I've seen guys say they want someone who is smarter than them, and I guess I thought it seemed kind of "cute" but it never propelled me to write to any of them.
Thanks, b_g . . . I will be stalking your profile shortly.
― Virginia Plain, Thursday, 3 November 2011 22:38 (twelve years ago) link
You can trawl OKC anon so no one sees you've looked at their profiles, and I *think*it only sends you the "hey you got starred" if you're a high match with the person who did it (atleast thats what the email implies)
― Trayce, Thursday, 3 November 2011 22:41 (twelve years ago) link
who thinks "a lot" is one word
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
― Juggy Brottleteen (ENBB), Thursday, 3 November 2011 22:43 (twelve years ago) link
the stars thing is funny, at one point it used to tell people if you gave them 1 star and you'd get some angry message from someone...it was so weird. make a two stars you're grim "neeeext" imo.
this site never changes anyway...messaged a girl sunday, had a good exchange of messages, talked about some local places and decided to go for a drink....no reply. similarly am not replying to messages myself after initial contact.
it's just a big pass the parcel of hurt.
― When a German communicates, you listen (LocalGarda), Thursday, 3 November 2011 22:45 (twelve years ago) link
Haha, LG, you are totally right on that last point. Anyone else wanna put their screen names here? I'm too embarased to do so, but I promise to creepily visit your profiles.
I'm way too nice for this site (or cruel, not sure which). I'm going on a thing tonight that I have no desire to do at all, simply bc I agreed to meet up ages ago and he never got the message that I wasn't actually that enthusiastic about it, upon further reflection.
― Virginia Plain, Thursday, 3 November 2011 23:01 (twelve years ago) link
mine is "itsthisthing", i can't remember what i put on my profile so please don't ridicule it.
― When a German communicates, you listen (LocalGarda), Thursday, 3 November 2011 23:10 (twelve years ago) link
Mine's [removed], fwiw. I dunno if my main photo is "me" but its the most recent one i have.
― Trayce, Thursday, 3 November 2011 23:11 (twelve years ago) link
And I am wondering - honestly - if the fact my age now says 40 is some kind of psychological barrier, cos, I swear to you, my contacts dropped like a stone the minute it wasnt 30something anymore.
(unless its the smoking thing)
― Trayce, Thursday, 3 November 2011 23:13 (twelve years ago) link
i'm tempohouse but i haven't updated my profile in months
― vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 23:28 (twelve years ago) link
I'm devoichitsa and I accept constructive profile criticism.
Average age of men messaging me on JDate is around 55, with a number of 65-year olds in the mix. (I'm 39).
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 03:34 (twelve years ago) link
ok everyone has better/more recent pics
also, ljubljana your profile seems quite all right and you are pretty and look about 25 years of age?
― mh, Friday, 4 November 2011 03:46 (twelve years ago) link
Aw thanks! That is because I choose to post backlit photos. I think there's a WDYLL where I demonstrated the difference it makes. But still thanks, because sometimes I *am* backlit!
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 03:47 (twelve years ago) link
Thanks for sharing y'all. I will visit your profiles shortly.
Tonight's date was cuter than his pics, more fun than his e-mails and didn't try to turn a good-night peck on the cheek into a surprise full kiss on the mouth. Result!
― Virginia Plain, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:04 (twelve years ago) link
I think there's a WDYLL where I demonstrated the difference it makes.
your explanation was not convincing iirc
― mookieproof, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:05 (twelve years ago) link
It was irrefutable photographic evidence, although I thank you for choosing to ignore it.
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:10 (twelve years ago) link
Ew I just got an incredibly offensive message from some random horrid person. Maybe I shoudlnt have put my username here haha. BLOOOCCKKKKED.
