Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

just curious: how often do the women posting here get msg'd? even at my most active i was seriously getting maybe like...one message every two weeks?

I get maybe one a week.

I have a female friend who is very, very pretty who gets like 10 a day, though.

Mandee, I think you would clean up in New York.

I get maybe one or two messages a day? Sometimes less, it depends. But only after searching around and clicking on lots of profiles. If I didn't do that, I doubt I would get that much attention. Just checking, yesterday I got one new message, another message that was someone replying to me, and a third message that was someone who wrote me that I replied to who wrote back. I'm always bored and updating my profile or adding new things to it...so unfortunately that shows up on the new activity screen and then I get the crazy contingent writing in.

I can go weeks w/o getting a message. I think it's partly proportional to your activity on the site--I never really browse or look at other ppl's profiles, and usually only login to reply to messages. When I update my profile or something, I might get a few new messages that exact day, but then nothing.

Allow me to share a bit of advice a friend gave me when I joined the site. She said that looking at profiles is like exchanging glances at a bar. So, when you look at someone's profile they are going to see that you visited, they might in return look at yours, and so on...until someone messages (~offers to buy you a beer).

so i should stop browsing anonymously?

I had a massive message uptick when I put up a new photo, and now silence despite people looking at my profile and me looking at theirs in return. It's like none of us can be arsed, which isn't really true on my side - when I get less busy, I'll actually write to some of these dudes and spend time on some dates.

Yes, stop browsing anonymously xpost

ahahahaha.

x-post

yes, post haste.

I used to switch back and forth between anon and non anon (but then I would lose the saved activity), so now I just use my secret profile when I feel the need to stalk.

Yeah, I was browsing anonymously. Just changed that setting!

i just disabled my account because things are going absurdly well already.

but yeah, seems like turning off anonymous browsing is the way to go, because at least for me, i would check out the profile of almost anyone who had visited my page. the person that i found had been on my page at 6:30 am or something and caught my eye.

ZS: you have a serious case of beginner's luck! Well done.

i know i should be more proactive about browsing and messaging people but i just don't have the patience/energy. so the only people i check out are people that send me messages.

i do have a date next sunday with a lawyer who i suspect is shorter than me, as his profile lists him only one inch taller and it's pretty common for men to add two inches. i don't have a problem with dating someone shorter, but i don't know if a lot of men want to date someone taller.

and tonight is the date with the non-drinker, finally.

it's pretty common for men to add two inches

this is so strange! i mean, i could see some men doing it, but still, very odd.

but i don't know if a lot of men want to date someone taller.

the good news is that if he listed himself as an inch taller, then either:
a) he's one of those guys who adds two inches, so he's actually an inch shorter than you, but surely he's seen your height on your profile so he's cool with being a bit shorter, or
b) he's actually an inch taller than you

VP, thank you for trying to find me, I am actually Zora[insert an underscore]DBII not ZoraDBII as previously advised. And seeing as how others are being cautious about putting their exact handles on here, it's probably not a bad thing that I got it wrong!

I need to stalk some of your profiles now.

i've actually gotten to the point where on pulling up a profile i do a 3 point check: match percentage, photo thumbnail peek & height. a+ on 1&2 mean nothin for me if the girl is more than 2 inches taller tbh. helps me power past disappointment faster.

hoos, you wouldn't date a taller lady? why not?

Laurel (89%) - Love the pic, and your profile made me want to message you to ask what you mean by 'genre' fiction.

bene_gesserit (77%) - You have awesome hair, nice chatty profile, yay pangolins!

Fiction that isn't considered "literary", it's divided up by entertainment "genres": sci-fi/fantasy, mystery, espionage, thriller, etc. Romance, too, I guess, although my interests do not turn there.

western!

sorry i am bored at work and i am also lurking itt but have very little to say since i have never used this service

maybe you should write our profiles for us

Ah yes, also Westerns!

i might make you out to be more enthusiastic than you really are though, and then what
then what?!?!

