God bless the goddamn Onion

for the final punchline
http://www.theonion.com/articles/circus-train-wreck-not-funny-investigators-emphasi,21252/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/aide-interrupts-event-to-inform-bush-about-10th-an,21330/

ongoing twitter congressional hostage crisis is p lol

TheOnion The Onion
Reports from those who know Congress say the legislative body had seemed desperate as of late #CongressHostage
1 hour ago

http://www.slate.com/blogs/weigel/2011/09/29/don_t_panic_capitol_police_investigating_onion_stunt.html

Note to Capitol Police,Jim Demint, etc...:

If you don't get satire, it's 'cause you are fucking idiots

http://www.theonion.com/articles/historians-politely-remind-nation-to-check-whats-h,26183/

this is brilliant

Protip: paywall can be avoided by using Opera or whichever other browser you use that disables stylesheets on command. I disable when the ad comes up, can read full article.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-sure-is-a-spooky-time-for-the-economy,26442/

http://www.theonion.com/video/celebrity-chef-ted-allen-cooks-his-favorite-preten,26571/

is it just me or has the website itself (not the content) gone totally to shit? i'm not just annoyed with the out-of-US paywall, but stuff like headlines on the front page that lead to pages like this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/harleydavidson-jack-daniels-to-collaborate-on-felo,26569/

feels like some SEO/efficiency "expert" has taken over the site or something

i mean that is just pointless and looks like garbage

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-it-all-some-kind-of-sick-joke,26592/

xpost: some headlines are just telex style one-liners, that's the "newswire" section

The magazine is consistently my favorite thing in the Onion.

Man Breaks Neck, Both Arms In Attempt To Take Off Jacket In Car

lol i nearly did that an hour ago

http://www.theonion.com/articles/biden-pins-up-guitar-lesson-flyers-on-white-house,27148/

another hesher biden bit

Scientists: 'Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?'

http://i.imgur.com/CQorc.png

and more

yes!

http://www.theonion.com/video/joad-cressbeckler-immigrants-who-survive-arizona-d,27376/

Next politics thread should be named "Congrass: A Rancid Cunt"

got more american in em than these quimboys in congress

http://www.theonion.com/articles/spike-lee-tweets-wrong-george-zimmermans-address,27797/

third one

http://www.theonion.com/articles/roger-goodell-tells-junior-seaus-family-to-throw-b,28157/

http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/blog/drilling-down/2012/05/houston-pr-pro-contemplates-the.html?page=all

When a colleague forwarded a story to me under the headline, “Fracking Industry Now Largest Employer of Recent PR Graduates,” I was intrigued, mostly because the oil and gas sector isn’t known for its proactive public relations strategies.

Perhaps such an embrace wouldn’t be a bad idea, but it turns out it’s not one rooted in reality. Scrolling down to find the source of the story, I saw that it was The Onion, a parody news site.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/physicists-discover-our-universe-is-fictional-sett,28429/

this may be some kind of first?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nude-man-who-locked-self-out-of-house-delivers-mov,28439/

2nd pic on this, in the print version: penis

Luvvvv

http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-year-volunteering-as-a-teacher-helped-educate-a,28803/

onion otm

reminds me of one of my favorites:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nigeria-may-be-a-developing-nation-but-it-is-rich,11539/

http://www.avclub.com/articles/in-1992-green-day-only-made-100-a-night,83005/

But...that's real.

Then again, this is definitely real:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/horrible-couple-really-wants-wedding-to-reflect-th,28924/

Luvvvv

http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-year-volunteering-as-a-teacher-helped-educate-a,28803/

― scott seward, Tuesday, July 17, 2012 7:47 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is so fucking OTM it kills.

"...and fucking mason jars"

"forcibly lighthearted"

so much of what I hate about (certain corners of) SF in two words

'sex house' is incredible

Completely agree, love the way it is slipping into No Exit territory.

haha wow, i hadn't noticed the existence of "Sex House" but it is pretty amazing just in terms of convincing parody, all the stupid editing details and acting tics are just dead-on.

forks otm
I was not expecting half the humor to come from the house itself being a malfunctioning hellscape
I think the hardest lol for me was the host rebuffed the 'indie' girl and then said he was asexual

the banana contest was incredibly dark and funny too

there really are 5 episodes btw

I'VE DRAWN THE MUSLIM PROPHET MUHAMMAD ON MY FOREHEAD

otm

76.

Completely agree, love the way it is slipping into No Exit territory.

Thinking it'll probably end more like "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" or, on a happier note, The Holy Mountain.

right now its salo

desperate 'indie girl' is pitch perfect btw

also love the part in the first ep when tara is hugged by her two roommates and her eyes just stare straight ahead

New episode up.

omg this is painfully funny

i hope settlers of catan will feature prominently in some major plot twist