the Artie Lange appreciation thread

yeah, something to the effect of there being no god.

Does anyone have a transcription of his "Murderous bookie on Ash Wednesday" story?

Great story!! I rarely listen but I was lucky enough to catch this little gem. For me, Lange is definitely the Stern's show saving grace.

And to Norm MacDonald: 'You've got a personality like a dead moth. Why don't you get a horse and go live in a cave and don't bother anybody.'

I already have XM in my car, and probably can't afford both systems...

How's the Howard 100 stuff?

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20051216/capt.ny11212160650.sterns_last_day_ny112.jpg?x=380&y=253&sig=3AG4tnYep_84oXyg2ZpUfw--

I'm trying to find a good crowd shot:

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/rids/20051216/i/r3238295892.jpg?x=380&y=253&sig=vBLakpY18t13uOeLKkGBKA--

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/rids/20051216/i/r224359977.jpg?x=380&y=253&sig=hqaWGJuDuW1HifizzDXZjw--

He's going to have to cut his show down to an hour or two due to lack of things to bitch about (and lack of commercials, too, right?).

shit's built into the car(which I have 'til december), and I needs my bob edwards show in the morning(today's subject: MERLE HAGGARD)

this thread makes me want to see dirty work again.

Trivia
Was arrested for attempted robbery. Handed a bank teller a note demanding cash as a goof and walked out. He said that he did it because he thought the teller was really cute.
Was arrested for assaulting a police officer.
Was addicted to cocaine.
Was an alcoholic.
Once dated a prostitute for several weeks.
Stated on February 16, 2006, on air, that he has been with "about fifty" prostitutes. He then said "It's cheaper than a real date".
Once snorted heroin up his nose, mistaking it for cocaine.
Once snorted cocaine off of a key while driving around Los Angeles in a pig costume.
In May of 2004, KLAS TV reported him dead, and everyone believed the story.
One time, Artie was high on angel dust and booze while at a McDonalds, and hassled the manager about how Mayor McCheese was actually a woman. Artie claimed that that was a good thing, because then he could eat her and have sex with her at the same time.
Once while driving, he ate so many Philly cheesesteak sandwiches that he had to pull over and vomit. That night, he tried to have sex with his girlfriend Dana.
One night, he was out on the balcony with his girlfriend, and said "You know what would make this even better? A sausage and peppers sandwich."

Ham
Cheese
Salami
Pepperoni
Scungill
Suppasad
Brezzhout
Gabagool
Fresh muzzadel
Wet muzzadel
Galamad
?
Roasted pepperS
Stuffed peppers
Artichokes
‘Scarole!
Sundried tomatoes
Fresh tomatoes
Broccoli rabe

Haha that Mitch bit is great

? = “pignol nuts”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/artie-langes-halfway-house/id1489428604

xp wow, it's good to see him look so healthy. i was never even a fan, but i like seeing people turn it around.

https://i.imgur.com/JHT1ak0.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/hkY5c0z.jpg

there's nothing as potent as "box of rain" on loaded,

That I’d love to hear

https://i.imgur.com/TVJ1POc.jpg

Hope hes doin OK doin Zoom NA

Love baby gorilla

Felt OK opening the thread this time since the rolling obit thread wasn't updated

Baby gorilla surfaces

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvCS6Dj3ZhA

Another dispatch:

“You can find Arties new podcast, "Letters to Artie", by signing up for free at https://www.thecomicsgym.com/, but I have it right here:”

https://d1s2mr34drfhgh.cloudfront.net/videos/9a66116f0b9b6fb8208da53866b729b0.mp4

More sober talk about recovery.

How’s Artie been doing, anyway? Somebody in Portland tagged “Where is Artie Lange?” on a highway wall

In one of these recent updates he mentioned that after the nose drama ended, he started ramping up the number of appearances etc only to find himself moving too fast. My guess is he’s hiding out in his condo in Hoboken but I have no idea if he’s still on the wagon

God I hope so

Happy to announce that I’ve completed the NJ drug court program. Thx to my family and friends and fans for all your support

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) July 14, 2022

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

― dylannn, Wednesday, April 1, 2015 7:47 AM (two years ago)

― XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxXxxxx (dylannn), Saturday, December 9, 2017 3:06 PM (four years ago)

good to see he's doing well.

"bob levy is basically jeffrey dahmer, if he read a joke book. and, you know, that sounds a little harsh but i love the guy. and, uh, he gets out there on the internet and stalks these women and throws out this web of... deceit and sleaziness and hair dye and bad coke, whiskey beer breath, and cheap fuckin target shirts and coupons for sizzlers two-for-one steak on a wednesday, forty thousand dollar house just outside of philly, which somehow has a built-in pool [gary: it came with the house], have no idea what the fuck that looks like... uhhhh... his poor child who's being raised by a father who's just not there and a mother who hates being with the father... the father's in the basement, it's damp, clearly doesn't have the proper heat or air conditioning, somehow he gets over to this disgusting, jizz-drenched, stinky, whiskey-sodden computer board and types out, 'who's out there? who's out there in fuckin virgin creep land that i can try to fuck with my web of grossness?' and eventually he gets some takers, some poor women who have a background that's clearly, uh... troubling... this girl has father issues, her father is some mad irish drunk and uh [gary: we don't know that] she has dyed black hair...."

― dylannn, Monday, 20 May 2013 18:11 (nine years ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/X6kZoLD.png

This is a clip of Artie telling a story about Norm MacDonald and Matthew Perry to Gilbert Gottfried. Of those 4, only Artie is still with us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kf9D1Sos10