Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Stormwatch #1

This, however, is the book which should be the most out of place. It featured substitutes for Superman, Batman, Captain Atom etc because they couldn't use them and featured the spaces out of the universe as run-off between worlds using a ship too big for any universe as the maguffin. In the reboot we have a ship in "hyperspace", which looks like an attempt to rationalise The Carrier, but thee's no context for how they got out there. There's a flashback to previous Stormwatches through history, mention of a "Shadow Cabinet" and a giant eye inside the Moon.

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I wonder if the incoming thing it refers to is what Luthor notices in Action? (There's also a reference to Superman #1, not yet published.) Anyway, The Engineer and Jack Hawksmoor are still there, they're trying to recruit Apollo and it looks like The Midnighter is on the other side. Jenny Quantum is in the book, but doesn't look like she's in Stormwatch yet, whereas the Martian Manhunter is.

I'm not really sure it's worth trying to rationalise this, but I'm sure it'll make sense eventually. I guess I have faith in Paul Cornell to get it right eventually, but this is pretty slow going even if it does seem to be about the Moon turning into a monster.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6205/6136018407_9cf03cd748_z.jpg

One for the fans, I think.

Swamp Thing #1

Having been a massive Swamp Thing stan at one point, I somehow missed everything that was happening around Brightest Day and only read one issue of the Search For.. book so I've had to fill in the gaps. Which, frankly, seem like a load of old bollocks. Anyway, Alec Holland is now just a man, but has connections to the plant world he can't explain. There's something weird happening with bones as well (which most likely tie into The Red as I noted in Animal Man and Jeff Lemire confirms the two books will cross over soon). He has a bio-restorative formula again, but nobody except Superman wants him to use it.

Some obvious nods to the old fans in here - the cover is reminiscent of the last panel of Rite of Spring and Totleben's Motel is a nice touch - but as with Animal Man this is a Vertigo book in all but name and some of the pages are amongst the best I've seen in a DC horror book for some time. This is my favourite page:

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A sleeper title maybe, but one you should be reading. I will be.

So Gail Simone was arguably the most successful writer of female heroes before the reboot, including having worked with Barbara Gordon before, and it gives DC a way of extending Adam Hughes' contract* so this is bound to be AWESOMES, right?

* The man responsible for one of the most pointless and exploitative bits of DC promo material in years:

But Batgirl isn't drawn by Adam Hughes, it's by someone called Ardian Syaf (never heard of him before). I was actually surprised how little beefcake there was in Batgirl #1, even Babs' breast size was not the mandatory superheroine D cup, she actually looks like someone who has trained her upper body a lot. I agree that the leg spread splash page looks a bit silly, but on the other hand it was probably supposed to emphasize how great she feels being able to use her legs again. Other than that I thought this Syaf fellow is a very solid artist and good at drawing action, there were some nice kinetic panels in the fight between Batgirl and the masked gang.

Sorry, by "beefcake" I meant cheesecake, obviously.

Adam Hughes did the cover.

Look, just buy it, OK? Best thing all week.

HELL NO, I WON'T DIDIO

but it isn't. Is it Galactus? A Sentinel? Don't know. Happy for someone else to pick it out.

Which turned out to be misplaced giant robot belonging to...
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110618153219/marvel_dc/images/0/0b/Metron_014.jpg

man, that Workman fill-in looks so wrong

So Best thing all week is by DiDio? My world is crumbling!

Aldo, these are great. That Hawk&Dove montage alone was wonderful. You've made me buy some books I wasn't going to.

what do yall have against the Hughes pinup?

I don't really have anything against the Hughes pinup (hell, I might have bought more than one Frank Cho book in my life), but the Women of DC thing was utterly pointless cheesecake which iirc appeared for the first time in three segments as inside back covers. No context, nothing. I think there's something funny as well about his sexying up Barbara Goredon then realising composition means he has to have another character sitting down for no reason at the other side.

