INDIAN FOOD!

I'm taking my mom and dad out for indian food for the first time. Like me, dad will eat anything. But mom can't eat anything that is spicy or peppery in the SLIGHTEST! Not even a hint of a kick. What is the most boring, tame, unspicy, unexotic thing I should tell her to order...

Korma or passanda. Both creamy and mild.

Tikka masala is also pretty tame, but is basically an anglo asian invention as I understand it, which you might not be able to find outside of the UK.

we got tikka masala here too fyi

best bet might just be asking your waiter what they recommend but common menu items:
any tika masala is a pretty safe bet
butter chicken (makhani) is a+++ although less common in usa indian places than in toronto in my experience
saag paneer is a good choice
other paneer dishes tend to be pretty mild

fwiw, this meal was a total fucking disaster

From your first post, sounds like you could kinda see it coming.

I'm taking my mom and dad out for indian food for the first time. Like me, dad will eat anything. But mom can't eat anything that is spicy or peppery in the SLIGHTEST! Not even a hint of a kick. What is the most boring, tame, unspicy, unexotic thing I should tell her to order...

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Saturday, December 27, 2008 12:02 PM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha so then, your taste in music on the other hand ...

hypothetically a great zing for maybe someone who isn't me. but A for effort.

fwiw, this meal was a total fucking disaster

― chattanooga choom choom (Whiney G. Weingarten), Sunday, 28 December 2008 05:53 (1 hour ago)

what happened?

mom decided she hated it before actually trying anything. wouldn't try the papadum even though dad explained to her that it was like a frito, wouldn't try the mango lassi or the raiti because she wasn't in the mood for anything yogurty. To her credit, she DID try the pakora and samosa but said they tasted like cardboard.

when it came time to order her main course, she settled on the tandoori shrimp. the menu said "cooked in a clay pot with yogurt and mild spices." Since she was so serious about proving her point that she wouldn't like this, she demanded that she she know what each of the spices were--something she had never done, and certainly wouldn't do if we went out for BBQ or chicken or whatever. The waiter explained it was a "homemade spices" and she made him get another waiter to explain what they actually were (coriander, some other stuff). She made a face and asked if they could just cook the shrimp with no spices, which they did. So basically they served her some shrimp. She ordered dessert, which was ice cream with almolds, pistachios, rosewater and cardamom. She made me get out my iPhone and look up what cardamom was on wikipedia before she ordered it.

Then I took her to see Slumdog Millionaire at a small-run theater and she grumbled about the theater and asked v. loudly "Is this over soon?"

I mean, i really really really think its pathetic and sad to be the indie poseur dude who comes back from the BIG CITY and is like "You suburban squares eat processed Olive Garden swill and shop at big box retailers and watch big budget movies in your nerf-covered world, maaaan, waaah" So I tried to approach it from the angle of "You picked the last movie and the last restaurant, so it's my turn. I think you might enjoy some stuff that you haven't been exposed to. We have to drive 45 minutes out of town just to watch an indie movie or eat indian food, so it'll be a fun adventure. Why don't we try this and maybe you'll like it." She wasn't having it.

fwiw, Dad loved the food and LOVED the movie :D

If you are going to play petulant kiddie to yr folks, you have to man up and take the consequences, Whiney.

No, I know. There IS precedent in letting each other pick the movies though, and she made me sit through Jurassic Park III once.

Next time, let mom "drive". Soon enough, she'll be begging you to.

Her suggested plan for the night: Valkrye and Ruby Tuesday. Should have sucked it up.

Next time it WILL be her turn to pick the movie, so I'm sure I'll get stuck with 4 Fast 4 Furious and a night of Carraba's Italian Grill

Is that so bad? I mean, the whole point of visiting the folks is to please them, innit? It's over soon enough.