― Trayce, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:28 (twelve years ago) link
Hey folks – amidst the tumbling, tentative cries of hope and trepidation in this thread, there’s a somewhat dichotomised contention: that one wishes to find joy, love or release on OK Cupid, but fears that frustration, misery and gallows humour will forever beset them. If anything, an increased sense of community has pushed the balance of contention in the latter’s favour, which seems counter-intuitive, but is wholly understandable given that this strengthened community has brought to light the deficiencies of trying to find intimacy in a stranger’s public self-evaluation form. So with a certain degree of hesitancy, I’d like to suggest that on such a free-form and user-determined platform as either OK Cupid or life, one receives more or less what one prepares for – and if this is frustration, then that is what will manifest. If on the other hand ILX’s eligible surfers prepare, in all ways, for what they truly want, then they will surely bring about that reality. In a way, OK Cupid has taken something of a kicking on its own thread – let me affirm, then, that when it goes well, it can go really well, and that it need not represent a disdained adjunct to one’s ego but a channel through which one might let flow the truer reality of thought in whichever direction one chooses. By the time my own virtual interface met its purpose – the purpose I’d resolved upon shortly beforehand – I’d more or less discarded it as a relic of wilder, more unsatisfying days, which demonstrates that it really doesn’t matter how you govern the six or seven answer-boxes and smattering of pictures that you reluctantly elect as your virtual representative, but it really does matter how you govern your everyday existence and mental resolve. Perhaps this isn’t news to you, and perhaps the grouching here is simply time-filling gossip, but I think it’s important to restate the value of internet dating sites, because they radically increase the possibilities of broaching one’s thoughts to receptive senses, and finding fulfilment in consequence.
And of course, if there’s any sort of connection, it’s best to take it off OK Cupid and into a more personable realm – unlike this post, no amount of correspondence with a compatible soul will be tl;dr. So…um…good luck OKC. Truly. :)
― once a week is ample, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:34 (twelve years ago) link
i can't even begin to read that but i'm guessing you are l0u1s jagg3r.
― bene_gesserit, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:38 (twelve years ago) link
sorry i'm old/new :/
― bene_gesserit, Friday, 4 November 2011 04:43 (twelve years ago) link
loool
― fungal guys (electricsound), Friday, 4 November 2011 05:08 (twelve years ago) link
tl;dr is correct
ronan i think i need to help you w/ your profile
― homosexual II, Friday, 4 November 2011 05:14 (twelve years ago) link
no offense
I'm ZoraDBII, and I am very very bad at OKC. I haven't updated my profile in ages, and I almost never respond to messages. Mostly this is because said messages seem to be along the lines of "I think ur pritty and intersting pleas look at my profile maybe we can hook up."
But I should not point the finger because I haven't proactively messaged *anyone*.
I'm not over my ex, am I? I should probably just quit. /sigh
― Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Friday, 4 November 2011 09:44 (twelve years ago) link
Mine's qwpoiAlso accepting constructive criticism re profile!
VP glad to hear yr date went well!
― rayuela, Friday, 4 November 2011 13:15 (twelve years ago) link
Btw my most hated section is the "what do ppl notice first about you"
― rayuela, Friday, 4 November 2011 13:22 (twelve years ago) link
Then don't answer it! Or say it's your wooden leg.
― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2011 13:32 (twelve years ago) link
Great straightforward happy-and-engaged sounding/looking profile and photos, rayuela. I would respond to a male profile like this. I never find any.
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 13:40 (twelve years ago) link
Mine is the opposite of straight-forward, I guess.
Yesterday when I was home and online all day, I contemplated adding to mine: "I'm ambivalent about this dating thing. How about we just call it 'having beers with a dude who isn't already one of my friends, who I might like, and seeing what happens'?" and then realized that THAT'S WHAT A DATE IS. At base. Dummmmmmmm.
― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2011 13:48 (twelve years ago) link
What is yours Laurel (if you are sharing it, no prob if not!) or did I miss it above?
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 13:56 (twelve years ago) link
> "I'm ambivalent about this dating thing. How about we just call it 'having beers with a dude who isn't already one of my friends, who I might like, and seeing what happens'?" and then realized that THAT'S WHAT A DATE IS. At base. Dummmmmmmm.
That's what a boring, unimaginative date is....
― Everything else is secondary (Lee626), Friday, 4 November 2011 13:57 (twelve years ago) link
Oh those are the kind I like.
― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2011 13:58 (twelve years ago) link
ljub, it's Cr3p3-Suzett3, in which all the 3s are Es, obv. Realized I don't want it to be traceable to this thread!
― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:00 (twelve years ago) link
This is one way that meeting a dude on a fetish site is easier. "Let's meet for a drink first to verify that the other guy isn't crazy."