As for the JLI splash, no, it's definitely a Kirby thing I'm thinking of. Look at the Action Poses!

Barbara Goredon

don't give Geoff Johns ideas

I kinda dig Foreman's art on Animal Man, but can see how YMMV.

I liked it too... I think maybe the online reproduction of it is losing some of the detail.

one thing I don't like about all this nu-52 shite is the way all the issue 1s are swamping the new comics space in my local shop.

Batman and Robin #1

Woohoo! A book by Rolo Tomassi! \m/ \m/

http://static.nme.com/images/gallery/rolo_Tomassi_DF_L80509.jpg

Oh. Peter Tomasi.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_zWPZ3jc1d9s/TEAviEO80dI/AAAAAAAAAEI/fnbo1mefSXw/s320/tomasi.jpg

WELL THAT'S HARDLY THE SAME THING NOW, IS IT? I mean seriously, you think a Geoff Johns Sadface collaborator is a substitute for Nottingham Mathcore?

To be fair to the book, it's not bad. A universe's worth of BatHistory is tied up and rejected in about 10 pages, and it's really clear that Barry Allen's Cosmic Brane remembers all of Batman Inc even though the rest of us can't. But from the double page centre splash onwards it's good knockabout generic BatFun, even if it took me five goes to work out what was going on in this panel and how it connects to the panels before and after:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6076/6157922365_d38662b9c6_z.jpg

The last page, however, redeems pretty much any failings even if it's probably the most brutal thing in any of the new books to date. I'm staying for now, but not wedded to continuing to buy this yet.

Batwoman #1

All Hail Geoff Johns! He has managed to get JH Williams to get an issue of Batwoman out on time! NB I am not taking bets against this being the only one...

Anyway, the reasoning why is well known - Williams was so late this has been rescheduled multiple times since the original Feb solicit and boy does it show. This comes straight out of the Detective feature, barely even acknowledging the whole Brightest Day/Blackest Night bollocks.

Accordingly, this probably needs no selling to you. It's absolutely beautiful, as you'd expect. I mean, LOOK AT THIS (no apologies for HUGENESS):

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6156/6158555802_dfc27c2934_b.jpg

One complaint? Continuity. BRA ON:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6173/6158013485_eef1131276_z.jpg

PRESTO SWAPSIES!:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6200/6158555958_f734a4e5dd.jpg

I mean, you could argue there's too much GAY AGENDAR, but you must have known you were buying a book about a lesbian crimefighter. I can't see any possible way you could sell this to kids because the plot is just too complicated, but as long as they keep publishing it I'll keep buying it.

Deathstroke #1

Bleh. No interest in the character and the artist comes from the Draw Characters Like Rob Liefeld Draws Captain America And/Or Cable school.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6157/6158585882_9f6c9616e6.jpg

Luckily he took evening classes in MacFarlane Pouches.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6173/6158043417_4f85418019.jpg

The worst thing about this was the teen sidekicks though, and it's only Deathstroke's reaction to them in the closing pages that makes me remotely interested in reading any more of these.

Demon Knights #1

Damn the consequences, I really quite liked this. There, I said it.

I have absolutely NO idea how this ties into the modern DCU, but what's not to like about a comic that stars Jason Blood, Madame Xanadu, The Shining Knight and Vandal Savage?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6193/6158618394_1042d7d68b.jpg

Does it deliver kind of mystic action with added FITES?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6069/6158618428_1dfd63d553.jpg

This sort of thing just makes me feel all benevolent.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6183/6158618490_a99cb20a95.jpg

This won't be for everyone. It might not actually be for anyone other than me. But I'm sticking with this for now.

The bra-off shot is several weeks after the bra-on shot, not minutes later. If that's a continuty error, I'm glad I don't have to wash your smalls.

btw is it just me or was Mr Bones not rhyming at all? I know Johnson and Williams hid them in Chase, but I didn't spot a sneaky rhyme scheme in this.

Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #1

You know, I really, really want to like this but it's such a B.P.R.D. rip-off it's nigh-on impossible.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6189/6158647548_85748f607b.jpg

You took the words right out of my mouth, Frankie. Look, they even have a new character (? I think) that rips off Abe Sapien!

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6204/6158647682_c57485f021.jpg

This must be able to be made good, but I have no idea how. Putting Ray Palmer in it, presumably to allow The Atom later, doesn't cut it. Me and Jeff Lemire, last night:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6209/6158105669_bcbacc628e.jpg

I'm Frankie, if you hadn't guessed. Anybody who wants to read this sort of thing done well should buy the FrankenCastle run on The Punisher instead.

Just re-read that bit of Batwoman and there's nothing anywhere to suggest that they're not continuous - we see the characters dress and go out, then come back and undress while talking about one fight (which is intercut in the undressing art). I agree it makes far more sense for it to reflect several weeks but that's not what the comic itself says at all; and since this is supposed to be part of attracting a new comics audience who are not necessarily comics literate, asking them to read implicit textual changes is a bit of a low blow.

"You're not being fair, Kate. I HAVE been working really hard."
"You still scare me out there."

This dialogue indicates clearly that they have been out on patrol on multiple occasions over a moderately extended period of time.

Green Lantern #1

AAAAAARGH GEOFF JOHNS AAAAAAARGH MANKELIPS AAAAAARGH FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

A book so mired in continuity it makes no sense if you haven't read every GL book ever like what Geoff has.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6187/6158163331_600f0fd71e.jpg

Ok, I'm exaggerating slightly, but how is a new reader supposed to know or care about Star Sapphire? Or the Sinestro Corps War?

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6192/6158163375_88756988cc.jpg

Reading something else. What I'm not doing is having dinner with Geoff Johns and Sterling Gates.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6076/6158163427_1afe50916b.jpg

Impenetrable bollocks for the casual reader. A searing indictment of the real state of DC for the rest of us. This, unfortunately, is the future.

I take your point sic, but the new reader would struggle with that and that's who these books are supposed to be for.

aldo you are performing a great service to humanity w these reviews, just one thing, cld you possibly give us full creator credits at the start of em, ty

I can think of many things that might scare new readers off these books, but somehow I don't think a magical bra-swap in one panel is gonna be among those.

Attracting new readers oughtn't mean dumbing everything down for a punch-and-biff lowest common denominator, though. And it's not fair to hold a JH Williams comic from late 2009 to a March 2011 idea by Dan DiDio.

And let's face it, this book was always going to bring non-regular-DC-readers to it, reboot or no reboot - and they were going to largely be comics-literate people who are here FOR the JHW3 storytelling. (Hi there!)

Equally Tuomas they're not going to be put off by boob size either, yet the GRITTY REALISM of that seems to be the primary thing you got out of Batgirl.

sic, violently agree with you but unfortunately we are living in a Didio world, and Kate Kane is a DiDio girl.

Equally Tuomas they're not going to be put off by boob size either, yet the GRITTY REALISM of that seems to be the primary thing you got out of Batgirl.

It wasn't! I just wanted to mention that one detail, because I thought it was a positive thing compared to most other superhero comics. Though I'm pretty sure there are actually many potential readers who are put off by the constant objectification of female characters in superhero comics (off which the "everyone has D cups" phenomenon is just a part of).

For Ward, creator run-down to date (writer/pencils/inks unless noted)

