Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

"Oh man, sometimes I wonder how artists back in the day managed to produce art for superhero comics in schedule, month after month. Shouldn't it be easier to do now than back then, now that hey have computers to help? So what has changed? Has the artists' work ethic lowered? Have Marvel's and DC's employer policies become less strict?"

I think in the old days they got paid by the page, so they just sat down and blasted the stuff out and had the will to make it happen. I think those golden age guys were also tempered by living through the depression and WWII, so they had a real blue collar, I got to get this done for the family mentality. And I think some of them, because they just did so much volume over the years got to the point they could layout and do pages at speeds many of these modern guys can't comprehend as they haven't put out 30-80 pages a month on and off for years.

I'd bet Joe Kubert in his prime probably did more pages in a couple of months than his sons do in a year. It isn't nearly as flashy in the backgrounds but the reproduction values have changed since then, so that doing all that extra detail would just get lost anyway, so they never got much.

One thing that is different is I don't think you have as many studios with assistants going now. I think alot of things that were inked that have one guy on them back in the day was probably one main guy doing the characters and a couple of employees that would do backgrounds and other items. I'm not sure you have that going on as much now as you would in the old days, maybe more overseas perhaps.

I think in the old days they got paid by the page

as opposed to?

Batman #1 W: Scott Snyder P: Greg Capullo I: Jonathon Glapion

No pics as I can't find a working t0rr3nt

Another week, another Bat-book, and this is probably the weakest yet. I guess the heart of the problem is a very basic one - when this many established books are running it isn't a problem as all their stories are different and their plots are in different places, but when you start the same book multiple times with different people telling THE SAME ORIGIN STORY it's inevitable you'll want to compare them.

So, why is this worse? It's hard to put your finger on, but maybe the centre panel of Page 14 goes some of the way to explain it: it features Dick, Bruce, Damian and Tim standing together. Dick, let's not forget, is Nightwang WHO HAS HIS OWN BOOK IN THE RELAUNCH. His physique is roughly like Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter. I can't wait to read that book (also this week) and see him standing at about 5'6" tall and weighing about 10st. OH NO WAIT. I think it's down, in part, to the manga-lite art style but I could just be burning out through putting myself through this.

Maybe I'm being to hard on this and misremembering just how mediocre Batman & Robin was, as flipping back through the plot is actually pretty engaging in the last four or 5 pages after Harvey Dent turns up. I think I probably need a re-read comparison of all the Batbooks once Month One is over as the final pages have actually got me keen to read #2 and this might be the first time I can say it about a non-FUN book in the relaunch (or at least the first time it's specifically because of the plot).

Birds Of Prey #1 W: Duane Swierczynski A: Jesus Saiz

Title promises a team title, but by the end we still only have a pairing. Now there's a slow build or there's the glacial pace this seems to be constructed at. Nothing much seems to happen except a WOW KEWL WOW kerfuffle in a church which seems to exist mainly to delivery zingy dialogue like this:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6159/6177843718_b5d4b0a44c.jpg

And you know, it's pretty much all that clunky. The image above is really the first in which everybody changes places and perspective in a car to suit the composition (including one panel where I can't get to grips with the perspective at all) but really exists to segue into Starling in the same position, in a diner (and/or a bar) at a different time. Now this might have been a nice effect (albeit the second time they pull it in this issue) but this one os spoiled by an advert being in the middle - not the best planning really. And when I said clunky, I did mean it - there's some real confusion about the effect the bad guys have had on Black Canary during the FITE, but her power is worse:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6180/6177843770_bae412df6f.jpg

So the power level has been re-baselined in the Johns Universe, but if it's that good then why only use it once? She walks out of this panel into a room with more bad guys in it - so why not use it again? Not doing so makes the pages smack of filler as they just run through the same thing again, and surely in #1 of a title filler is a CRAZY thing to do?

The best thing about the book is this panel, which captures perfectly how I feel about the Johns Universe by now.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6175/6177316117_34aa065fc7.jpg

Why, that I won't be so keen next time. This could arguably be saveable as I don't hate it, but it's hovering over the cut list at the moment.