Point taken. But, again, my dad had a good time.

man that sucks dude -- i actually had a sorta similar exp this holiday w/ my dad + his new gf over indian food, but luckily she was also concerned w/ not offending me so she tried the indian food anyway. shes from nyc tho so not really a ruby tues + jurassic park lady, just not familiar w/ indian food

i dont really know why i shared that boring anecdote

your mom sounds like a total pill

obviously get her a phall, duh

could have predicted the result tbh

That would also be my mom, although in the future all you have to say about movies you're trying to get her to agree to is 'it might win an Oscar'. My mom is still convinced that Indian food is bad from a case of food poisoning she got in the '60s in NYC and refuses to eat anything with 'curry' in it.

although in the future all you have to say about movies you're trying to get her to agree to is 'it might win an Oscar'

That doesn't work. She always assumes that if there's no actors she's heard of in it, then it's not a good movie.

My mom did like the nan bread, even though she kept calling it "pizza bread" hahaha

Yeah I can see that; my mom's delay/deny tactic is 'oh, I'll wait for the DVD'.

Chicken tandoori is a good bet for parents who are unsure of Indian food, too. I would just bring some home, call it barbecued chicken and take it from there.

chicken saag is my favorite meal in the world this week

like i think there are narcotics in it

love crab curry at Park Slope place

if i plan my life right, my last meal will be chana masala, aloo gobi, and some dosas with tamarind chutney. and iced tea.

i guess that's more like planning my death right

who the fuck cares what you call it just pass me the masala

Whiney's story upthread reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_grandmother_tries_indian_food

ppl in LA, Rajadhani in that little India area near Cerritos has some fucking crazy Gujurathi food. Pretty much as good as most of the shit you get in India.

cuet indian girl at work brought me in some Vegetable Biriyani. so good!

what do I get tonight:
gosht pasanda...tender pieces of lamb cooked in rich cashew nut gravy with cream, butter, and dry fruits...
OR...
boti kabab masala...selected pieces of young lamb delicately spiced and barbecued in our tandoor and then cooked in chef's special sauce??????

special sauce >>> dry fruits

I am too juvenile to ever order any food with anything described remotely like "special sauce"

love love love boti masala kebab, totally go get that

yeah the dry fruits is making me hesitate, but i'm assuming they're broken down and become part of the sauce? not just like here's some lamb and sauce with prunes studded throughout.

sometimes you can find sultanas and such in curry sauces over here.

dried fruits don't break down in sauces - yr looking at something that's gonna have raisins/cherries in it imho

ok then boti it is. i was thinking it'd be akin to raisins breaking down in a mole.

A pasanda from a British takeaway will have sultanas in whole, yeah. Nothing bigger though. Over here the dish is usually pretty korma-like, if that helps.

(Do Americans call golden raisins "sultanas"? That's what I mean, anyhow.)

no, far as i know we just call them golden raisins. was picturing something kormaish, will try it some other time.

Aloo Parantha : 4.00

Garlic Naan : 3.00

Saffron Special Murg Tikka Masala : 13.95

Boti Kabab Masala : 13.95

Steamed Basmati Rice : 3.95

What's the rationale for Indian places charging for rice (some Indian places don't, but NO Chinese or Thai places do). I mean it's good fuckin rice and they give you a bunch (too much, really) but c'mon, $4?

mottor paneer was superb this evening mmm nom etc.

You know, I've noticed the rice thing, too, and I think it's bullshit. Serving your customers rice is the price of doing business, imo. It costs pennies, in the quantities you'll be purchasing, and it causes so much ill will NOT to include it, that why are we even discussing this??

if i plan my life right, my last meal will be chana masala, aloo gobi, and some dosas with tamarind chutney. and iced tea.

― u don't have 2 be a shart, baby, 2 be in my jort (m bison),

^^

i had tj's indian food for dinner last night. paneer tikka masala w/ spinach rice, and a piece of garlic naan. pretty fucking great, but even bad indian food tastes good enough for me.

those cheap-ass places on 6th street in the east village? LOVE.

yes! spice cove was my jam