Thank u, Zane Grey. xp

if you browse non-anonymously, and you look at someone's profile several times, does it register each and every time you visit? does it make clear exactly how much of a stalker you are?

Yeah I get what 'genre' means. I just had a hard time imagining you liking *all* genres. It wasn't a criticism, fwiw, it's good to have something that puts a question in the reader's mind.

hoos, you wouldn't date a taller lady? why not?

― bene_gesserit, Monday, November 7, 2011 7:25 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark

have never done it and the half dozen dates i've been on w/3+ inch taller girls have had a weird dynamic to me. owning up to total unconscious internalized "need to feel dominant" possbility here, but can't get past my self-consciousness despite the efforts.

No, I really like all of them except Romance! To varying degrees, but my answer is still "Almost all genre fic"--sorry if answer was over-explainy. It's more to downplay the "literaryness" of my reading tastes on that site because everyone else who identifies as a "reader" seems to be trying to out-David Foster Wallace/Evelyn Waugh each other.

OMG just got a message from someone inviting me to be his sub. Geez. READ THE F'ING PROFILE.

Anyway, on with the stalkering -!

LocalGarda (66%) - OK, if I wasn't too old for you I'd definitely date you on the basis of this, though I'd be nervous about not being interesting or culturally literate enough. You come across... please take this as a compliment... very ILXy.

Good lord, everyone's so YOUNG. Ronan, I had no idea! Also not sure how we are only 65% match, that's like the lowest of any ilxor so far which makes NO sense. I guess there were no questions about Liverpool, so....

Oh, you've only answered 11 questions, THAT'S why. So any one or two that we disagree about actually count for a lot.

The other day I dropped a quick line to someone whose name is a Go-Betweens reference. Does that automatically make them an ilxor? Or known to ilxors? That partic Venn diagram has to be in the 70 or 80% crossover range.

Trayce (68%) - Photo might not be 'you', but it's cute. What a drag about the 40 thing; I'll be there myself in a month, chiz. You don't look it. Surely you will win any man over with curry and treehouses.

I'm not doing very well at constructive criticism, but honestly, you all seem 10x more interesting and not-scary than any of the non-ILX profiles I've looked at.

my name is a ref to the fall, who...don't appear to have many gay fans, based on my OKC experiences

Zora, you have such a nice face/smile!

Thank you. :) That picture was taken at World Fantasy last autumn. I was incredibly happy! It is probably a misrepresentation!

See, right now Ronan doesn't seem that young to me because I remember him as like an 18 year old back when I first started posting to ILX.

I worried about my photo! I think I need a different one, but I dont know which one! I feel like my good photos are... too good? Misrepresentative hahaah oh dear. Such confidence!

Rayuela, every time you look at them it will show up on their list of visitors. If you feel awkward about this, switch to your special fake account (what, you don't have one?) I have one, but I'm afraid to use it, because I think it's too obvious it's me. Yes, I am paranoid.

No dates planned this week.

Zora, nice profile. Do people still contact you even though you say "seeing someone"?

Yes, they do. It's about 10-1 people looking for sex or a relationship even though I say 'looking for friends'. My old profile went into some blah about why I was looking for friends (recent move to London), but I still got almost entirely 'hook-up' messages so I cut all that out.

I guess I'm not seeing Goblin Boy any more, but I'm totally not looking for romance so I'm lairy about changing it to single.

donna rouge (58%) - Adorable beard/ smile combo, chapstick lolz, the bleeding thing is a bit ick maybe?

ljubljana (92%) - Ha ha, internets think we are made for each other. I share your passion for chai tea lattes, but I'm trying to give them up cause the sugar rush is bad news. You are terribly pretty!

VP and Zora, you should create a website and judge people's OKC's accounts, you're doing a brilliant job!

I've given up trying to critique, I'm just throwing out a reaction. If anyone has any partic concerns I'd be happy to look harder.

I'm not anyone's target audience so I'm not sure how helpful I can be.

Just in case you got me wrong Zora, I genuinely meant what I said, you're doing a great jon commenting on OKC profiles!