Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Maybe the sweater had been in storage and was folded poorly? I don't really have any sweaters that can go on hangers, they're all weaves and would have horrible pouches on the shoulders where the hangers had been after being on a hanger all summer.

pr0 tip: spray a little febreeze on it and toss it in the dryer on a low setting for about 20 minutes

You're really supposed to fold sweaters rather than hang them although I do both.

gr8080 stop disseminating our pr0 tips, people are gonna figure us out

(you can also throw a damp washcloth and a dryer sheet into the dryer for the same effect

I am the woman who walked around with mud caking her boots all day today without noticing and I renounce criticism of sweaters.

I quietly reactivated my okc acocunt a while ago and I feel vaguely guilty for having done so. It does say "not really looking" but I find myself surreptitiously deleting the "hey so and so is checking our yr profile" emails just in case guy-i'm-vaguely-dating happenes to look over my shoulder at my gmail.

Which is dumb. Hes the one who wanted to dump me/wont commit to anything solid, why am I feeling bad?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

too late, already threw out all my sweaters : /

*takes breadknife to boots*

It will be a cold winter without sweaters. Or boots.

Laurel, you should date him. I don't think he's your type, but your fashions would complement each other. I've never felt so underdressed in my life.

Short and boring? No, I don't think that's my type, either!

Hm shouldn't have included "short," because, you know, the Irish. But duplicitous, and short with a complex, apparently, if he had to lie about it.

what is the etiquette about responding to messages? it seems a bit rude to not respond at all, but saying 'thanks but no thanks' isn't very pleasant either.

yeah, idk - i often justify non-responses with "well, maybe it's better than just stringing them along, which sends a signal that you're interested when you're actually not"

L., he wasn't boring, he was kind of "wacky." He did have all his hair though. I prefer it when people reply to me and then just let the e-mails peter out; that way I can see for myself that they're not that interesting after all. One person I wrote never wrote back, and I'm convinced it's because he is an eminently fascinating person with much better things to do than e-mail with me. That said, I only write back to people who seem to have connected in some way with something I wrote in my profile; I feel free to ignore the people who seem like they could be writing to anyone.

I had the thought the other day that I don't really trust guys past a certain age who still appear to have all their hair. It means they're either too young for me or they're faking it.

What! Not every dude thins out that much *runs hands through thick, lustrous hair*

what age?

What age am I, or what age is Laurel looking at? I'm 30.

rmde

I'm going to look the exact same at 40, I swear.

*denial

*smdlustroushair

Guys I've never posted on this thread but I just deactivated my old account and started a new one and already regret it.

Don't be hesitant or have misgivings! We have Trayce for that.

It didn't take me long to remember that the whole reason I gave up was a) I get messages from people I haven't messaged first maybe once or twice every two months b) I will get replies to messages I send maybe 1 time out of 10, if that c) in the year and a half that I actively pursued OKCupid I went on three dates and none of them led to anything.

I get really frustrated at the idea of trying to communicate my personality and etc. over what is essentially a web form, and I'm torn between trying to be myself and perhaps quirky and witty or whatever without coming across as trying too hard. It's such a chore and it feels utterly futile, like applying for jobs.

Ugh I already fucking haaate this thing now.

I hate it because I know the men-messaging-women dynamic is different from a women-messaging-men dynamic due to cultural gender relations baggage. Like, are some women actually visiting my profile more than once in a passive attempt to get me to message?

Weird moment today--found a guy who does a conference I'm very interested in here in town, then saw that one of the 5 organizers of the conference is a girl I've messaged & been ignored by.

And these stupid fucking questions--they are so arbitrary!! Are these SERIOUSLY dealbreakers for some people? Like, how the fuck are you supposed to know EXACTLY what type of person is perfect for you? How many wonderful people are you missing bcz you THINK you *must* date someone who loves dogs or some shit?

I solve that problem by not dating anyone who loves dogs.

Yeah, men messaging men just seems hopeless. I'm pretty sure people just look at my pictures and completely ignore the rest of my profile or something.

I don't really trust guys past a certain age who still appear to have all their hair.

boo

i just got msg'ed by someone for the first time in like, three months, but i also haven't been actively pursuing anything on it either

Like, are some women actually visiting my profile more than once in a passive attempt to get me to message?

You noticed!

(I think this guy dyed his hair, but other than that I think his follicles were intact. And now I should stop discussing this poor gentleman on a public forum.)

Don't be hesitant or have misgivings! We have Trayce for that.

What... hey!

Ouch

That is just me prodding you to stop guilting about using the site, and just start using the site btw

Haha yeah, its a fair cop guv.

TBH the main thing putting me off is I wasnt looking at it/using it for quite some time.. I come back and the same guys are still there, still my matches. Thats... depressing.

For them or for you?

Well, both, I suppose.

That's something that prays on my mind whenever I stumble on there again and think of how long I've been hanging about...

I have to confesss seeing someone who's been on there a long time, especially if they have that "no ones messaged them for over a week! give them a shout" caption (god, thats so unhelpful!), it gives me pause. I'm sure I cop the same in reverse *shrug*. I get very few ppl ever messaging me. I'm going to assume its a combo of being 40, and a smoker.

Maybe they... oh hell who am I kidding, they're probably antisocials like myself who barely use the site

thought that said "probably aristocrats like myself"

I get maybe two messages a month that aren't a cookie-cutter opening line. I write to guys occasionally but only if I'm really intrigued - I should be way less picky but I don't like back and forth messaging and usually want to meet fast, so would have to make the time for a lot of dates if I kept initiating things (if they replied!)

xp Mookie - I write back to anyone who sends me a non-ridiculous message, saying 'Thanks for the message - I don't think we'd be a good match but it's always nice to get messages on here. Good luck on the site, we all need it'. Which is true - I need the karma.

I would totally go on a date with heaps of ILXors if y'all werent living in other countries :(

we're all weirdos in real life

also trayce you should date other people don't feel bad

Yeah yr right, I really should. I dont even think the current guy would mind in all honesty, he's p cool like that.