TS: SHOWGIRLS vs. ROAD HOUSE

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This question is like asking which of your children you love the most. I refuse to choose!

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 14:49 (twenty years ago) link

The mullet-count in Roadhouse is through the roof, so that one, natch.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 14:53 (twenty years ago) link

Dudes, the Swayze rules. Therefore Roadhouse. Plus Terry Funk is in it.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 14:54 (twenty years ago) link

Obviously, none of you have had the pleasure of viewing the classic Polish new wave surrealist film Dosta Veild me Kroschka (Old Habits Die Hard) or you wouldn't bother with your bourgois ironic film love. This heartbreaking classic tells the tale of a young strawberry merchant who dreams of becoming the official biographer for a famous novelist, played by beloved Polish actor Ivan Scheerkov (mostly noted for his work on the stage). The use of split screens and fruit-related imagery transcend any technique used in your beloved Showgirls or Roadhouse. I would like to see Patrick Swayze express the complex emotions invoked when a mentor crushes your last strawberry beneath his heel and pushes you into a gutter streaming with sewage, which fades into a speeding river filled by the torrential monsoon rains. I would like to see that indeed!

― Broken Record (brokenrecord), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:03 (twenty years ago) link

Can't I just wish to see Swayze pushed into a gutter streaming with sewage?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:37 (twenty years ago) link

THe 100 year storm didn't kill him, I doubt raw sewage would do it. He'd surf right out of that shit homeslice.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:41 (twenty years ago) link

He's no Kurt Russell...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:41 (twenty years ago) link

roadhouse has bloooze - fuck that!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:47 (twenty years ago) link

Late eighties bloooze at that. The music NOBODY likes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:55 (twenty years ago) link

micheloeb liked it

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:57 (twenty years ago) link

Nobody likes Micheloeb either.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:58 (twenty years ago) link

that's the truth!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 15:59 (twenty years ago) link

Wisdom has been achieved!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:01 (twenty years ago) link

haven't seen roadhouse. but my old flatmate and i used to do the thing that nomi does in a criss-cross over her face. very glam.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:12 (twenty years ago) link

"Pain don't hurt."

― Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:13 (twenty years ago) link

if Swayze was in Roadhouse he would have totally banged her. Then they would have danced off together to "Time of My Life"

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:14 (twenty years ago) link

Interesting mistake there, Chris.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:16 (twenty years ago) link

haha - chris wants to fuck patrick swayze

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:18 (twenty years ago) link

wrong outsider dude

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:18 (twenty years ago) link

grr. ;)

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:19 (twenty years ago) link

pony boy

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:19 (twenty years ago) link

i like Michelob!

― lawrence ks, Wednesday, 12 November 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link

two months pass...

In light of the existence of the Roadhouse musical, I think the question has been definitively answered.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 January 2004 07:19 (twenty years ago) link

This is like TS: Iron Pole vs. Iron Pole.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 07:23 (twenty years ago) link

more like TS: getting hit in the back of the head with brass knuckles vs. getting hit in the back of the head with a tire iron

― Dave M. (rotten03), Thursday, 15 January 2004 08:40 (twenty years ago) link

Those last two posts were like... well, you know.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 15 January 2004 09:49 (twenty years ago) link

roadhouse, just gotta be!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 15 January 2004 09:52 (twenty years ago) link

Roadhouse, for the line, "Pain don't hurt."
Also, it was directed by a man named Rowdy Harrington.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 15 January 2004 09:55 (twenty years ago) link

Well I think that settles it!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 15 January 2004 09:58 (twenty years ago) link

haha kitsch is funny

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:40 (twenty years ago) link

This thread is the ilx equivalent of that scene in all those Lifetime movies where the little kid has to choose between living with mommy or daddy. You're all bastards.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty years ago) link

If anybody has any idea what I might have meant by that drunken "Iron Pole" post up there, please to shed some light eh?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:32 (twenty years ago) link

One movie would hit people with the iron pole, the other one would circumvent one with its snatch?

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:39 (twenty years ago) link

circumnavigate?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:41 (twenty years ago) link

circumencroach? circumencrotch?

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:43 (twenty years ago) link

circumnavigate's probably the most "right," but the dictionary's definition of circumvent as "To surround, enclose or entrap" makes me giddy in this context.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 15 January 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.nativafm.com.br/letras/swayze.gif

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 15 January 2004 15:03 (twenty years ago) link

No one from Saved By The Bell got naked in Roadhouse, so the winner is clearly Showgirls.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 15 January 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago) link

I still stand by BARB WIRE, especially now that I've seen Roadhouse.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 15 January 2004 22:44 (twenty years ago) link

nine months pass...