Blue Beetle W: Tony Bedard P: Ig Guara I: Ruy Jose

Is this racist? I can't tell. If a Puerto Rican guy writes a comic book character who is Puerto Rican for non-Hispanics (as we must assume this is to a degree - something I will touch further on when I get to Red Hood) as a ridiculous stereotype, what does that make him, an Uncle Tom of sorts? Oh and it's not just Hispanic, there's some comedy writing of French and German speakers too in a sub-Batroc style.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6163/6177935238_6f76ac0e85.jpg

Anyway, this is plotted in the Johns Universe as follows: The Reach are foes of the GLC from since BEFORE TIME and massively powerful - planet-wiping-out powerful. But the GLC are too stupid to find, control or destroy them.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6165/6177935288_5a29e1e3bc.jpg

The great and mighty Abin Sur didn't find that then, did he. So, this is going to become yet another Green Lantern book, of sorts. On the second last page our hero gets turned into Blue Beetle and it's impossible to read the dialogue on the final splash as anything more than a triumphant "TA-DA!" (except we know it's not from earlier).

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6152/6177408213_6e9d9f463d_z.jpg

ETHNICS gets would back (this isn't, and never will be, Love & Rockets) but I miss Ted Kord. I want him back. BACK, DO YOU HEAR ME?

Captain Atom W: JT Krul A: Freddie Williams II

JT Krul again. What have I done to deserve this?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6178/6178041052_8b0c536c2e_z.jpg

I'd love to be able to tell you this is better than Green Arrow (which he's already been kicked off, remember). Unfortunately, I can't.

I mean, look at this dialogue:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6164/6178041056_1227d78cf1_z.jpg

Despite that, I think I hate the art more than I hate the writing. Let's watch Captain Atom run though the gamut of facial emotions (a couple of which I'll leave the explanation in for):

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6168/6178041048_843f038e3f_b.jpg

Centre top, for reference, is anger. Yes, anger. Not vacant.

The back end of the plot begins to look like it's going down the route of War of the Elementals from the end of the John Ostrander run on Firestorm, but really I couldn't care less. Vile vile vile vile vile. Already on the cut list and have absolutely no desire to get beyond #1 (but I'll go to #3, obviously).

Catwoman #1 W: Judd Winick A: Guillem March

You know what? I'm not going to focus on any of the sexism in this book that other people have focused on for two reasons. Firstly, I'll save it all for Red Hood. Secondly, Winick ALMOST manages to make it enough of a plot point that it's justifiable. Yes, we could argue about the presentation - particularly the last panel of page 2 which is quite frankly pornographic - but it's nowhere near the worst thing about this book so I'm not going to dwell on it.

Winick's writing is, dare I say it, not horrible. I was a fan of the Brubaker and Pfeifer runs on the book though, so it's still the worst Catwoman book in modern memory. What is wrong with this is the art.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6169/6178172008_c4d46a3e34.jpg

And the worst thing about the art isn't even the faces. It's the feet. At least twice they're reversed where the left foot is the right foot and vice versa (top left has a bonus knee bending the wrong way). Have some examples:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6172/6177645789_0e93f734e5_z.jpg

The worst Winicking and worst art come togther at the end. Catwoman and Batman doing the nasty is an established trope, I guess, but this astonishingly ineptly handled and featured a final panel which is worse than 80% of fanart on the same topic.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6155/6177645551_84e88cd99f_b.jpg

Holy Bat-Cock, Batman! My eyes need bleach. Wtf is happening with bat-torso? And nothing has been good yet this week. FUCK YOU DIDIO.

so i don't really want to read that but i am curious about

Yes, we could argue about the presentation - particularly the last panel of page 2 which is quite frankly pornographic - but it's nowhere near the worst thing about this book so I'm not going to dwell on it.

Ok, since I still have the rar live:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6153/6178192906_2a6d952f2a_z.jpg

I mean, seriously? Without going nsfw, there isn't a comparison pic but this is classic 'fuck me from behind' porn stylings. Do we really need to see her pudenda? If we going for physical accuracy at this point to justify it, why not go the whole hog and show her vagina lips? It's just wrong in so many ways.

tbh, i think the most egregious thing about that panel is that human beings don't look/move like that. it looks like she has two balloons in the back pockets of her pants.

