Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

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can i just say i started 3 last night and i'm a bit underwhelmed - after the fuckin awesome train crash opening of part 2, starting the game with a generic pub brawl is pretty lame. and then the billionth sewer level i've ever seen. this better get better. and seriously eff every reviewer who failed to mention this, god, video game reviewers are such fucking hacks

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 17:26 (seven years ago) link

the honest guys (tom chick @ honest gamers, eurogamer) kinda all panned this. ign loved it, tho!

Mordy, Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:09 (seven years ago) link

oh yeah, av club also panned it

Mordy, Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:12 (seven years ago) link

have to say, it don't look good imho

Summer Slam! (Ste), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:16 (seven years ago) link

well av club gave it a C, not really a pan but probably more negative than expected

i still want it

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:18 (seven years ago) link

a C for an AAA title like this is effectively a pan imho.

Mordy, Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:20 (seven years ago) link

I went on the recommendation of wired, which usually seems to be more honest, and totally loving 2

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:20 (seven years ago) link

av club complained about the controls mainly, saying they weren't improved from uncharted 2. the controls in 2 weren't as good as they could have been but they didn't impede my enjoyment of the game, so i'm not worried.

congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:21 (seven years ago) link

ya same here, though i dont LOVE em

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:35 (seven years ago) link

i heard the story is kinda shitty this time around and that it's less a problem of controls and more a problem of agency. a lot of the game is like watching a movie.

Mordy, Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:37 (seven years ago) link

then again, if you've already played one and two and enjoyed them you'll probably enjoy three too.

Mordy, Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:38 (seven years ago) link

lol @ the comments on the harsh-but-fair-seeming honest gamer review


the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:39 (seven years ago) link

*poor thing*

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:40 (seven years ago) link

The series' single collectible currency of random relics that are left lying around the environments remains. However, there's very little sense of achievement or elation when you discover one, those feelings instead overwhelmed by a greater sense of irritation at the trinkets that you have no doubt missed. There is no reason to play the game twice beyond finding these.

^ truth bomb

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:43 (seven years ago) link

thanks for letting me know about honest gamer; think i'll be reading them more often.

google sluething so hard right now (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 2 November 2011 18:49 (seven years ago) link

I'm about halfway through this and it's good but not as good as 2. Verrrry repetitive in spots and the controls are rather creaky.

Production values are A+, but that goes without saying.

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 November 2011 02:06 (seven years ago) link

Anyone want to trade for arkham city when I'm done

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Thursday, 3 November 2011 05:09 (seven years ago) link

I love simon parkin. I go to eurogamer for their reviews because they arent dickwhipped by the big publishers like ign, 1up, kotaku etc.

strongly recommend. unless you're a bitch (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 3 November 2011 18:21 (seven years ago) link

uh oh even Penny Arcade doesn't like it

I mentioned Simon Parkin’s “savage” and “carnivorous” Uncharted 3 review in my last post, and having several hours of the game now under my belt, I suspect it is only a kind of tactical diplomacy that kept it at eight of ten.


Mordy, Friday, 4 November 2011 17:51 (seven years ago) link

so far so unimpressive, i have to say

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, 4 November 2011 18:54 (seven years ago) link

Yeah this was a letdown :-(

The story seemed really half-assed and was mostly a rehash of the previous games, but with a much lesser sense of fun.

av club complained about the controls mainly, saying they weren't improved from uncharted 2.

The controls are almost exactly the same but to me felt less responsive than Uncharted 2, for some reason. I don't remember being nearly as frustrated with the previous game's controls.

latebloomer, Tuesday, 8 November 2011 07:12 (seven years ago) link

yeh there is a patch coming to fix the controls

zappi, Tuesday, 8 November 2011 10:41 (seven years ago) link

oh really? ya, i feel the same way. every time i try to do anything, drake seems to like do a cartwheel

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 15:43 (seven years ago) link

i actualyl dont think the stories of any of these games are particularly good, but the character stuff is pretty likeable.

