Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

(I do appreciate it when people write about being hard-core activists, because, probably, I'm not going to get along with such strident types.)

do they say "i am a hard core activist" or is this something you discern from the way they talk about politics?

for about a week i mentioned under "what i am doing w/my life" that "a lot of my energy lately goes into my role as part of the media team of Occupy DC," in the interest of full disclosure, but then i got rid of that.

Re "hard core activist": I usually discern it from the way they talk about veganism and/or exercise.

(my last question was just out of curiosity--i stopped browsing for profiles a long time ago, so i don't have an accurate view of what's out there. i should start looking again.)

hoos, any reason you got rid of it?

Ha, no, maybe they just mention somewhere stuff about fighting injustices and the like.

hoos, any reason you got rid of it?

― rayuela, Friday, November 4, 2011 8:14 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

i feel like there are still too many people who don't know what we're really about & consequently would get so turned off by it that it'd overwhelm any interest.

good point

I kind of disagree--I think if you're passionate about something, it's a good filter.

Local Garda, I like your profile, but we are only a 70% match. I would suggest putting something different in the 'you should message me' part. Something funny or specific.

I think the specificity rule is a really good one: it's like how when you get certified in CPR, one of the things you have to learn is to single a SPECIFIC PERSON out of the crowd and tell THAT PERSON to call 911. Because if you just say "Someone call 911!!", some horrifying percentage of people assume that someone else will do it.

In the same way, people are more likely to feel personally invited/indicated by your profile cues if you include a specific quality, no matter how facetious.

kinda disappointed that nobody's ever msgd me saying 'i, too, have been a member of communist parties'

Awww! Hahaha.

I mean that's like 50 people total in a territory defined as "east of the Mississippi", what are the odds.

so i'm going on a date with someone tomorrow, but he informed me that he has to work at night, so we are doing a day meetup, and i'm a little disappointed about that. both of our previous meetups have been getting coffee at like 6 pm, and he doesn't drink alcohol at all, and this is all just a little too tame for me!

hey ok i finally did this so i can play too. we will see how long i last, lol... user name innersp@cer@ce where @ are a's, obv

i have never dated a non-drinker. hmm

rrrobyn, I love you. Will you marry me?

yaay my first okcupid marriage proposal! it is working! :)

"People can be pretty on top of things." Hilars!

oh this is kinda fun: i googled my username to see if this thread would come up since i mentioned it, and as results i got the profiles of guys on whose profiles i show up in the "similar users" sidebar. so its my username and the differentiating "less organized" etc

i briefly dated a non-drinker who was also vegan - never. again. while there are foods that are awesome and also vegan, vegan restaurants are uniformly terrible, and he only wanted to eat at these underwhelming and overpriced places.

good food or lots of drinks - i don't need both but i definitely need at least one of those things!

You don't have to like steak, but I'll like you more if you do.

Is my take on it.

Seriously tempted now - you all should be hired by the OK Cupid marketing department

I went on a dinner date with a non drinker; he hadn't gotten a chance to get through his spiel of how I should feel comfortable to drink when I had already ordered my first beer.

Okay, as a vegetarian, I have to say it's pretty disheartening to see that people cannot put up with my dietary choices yet I am forced to put up with theirs. This happens so often, it's really frustrating.

Also, a lot of people don't drink because they have a history of alcohol abuse. Is it such a problem that you drink but the other person doesn't?

Non-vegetarian restaurants serve vegetarian options - vegetarian restaurants don't serve non-vegetarian options. Which would be fine every so often, but not forever and ever if that was the only choice of restaurant you were ever given by your partner.

(Also, no, I'm not going to be into a partner who can remember every stupid thing I do while drunk and never gets drunk and does stupid things themselves. No problem with people who don't drink but they're not compatible with my lifestyle and would never be a suitable prospective partner.)

i will (and have) dated vegetarians - it's not that hard to find a place that has both veg and meat options, i'm ok w/ veg-only restaurants, and i generally prefer cooking veg at home anyway

Rrrobyn (87% match), I love your profile.