DC Universe Presents: Deadman #1 Collective credit: Paul Juankins and Bernard Chang

The best thing so far in this rundown, which is no great claim. It kind of works as a Deadman establishing story, however, the character has already been in Hawk & Dove by now as the post-Brightest Day version so we know this book must happen at some time in the past - what's the beeting it doesn't? ARG CONTINUITY IS CRISIS

It's tidily enough written I suppose and is a clear enough Secret Origin for people who aren't familiar with the origin of Deadman. I also don't hate the art. Both of them give me reason to though - I feel bruised by the strength with which the DO YOU SEE from this panel hits me.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6172/6177714915_80ae1457db_z.jpg

Ultimately though there's nothing to really complain about. The lack of anything actually good will have to wait, but this week I'm taking whatever I can get.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DWrDd6C4itY/TlkQiPSJHQI/AAAAAAAAC4o/VPmQoYVyrtI/s1600/whatever%2Bfacebook.jpg

Mordy, if I told you that was in fact one of the most realistic depictions of human form and motion in that issue you wouldn't believe me, but you should. Because it's true.

based on your review i wasn't going to bother checking out Batman #1 but then i read hannibal tabu's glowing words about it and tho i almost always disagree w/ him (he tends to severely underrate Grant Morrison + X-titles and he likes a lot of shit and encyclopedia type bullshit I'm not interested in) when someone writes the following, no matter who the someone is, I'm interested:

"There's no place like home..." Batman wistfully whispers these words as he faces off against virtually the entire populace of Arkham Asylum, feeling so comfortable in his work that he almost makes it look easy. The extended Bat family is introduced very smartly and this, quite honestly, is an almost perfect comic book. New readers? Covered. Long time fans? Tons of in jokes, just for you. Art? Greg Capullo, Jonathan Glapion and FCO Plascencia are on freaking fire. Scott Snyder's script purrs like an Italian performance sportscar -- when you toss in the wonderful back and forth between "the boys" and Bruce Wayne's inspirational speech (combined with his underhanded plan to expand the reach of the Bat), reading this is a delight. In a word: wow. This is the Batman you want to read. Just... wow.

As I kind of talked myself around to, it's actually much better than I thought it was while I was writing - I think. Still think the art sucks though ymmv but there is no excuse for the Nightwang looks like he's a skinny 15 year old thing.

Otoh, this may be because nearly everything this week was an absolute sack of shit and it just glistens like a bit of sweetcorn that a dog ate once.

Green Lantern Corps #1 W: Peter J Tomasi A: Fernando Pasarin I: Scott Hanna

A Foamasi wrote this book? Cool! Let's all head off for Argolis!

http://images.wikia.com/tardis/images/a/a6/St--5n04foamasi.jpg

No, it's our old friend Peter Tomasi again. Don't worry, I can't think of any other comical mispronunciations of his name so this will probably be the last one.

MAHNKELIPS COVER WARNING - actual comics contains no Doug Mahnke and only four of the characters on the cover. Which is nice.

I actually quite like this. It's by far the most traditional book of the relaunch (GLs turn up on planet where random genocide has taken place to attract their attention must have been done dozens of times before) but is pulled off pretty well. The establishing stuff with Guy Gardner and his interview (or rather the sequence in the waiting room before it) is, dare I say it, a joy and really lifts the book in a way most others in the relaunch (particularly this week) fail to.

Nothing really to say about it other than you should give this a shot, as on this evidence it's worth sticking with.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6158/6180575593_2e70ec14e1_b.jpg

Legion of Super-Heroes W: Paul Levitz A: Francis Portela

I'll stan for LoSH any day, but seriously, this could have been published at any point from 1980 onwards. If you like LoSH you'll like this. If you don't then WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. It's got crap jokes, a great team dynamic and a vaguely engaging plot. Vaguely engaging doesn't sound like a good thing but in LoSH it kind of is. As in Legion Lost you just get carried along with the swing of the thing and go with it.

Am I a fanboy?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6167/6181144050_04889c4341.jpg

Yes, yes I am a fanboy. I suspect if you're not you won't like this. I DON'T CARE.

Nightwing #1 W: Kyle Higgins P: Eddy Barrows I: JP Mayer

Oh, KyleHigginspaws. So let me get this straight - in the five years since Batman appeared (according to Justice League) Dick's parents have died, he's become Bruce's ward and been both Robin and Batman? This new continuity thing isn't really working for you, is it. Also, get one Urban Dictionary:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6162/6180694167_87a8bee377.jpg

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catcher

FRED WERTHAM WAS RIGHT!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/77/Batbed.png

Quibbles apart, this is a really solid Batbook. The scripting is sound while being slightly GRITTY and the art has a real fluidity to it that you need for the sort of motion that's trying to be captured here. Yes, it pulls the old 'repeat the image in the same panel to show movement' trick but is that really a problem? Worth reading, worth staying with for now.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6170/6181217120_747e441fa6_z.jpg

I'm apprehensive to, because I know what's up next. But here we go...