― Dr Morbois de Bologne (Dr Morbius), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:01 (twelve years ago) link
I dislike a lot of things, including karaoke, walking, and fun. So having quiet beers somewhere dank on a Tuesday night is way more my speed.
― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:03 (twelve years ago) link
Re: beers at a pub - I guess I'm just not a big fan of alcohol - IME it doesn't loosen ppl up, it just makes them act like jerks more often. But hitting the pub still beats watching a movie. What do you learn about someone new by staring at a screen for hours?
I used to like singing karaoke to one of a date's favorite songs or one with significant/relevant lyrics, but my voice has deteriorated badly in recent years
― Everything else is secondary (Lee626), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:05 (twelve years ago) link
rayuela - criticism:
Talk more about your personality and the kind of person you're looking for if you can. I get the sense for the kind of work you do, the kind of stuff you like, and that you like living in Queens but if I were a guy I'd be clueless as to whether or not you'd actually dig me.
― homosexual II, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:07 (twelve years ago) link
Laurel: same criticism
Actually that's what I am seeing across the board from all of u :>
― homosexual II, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:08 (twelve years ago) link
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 13:40 (23 minutes ago) Permalink
Wow, there are no guys in your age range in the DC area with such profiles?
― curmudgeon, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:09 (twelve years ago) link
No movies, no sit-down dinners. It's too hard to keep that awkward first conversation going when you have to get to the place, wait to be seated, be seated, get menus, read menus, order, pour wine, get food, blah blah there are like 15 interruptions to your fledgling conversation and THEN you have to chew in front of the person and converse while putting food in your mouths and like no big deal normally but not on a FIRST DATE.
Oh, I'm not actually trying to meet anyone! Or if I want to, I would just email them. :)
― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:09 (twelve years ago) link
Ha, I like your kind of profile too Laurel!
Curmudgeon: not quite like that, no. Too much rambling about hikes.
― ljubljana, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:13 (twelve years ago) link
mandee i love it when you give advice! even if i'm not on okcupid
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:15 (twelve years ago) link
my profile is 'manuela_wr@ught' if anyone wants to take a gander (replace the ampersand, naturlich)
― homosexual II, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:15 (twelve years ago) link
well I learned about okcupid profiles from the master himself, big HOOS
― homosexual II, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:16 (twelve years ago) link
― curmudgeon, Friday, November 4, 2011 10:09 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark
hey ljubljana, i'm a DC area guy! I'd trust ILX over OKC for finding dates....
― Everything else is secondary (Lee626), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:16 (twelve years ago) link
there was a time many years ago when i had a profile on okcupid and it was all subtexti think it was more of an experiment than a dating profile even if i did go on a couple of datesstill thinking about attempting dating-profile sincerity soon
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:18 (twelve years ago) link
HOOS advice is good advicexp
Laurel, I think you should totally add that bit. I would definitely be into that were it written by the opposite gender.
Rayuela, you live in Qns? What part? I'm in Sunnyside.
I've had one dinner date . . . it was surprisingly non horrible, but I definitely wouldn't have chosen it. It helped that it was at a dingy Thai restaurant in Qns. The best part was when he looked at the bill and proclaimed that he owed $25. I put in $20 and when the change came he attempted to give me $2 back. The really best part was when a few days later he e-mailed me, surprised that I hadn't responded to his texts and wondering when our relationship was going to begin.
― Virginia Plain, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:18 (twelve years ago) link
Can you search profiles without having to join?
And can you search internationally?
― Everything else is secondary (Lee626), Friday, 4 November 2011 14:19 (twelve years ago) link
I prefer to meet at night if it can be arranged - there's just something about coffee during the daytime that sets the tone for friendship
― homosexual II, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:20 (twelve years ago) link
― homosexual II, Friday, November 4, 2011 2:07 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Hmm, maybe it's because I want to sound well adjusted in my profile when in reality I am cranky and cynical. How does one convey personality though? (thanks for the feedback!)
And good point Laurel, I think I will take that out.
I want to look at everyone's profiles, but the site is a bit too colorful for work when just anyone can see my screen...
xp VP, I'm in Jackson Heights. I love it. Our dates were polar opposites. I ended up paying for our drinks and he took more change than me at dinner (I would think, being 30 min late, he would volunteer to pay all.)
― rayuela, Friday, 4 November 2011 14:21 (twelve years ago) link