your terrible ideas

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Cover of "Wichita Lineman" updated for the ISDN generation called "Digital Lineman" - vocoders, modem crackle during the breakdown etc...

Yo wait a minute man, you better think about the world (dog latin), Monday, 19 September 2011 09:43 (twelve years ago) link

hahaha

the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Monday, 19 September 2011 11:34 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://i51.tinypic.com/2ag94p3.jpg

molds/stencils that you sit on during the act of pooping to produce star-shaped and heart-shaped and snowman-shaped poop logs.

giant glittering joyful returning elephant (unregistered), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 05:44 (twelve years ago) link

Shit is real...
http://www.turdtwister.com/

PoMo with a shotgun (snoball), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 10:52 (twelve years ago) link

shit is real!

thank you BIG HOOS, you brilliant god-man (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

I feel like all my best poop jokes have been done before. this is really distressing.

giant glittering joyful returning elephant (unregistered), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 13:37 (twelve years ago) link

lmao xp

thank you BIG HOOS, you brilliant god-man (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 13:37 (twelve years ago) link

pooping my ass off

PoMo with a shotgun (snoball), Wednesday, 5 October 2011 13:44 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

a sequel to Home Alone starring a recently outed macaulay caulkin's efforts to fit into the gay community called Homolone

dayo, Thursday, 20 October 2011 12:01 (twelve years ago) link

a macaulay caulkin movie about a post apocalyptic world where only one city in Utah survives called Provolone

brownie, Thursday, 20 October 2011 13:26 (twelve years ago) link

Guest appearance on Simpsons where he borrows money from Bart's dad.

building a binary of hope (onimo), Thursday, 20 October 2011 15:17 (twelve years ago) link

combination whitehead treatment/acupuncture clinic

loads of personality, loved to chase chickens (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 20 October 2011 17:15 (twelve years ago) link

a sequel to Home Alone starring a recently outed macaulay caulkin's efforts to fit into the gay community called Homolone

― dayo, Thursday, October 20, 2011 12:01 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

lol Scott Thompson of Kids in the Hall beat you to it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLQ91BDIR2o

lagerfeld of modern despots (latebloomer), Thursday, 20 October 2011 17:30 (twelve years ago) link

Friends of Stryper - a charity run by personal friends of the Christian metal band Stryper. it would be a straightforward charity consisting of food pantries, homeless shelters, thrift shops, and fundraising events. the Friends would not feel the need to shove Stryper down people's throats, but they might slip the odd Stryper song into their Muzak playlists, offer free Stryper CDs and merch at their thrift shops, host Stryper Thursdays (main course: striped bass) at the food pantries, and occasionally get Stryper to play a benefit concert. when challenged about their connection to Stryper, the Friends would state that their main objective (laid out in their mission statement) was to help the poor, and promoting Stryper's music was really just a pleasant side effect of their honest humanitarian efforts.

axolotl rose (unregistered), Tuesday, 25 October 2011 17:44 (twelve years ago) link

Defeat boredom by buying all the music you've been wanting for years by continually extending yourself credit when you don't realise quite how precarious a situation that is. You've just got yourself stranded in a place where you can't visit shops too frequently. yeah get everything mailorder.
Then someday that credit line snaps.

GREAT IDEA

Stevolende, Tuesday, 25 October 2011 19:12 (twelve years ago) link

a sequel to Home Alone starring a recently outed macaulay caulkin's efforts to fit into the gay community called Homolone

― dayo, Thursday, October 20, 2011 6:01 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a macaulay caulkin movie about a post apocalyptic world where only one city in Utah survives called Provolone

― brownie, Thursday, October 20, 2011 7:26 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark

lol'ing hard at both

kelpolaris, Wednesday, 26 October 2011 00:03 (twelve years ago) link

I feel like provolone is a very Utahan cheese!!

fried chicken makes Alex cry, who'd vote for such a wimpy guy? (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 26 October 2011 00:35 (twelve years ago) link

That and Cojack.

fried chicken makes Alex cry, who'd vote for such a wimpy guy? (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 26 October 2011 00:35 (twelve years ago) link

aka "colby jack"

fried chicken makes Alex cry, who'd vote for such a wimpy guy? (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 26 October 2011 00:35 (twelve years ago) link

'umbrella condoms' - giant condoms for putting an umbrella into when it's wet

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 08:29 (twelve years ago) link

They hand those out in clothes shops round these parts.

antiautodefenestrationism (ledge), Thursday, 27 October 2011 08:59 (twelve years ago) link

^^yeah that's standard practice in hk

dayo, Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:18 (twelve years ago) link

there is even an umbrella condom machine for big and small sizes

dayo, Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:18 (twelve years ago) link

Testi-cools - a range of underwear for men that have those cooling gel packs sewn into them, to prevent your scrotum overheating and getting stuck to your legs.