Red Hood and the Outlaws #1 W: Scott Lobdell A: Kenneth Rocafort

Oh boy. This is the post where I admit that although I think his whole schtick about the way women are portrayed in comics is far too broadbrush and simplistic, just this once I ABSOLUTELY see where he's coming from.

This is a horrible, HORRIBLE piece of misogynistic crap. Starfire is in it for no reason other than to provide a teenage boy's wank fantasy on every page she appears, and is contorted into ridiculous poses to push her tits or arse into the reader's face - because let's face it, she has to be posing for somebody, right? I mean, wtf is this about?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6152/6180775895_40b94f8cdd_z.jpg

I tell a lie, she is there for another reason - to have sex with the main characters.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6173/6181277628_fe57e8861a_z.jpg

In fact, it's established she's had sex with nearly everybody in the DCU, but that's OK because "Tamaraneans don't see humans as much humans as much more than sights and smells." So basically, casual sex is the order of the day and you're just a conquest she can't recall as part of an animal process. "You don't remember anyone named Dick?" "No."

Lobdell has gone for Deadpool Max with the script and very nearly pulls it off, but I just feel dirty and appalled by the whole thing. I really don't want to touch any of the rest of these, but know I'll be drawn back like a car crash. You all NEED to read this, just to show you how wrong it's possible to get things.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6164/6181277540_cf7a694db2_z.jpg

No, you're confusing that with you being a giant bell-end, Scott Lobdell. I want lettuce in my refrigerator, not women.

Just to ram the above point home (as it were), Scott Lobdell is interviewed in the back of every book published this week. He's asked what his favourite page is in the issue and this is his choice:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6163/6180754167_246071de91_z.jpg

Not one with snappy dialogue, not one that drives the plot forward, not one with a good joke, but one you can have a nice relaxing wank over.

"Kori just stepping out of the ocean, just basking in the sunshine. I love the joy on her face. The people of this planet may not want here here.. but God, how she loves this place." Joy? Where? Go and wash your hands, you pervert.

Supergirl #1 W: Michael Green/Mike Johnson P: Mahmud Asrar I: "Dan Green with Asrar"

There have been some weird costumes in the reboot, but none to compare to this. Seriously, wtf if going on with these boots?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6155/6180830995_8dcbec4571_z.jpg

In a world where Superman now has kneepads (presumably because he needs them), Supergirl's boots deliberately avoid knee protection? It's probably something to do with female Kryptonian skin being toghter than the men's in various places, and when it's revealed that Superman also wears a chest-plate then Power Girl's costume will finally make sense.

http://www.comicsbulletin.com/features/images/100915/pgbust.jpg

I guess this is a typical LOST ALIUM DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON OH NOES intro story and I don't hate it. I don't particularly like it either, but there isn't anything individual enough about the story to judge it as yet.

http://www.abcpastor.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/whats-next.jpg

holy shit how many boobs, DC? how many boobs??

Wonder Woman #1 W: Brian Azzarello A: Cliff Chiang

Aldo's book of the week, in an admittedly pretty shitty week but that doesn't mean this isn't any good

I read an interview with Brian Azzarello before this started where he said we had to think of his version of Wonder Woman as a horror book and not a hero book. Now I was no fan of his Hellblazer run, so this worried me, but you know what? I GET IT completely.

Show me a regular hero book where people cut the heads off horses to make centaurs. YOU CAN'T, CAN YOU?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6155/6181406702_3ebceb4125_z.jpg

This is a fantastically worked piece of fiction, reconstructing the Gods of Olympus as the fantastic creatures they SHOULD be - I mean, Zeus convinced Leda to have sex with him by disguising himself as a swan. A SWAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. So in this book we have Hermes looking more like a winged messenger than anyone's ever captured him before, and expressions of raw, unbridled power.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6165/6181406908_a8531cab94_z.jpg

I didn't like the cover, thought it was too stylised, but over the course of the book the art really grows on you. Yes, there are arguably similarities with Guy Arcudi and some of the other Hellboy universe artists but Cliff Chiang pulls it off really well.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6154/6181406840_491e580b49_z.jpg

BUY THIS BOOK. I can't stress it enough. The highlight of the relaunch. Bet it gets cancelled soon.

http://papercutz.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/img_1106-225x300.jpg

"I love the joy on his face. The people of this planet may not want him here..."

