your terrible ideas

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'umbrella condoms' - giant condoms for putting an umbrella into when it's wet

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 08:29 (twelve years ago) link

They hand those out in clothes shops round these parts.

antiautodefenestrationism (ledge), Thursday, 27 October 2011 08:59 (twelve years ago) link

^^yeah that's standard practice in hk

dayo, Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:18 (twelve years ago) link

there is even an umbrella condom machine for big and small sizes

dayo, Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:18 (twelve years ago) link

Testi-cools - a range of underwear for men that have those cooling gel packs sewn into them, to prevent your scrotum overheating and getting stuck to your legs.

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:25 (twelve years ago) link

NSFW umbrella condom ad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dgyKiCe3xQ

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:27 (twelve years ago) link

i'm coming back to my idea of a dog zoo, where all the animals are adoptable. some exhibits might include

the golden forest of various retrievers
the low rollling hummock of collies
the corgi lab (replete with labcoats)
the low-key self-motivated racetrack for retired grayhounds in which the mechanical rabbits are made out of cheese and are occasionally catchable

turkey in the straw (x2) (remy bean), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:29 (twelve years ago) link

The TV commercial for Testi-Cools could use 'Blue Suede Shoes', but with different lyrics:

Do anything
that you wanna do
but uh-huh honey, stay off of my 'Cools
Oh don't you, step on my Testi-Cools
You can do anything,
but stay off of my Testi-Cools

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:36 (twelve years ago) link

Corgi lab A+ idea

They're coming to get you, (Jenny), Thursday, 27 October 2011 12:33 (twelve years ago) link

Veblen of Luxembourg ™ - Luxury personal lifestyle brand selling gold signature-embossed ivory shoehorns and diamond cognac decanters

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 1 November 2011 21:29 (twelve years ago) link

Most of my terrible ideas are actually just terrible puns for business names. This morning I briefly thought "Esprit Decor" was a good name for an interior design firm, but it's terrible.

Not only is it terrible, Google informs me it's also terribly unoriginal by a margin of about 40000 results.

a guy called Gerard (onimo), Thursday, 3 November 2011 12:03 (twelve years ago) link

A pay-by-the-hour philospher service combined with a horse stables, called 'Putting Decartes Before The Horse'.

asked Dermot O'Leary, but he couldn't help me either. They call me the (snoball), Thursday, 3 November 2011 12:37 (twelve years ago) link

booooooo

google sluething so hard right now (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:33 (twelve years ago) link

A public service broadcast campaign called "Tough Luck, You're Doing It"

Glo-Vember (dog latin), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:09 (twelve years ago) link

A pay-by-the-hour philospher service combined with a horse stables, called 'Putting Decartes Before The Horse'.

― asked Dermot O'Leary, but he couldn't help me either. They call me the (snoball), Thursday, November 3, 2011 12:37 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

ayyy

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:12 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

Emmett Amish Jugband Christmas

Kelsey Glamour (Nijoli), Friday, 6 January 2012 12:58 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Small, chic eatery called Gruel -- sells bowls of a high end version of the titular substance. No utencils and you have to sit on the floor.

frogBaSeball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 29 January 2012 22:52 (twelve years ago) link

A cover of 10cc's 'The Things We Do For Love', dubstep style with suitably amended lyrics and retitled 'The Things We Do For Wub'.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:01 (twelve years ago) link

call it Grool with a backwards capital G and you're golden xp

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:04 (twelve years ago) link

Give the interior a school theme and call it Grool Skool?

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

And the adverts could be fronted by Mr. T.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:31 (twelve years ago) link

"I pity the fool who doesn't eat at Grool Skool. Becuase it rools."