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 15:44 (seven years ago) link

i also just find it harder and harder to make the kind of disconnect where like, tehre's a cut scene of a tense gun showdown with like two guys pointing guns at him, and then two seconds later drake is taking on 20 guys with grenade launchers

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 15:45 (seven years ago) link

also the weird universe where everyone is like an incredibly gifted parkour genius

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 15:45 (seven years ago) link

i mean i know suspension of disbelief, it just makes it harder for me to be drawn into any actual story

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 15:45 (seven years ago) link

also Drake making with the jokey banter after gunning down 50 guys. The creepy psychopath.

zappi, Tuesday, 8 November 2011 15:54 (seven years ago) link

every time i try to do anything, drake seems to like do a cartwheel

Honestly? This is the first comment that's made me want to play this game.

dense macabre (DJP), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 16:11 (seven years ago) link

hahah. no it's just sometimes O is duck under cover, sometimes it's do a somersault, sometimes its drop to the next level, and it's not always obvious which. and getting onto ladders is annoying, half teh time you do a big dumb jump at the wall instead. and you have to get on a lot of ladders in this game.

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 16:16 (seven years ago) link

nyt review was... what's more than "gushing"?

herbie mann on some gully shit (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 21:38 (seven years ago) link


the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 21:58 (seven years ago) link

close. i need something a little bigger but not quite "jizzing"

herbie mann on some gully shit (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 21:59 (seven years ago) link

what a letdown this game was. just a totally ordinary video game.

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 06:05 (seven years ago) link

also the weird universe where everyone is like an incredibly gifted parkour genius

LOL! I watched my housemate play this last night and I could NOT get this out of my mind, he seemed able to grab onto anything, regardless of how awkward and too-large-for-gripping it was (hello, old wet pipes bigger than one's hand?) I kept getting told to shut up , haha.

And then the whole "AHA! We caught you!" *do some trick, all escape at last minute, go do something else find new clue* "AHA! We caught you again!" *yet another gunfight/last minute escape/slew of dead goons, run off* "AHA THIS TIME WE HAVE YOU NOW"


Trayce, Thursday, 10 November 2011 23:47 (seven years ago) link

I've eaten a lot of mushrooms in my day but not one of them made me grow twice as large, or jump higher.

polyphonic, Thursday, 10 November 2011 23:55 (seven years ago) link

ya but super mario is a totally abstracted universe, one of uncharted's biggest selling points is like REALISTIC CHARACTERS and environments. im actually fine with it, whatever makes the game more fun, but it is a bit silly to see ol' sully bounding from pillar to pillar

what really bugs me is the dumb puzzles and all the moments where you have to wait for your buddy to catch up so you can both turn a lever at the same time. that is not fun.

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, 11 November 2011 00:11 (seven years ago) link


latebloomer, Friday, 11 November 2011 00:49 (seven years ago) link

Slocki otm - I was like "the thing is, this isnt a fantasy world, I cant suspend my disbelief this much" but then again, it was neccesary for the gameplay to be fun, so.

Targetting system is shitty as. Apparently a patch is coming out?

Trayce, Friday, 11 November 2011 00:53 (seven years ago) link

I really wanted more opportunities to go about being stealthy and knocking out guards and bad guys, instead of having to keep shooting down yet another wave of enemies. There were maybe two or three times in the whole game where that was an actual option. The second game was pretty linear, sure, but it seems like there was more variety with the action scenes in Uncharted 2 than in 3.

I guess after 2 the developers figured they had everything down pat so they focused more on the graphics and presentation.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 November 2011 01:08 (seven years ago) link

there were sections that seemed to be like, yeah, sure go ahead and TRY to be stealthy but it's not really designed for that

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, 11 November 2011 01:18 (seven years ago) link

thing is, i felt the graphics/presentation were so much more mems in 2. nothing was the equivalent of the nepal sequence. and the first 1/3 of the game largely taking place in generic steampunk grey/brown tunnels was super lame!