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:25 (twelve years ago) link

NSFW umbrella condom ad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dgyKiCe3xQ

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:27 (twelve years ago) link

i'm coming back to my idea of a dog zoo, where all the animals are adoptable. some exhibits might include

the golden forest of various retrievers
the low rollling hummock of collies
the corgi lab (replete with labcoats)
the low-key self-motivated racetrack for retired grayhounds in which the mechanical rabbits are made out of cheese and are occasionally catchable

turkey in the straw (x2) (remy bean), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:29 (twelve years ago) link

The TV commercial for Testi-Cools could use 'Blue Suede Shoes', but with different lyrics:

Do anything
that you wanna do
but uh-huh honey, stay off of my 'Cools
Oh don't you, step on my Testi-Cools
You can do anything,
but stay off of my Testi-Cools

cheque out my debit to building society (snoball), Thursday, 27 October 2011 11:36 (twelve years ago) link

Corgi lab A+ idea

They're coming to get you, (Jenny), Thursday, 27 October 2011 12:33 (twelve years ago) link

Veblen of Luxembourg ™ - Luxury personal lifestyle brand selling gold signature-embossed ivory shoehorns and diamond cognac decanters

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 1 November 2011 21:29 (twelve years ago) link

Most of my terrible ideas are actually just terrible puns for business names. This morning I briefly thought "Esprit Decor" was a good name for an interior design firm, but it's terrible.

Not only is it terrible, Google informs me it's also terribly unoriginal by a margin of about 40000 results.

a guy called Gerard (onimo), Thursday, 3 November 2011 12:03 (twelve years ago) link

A pay-by-the-hour philospher service combined with a horse stables, called 'Putting Decartes Before The Horse'.

asked Dermot O'Leary, but he couldn't help me either. They call me the (snoball), Thursday, 3 November 2011 12:37 (twelve years ago) link

booooooo

google sluething so hard right now (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:33 (twelve years ago) link

A public service broadcast campaign called "Tough Luck, You're Doing It"

Glo-Vember (dog latin), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:09 (twelve years ago) link

A pay-by-the-hour philospher service combined with a horse stables, called 'Putting Decartes Before The Horse'.

― asked Dermot O'Leary, but he couldn't help me either. They call me the (snoball), Thursday, November 3, 2011 12:37 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

ayyy

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:12 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

Emmett Amish Jugband Christmas

Kelsey Glamour (Nijoli), Friday, 6 January 2012 12:58 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Small, chic eatery called Gruel -- sells bowls of a high end version of the titular substance. No utencils and you have to sit on the floor.

frogBaSeball (Hurting 2), Sunday, 29 January 2012 22:52 (twelve years ago) link

A cover of 10cc's 'The Things We Do For Love', dubstep style with suitably amended lyrics and retitled 'The Things We Do For Wub'.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:01 (twelve years ago) link

call it Grool with a backwards capital G and you're golden xp

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:04 (twelve years ago) link

Give the interior a school theme and call it Grool Skool?

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

And the adverts could be fronted by Mr. T.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:31 (twelve years ago) link

"I pity the fool who doesn't eat at Grool Skool. Becuase it rools."

Also, another series of ads could be fronted by Dave Grohl, except the board of directors of the company that owned the Grool Skool chain would make him change his name to Dave Groooooohl.

insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Sunday, 29 January 2012 23:40 (twelve years ago) link

i got tons of restaurants

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:15 (twelve years ago) link

salad daze - we only serve salads lol

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:15 (twelve years ago) link

snackball - a food game (maybe for kids?) which involves things like meatballs and grapes which can be thrown, through hoops or bounced off targets, into people's mouths

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:16 (twelve years ago) link

a mexican buffet called GORDOS

hhhhhh Bill I juste like ertronic thinges (NZA), Monday, 30 January 2012 00:17 (twelve years ago) link

love the gruel idea

fuckhead (latebloomer), Monday, 30 January 2012 09:39 (twelve years ago) link

Children's Fables for the Web2.0 era: Google Docs and the Three Bears

I want your nose, your shoes and your unicycle (dog latin), Monday, 30 January 2012 10:07 (twelve years ago) link

Porn starring Merryl Streep entitled "Streep Throat"

happiness is the new productivity (Hurting 2), Monday, 6 February 2012 22:41 (twelve years ago) link

Streep Throat! omg.

Kelsey Glamour (Nijoli), Thursday, 9 February 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link


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