Also, another series of ads could be fronted by Dave Grohl, except the board of directors of the company that owned the Grool Skool chain would make him change his name to Dave Groooooohl.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:40 (twelve years ago) link

i got tons of restaurants

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:15 (twelve years ago) link

salad daze - we only serve salads lol

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:15 (twelve years ago) link

snackball - a food game (maybe for kids?) which involves things like meatballs and grapes which can be thrown, through hoops or bounced off targets, into people's mouths

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:16 (twelve years ago) link

a mexican buffet called GORDOS

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:17 (twelve years ago) link

love the gruel idea

fuckhead (latebloomer), Monday, 30 January 2012 09:39 (twelve years ago) link

Children's Fables for the Web2.0 era: Google Docs and the Three Bears

I want your nose, your shoes and your unicycle (dog latin), Monday, 30 January 2012 10:07 (twelve years ago) link

Porn starring Merryl Streep entitled "Streep Throat"

happiness is the new productivity (Hurting 2), Monday, 6 February 2012 22:41 (twelve years ago) link

Streep Throat! omg.

Kelsey Glamour (Nijoli), Thursday, 9 February 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

A website for people to find others with complimentary fetishes. For example, people into sploshing could be matched up with people who have a housework fetish.

White 'Poop' Jesus (snoball), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 21:33 (twelve years ago) link

a box set of TV shows that were canceled after one episode

flopson and jetsam (unregistered), Thursday, 16 February 2012 20:03 (twelve years ago) link

i know they've had festivals/showings of cool/weird pilots that didn't get picked up

congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 16 February 2012 20:29 (twelve years ago) link

A Madonna tribute act called Whore Complex.

the feeling is surreal (snoball), Wednesday, 29 February 2012 15:03 (twelve years ago) link

Bait shop called SQUID PRO QUO

a serious minestrone rockist (remy bean), Wednesday, 29 February 2012 22:12 (twelve years ago) link

hair salon called FUCK YOU, IT'S HAIR!

Totes le Héros (contenderizer), Thursday, 1 March 2012 23:24 (twelve years ago) link

a reality show in which participants have to compete in losing weight, singing, cooking gourmet meals, dancing with celebrities, and designing fashionable outfits; meanwhile, their homes are being redecorated

congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:39 (twelve years ago) link

it's called 'BRAVO'

a serious minestrone rockist (remy bean), Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:43 (twelve years ago) link

An all-female Iron Maiden tribute act called Irony Maiden. Who all wear Margaret Thatcher masks.

rain came down like water falling from the clouds (snoball), Friday, 9 March 2012 16:53 (twelve years ago) link

that is a great idea

horseshoe, Friday, 9 March 2012 16:54 (twelve years ago) link

Thanks!
Therefore posting it on the 'terrible ideas' thread was a terrible idea...

rain came down like water falling from the clouds (snoball), Friday, 9 March 2012 17:44 (twelve years ago) link

you can't really go wrong on this thread

enjoy your fleetfoxesocracy sheeple (latebloomer), Saturday, 10 March 2012 08:36 (twelve years ago) link

An 80's era Genesis tribute band from Holland called Invisible Dutch.

a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Saturday, 17 March 2012 18:11 (twelve years ago) link

This Easter, let's all revert to Twitter Egg avatars and DM each other.

Pinktits, Saturday, 17 March 2012 19:34 (twelve years ago) link

A sitcom about an Alan B'stard type character who works for a company based in 30 St Mary Axe, called 'Jerk In The Gherkin'.

a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Sunday, 25 March 2012 07:43 (twelve years ago) link

"Poultry in Motion" - a conveyor belt type restaurant that serves all manner of cooked birds

we are not bemused (onimo), Wednesday, 4 April 2012 11:06 (twelve years ago) link

get some rich person to pay me to spend 2 years completely alone, freaking out and making art

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Sunday, 15 April 2012 04:25 (twelve years ago) link

that's a good idea!

boy, was that Dan Fielding hungry for some cake! (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 15 April 2012 05:22 (twelve years ago) link

Commercialise the poopsock. The adverts could use a version of The B-52s' 'Love Shack' with new lyrics:

Poopsock
baby, poopsock

folks lining up outside just to poop down

poopin' in-a-sock
POOPING in a SOCK!

Cheggers Plays Populous (snoball), Sunday, 15 April 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link

I have been singing this to myself all day, so I'm sure that it's a good idea.

Cheggers Plays Populous (snoball), Sunday, 15 April 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link


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