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, 11 November 2011 01:19 (seven years ago) link

yeah it just felt really uninspired all around.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 November 2011 04:20 (seven years ago) link

more like CHARTED

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, 11 November 2011 05:54 (seven years ago) link

nine months pass...

ok so this shit...

the french mansion scene was terrible, something about the pacing seems really off most of the time.. let's swing from chandeliers, OK, the whole place is on fire, OK, yet i'm never scared of it burning down around my ears because that's not how these games work. i can get lost on a level engulfed in flames and run around literally forever looking for the exit with no worry of harm.

an example: in the chateau you have to go up on the second floor to move a piece of wood that's blocking the door you need to get through with sully. he patiently waits at the bottom for you to complete your little task. you move the piece of wood, you can hear him say "great!" or whatever and go through the door. the music starts pounding. now, because it's impossible to tell how far down you can safely drop, you have to backtrack, taking your route in reverse to get back to that door. all this time you CAN'T SEE HIM, and you're stuck doing this mindless thing that we've already seen before. now, in ANY MOVIE, the only reason to be shown this - instead of just cutting to a shot of the two of you bursting through the door - would be to ramp up tension. why are we seeing you backtrack? because you're impatient, you want to get to sully, you don't know what's on the other side of that door - and he's gone through it! oh god - stay calm, keep running, jump down, and on the other side of that door one of two things happen. sully's either being held hostage by the baddie or he's posing for a self-taken photo with an ancient mummy, saying "whaddap" as you breathlessly enter the room. there are all sorts of expectations that movies set you up for that this game hardly ever capitalizes on, or even realizes are being set up in the first place.

the transitions between locations are beyond perfunctory.

things pick up in syria. i actually enjoyed that.

i liked seeing the old flame again, the blonde journalist.

serious anglophilia going on, there's a cut-rate jason statham AND a cut-rate judi dench in this, the latter of whom apparently doesn't know how to pronounce "cartagena" which is strange, given that she apparently operated there. or something. who knows.

i love thrill-ride on-rails adventure games like this (i loved arkham asylum for instance, probably more than city) but ultimately, as has been said in many places, there really is no pay-off for thinking for yourself EVER in this game. just pick up whatever gun the guys drop, it will be exactly the gun you need. don't try to think one step ahead. no matter how fast you solve the brain-meltingly simple puzzles, you WILL be prodded with a hint before you've maneuvered nathan drake into position to actually execute them. it's like being insulted by a cretin.

the firefights are the only areas where you feel any sort of freedom at all, so i tend to love them, though i have been spoiled by arkham's ridiculously good brawling system. did anyone actually succeed at throwing someone, despite the "pub brawl tutorial" at the beginning? i just mash square until i'm told to mash triangle. even so i do like to brawl. i love seeing a dude in full kevlar, helmet and pump-action shotgun walk up to me. i know what's about to happen. i'm about to cold-cock him in the face with my fist. it's better than waiting 5 minutes for my targeting to change while i have the aiming view on. seriously, panning myself to try and track an assailant, like why even bother? i'm mincemeat before i'm even halfway there.

i could do without all the tomb raider type stuff. if they'd kept the scenarios to market towns, hidden passageways in old chateaux, forests, maybe a big boat (?!) i would have liked it a lot more. tired of old dusty blocks that trigger doors, tired of ancient hidden rooms with miraculously lit lamps, tired of the word "brazier", my god

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 25 August 2012 22:30 (seven years ago) link

and like, sully's just memorized an entire ancient constellation map in about 5 seconds? what? feasibility isn't obviously the selling point of a game like this but it's a feat so stupendous that it doesn't even register coherently, no one can do this

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 25 August 2012 22:43 (seven years ago) link

ok i'm playing the boat part now & everything i said was totally worth it for the boat part

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 August 2012 01:27 (seven years ago) link

I wonder how long before the first movie comes out

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Sunday, 26 August 2012 04:15 (seven years ago) link

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