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I have Julius Jones (returning), Thomas Jones (maybe out), Kevin Jones (maybe out), and Willie Parker (maybe out). I'm kinda screwed.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:40 (eighteen years ago) link

what's the deal with tj?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Nov 9: Jones was forced out of last weekend's victory over the New Orleans Saints after aggravating his bruised ribs, and he has been listed as questionable for this Sunday's meeting with the San Francisco 49ers. The running back did not practice with the Bears on Wednesday, and a final decision on his availability likely won't be made until just before game time, according to head coach Lovie Smith.

Advice: If Jones cannot go this weekend, rookie Cedric Benson will get the starting nod for Chicago, while Adrian Peterson should get a few touches as well. On the season, Jones has 753 yards on 167 carries and six touchdowns in eight games. He also has 17 receptions for 66 yards.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:26 (eighteen years ago) link

argh i hate game-time decisions.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Good indicator: no practice Friday = no play Sunday

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:48 (eighteen years ago) link

So is Jones back or not? I wanna field Barber regardless, but I'd rather know he's their only option.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 10 November 2005 20:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Julius Jones, that is.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 10 November 2005 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

julius is supposed to be back. thomas they're still not sure. kevin should be back, although he kind of sucks. SMOOT=FAILURE (although if any of them had been healthy I coulda taken you last week Tofu you bastige)

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 10 November 2005 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

that's spelled s-e-v-e-n-a-n-d-t-w-o, ya sourpuss.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 11 November 2005 16:51 (eighteen years ago) link

soon to be s-e-v-e-n-a-n-d-t-h-r-e-e

― j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 12 November 2005 09:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Depends entirely on what kind of a day McGahee and Johnson have.
So yeah, likely it will be.
Come on TJ Duckett!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 12 November 2005 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm on a first-name basis with my team and have to decide between domanick (at colts)(swollen knee, didn't practice friday), deshaun (jets), or ricky (pats).

i'm leaning toward domanick but last week ricky did me right. thanks.

― dan (dan), Sunday, 13 November 2005 16:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Third week in a row that I've gotten up early on a Sunday to check the status of Domanick freakin Davis.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 13 November 2005 16:59 (eighteen years ago) link

AND HE'S OUT. Sheesh. I wish I had Ricky Williams to sub. Instead, HERE COMES BRANDON JACOBS.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 13 November 2005 17:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Whoa, I got kablasted.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 14 November 2005 18:54 (eighteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

ILM FANTASY FINAL STANDINGS:
*1. Ron Mexicans 11-3-0 .786 1241.50 W-9 2 43
*2. Tofu Teamsters 10-4-0 .714 1116.00 W-3 11 43
*3. Saigon Proletariats 9-4-1 .679 1112.50 L-1 8 26
*4. New Orleans Saints 9-5-0 .643 1225.50 W-3 3 21
*5. The Iraqi Balboas 9-5-0 .643 1119.50 L-1 9 99
*6. Strong Mads 7-7-0 .500 1066.50 W-1 12 34
*7. The Football Team 7-7-0 .500 917.00 W-1 10 21
*8. Habanero 6-7-1 .464 1076.50 L-2 5 31
9. Phil Two Says Hi! 5-9-0 .357 905.50 L-7 1 3
10. Fiddlers on the Roof 4-10-0 .286 961.00 L-4 4 6
11. Fredo lives! 3-11-0 .214 956.50 W-2 6 23
12. Feminine Meatballs 3-11-0 .214 869.50 L-3 7 13

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 December 2005 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I didn't realize that we were playing the full 17 weeks! Most leagues usually quit after the 16th week cuz of the dreaded "resting players" phenomenon... Not that I am complaining, as with the *second highest* point total in the league, I damn well deserve to make the playoffs.. On the other hand I will most likely be without star wideout Marvin Harrison for the Art Donovan Bowl championship

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 13 December 2005 20:03 (eighteen years ago) link

stormy barring any upsets we'll be facing each other in the second round! it's gonna be like an old nfc championship, 'the real super bowl'.

holy shit - fredo didn't finish last.