Comic Book Resources has a good recap of the thing, including the Catwoman softcore
http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2011/09/dcs-push-for-the-new-52-this-is-a-catwoman-for-2011/

but it's best summed up in this webcomic
http://i.imgur.com/VBZqw.png

on one hand it is kinda gross, especially for books that are supposed to be for kids and mainstream audiences. otoh, i find it kinda hilarious

apparently this was the original illustration before, i guess, DC forced them to change it http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/red-hood-outlaws-original.jpg

um, is her nipple shaped like a heart?

haha, clever way to "deflect" i guess..

i can't make my nipple into a heart

Haha, that's awesome.

wtf is wrong with these people?

http://emmetreads.tumblr.com/post/9552604527/if-youve-read-his-work-youll-know-what-im-talking

If you want to write good superhero comics, please do more than read superhero comics and play videogames.

So very otm.

Given this new information, I have to express some disappointment at the relative dearth of characters turning one another into babies in Geoff Johns books.

Thank you for the OMAC rec, I wasn't going to get it originally and ended up enjoying it--a good romp! I hope you survive this week, there were some real pieces of poop. :(

UPDATES:

David Finch failed to get even the first issue of The Dark Knight out with the solicited credits, and Paul Jenkins is writing.*

George Perez gone from Superman as writer/layouts with issue #7, replaced by the Giffen/Jurgens writing/pencilling team that also replaced the Green Arrow writer.

*I actually remembered to pick it up and check the credits for this thread, while in the shop buying Love & Rockets, Roger Langridge's Snarked, and Simpsons comics by Evan Dorkin and Ty Templeton

I fully expect Giffen/Jurgens to be producing 80% of DC Comics by next summer.

All Star Western #1 W: Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti A: Moritat

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I was buying Jonah Hex up till the end, and for one simple reason - it was the most consistently good books that DC were publishing. And so it is with All Star Western, which is the same book retitled, for better or worse. As before, the artists rotate with each minor storyline but the writing core is constant.

So, to the plot.

http://cdn.comicartfans.com/Images/Category_2044/subcat_6119/Mignola%20Gotham%20by%20Gaslight%20promo.jpg

I'm being unfair. But it's not hard to draw comparisons, especially (arguably) as Gotham By Gaslight was retconned out of Elseworlds and into the DCU during Countdown.

Putting that aside, this is as well written as ever and is thoroughly recommended to all. The relationship between Amadeus Arkham and Jonah is superbly done and if this panel isn't leading up to a Lovecraftian reveal in future weeks I will be really disappointed:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6155/6200275478_7bfe96651c_z.jpg

It's not all future seeding either, the plot actually in the issue in hand bowls along splendidly and damn, if this isn't the most thrilling panel all week:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6143/6199763737_a32a705fc3.jpg

See you next time. You should be reading this book (but then you should have been reading it before).

Aquaman #1 W: Geoff Johns P: Ivan Reis I: Joe Prado

In an amazing twist of fate, not only is Aquaman my MUST BUY book this week but a fucking GEOFF JOHNS BOOK is my Must Buy book this week

No pictures, t0rr3nt is fuxored.

Seriously, I'm not kidding. This is great. There's an extended story running through the middle about how Aquaman is the laughing stock of, basically, the world and the whole sequence with Aquaman in the fish restraurant is frankly hilarious. I'm not sure about how good The Trench will be as a Big Bad, as they look all a bit too Johnsy, but (and this is a big shout) the middle 2/3 of the book is as good as this:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6180/6199783817_ccd4344004_z.jpg
http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6030/6199784635_947026109f_z.jpg

Stranger things have happened, but I'm struggling to think of one. Superb.

David Finch's Batman The Dark Knight#1 W: Paul Jenkins P: David Finch I: Richard Friend

WELL AT LEAST IT CAME OUT.

And talking of coming out...

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6174/6199763827_1b5dce97d1.jpg

Holy Dancehall Slang, Batman! The Gay Agendar strikes again! Is there some kind of subversive plot at DC to play up the homosexual subtext in all the Batbooks? I really can't tell any more.

