no boys allowed in the room!!!!

I was watching From Hell again the other day and I realized that Johnny Depp really is my platonic ideal of a pretty boy crush. I'm just crossing my fingers that he can manage to age gracefully and avoid plastic surgery so I can carry this crush into Johnny and my shared old age.

This looks recent, no?

http://www.yaare.com/wp-content/themes/gazette/2010/01/Johnny-Depp4.jpg

That works for me. Carry on, Johnny.

I like where this is going, too:

http://images.askmen.com/photos/johnny-depp/85073.jpg

Wait, that's not the one I meant to post, but it will do and also I'm about to be late for work due to posting pictures of Johnny Depp on the internet which is a smidge embarrassing at my age.

haha but he is so very swoonworthy. i usually don't care too much about movie stars, but sometimes they've just got that something, as an artist at the very least, that is attractive beyond their idealized movie stardom. johnny depp is the pinnacle of this imo. also he owns an island.

i think this was posted in the ok-cupid thread (?) but i wanted to post it here for posterity too - it's a good read - http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/1/

I don't know why it took me so long to read that article, despite it's having been posted in a few different places. Many beautiful things in't.

i would actually like to have a discussion about it on a thread, but can't figure out which thread, i mean, there must be one about marriage and being single that suits it.

Robyn, I want to talk about it to. Do you think we need to open it to dudes, or can we do it right here?

there is the 'why aren't women married' thread which is where this article was also posted:
Why aren't women married?

oh okay i didn't see that! thx :)

I followed the hairpin discussion about this article to another hairpin comment about a long-ago letter, and found this quote:

"There is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them. Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life. " - Milton Glaser

I repost it here not because it's only meant for women (obv) or only applicable to romances--the speaker's advice is that you use it for every interpersonal relationship you ever have in your life, which sounds about right--but because sometimes the other dynamics at work in "relationship"-relationships obscure this good-or-bad response that I/we have to the other person, obscure it SO ALMOST-WHOLLY that I can't hear myself.

That test is OTM.

lol I just said this to Laurel offboard but I'm always tired. I love the idea of this test but this might be confusing me for me because how to tell if it's the person or if, you know, I'm just tired! ;) I actually think this is totally otm too.

I think of it more as energized vs enervated.

Good call.

I think we bring out behaviors that are toxic to ourselves to that test, too, so if the same thing happens over and over and the thing that those occurrences have in common is ME, my job if I want to feel better is to start thinking about what's in my tote bag at the ball game. Or...something. Crackerjacks, anyone?

I hadn't seen this before just now but I sort of really want to see this film:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2UZZV3xU6Q

That has Cory Booker interviewed in it and Metric as the soundtrack--wtf did *I* make this movie??!

:)

i did not realize that this was Jennifer Siebel's project! that kinda adds a "twist"

http://www.nataliedee.com/060410/actually-these-are-someone-elses-i-wouldnt-pay-money-for-slacks.jpg

:D

i am wearing a green longsleeved leotard (with a skirt) today
(just needed to put this somewhere)

I needed complete non-engagement with my tv last night so I went with 3 episodes of "Medium", that cop show with Patricia Arquette. As a police procedural...boy, it was a rough first season.

More notable for other qualities, though. First of all, her husband is my kind of hot. Second, it seems like they have a shockingly equitable marriage for tv? I am really enjoying their dynamic.

The Woman Who Bested the Men at Math

That's beautiful! I could picture the announcement scene so clearly!

Very cinematic-sounding, tbh.

Mookie, that's great. I aspire to come up with withering Bathing Establishment-esque comments more often during ridiculous debates.

how is mookieproof posting in this mookieproofproof thread.

mookieproofette

bought Some Kind of Wonderful from the impulse buy movie bin at Walgreens today! will soon thoroughly evaluate the Duncan vs. Keith issue.

Oh man I have not seen that movie for YEARS (read: uh, decades?)--what is Mary Stuart Whatsherface up to for forever now?

i feel like, esp since there is talk of movies, that this needs to go itt :)

http://youtu.be/6xOBSlzUqz0

So I basically sat at my desk with my purse on my lap the entire day because I felt uncomfortable in my new top which is tighter than I would like around.d my middle. It essentially ruined my day. I am so tired of feeling this way and hating myself. Logically I know it's ridiculous but it's been drilled into my head for 30 years and it is so so hard to stop thinking feeling.g this way. Am seriously considering finding a therapist who deals in food/body issues. I am so sad and angry at myself for how much time I've spent dealing with this shit. Every time meet an ILX person I stress for hours about how fat I must have seemed irl. Wtf is that? It is bullshit that's what and yet I fall into this trap time and time again.
Sorry if typos. I'm on a bus.