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 13 December 2005 21:02 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck Kansas City. what a worthless fucking team.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Sunday, 18 December 2005 00:29 (eighteen years ago) link

this is a goddamn nightmare .. jump ball and OF COURSE Rod Smith comes down with it. and stupid Malarkey sits there like a bump on a log and doesn't review. PLUS I need Elam field goals.

worst possible outcome on that drive. GOD.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Third week in a row that I've gotten up early on a Sunday to check the status of Domanick freakin Davis.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), November 13th, 2005 10:59 AM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (link)

GUESS WHAT I GET TO DO IN EIGHT HOURS.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 18 December 2005 06:54 (eighteen years ago) link

and DAMMIT!

C'mon Chet Taylor. C'mon Chet Taylor.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Boy, do I hear you on the Domanick Davis tip!
C'mon Jonathan Wells!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 18 December 2005 18:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Tofu John...DO YOU HEAR ME KNOCKIN' ON YR DOOR

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Jonathan Wells with two touchdowns in the first half is makin' your knockin' awful quiet, dude.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:21 (eighteen years ago) link

jonathan wells is the best you got for me, hotshot? i counter with unexpected td from jerramy stevens!

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Goddammit, Brunell, quit looking at your tight end and hit Moss!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 18 December 2005 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I saved my most dominant performance for the consolation bracket. Great.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Monday, 19 December 2005 05:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Tiki absolutely crushed me.

goddam Kansas City. Hank Stram might be my all-time fave NFL "personality", I watched the Montana MNF game, I cried when Derrick Thomas died ( I really did, only he and Walter have ever evoked that response), always been a fan of every small market NFL team (even despite the fact that Lamar Hunt tried to steal the Turkey - day game from my beloved Lions --- That's *OUR* annual national embarrassment Lamar, you putz ), rooted for ex-Wolverine Elvis Grbac when he was the QB ... but fuck it, I have absolutely HAD IT w/ KC!!! will never root for you fuxx again!! learn how to tackle!!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Monday, 19 December 2005 07:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I was offered Shaun Alexander for Priest Holmes the week before the season started. I turned it down.

I lost Priest to injuries and Westbrook to injuries/underusage. I lost Terrell Owens to him being stupid. I dropped Aaron Brooks, who I picked fifth. This was the core of my team. Heartbreaking stuff!

So naturally I led from start to finish and have a great chance to win my two playoff games as well. Go figure.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 19 December 2005 08:12 (eighteen years ago) link

All my hopes and dreams rest on Todd "Uriah" Heap. I need him to have a Chris Cooley-like game to have any chance of winning. ugh.

Here's hoping that he finds "easy livin'" against the Packers D.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Monday, 19 December 2005 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

I've got Chet Taylor and Donald Driver. My opponent has B.J. Sams, Adalius Thomas, and Ryan Longwell. I'm up twenty points.

So to all you degenirate non-gamblers out there grumbling about what a crummy MNF game this is tonight, FEEL FREE TO WATCH "dEAL OR nO dEAL".

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

guhhhh my weird postseason fantasy luck continues WTF

― j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:45 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha -- there's ONE!!

Now just gimme two more Heap!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 02:17 (eighteen years ago) link

that's TWO baby!!

Gimme one more Heap!

Don't be stealin when you shoulda been buying!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 03:56 (eighteen years ago) link

oh wait, actually with yardage I already won! kick-ass.

I am going to celebrate by listening to Uriah Heep's Return to Fantasy lp, as Todd Heap has single-handedly RETURNED me to the fantasy playoff picture!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 04:20 (eighteen years ago) link

And I asked Gado, "Samkon, sometimes there is only one set of footprints in the sand, in my most trying times. Where were you when I needed you?"
And Gado said "That, my son, is when I got carted out in the motherfucking first quarter with a cheapjack injury. Enjoy the consolation rounds!"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:12 (eighteen years ago) link

your team was clearly better than mine, but i'll take it. any given monday night, man....

