Simpsons quotations

Looking over the transcript for "Homerpalooza" it's just . . . credited writer Brent Forrester is listed as the writer of four episodes: This, "Homer vs. Patty & Selma," "22 Short Films About Springfield" and "Lemon of Troy," and they're all absolute gold. Regardless of who in the writer's room wrote what jokes, the episodes themselves are all GOAT territory.

Homer: I see these kids now with "Jive" printed on their shirts. Pftt... Now, I can teach you how you're supposed to say "jive".
Lisa: Dad... Please just drive the car, dad.
Homer: I'm watching the road, sweetie. You jive turkey. See? You got to sass it. Quit jivin' me, turkey. You got to sass it. A "turkey" is a bad person.

I mean can I just

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7tn9lSERpA

One of my favorite moments in the whole series:

Marge: I'm sorry: Homer doesn't mean to be rude, he's just a very complicated man.
[Homer appears at the bedroom window, breaks a plate over his head]
Homer: Wrong!

^^^^^^^^^ YES

"22 Short Films About Springfield" and "Lemon of Troy" are easily 2 of my top 10 alltime. Wonder what it would take to get Forrester to make a return. Quick look at wiki shows he wrote a number of episodes for "The Office," too.

Hmmm, he also wrote the screenplay for this (never heard of it, but it doesn't look promising...)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/be/The_Stupids.jpg

According to the commentaries, writing credit goes to whoever came up with the idea for the episode. Some/many/most of the jokes may have been written by others (e.g, John Vitti is credited with "Mr. Plow," but Conan O'Brien came up with the radio-dial gag).

It's swearier than I remember.

I love it when Bart swears on purpose "crap boobs crap!" and "hell damn fart!"

"You're insincere. I like that."

http://www.avclub.com/articles/clueless-case-file-185-the-stupids,53858/

Well he may have all the money in the world but there's one thing he can't buy

What's that?

...

A DINOSAUR

Frink: Oh, wait a minute, this isn't the monsterometer, it's the frog exaggerator!

Published on 1 Mar 2013

You've seen the rest, now watch the best. It's The Simpsons Harlem Shake!

Kiss my asphalt

I call him Gamblor

That sounded like a pig fainting

It's more of a Shelbyville idea

I told them to slice my sandwich!

It was the olden days!

You ate all the tarragon and you drank all the soy sauce

That was a gutsy decision!

being at a NYE party that didn't acknowledge midnight made me think of "remember that New Year's Eve party at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock".

the ep where Oscar De La Hoya says "Dios Mio! This kid is fun to hit!" re: Martin Prince was on today, still the funniest line ever

Shut your squeal hole booze jockey

pipe down rub a dub

"jagged metal Krusty-O" came up today for the first time in years, & I feel ten pounds lighter

Hand me my patching trowel

"operation mail-take"

"We'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!"

Even stink beetles??

I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.

Then to the Duff brewery

haha

buy three tubes of mister blister, get one free

Thanks, Benevenstanciano!

Allan the cowboy

I love you, Pepsi.

What have I done to deserve this flat flavourless Manhattan?

^^ I swear to god I thought of that one just yesterday.

Ann Landers is a boring old biddy

I hear those things are awfully loud

Unbelievable, and just imagine the logistics of weightlessness.

I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.

Queen of the harpies!

Here's your crown YOUR MAJESTY!

Aw, nuts! I mean, uh … aw, nuts!

I'm a guy like me!

When you go home tonight, there's gonna be another floor on your house!

"How does your Mom usually punish you?"
"She makes me taste beer"

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand."

I was thinking recently about how this ^^ - said to his heartbroken child - is a stunningly cruel thing to hear in a TV show. This show could be dark at times.