In celebration of this thread's almost anniversary. Thanks to the good Mr. Chaki, I was able to pick up that ridiculous Showgirls special edition box set for hypercheap. But will Roadhouse ever have a special edition packaged with a mullet and black T-shirt?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 November 2004 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

and a pair of cowboy boots with a secret blade in the toe.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 11 November 2004 17:30 (nineteen years ago) link

AW YEAH

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 November 2004 17:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually a Showgirls musical would be a logical endpoint of something. But so would a Roadhouse videogame set in the GTA universe.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 November 2004 17:32 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...

I took part in a Showgirls blog orgy this morning. Bump and grind.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 12 January 2006 03:35 (eighteen years ago) link

having watched it last saturday, this pundit selects... SHOWGIRLS.

― chocolate orgone accumulator (haitch), Thursday, 12 January 2006 03:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Swayze as Zen Bouncer. This must be homage to Dalai Seagal. Plus, the bad guys drive a monster truck. You can't fuck with this!

And I love the scene where that one dude is about to touch up that chick, and her Daddy says 'You can kiss 'em for 20!' in the hickiest voice ever. I use to say that line a lot.

― Mestema (davidcorp), Thursday, 12 January 2006 12:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I've never bothered with either, as I like, y'know, good movies. Unless they're transcendent, stylish botches like Ed Wood's or Oscar Micheaux's, which I guess means I need to try Showgirls at some point. Sam Elliott's presence suggests Road House (which I've seen a few scenes of on TBS and heard Tom Servo sing about) isn't worthless enough.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 January 2006 14:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I still haven't seen either of these movies!

― Dan (Baffling) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 12 January 2006 14:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Whoa. I think I know what I'm bringing with me when I visit in April.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 January 2006 15:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Morbius, you need to try Showgirls. Really, if there is a definition of "transcendent botch" it's Showgirls.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 12 January 2006 15:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 455 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

See now I'm trying to imagine an exploding boat chase on the lake in the original, which is really the only thing it lacks.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:12 (two months ago) link

is Jake nude in it

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:14 (two months ago) link

Why did I know this news would bring you here. Anyway about these road houses in the Keys.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:32 (two months ago) link

Does Bonamassa play the Jeff Healey part?

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:38 (two months ago) link

Also: Here's to hoping that Amazon/MGM also greenlights a similar reboot of Taffin.

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:44 (two months ago) link

Lukas Gage and Billy Magnussen in the same movie, I feel like they must go out for the same roles a lot

― Jordan s/t (Jordan), Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:48 (two months ago) link

I like Jake, but I suspect, just as Adam Sandler chooses projects based on where he wants to vacation, Jake always has something lined up that will pay for a personal trainer.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:48 (two months ago) link

lol

― Jordan s/t (Jordan), Thursday, 25 January 2024 20:54 (two months ago) link

noted piece of shit Conor McGregor being in this kills a lot of the appeal.

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 25 January 2024 21:04 (two months ago) link

Not if we get to see him getting the shit kicked out of him

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 25 January 2024 22:12 (two months ago) link

Yeah, his equivalent in the original movie gets his throat torn out by Patrick Swayze, so that's worth seeing at least.

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Thursday, 25 January 2024 22:14 (two months ago) link

Swayze was nude in the original (but not in the throat-ripping-out scene)

― the absence of bikes (f. hazel), Friday, 26 January 2024 05:39 (two months ago) link

Conor McGregor, really? Whose dumb idea was that?

― omar little, Saturday, 27 January 2024 15:30 (two months ago) link

They thought he'd be perfect for the role bc of the sexual assault allegations, random sucker punching of random people who offend him, anti-immigration comments, etc?

― omar little, Saturday, 27 January 2024 15:32 (two months ago) link

They sold it to him as a documentary

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 27 January 2024 15:40 (two months ago) link

See Conor part of method acting as we have to beat the shit out of you for real

― omar little, Saturday, 27 January 2024 15:50 (two months ago) link

(*is)

― omar little, Saturday, 27 January 2024 15:50 (two months ago) link

Mystified by this sudden convergence of reactionary politics and Hollywood action movies

― Boris Yitsbin (wins), Saturday, 27 January 2024 16:00 (two months ago) link

Fun fact: Doug Liman's dad served as the chief counsel for both the New York state commission for the Attica Prison riot and the investigation of the Iran-Contra Affair.

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 27 January 2024 17:02 (two months ago) link

Mystified by this sudden convergence of reactionary politics and Hollywood action movies

Was gonna say, yeah, in what world does a Roadhouse remake NOT cast a Connor McGregor?

― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Sunday, 28 January 2024 04:03 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Forget this reboot, I want a documentary on the backstory:

https://variety.com/2024/film/news/road-house-remake-drama-verbal-abuse-distribution-plans-jake-gyllenhaal-1235909744/

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 15 February 2024 00:33 (two months ago) link

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