Uhh instant post regret. It was just a shitty day.

awww! i was gonna post about a related thing yesterday, that facebook is kinda a curse because i don't want to be the friend to say, "hey could you not post that picture? i look horrible in it." when it is a picture of at least four or five people that all look fabulous except for me.

http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1317584051796_8175593.png

Uhhh I have totally done that. I also disabled tagging after Someone tagged me in a pic in which I looked like I was on my 3rd trimester of pregnancy and upon seeing it I actually started crying to the point where I nearly hyperventilated. Yes, I know that isn't normal. :(

Lol Amanda that's fantastic.

i try to think positively about it, but pretty much just come up with:

1. i never thought of myself as particularly "cute" "hot" etc. anyway
2. at least I have friends

i think that has happened to everyone tbh, regardless of size or attractiveness

oh E, i'm sorry you had a shitty day. don't blame your feeling-angry-about-feeling-self-conscious-about-feeling-fat for the day's shittiness though - for all you know it might have been shitty entirely without your input! so you don't have to feel like it was your fault.

I have, i think, set my facebook so that if i am tagged in a picture it just politely forgets that fact for me. because every picture taken of me just makes me feel ugly and upset and but i absolutely hate the conversation that follows when you try to get out of sight of a camera.

it is very hard to apply logic to this stuff on your own, and when you try and talk to friends about it it is easy to ignore whatever they say because as your friends they are duty bound to try and make you feel better. so i think, if it's getting in the way of your feeling like a full human, then you are right to be thinking about taking it to a therapist. surely this is the kind of thing they are for!

haha it's funny cause it's true...
I always tell people to not trust photos + their own judgment - photos are 1/1000 of a second!

I have self-image issues as well - I think most people do considering how we're constantly bombarded by images of a very narrow definition of beauty. Therapy does work if it's the compassionate kind - this is all about living yourself, not beating yourself up and limiting your life unnecessarily. It's work though! Undoing what we've learned.

Most women have tummies! And some have visible abs and some do not! If you don't love your tummy right now, at least know that it's an important part of your body and it exists - hating things away never works, but loving things into change, whatever that night be that reflects you as you, does work.

Sorry for kinda self-help talkin'... But it's true! From experience!

That part abt funny cause it's true was xp to cartoon - I am on my phone!

You're all totally otm and the self-help stuff is good for me to hear because I'm often unfairly dismissive of that sort of thing. I do also think that everyone experiences this to some extent. I'm just really angry and frustrated that I've let myself let it affect my life to the degree that I have. It's seriously incapacitating in some ways. I'm pretty aware of where it stems from and the reasons are many and complicated. It just sucks that identifying why I think this way doesn't really help stop me from doing so. Sorry, just ranting here. Thanks, guys. :)

I actually do think it's kind of a huge deal to be totally aware that your thoughts/actions/rxns about this aren't rational or realistic. I know it doesn't do much to ease the symptoms, but at least a part of you knows that you are not that fat ugly girl you see in your head.

Am seriously considering finding a therapist who deals in food/body issues.

I cannot champion this course of action enough. That shit is SO PERVASIVE and if you had any kind of food/body image inculcation as a kid (and who freaking didn't, really?) it's just way too much to untangle by yourself, I think. And if it makes you feel any better, I had a near nervous breakdown on my one year wedding anniversary because I had planned to wear my wedding dress (just a regular dress) out to dinner and it didn't fit. Totally incapacitating.

But truly: where you are feels terrible (I know, I have felt it, and if I try to talk about it with somebody else who feels that way, I will actually start crying, that is how terrible it feels) but it is surmountable and it's possible to get past it.

Also I still have days that aren't great on the body image front, but that nonstop voice in my head that takes every opportunity to blame every failing on my weight is gone ("Oh, you missed the light trying to cross the street. You probably could have made it if you weren't so fat" for example). It is so fucking liberating and wonderful to not hear that all the time. I want that for all of you!