Mowing lawns

You have failed to take adequate prophylatic measures against this sort of thing happening to you. I, as I do, you lived at the rubbish tip instead of some neighborhood filled with lawns, the only sound you would hear would be the soothing roar of the caterpillar tractors, as they playfully push the trash hither and thither, in hopes of finding a bloated carcass to explode.

If, as I do...

It's all I can do at present to supress a full-on snit, but I shall soldier on with a suitably stiff superior labia.

Note to self.... never google unfamiliar words while at work.....full-on....wow!