Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Care to elaborate?

Sorry to hear that curmudgeon. Even when you think it for the best, the end of a relationship always hurts.

Sorry curmudgeon.

I went out last night with my (okc-sourced) ex. We had a great night, really relaxed, talked and talked, no attempts to rekindle anything, but of course I feel like crap today because of remembering why I liked him so much, and to top it, discovered he's re-activated his profile. (Mine's active too so I'm being a hypocrite).

Care to elaborate?

lol nothing really to elaborate on, save for that OKC has been both a boon to & complicator of my social life in the past several months. Right now, I happen to be on the low ebb of that arc, but I'm sure it will swing back up soon enough.

if you are single
and live with your ex
you are not single

I dunno, works fine for me.

Just had an OKC date with someone omg so good looking, like, the most good looking person I've ever been on a date with, and also nice, respectful, relaxed, and.... boring. If he contacts me again, I'll be so tempted to go with it just for the looks in the desperate hope that we find more stuff to connect about.

OK, just got this message from him: 'It was nice meeting you! And thanks for dinner and drinks. First time I've been taken out on a first date. It can only go downhill from here. '

(Yes, I paid, not sure why - was dive bar style date, so cheap)

Wtf does that mean? I want to see you again? I don't want to see you again but thanks for dinner?

I think the last line is just badly expressed, and he's saying it was a good time so he'd like to do something again.

Yeah I agree.

Thanks for the translation. Conflicted. Maybe he was just quiet this time. Will send a tentative response.

If you think he'd take it well, you could tease him about the accidental implication.

Yeah, I can go with that.

just now had date 1 with a girl i first exchanged msgs with in february. hard for it not to be disappointing after 6 months of buildup.

she was way wittier in text.

"I liked you better when you were text"

im sayin, and you kids dont listen!! meet asap imoo

nah yeah i mean i knew it would pan out that way.

just a shame is all.

Guy above did not get back in touch. I am kind of relieved as we really didn't seem to have much to talk about, wonderfully handsome though he was.

Maybe you could take him out once every 2-3 weeks just to look at him?

You know, that is exactly what I would be happy with. Yes.

Bah I hate mixed signals. Supposed to meet up with somebody I've been exchanging msgs/photos/calls for a bit. She wants to start with dinner at her house as a way to leapfrog the initial bullshit, but has yet to actually tell me where she lives.

Supposed to meet up on Sunday afternoon after last Saturday's aborted attempt, but no actual promised email yet letting me know where the hell to actually go.

Of course, I'm supersensitive about this because I've been jacked around before by quite attractive people before online. I don't know if my keenness is too sharp or blatant or what.

Her name wouldn't be Luna, by any chance, would it?

Had dinner last night with a girl I originally met here who I hadn't seen since December and we picked up like not a day had passed. Amazing.

Ha, no it would not, but I remember her.

Bahaha oh man, so I regularly repost my CL personal out of habit, right? Chick I wasn't sure was yanking me around or not texts me this morning, says she was deleting her saved CL searches, sees my listing at the top, now no longer wants to meet or talk with me at all because she was "serious about a relationship" and felt it "disrespectful" because we "made plans"(again, that I had no indication that she was going to buy into)

So either I screwed myself over in this or just got some (more) loud klaxons that this chick is way high-maintenance.

that isn't high maintenance btw just bonkers avoid

^

Oh I already knew there were issues(1. She doesn't drink 2. Not into any ostensible geek shit 3. See pt #1) but the difference to folks that ive encountered online was enough to still make me curious enough to want to meet her.

And her puppy that she's adopting this weekend.

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuag2XNs5

I feel Todd the squirrel lays out some good requirements in the second to last panel

Still annoying, tho. I don't like people rejecting me before I've met them and provided a proper reason to do so

Wait, you never actually met in person and she thought you continuing to look for possible dates was bad? What a weirdo.

Apparently. I don't know how much her particular history/baggage plays in, but damn if it's not a fair reaction.

Still, rational brain says it's better this way to head off the future shit, emotional brain is disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and angry over such a fizzled resolution, as it were.

think u dodged a bullet

but damn if it's not a fair reaction

I am going to say damn, then.

Correction, not an _ unfair_ reaction. Yeah.

The only reason I'm not writing the situ off immediately and discarding it with a nod and a chuckle is because it's all happening inside my own head and the myriad neurochemical sluices bubbling about, not someone else's.

I mean, really, chick who freaks at the guy not immediately shutting down all other online avenues before a first date even happens(which the guy was uncertain whether it even would happen) is mad clingy or gas even worse boundary issues than the guy.

Or already found somebody else on the side and is using this ruse just to remove the guy from the situ.

One of the three.

conrad otm

Kind of enjoyed this exchange today. I'm made a little IA by people who publicly answer an OKC question to say that 'even slightly overweight' is a dealbreaker. I mean, that's their prerogative of course, but it's a politically stupid move imo, comparable to people who say that any grammatical error in a profile is the end of the world.

Good Morning,
I'm enjoying your profile. Seems to reflect a sense of peace and calmness that appeals to me.
D

Hi D,

Alas, I would count myself slightly overweight, so don't fit what you are looking for according to your public questions. Good luck on the site though, we all need it!

L

L,
The way you say that makes me feel really petty and bad about myself. Weight is important to me, but, upon a little reflection, I should revisit that question. My answer seems too rigid. I'm sorry if that makes me seem like a jerk.
With apologies.

D

Changed my answer. Prob doesn't matter much- I've often been a day late and a dollar short.
D

I'm glad you changed it! I don't think we'd be a good match but I do appreciate you getting in touch. And was serious in wishing you good luck on the site. PS (and now *I'm* going to sound like a jerk), you have a typo: 'confidant' instead of 'confident'. I don't mind at all but I know some people on the site are fussy about that kind of thing.

L

Technically, that's a plain ol' misspelling, rather than a typo. Maybe I am that type of pedant.

People go through individual answers to questions? Golly.

xp - I called it a typo because I was trying to be gentle, while pointing out that if he was going to be a pedant about weight, he had to be prepared for others to be pedants about other things. I know those aren't quite the same thing and he's entirely entitled to his preferences, but still.

mh - I generally click across to 'the two of us' and just read whatever's on the first page, and for him it happened to be that question.

That's a pretty random approach! When I first signed up I answered a slew of questions quickly and without a lot of deep thought. Some were a little skewed, especially since I was biased after a last relationship. I've edited a little, but I basically said "hell no" to anything that reminded me of my ex!

i sort of signed up for this. not really feelin it tho

xp - If I'd have really liked the profile other than that, I guess I'd have given him more of the benefit of the doubt. But I didn't, and there seemed no reason not to gently make my point. Yeah, I know, people answer that stuff fast and I was being judgemental. But seriously, if I'd accepted a date and it'd gone well and things progressed, that answer would have been on my mind!

I've re-edited a few questions as well - but my last breakup was amicable and mostly I edited to re-include things my ex taught me were not dealbreakers after all.

Such as? Not to pry personally, just curious about this process.

Smokers no longer unwelcome (it just didn't bother me as much as I thought). More flexible about people with children than I was. Upped the acceptable age range.

BTW, excellent choice of username on this thread.

Smokers and people allergic to cats can gtfo.

U breaking my hart.

it's a harsh life