Ed Sheeran

haha.

His fans seem to love "they say I'm up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator".

This analogy doesn't actually work as well as he and they seem to think.

so guess which psychopath thought he'd listen to this album?

next time anyone feels they must surely have now heard the worst shit ever i urge them to seek out 'wake me up', an excruciating litany of student bedsit twee cutesyisms in the vague form of a song. just staggering.

i would transcribe something from it for delectation but for a very real and grave fear i'd instantly be turned into a pillar of salt

Do it.

And I know you love shrek
Because we've watched it 12 times

And maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale too
And if your dvd ever breaks today
You shoulda got a vcr because I've never own a blue ray, true say

I know I've always been shit at computer games because your brother always
Beats me
And if I lost, I go across and chuck all the controllers at the tv

And you laugh at me
And be asking me
If ima be home next week
Then lie with me, till I fall asleep
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/ed_sheeran/wake_me_up.html ]
And flutter eye lash at me between the sheets
And you will never know just how beautiful you are to me
And maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up
And I think you hate the smell of smoke
You always try to get to stop

But you drink as much as me
And I get drunk a lot

So I take you to the beach
And walk along the sand
And I'll make you a heart pendant
With a pebble held in my hand

And I'll carve it like this necklace
So the heart falls where your chest is
So a piece of me is a piece of the beach
And it fallls just where it needs to be
And rests peacefully

So you just need to beathe to feel my heart against your now
Maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up
Maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up
Maybe I gfell in love when you woke me up

in all seriousness is this guy ripping off those match.com adverts or vice versa

Fuck me in the eye.

blue ray, true say

:oooo

somehow "blue ray, true say" stands out as the very worst thing in that LOL XP

you know you've got problems if even southall is clowning your studenty game

First person since Mumford and Sons to helpfully crystallise dozens of hateful things about British culture in one despicable package.

PS I am old.

new most revolting thing i've ever seen:

@Nandos_Official: created @EdSheeran his very own sauce, has had 30k views in 40 mins lockerz.com/s/138651733

ps i don't follow nandos on the twitter.

Every artist gets the product he deserves.

There's probably an excellent Nando's Skank from 2yrs ago that is getting cruelly ignored here.

Oh my god I just Googled 'Nando's Skank' and ED SHEERAN ACTUALLY TURNED UP.

I'd never heard of this dude until he was suddenly the lead review in the Graun last week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DussnqvJy1g&feature=player_embedded

makes me want to kill myself. this is typical of the sort of total shit radio 1 scene where everyone appears on each other's tracks to make each other feel credible.

genuinely...if someone can find me a worse piece of music than that, i'll be astonished.

god this country is a shithole

the whole "it's okay and cool to schill for nandos" thing that seems to be part of the uk scene is pretty awful too.

it is ok to schill for nando's, tho

i mean who gives a fuck, tbh? if the music is good, let them schill, let them not, whatever.

can't deny that spicy rice yo

would rather i didn't have bands advertising a national fast food chain. and the music isn't good...

well, i'm not denying the second, i just think the first is....irrelevant, personally speaking.

it would be if it was just a one-off or something, but it's actually a widespread thing for uk musicians to rep for nandos. they're all given nandos cards etc for free food.

what song has it ever put you off, out of interest?

it hasn't...doesn't mean it's something i'm over the moon for musicians to do though.

oooooh, he needs to be over the moon now, eh

can't remember the last time i was over the moon tbh...

no kidding

sorry :)

haha you do get yourself in these ridic middle-of-the-road grumpy funks though... like the kids enjoy nandos, nandos enjoys money, kids get free food, big deal everyone's happy. snap out of it man

can we all agree at least that whatever tripe he spouts sheeran will never be as big a cunt as example is

for one his name isn't example so, sure, points awarded there.

i am basing that opinion solely on the first 7 seconds of that video btw, dunno if i can recall any of example's work exactly

dunno if i can recall any of example's work exactly

HERE'S AN EXAMPLE

i had to review the capital fm summertime ball a couple of months ago and for most of the duration of example's set i genuinely thought it was some between-song jape or competition winner, like some student or plumber had randomly wandered on stage and started to rap over a preset sample, and i couldn't figure out why everyone seemed to be going wild

sad i did that sorry to my mother and father

i don't get why example and wretch 32 and professor green are such genuinely huge pop stars. like at least i get it with tinchy and chipmunk even if their music is whatevia these days.

loads of x-posts normally i would ridicule people's vaguely anti-corporation ideas except this whole we are ur friends innocent smoothie thing is actually a thing and is quite annoying. but yeah many criticisms of things are sort of mor and pointless...

granted if wretch 32 popped up repping some new boysenberry slurry of innocent's i might concede a line may have been crossed somewhere

just you wait.

No. Just no.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4BLVznuWnU

I am annoyed to report that he is infesting America more and more, and I blame you, the good people of the UK, for not drowning him at birth.

http://www.killerhiphop.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/the-slumdon-bridge.jpg

during my hiatus a while back i thoroughly enjoyed watching ilm pretend this didnt exist

"slumdon"... clever

i hope it's about the riots, i really want to hear young musicians like ed sheeran tackle that theme.

The infernal satellite radio channel at work currently has four...FOUR!...of this dipshit's songs in heavy rotation. "Give Me Love" somehow < "You Need Me I Don't Need You"

having trouble understanding what's going on on that cover- radioactive Slumdon Bridge is falling down (due to radiation?) meaning that radioactive deer will fall into the Thames?

Lol

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/nylpm/2017/03/datapanik-in-the-year-sheero/

Is that this year's model of the FT Xanadu shutdown of a decade ago?

Ah, no. But thanks for posting. Hadn't seen that.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/music/news/streaming-has-turned-uk-charts-joke-ed-sheerans-16-hit-singles/

Change the charts methodology?

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/nylpm/2017/03/datapanik-in-the-year-sheero/

Ha, we need to post 16 articles about his chart domination, one for each top 20 UK streamed hit

This guy sucks

whenev his name is said i hear "Ned Sherrin"

I get all my pop culture knowledge from Sesame Street these days. when this dude cropped up I could not believe he was actually famous. apparently he is helping redheads get laid so that's good at least.

https://www.facebook.com/portsmouthofficial/photos/a.295433318045659/517945292461126/?type=3&theater

some dude pretended to be Ed in Portsmouth and got away with it at three churches

satire site but i want to believe

i heard you scam churches

you overhear 'thinking out loud' ONCE and the fucking thing's in your head for days

it's made with witchery and evil juices

lol his new video has him dressed as the Joker

not that i'm ever going to listen to it, but still fairly annoyed that his new lp is called "equals" not "minus"

I'm annoyed that Yes never released The No Album

They did, it was called Tormato

https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/6179a8ac8863d4d56b12af42/1:1/w_320/100000x100000-999.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EuTePCqXAAQAv2i.jpg

https://www.nme.com/news/music/cradle-of-filth-say-their-collaboration-with-ed-sheeran-is-underway-hes-done-some-of-it-3301226

fucks sake

look the man’s got tattoos what do you want

I blame Tracer for starting this thread in the first place.

lol at him doing an album with aaron dessner

Oh my. I haven’t laughed this hard in a while. Good ol’ Winnipeg. 🤣 pic.twitter.com/eMgoYGZyoO

— Shannon Says… (@ShannonSays10) March 12, 2023