Justice League: Geoff Johns/Jim Lee/Scott Williams
Action: GMoz/Rags Morales/Rick Bryant
Animal Man: Jeff Lemire/Travel Foreman/Dan Green
Batwang: Judd Winick/Ben Oliver (all art)
Batgirl: Gail Simone/Ardian Syaf/Vincente Cifuentes
Detective: Tony S Daniel/Ryan Winn (all art)
Green Arrow: JT Krul/Dan Jurgens/George Perez
Hawk & Dove: Sterling Gates/Rob Liefeld (all art)
Justice League International: Dan Jugens/Aaron Lopresti/Matt Ryan
Men Of War: Ivan Brandon (Rock writer)/Tom Derenik (Rock artist)/Jonathon Vankin (SEALS writer)/Phil Winslade (SEALS artist)
OMAC: Dan DiDio/Keith Giffen/Scott Koblish
Static Shock: Scott McDaniel and John Rozum/Jonathon Glapion/LeBeau Underwood
Stormwatch: Paul Cornell/Miguel Sepulveda (all art)
Swamp Thing: Scott Snyder/Yanick Paquette (all art)
B&R: Peter J Tomasi/Patrick Gleason/Mick Gray
Batwoman: JH Williams (everything)/W Haden Blackman (co-writer)
Deathstroke: Kyle Higgins/Joe Bennett/Art Thibert
Demon Knights: Paul Cornell/Diogenes Neves/Oclair Albert
Frankie: Jeff Lemire/Alberto Ponticelli (all art)
GL: Geoff Johns/Doug Mahnke/Christian Alamy

Also, the Geoff Johns universe does not have people put off by BEWBS or women in refigerators. That is the law. (In fact, maybe every single book has been dominated by female characters - when they appear - being portrayed in better light than the male ones. IT'S A POLITICAL CORRECTNESS CONSPIRACY. Maybe now all the old fans will have to stop reading comics now their illusions are shattered and they can't see past their close minded view of gender politics.)

Grifter #1 W: Nathan Edmondson P: Cafu (presumably not the Brazilian footballer. Or Alan Hutton.) I: Jason Gorder

Um. I was never enough of a Wildstorm fan for this to mean anything to me really, but it chugs along at a steady enough pace and generates enough interest to get me reading the next couple without complaint. The art's nice enough, and doesn't lean nearly as heavily on Josh Holloway as you'd expect it to have for a model. What confuses me the most though is whether it's seventeen minutes, hours or days as it appears as all three in the text. And ends up back where it began.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6172/6158319825_b7b5472cd4.jpg

The real value of the book is it captures some candid shots of me round Dan DiDio's house.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6080/6158861274_6821a50892.jpg

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6172/6158319863_4559fec05f.jpg

PRINT MORE OF THESE NOW, IF YOU CAN. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Legion Lost #1: Fabien Nicieza and Pete Woods (no sub-credits)

So, I'm a sucker for LoSH. I always knew it, but how much of a kick I get out of it is best summed up by this picture of you and me reading it together.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6172/6158973844_67aab42f50.jpg

It's really good, I think. Chasing a super-villain through time, the Time Bubble blows up leading to the titular scenario. There's a bit of a fight and WHOA

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6083/6158974040_0dd28edefc_z.jpg

Some fairly crappy dialogue, another couple of explosions with some character deaths thrown in and we're at the end with me eagerly waiting the next installment. Don't expect more detail because there isn't any - this is a fast-paced flipper (with a bit of exposition).

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6193/6158432725_6de0781f48_z.jpg

I don't know, but if I go down I'm taking you with me.

so these comix i've never heard of are all wildstorm things right?

Some are, some are just unlikely titles.

the last two?

You've never heard of the Legion of Super Heroes?

Legion Lost?

It's a new Legion of Super Heroes spinoff.

oh cool, didn't realize. is Brainiac 5 still in continuity somewhere?

Guessing he's going to be in the main LoSH title. Big names in this one were TimberWolf and Wildfire.

It's a new Legion of Super Heroes spinoff.

also an old Legion of Super Heroes spinoff.

Mister Terrific #1 W: Eric Wallace P: Gianluca Gugliotta I: Wayne Faucher

Another day, another character I know nothing about. A Golden Age hero who was brought into the Justice Society of America, quite why he's been catapulted into one of the only 52 books remaining is really unclear since it reads like second string throughout. It's competent enough, but never exciting at any point and has a real identity crisis - it starts in the present day London and appears to have been written by somebody who has never been there, before skipping far into the past for a bit of character establishing and then back to the present day for a plot completely unrelated to the London sequence. It's easy enough to find yourself swept along liking it enough, but two panels stand out for me:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6190/6159476894_329e715067_z.jpg

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6181/6158936951_937dea953e_z.jpg

Ummm. Wow. Race complex, much? Self-identifying as "black guy"? "Black woman" who is genetically different to a white one solely on the basis of colour? Wow again.