I also like that this thread is somehow inspiring people to sign up.

I have no idea why someone who has had alcohol abuse problems would want to date someone who considers drinking a standard course of action on all dates/social events, really. If anyone is saying "I wouldn't date a non-drinker" then that's pretty much saying it's a lifestyle they want to share.

That said, people who don't drink enough to do stupid things - not that there's anything wrong with that - might be perfectly fine dating a non-drinker

As someone seeing a vegan - and as y'all know we really don't see eye to eye on the ish - it's been fine for me. I'm happy to cook compatible food when he visits. We don't eat out, tho I'm sure he is fine with just Indian places or something. I got no prob with non drinkers and smokers too on one condition - I WILL NOT tolerate self righteous moralizing about my lifestyle choices. If ye gonna make faces and rude comments abt drunks or " cancer stick" , go away.

dudes, i have a date tomorrow! is it weird to link to the person's page?

Argh this iPhone is impossible to type on.

I think you maybe shouldn't link to the profile, but a thinly veiled allusion to her name wouldn't go amiss.

B_g, I like your profile! Your pics are fine. My only advice would be to make the what are you doing with your life bit more succinct, and maybe not use an exclamation mark in this part. I hate enthusiasm, but maybe that's just me.

I hate enthusiasm

<3

i once had a date through yahoo personals a long time ago- two women showed up, they were roommates! i had no idea who i was supposed to "date" that night because there was no picture in the profile. they wanted to go to a vegetarian place that didn't serve alcohol, i nixed it and recommended a Lebanese place that had plenty of veg options and booze. one of them asked me if i used alcohol as a crutch and i said it was more like a wheelchair. we had dinner and it was weird cuz i still didn't know who was dating who. never saw them again.

disappointing penthouse letter, tbh

This is why meeting people irl is preferable - you like them, there is mutual attraction, and because of that you give them the benefit of the doubt as to some of the things that you might find 'questionable' (vegetarian, liking ayn rand, etc etc).

Really though
I am going to say something really harsh

I think some of you may be holding others to higher standards than you hold to yourselves.

yeah, i even rubbed hummus on my pecs in a seductive manner

nothing

xpost

Wouldn't you want others to give you the benefit of the doubt?

Think of all the relationships in your life that have come as a surprise - unexpected friendships and partnerships. One of my best friends is a 38 year-old Suburban mother of two with whom I have almost nothing in common. I would have never expected that.

You have to have an open heart to find love.

Sorry, I'm a bit of a hippie. I don't think when you're looking for love lacking enthusiasm or being cynical should ever enter the picture.

one of them asked me if i used alcohol as a crutch and i said it was more like a wheelchair.

LOL

And, I'll end here by saying: if you're setting the bar this high for your potential match, are entering this with even half your effort into it, lacking enthusiasm, etc - please just delete your profile, because you are wasting everyone's time.

to whom are you directing this?

loving this turn of mand33's approach from "pua protips" to "scolding grandmother"

hoos you are bragging in this prof, and you gotta kill that, man. The "hip Whit" thing is pure shameless self-congratulation and kinda oogs me out tbh. Also where you said "I like poetry, blah blah blah, Thai food, and you" you gotta kill the "and you" part of this, it's cheesy in a not-good way.

tbh I had similar reactions but iirc a hoos is neck-deep in OKC trim 23/7 so this stuff obv creates sponaneous meltism in his ~target audience~ ergo strut on, playa

t

Sorry, this is all colored by my a lot of my personal experiences, and seeing the comments on this thread today have just kind of made my heart a bit heavy

god only knows what a hoos does with that 24th hour

i think everyone here is being pretty open-minded, actually? laurel is a little ott with her disdain, but i wouldn't read so much into it

god only knows what a hoos does with that 24th hour

^alternate beach boys lyrics from the pet sounds boxset