Anyway, the last Batbook of the relaunch is pretty standard fare although the conclusion is pretty great. What isn't so great, or indeed understandable, is why DiDio (and we must presume Johns) place so much faith in the talents of David Finch's Batman The Dark Knight's David Finch to produce work on time or even why they rate him. I mean he's not so much touched by the hand of Jim Lee as rubbed all over by the hand of Jim Lee sufficiently hard that the fingerprints have disappeared and they share DNA. Take this as an example:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6156/6199763771_551d4c8cd7_z.jpg

But that isn't even the worst of it. This page shows some of the worst anatomy since the relaunch. HIS CALF IS BIGGER THAN HIS THIGH.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6155/6199763803_57d24e0de6_z.jpg

Yes. Yes that's exactly the quality of artist that you should make the focus of the New DC. FUCK YOU DIDIO.

(Despite the art, I liked this.)

Blackhawks #1 W: Mike Costa Layouts: Graham Nolan Finisher: Ken Lashley

This is far and away the most traditional 'modern' book of the relaunch - it could be any one of dozens of mid-90s team books - but it's as entertaining now as it would have been at the time.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6159/6199933119_d1ee6d6130.jpg

It's kind of odd though, it feels old and still quite new. There's a kind of clumsy feel to the updating that's gone on, and it wants to be a Cold War plot in places.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6178/6200445912_7384eb7530.jpg

They have spies everywhere though - they can even see me doing this!

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6135/6200445964_c43e200891.jpg

I can't really think of anything to add as this is such a nothing book. We'll wait and see how the next couple of months pan out, but this is hovering over the precipice of being cut.

The Flash #1 W: Francis Manapul & Brian Buccellato A: Francis Manapul

In a bizarre turn of events, more than one book this month has made me think of the two Bizarro hardbacks, and for this one it's this story:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6168/6200506869_e4b2c9bab9_z.jpg

OK, there's more JRJr in this book, but am I the only one that sees it in the layouts?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6161/6201020878_227154189f_z.jpg

Given that this is supposed to be the Barry Allen Universe I kind of expected something different, like for him to have remembered himself to be fantastically rich or something as well as being the Flash because that's kind of what we'd all do I think. And part of it feels ripped off from Portal: No Escape:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4drucg1A6Xk

Anyhoo, the setup is good, the plot rattles along and the cliffhanger leaves you wanting to read the next issue straight away - which can't be a bad thing.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6165/6200509529_2a989e0e85_z.jpg

Nothing to criticise here really although perhaps not that memorable. But then he is the FASTEST MAN ALIVE so maybe we shouldn't be surprised that it's a speedy read.

The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men #1 W: Ethan van Sciver & Gail Simone A: Yildiray Cinar

I used to love Firestorm back when I was younger and held high hopes for this, given it's being written by the closest they have to A-list talent, but the reality doesn't nearly meet up to expectations. The terrorist plot is far too violent for the rest of the book, and the whole idea of having two of them seems to just be to encourage childish taunts

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6174/6200576907_16e9a4b7b6_z.jpg

and to make it DC's OMG RACISTS ARE RACIST AND YOU ARE ALL RACISTS DO YOU SEE!!1!!ELEVEN! book of the week.

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So whereas it's not as awful as, say, either of the JT Krul books it's not actually much cop either. I think we need to see where the Fury plot goes in #2 before making judgement.

Green Lantern New Guardians #1 W: Tony Bedard P: Tyler Kirkham I: Batt

I don't know what Tony Bedard has done to deserve this, but he has the unenviable task of INTRODUCING Kyle Rayner as a new character and integrating him into the Johns GL Universe. I mean, how does that even work? Everything from GL over the past 10 years or so all happened EXCEPT Kyle Rayner being a Lantern? GEOFF JOHNS I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU (except when you're writing Aquaman) but I HATE DIDIO MORE (except when he's writing OMAC).

So, we're now in the position where we're supposed to remember everything from recent continuity, even the stuff Barry Allen could never have known about, except when we're not. OR ARE WE? What we really need here is some kind of editor, preferably somebody who has a lot of experience as one - maybe they're Executive Editor of a company or something - to oversee the whole thing and make sure it makes sense... OH WAIT. So fair play to Tony Bedard then, who sends a firm message to Johns and DiDio:

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He even takes time out to slag off the bag of shit he's been given.

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DESPITE THIS, HE HAS PROBABLY PRODUCED THE BEST GL BOOK OF THE REBOOT. It's cute and funny and has a plot and is FUN although the art really does bite JRJr:

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Still, A for effort, one and a half thumbs up.

