WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT

The Hobbit - really the question here is how much power does the one ring have outside of middle earth. can the hulk pierce the invs cloak? can the predator? can the hobbit read the mind of an alien? i mean obv hobbit needs the ring otherwise dude is worse than sonic. very few of the combatants have strong psionic protection and they could theoretically be very vulnerable here but can the hobbitt effectively use these powers? important qns for our times but i dont have the answers. no odds given.

Xena - maybe she will get reincarnated as someone with better odds of winning this fight. like sonic. odds 99:1

Jean-Luc Picard - phasers set to pun. good long-range fighter needs other for cover but never underestimate leadership potential cpt. has a good chance of rallying less evil forces into a loose federation. but does he have it in him to betray his colleagues and emerge victorious? probably not. odds 50:1

Darth Vader - his strengths match well against many other players' weaknesses yet he's still physically weak and slow even with the force. and he is easier to kill. but considering his incredible ruthlessness and offensive capabilities have to say 5:1

Rambo - more of a spoiler than anything his only chance is start shooting and never stop. odds 70:1

this guy FTW

http://iprefertheobscureremix.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/mes50.jpg

"70:1"
http://i43.tinypic.com/a13i9s.jpg

I would gladly bet $2 on Rambo, win $140, and then buy everyone expensive drinks. You'll thank me (and Rambo) later.

Rocky - should have replaced this dude with balrog or m.bison imo. was going to consider the merits of fat, wiley rocky vs. fit but stupid o.g rocky but i'll leave such philosophical ruminations to aronofsky. odds 80:1

Gargamel - ahahaha thank you so for much for making this poll otherwise i wouldn't have read his wikipedia entry. "Gargamel is an eternal bungler" lol but he does fuck with magic and even a hobbit is bigger than a smurf. odds: before my time and the dude has suffered enough

Lamp for MVP

http://gigazine.jp/img/2006/12/08/batman_alien_predator/batman_deadend_Snap6.jpg

someone needs to photoshop this battle

only way Vader would't win this is if he's attacked from behind whilst simultaneously choking as many people in his sights as possible (presumably there is a limit on this), otherwise maybe the Hulk thru sheer size and brute strength (unless shot in the face arrrrgh)

i composed this poll on my phone while lying on the couch immobile with a NYE hangover

i am glad to see it has inspired such thoughtful debate

so i guess we're talking tv hulk, i don't think any of these bozos could scratch comic hulk unless picard has the enterprise. even grey hulk slapped wolverine around. in his own comic!

http://www.bamkapow.com/bk_images/2008/06/05/hulk-amazing-feats/Hulk-mountain-Secret-Wars-4.jpg

listen to reason

great job Lamp. based on your analysis vader seems to be the trap pick, but i already voted for him :(

it'd come down to hellboy and hulk

yah i don't really know hellboy's deal, prob can't die or something

The thing is, I feel like Vader beats Hulk, Hulk beats Wolverine, Wolverine beats Vader, so I'm stuck.

wolverine versus vader is the perfect matchup for this kind of argument - adamantium is indestructible, but lightsabers can cut thru anything!!!!! FUK!!! TIME PARADOX

Vader doesn't need to cut Wolverine because he can just kill him with his MIND.

yeah I'm trying to imagine the results if you parry wolverine's claws with a lightsaber and it's retarded

where's robocop

more like where's samus aran?

DREDD would win I think - in his absence voted Predator

Alien, Predator, Batman and oddly enough Xena would all win a 'home' match IMO

darth vader why because NIGGA CAN THROW PEOPLE WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM AND CHOKE THEM WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM THAT IS SOME GANGSTA SHIT

PLUS HE SWORD CUT PEOPLE IN HALF

the only guy vader would have a hard time with is superman, tbh

not that superman could beat him, but it might be a standoff

man all vader tangled with was scrubs and it took a sucker punch to take joe lieberman out after his own son whupped his ass. 6 movies i notice he didn't fuck with yoda get ouuuuta here with that dude

Predator sees all, turns invisible and shoots deadly projectiles, so Predator FTW

but then again, I didn't wikipedia to find out what the fuck a Hellboy was

Vader doesn't need to cut Wolverine because he can just kill him with his MIND.

― Millsner,

Magneto was throwing Wolverine around with his mind, so I can easily imagine Vader besting him.

before things got really started, the Hobbit could ask Rocky a riddle game.

Also, people keep mentioning the Predator, but he's a physically vulnerable character, at least in the videogames. His main defence is the invisibility cloak, which the Alien and Vader would both be able to see through. And the Predator doesn't move quickly. In the Predator movie, he gets fucked up when Dutch and the others start firing into the jungle, but that's at least 30 seconds after what's-his-name-with-the-minigun gets killed, so he can't have been moving very fast. And in the AVP movie there are several instances where a Pred gets owned by an Alien basically while the Pred is just standing there. Although to be fair, Aliens move damn quick.

I think Sonic The Hedgehog is being seriously underestimated here. As long as he can catch at least one ring after he gets hit, he's basically invincible. Unless there is some water around to drown him in.

Magneto wasn't throwing Wolverine around with his mind. He was using his metal-moving powers to move Wolverine's metal skeletal frame. AFAIK, Wolverine has defenses against mind control, and, due to the link between telekinesis and telepathy, that might extend to the Force. I went with Batman though. He's brilliant enough to turn all enemy combatant's weapons against themselves. Just look at Morrison-era JLA Batman. He had no problem facing off against Gods. His toolbelt is really a very minor ability compared to his inhumane ability to process information and plan.

Ie: I suspect Batman forges an alliance with Darth Vader against some of the more difficult battles. While Vader is destroying Wolverine (who clearly gets some good hits in on Vader before succumbing to the forth), Batman backstabs Vader and MOVES THE FUCK on. Victory.

Predator sees all, turns invisible and shoots deadly projectiles, so Predator FTW

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Friday, January 2, 2009 7:37 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

but then again, I didn't wikipedia to find out what the fuck a Hellboy was

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Friday, January 2, 2009 7:37 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

dont pretend you are somehow cooler than somebody who does know, you still voted in this poll and argued your choice, that makes you as nerdy as the rest of us

i like mordy's answer cuz i do think that brains & cunning is being seriously underestimated here

i could see batman & picard teaming up... definitely the two smartest guys in the room here

I'm not convinced that Rambo would shoot down Xena. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would never hit a lady.

Out of Batman, Wolverine & Vader here I'm going for Vader. Adamantium skeleton isn't much good if it's your windpipe being mindsqueezed.

I'm starting to think that maybe Batman might be able to take Vader. I'm not sure how - but Batman is smart. He'll find a way.

BTW I think there should be an accompanying all-lady thread "WHO WOULD WIN IN A CAT FIGHT?"

You guys are overrating Vader a bit here, I'm not sure if the force even works under these conditions.

given several weeks of planning, maybe batman could come up with something. if he swung into the middle of it unawares then i'm not convinced.

i can't think of any convincing reason why the force wouldn't work in this brawl.

I've not seen it, but didn't luke skywalker or hans solo kick vaders ass?

matt dc otm

luke skywalker did, but his midichlorian counts were off da chartz. he's not in this list, otherwise it'd be a cinch.

Batman and Vader would be the last ones standing, thus begins the battle of the VOICES OF DOOM.

Batman doesn't even have super powers ffs

Batman certainly does have the cunning to get within striking distance of Vader, but I think some people are seriously underestimating THE POWER OF THE FORCE here. Vader'd sense his presence pretty quickly, and once that happens, he's toast. Even with the batsuit Batman is just a normal schmuck who's in really good shape and knows some fighting moves.