Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

tracer it still cracks me up, so much funnier than "christ what an asshole"

I am particularly proud of it!

Mainly I guess because it feels New Yorkerish to me, i.e. privileged people fooling themselves, or overplaying their hand, about some aspect of the world

It is befuddling to me how UN-NEW-YORKERY the winning caption nearly always is

Possibly my favorite NYer cartoon ever was captionless. It had a guy on a desert island and a guy floating on a raft, both looking at each other, and one thought balloon they shared between them: "I'm saved!"

"I hope this train is going to Croccuppy Wall Street!"

^^^^^^

lol

"With these crocodile costumes, no one will know we're alligators!"

I know, I know... but I think that starts to pick the lock of the style a bit, i.e. "solve the puzzle" of the cartoon basically

"I know; I didn't expect New Yorkers to be so friendly either!"

"they're staring, maurice, i told you they would stare"

"this must be the...buffet car"

"vernon......don't look now....but.....her boots

"So is this the C or the A?"
(obscure crocodile v alligator / subway line joke)

"I was just going to go for the Botox, but I think I'll also have him look at this alligator skin."

"You can't cross your legs, you are a crocodile!"

"Excuse me miss, do I have any human flesh left over, in my teeth, from when I was eating a person before???"

"... Excuse me."

"These people act like they've never seen a gay-tor couple before!"

"If this train doesn't start moving soon, I'm going to rip somebody's head off! FOR REAL!"

"Did he just say 'We are delayed because of CRANE traffic ahead of us'? Crane? As in the bird that I like to eat?"

"Crocodiles on the subway? What is this, OHIO?"

"You can't cross your legs, you are a crocodile!"

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, October 20, 2011 1:12 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

I very nearly posted this exact sentence.

"With these crocodile costumes, no one will know we're alligators!"

lol, iv real.

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2011/10/31/cartoons/111031_cartoon_108_a16256_p465.gif

"So I guess that's how babby is formed."

"It beats walking"

Mine was "That's all very well, but how are we going to get home?"

"they're pretty good but i wish somebody would invent cream cheese"

aw, that was the gist of where i was going
"Just give me ten minutes, then we can invent lox"

"it's a hard life, being a miniature vagina caveman, surviving off of platelets"

"I'm WHEELY full"

"Eating these giant NuvaRings failed to prevent male pregnancy."

i just had my first exposure to the idea of nuvarings this weekend; amazing what being in a committed relationship for seven years does to your awareness of new birth control methods

'prehistoric stakeout'

amazing what being in a committed relationship for seven years does to your awareness of new birth control methods

yours was also for seven years? *solidarity*

and, this is probably really embarrassing to admit, but yeah i have not been following the new birth control method scene

"O! what a night!"

women are putting things inside them again! this is new! i mean it's old, but it's new!

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2011/11/21/p465/111121_contest_p465.jpg

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2011/11/21/p290/111121_contest_p290.jpg

"Be careful how you sit, Hugo, there's a man in an armchair right behind you"

"you may be po-faced, but you're not hip."

I'm sorry

"This isn't working out."

Is this a hippo which I see before me,
The tail toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A hippo of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
Mavis, it's kicking in.

"Mavis, it's kicking in."

!!

This should totally join the pantheon of all-purpose captions

"Isn't this supposed to be an elephant?"

"He's a little TOO loyal."

"Now that I see it installed, it IS bigger than I thought"

"It's just until he finds a new habitat."

"It's not the hippo, Harry, it's you."

"Honestly Ted, it's like we watch the same thing every night."

"Well, *I* think it brightens up the place."

"I said, 'Look into its majestic EYES.'"