I really have no idea who thinks stuff like this is a good idea. But it's weird enough to make me think about not taking this beyond #1.

Red Lanterns #1 W: Peter Milligan P: Ed Benes I: Rob Hunter

SO CONFLICTED. SO WINICKY, SO JOHNSY BUT PETE MILLIGAN.

This is complete torture/violence porn, but there's almost something that resembles a plot in there. I'm struggling to write about it because it's more of a FEELING that it's good - the internalised dialogue is good, the art is clean and distinct and it feels like it's going somewhere (unlike most of the other books this week). But I'm still conflicted. The final page sums up how I felt when I finished it:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6207/6159514082_50b064e964_z.jpg

Happy to stick with it for the time being but I'm not sure how long I can sustain the levels of hate required to enjoy this. And as one of the most misanthropic people on the planet, that's some claim.

Resurrection Man #1 W: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning Art: Fernando Dagnino

OK, there's obscure and there's Resurrection Man. Around for two years in the late 90s and that's pretty much it, the creators of the character have been given a second chance with him; which is kind of fitting as his powers are that he dies and comes back to life with a new power (that he doesn't know what it is).

This ends up working maybe the best of any of the 52 books then just because of this, primarily because it hasn't got any huge amount of history it has to cram in or ignore and nothing to be inconsistent with. And although I enjoyed it I wasn't engaged at any point, plus the whole "fixed events and you can't prevent them because you cause them" part of the plot reminded me of everything I hate about modern Doctor Who.

The art is the thing though. It reminds me of the last attempt to bring back Marvel's New Universe, or lower tier Marvel supernatural books of the 80s/90s like Druid. And it features the worst piece of art this week, coupled with one of the weirdest bits of dialogue:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6066/6159052817_c3220c0ddd_z.jpg

"A GaGa kind of way". Plus the hands. Ignoring his giant hand at the front of the panel, we have this behind:

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6179/6159591778_d71e02f638.jpg

Uh. It's her hand that's behind that doesn't work, as that inexplicable bit of width makes it look like it's her thumb and not his. Still, a decent first issue and I'm sticking with it.

Kind of looks like she has a case of toethumb

That scene hopefully takes place in the waiting room of Resurrection Man's dentist's office, which just happens to have an interesting painting of Resurrection Man scowling out a window. Does "a gaga kind of way" mean like Lady Gaga (who belongs in Red Lantern or Demon Knights) or as in Freudian/Oedipal hoochie-wawa?
"I need Red Lanterns in my shorts"

I think the former. I'd prefer the latter. (Actually, yr whole post has put "Metal Fingers In My Body" on my IJ which is no bad thing and somewhat appropriate for the first half of this book.)

OMG, no fuckin way

DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS THERE DAN

Although now I have to wonder if Di Dio's departure doesn't mean that AT&T isn't preparing to gut the whole comics division.

I have not read a single new comic book in February. Cold turkey wasn't that bad.

In other DC news: I was wondering why I kept seeing raves about this goddamn Wonder Twins series that just ended and looked into it and discovered that it was written by the same dude who wrote the goddamn Flintstones series I kept seeing raves about and the goddamn Snagglepuss series I kept seeing raves about so I guess I need to just forget about the source material being mined and read this Mark Russell dude's stuff already, huh.

lol, wut — https://cosmicbook.news/marvel-taking-over-dc-comics

Ok, that site looks sketchy af (I’ve never read it, the story just came up in my Google newsfeed)

Yes, that site is sketchy af and, iirc, a favorite of Comicsgate mutants.

sorry for the linky