So there's no Green Lantern Corps comic in the rebooted universe? Fuck that shit, the only reason I cared about the new Green Lantern stuff was GLC. The alien Green Lanterns were much more interesting than the human ones, except for Guy Gardner (who was prominent in GLC).

Yes, there's a Green Lantern Corps comic, it was published last week and see what I said about it upthread.

I, Vampire #1 W: Joshua Hale Fialkov A: Andrea Sorrentino

Obscure? A character who ran for 24 issues as a third backup story in an anthology book?

Well, from what history exists it's pretty clear this is entirely within the established continuity of I, Vampire just rebooted into (possibly) the current day. But that and daft names aside (Mary Queen of Blood is just STUPID) this is a lovely, lovely piece of work.

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The story tells the interlinked story of Andrew (the titular hero) and Mary and Andrew's fight against the army of vampires. It arguably doesn't move nearly fast enough for your bog standard hero comic, or indeed for a Buffy or Twilight reader/viewer if it was hoping to bring them in, but the pace is just fine for me thanks and is sufficiently plotted that panels like this work perfectly:

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As you might have guessed from the above, this book is gorgeous. It guess it's most reminiscent of Moonshadow, but I think I can see P Craig Russell in there as well. And Mignola and/or Guy Davis to a degree. But a triumph nonetheless.

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This is exactly the sort of venture we should be rewarding DC for. Just buy it.

Justice League Dark #1 W: Peter Milligan A: Mikel Janin

Yes, the title of this book is stupid. But if DC want to call their supernatural line 'Dark' then it's up to them and so the title is what it is. What we should instead be considering is how good it is - which is pretty good. It's the most successful of the Justice League titles, probably not least because it lets Peter Milligan play with Shade The Changing Man again.

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But it's not all about Shade. We establish why the regular Justice League can't do it:

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then it's in with the NOT QUITE VERTIGO League.

I think that's maybe the biggest problem this book has is that it's a big team and they're all essentially 'new' characters in that non-Vertigo readers won't be that familiar with them - without even going near the fact that Vertigo is still sort of ongoing so we have two Constantines running about (or do we?). And because of the size of the team the book doesn't really get going.

In its favour though, it still gets going much better than the other JL books - especially Justice League - and pulls off what it tries to with an appropriate level of Vertigo quirkiness.

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So a curate's egg then and one that maybe only gets credit for being better than its peers, but worth buying for the moment.

The Savage Hawkman #1 W: Tony S Daniel A: Philip Tan

New Universe, New Old Hawkman. Carter Hall dons the wings of Nth Metal once more, although for the vast majority of this book he seems to be desperate to forget it all and just get on with his regular job.

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I was prepared to give Tony Daniel some latitude, because I enjoyed the writing on Detective, but this is pretty much a mess. Firstly, it features an 'enemy from the dawn of time' (which, as people might have read on other threads, is exactly what I hated the most one of the things I found particularly objectionable about Russell T Davies' Award Winning Doctor Who tm) and secondly because the dialogue is this bad:

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Even Philip Tan's artwork, which I've liked in the past, is reduced to a smear on these pages with little more than expressions of colour and motion which although it could conceivably be A THING is not his intention I'm sure.

I'd rather be reading this Hawkman:

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I'll see it to #3, but it's not much better than either of the JT Krul books.

Superman #1 Writer & Breakdowns: George Perez Pencils & Inks: Jesus Merino

Words. So many words. And more words. And exposition. And words.

It's no real wonder Perez has to do breakdowns on this because it's just so cluttered with dialogue and explanation. I would show you, but my t0rr3nt hasn't worked for this either which is probably just as well as the weight of text would most likely crash the ILX server.

And that's why the book isn't any good. It's too wordy and too cluttered and just doesn't work. George Perez will be on this longer than me, and he's announced #6 is his last.

Teen Titans #1 W: Scott Lobdell P: Brett Booth I: Norm Rapmund

Another formation story, but with added brattiness. I'm getting totally sick of origin stories but this just about pulls it off by virtue of the sheer likability of the characters - or at least Kid Flash and Red Robin - against clunky dialogue and tortured breakdowns, specifically once Wonder Girl turns up.

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This is much better than Red Hood, but that's not exactly setting it a challenge. But is it better than Batfink?

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NO.

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But there's enough good will generated in the Kid Flash section to keep me reading for now. A solid C.