how do i get mormons to leave me alone

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^ The J's Witnesses were like this at Flushing JMZ stop.

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I used to have these Mormon missionaries come by the apartment. They helped explain the prophet flow chart by stacking dixie cups with cut-out's of the prophets on them into a pyramid.

― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

anyway, in response to thread question:

- ask them if that premarital anal sex is really all its cracked up to be
- after noting that their nametags indicate they are "Elders", proceed to refer to them as "Junior"
- ask them if they've ever been shot at while trying to flee the educational compound
- ask to compare their magical underwear with yours

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

possible copycat threads:
how do I get ------ to leave me alone
(morons)
(gorgons)
(marmots)
(mummers)

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra) on Monday, March 14, 2005 8:53 AM (2 years ago)
(momus)

gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra) on Monday, March 14, 2005 8:54 AM (2 years ago)

(island momus)

― andrew m., Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

YOU KNOW WHAT actually, they have a scripture in Doctrine & Covenants that says if you offer you hand to an evil spirit, they won't shake it. Missionarios always start out with the handshake, so once I kept my hand by my side and said, "I'm sorry, I can't shake your hand." They got THE FEAR and immediately left. Exmos know all the tricks!

Alternately you could just send the very clear message, "I am not interested. Please leave and never come back."

― Abbott, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:43 (seventeen years ago) link

"ask to compare their magical underwear with yours "

Seriously, this would just lead to an epic discussion about beliefs, followed by a big lecture. That shit doesn't work. It just annoys them. I hate thje Mormon church & their tactics but these poor boys are working 14-hour days, underfed for the most part,a nd treated to insane brainwashing techniques. So they don't need any more shit from random wiseasses who learned a snippet or two hear and there about their totally fuxored dogma lol.

― Abbott, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:46 (seventeen years ago) link

"join and then quit?"

And this will get them to stalk you endlessly, way more than a potential convert. Jeez louise, you have to take the three-month process of getting your names removed from the records w/big threats of a media stink to get them to leave you alone.

― Abbott, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:47 (seventeen years ago) link

It just annoys them.

I think that was his point.

As for me, I'd just mutter something about the Adam-God doctrine.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:51 (seventeen years ago) link

but these poor boys are working 14-hour days, underfed for the most part,a nd treated to insane brainwashing techniques

That can't be true (except 14 hr days)

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Thursday, 15 March 2007 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

YOU KNOW WHAT actually, they have a scripture in Doctrine & Covenants that says if you offer you hand to an evil spirit, they won't shake it. Missionarios always start out with the handshake, so once I kept my hand by my side and said, "I'm sorry, I can't shake your hand." They got THE FEAR and immediately left.

This is awesome and good to know, thanks.

― marmotwolof, Thursday, 15 March 2007 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Offer them gin?

― Hard like armour, Friday, 16 March 2007 05:08 (seventeen years ago) link

I wish I had a mormon problem. Instead we get door-to-door hippie peace groups around these parts. I'm great at getting rid of religious wackos but not so good with the hippies.

― walterkranz, Friday, 16 March 2007 05:17 (seventeen years ago) link

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