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Could someone explain how this works? I really want to be involved next season but fr obvious reasons I have exactly zero cultural exposure to this - there's a fantasy draft, right, and everyone puts out 15? 30? players, and then plays matches against each other with whoever scores the most winning? Is there a sort of playoffs, or does the league winner just win?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Fantasy draft, yes. Number of players varies depending on what sort of a league you play in. You can only play a preset number of players in each position; the league we're discussing fields one qb, three wr, 2 rb, 1 kicker, 1 team defense, 2 DB. and 2 DL. There's about 5(?) bench players that can fit any position. The first 14 weeks are all about placement and seeding for the playoffs, with the top eight seeds playing 1/8, 2/7, etc. The final three weeks of the season are the playoffs.
Which I just lost. Spectacularly.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

There aren't byes? Harsh!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 17:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, you have to rejigger your team around whoever's bye week is up. It's a pain, but can lead to some upsets.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 19:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I made the Championship game! My opponent had to bench Peyton Manning! You'd think that I'd be feeling like I'm in the catbird seat, but I'm wondering if Mark Clayton needs to stay in the line-up, should I put Kevin Curtis back in since the Rams might be letting their third-stringers back out, should I really consider dropping Edgerrin James in favor of Dominic Rhodes????

It's the last game of the season. I either win $15 or $265 with my decisions.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 20:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Money!?

I am pretty hyped about this now. Who're the championship games between?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 23:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Money in my league. I'm not involved with the ILNFLFFL.

But for what it's worth, I'm up against Wild Bill Ivy.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 23:55 (eighteen years ago) link

That Wild Bill!

Good luck.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

I cannot accept GOOD LUCK. Good luck is not something that one can distribute nor recieve. GOOD LUCK is not interchangable. Thank you for the kind wishes nonetheless. http://www.khuang.com/chinese/images/sent1.gif http://www.khuang.com/chinese/images/sent1.gif http://www.khuang.com/chinese/images/sent1.gif

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:34 (eighteen years ago) link

(Don't ever say those two words to a degenerate gambler such as myself.)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:35 (eighteen years ago) link

;-)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 22 December 2005 00:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I am in the finals this week and I will not be starting any of my top nine picks because I've dropped them or they're injured. :/

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Saturday, 24 December 2005 17:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 364 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

braylon edwards vs. gb
crabtree vs den
felix jones vs jac
steve smith (car) vs stl
ronnie brown vs cin

gotta pick one for my flex spot
braylon edwards...right?

― iatee, Sunday, 31 October 2010 08:08 (thirteen years ago) link

Foster > 30 points tnite = I win
Foster < 30 points tnite = I lose

― Mordy, Monday, 1 November 2010 16:22 (thirteen years ago) link

Arian Foster is a fantasy champ.

― Mordy, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 03:45 (thirteen years ago) link

ug...so my starters were roddy white and moss da boss.

i picked up kenny britt last week off waivers, but now he's fucked...

i got patrick crayton...

any good sleepers i could look at picking up off waivers?

― moss this, moss that, moss this, moss that (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Blount, maybe? Not much of a sleeper anymore but might still be available in your league?

― Mordy, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Steve Johnson (Bills) has had a TD in the last five games, and usually gets a fair amount of yards. xp

― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:46 (thirteen years ago) link

Mike Thomas?

― a pun based on a popular ilx meme (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 19:05 (thirteen years ago) link

Bookmark fix (compulsory Arian Foster cheers)

― Mordy, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 21:28 (thirteen years ago) link

mordy to the bookmark rescue again. forks, stop fucking around with our threads dude.

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 22:32 (thirteen years ago) link

sry

― a pun based on a popular ilx meme (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 22:45 (thirteen years ago) link

Miles Austin or Mike Williams (Sea)?

― Mordy, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:20 (thirteen years ago) link

Just flip a coin.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 11 November 2010 03:11 (thirteen years ago) link

trying to ship them both off for a WR i can trust

― Mordy, Thursday, 11 November 2010 03:13 (thirteen years ago) link

five years pass...

i know no one cares about yr fantasy football team but i scored the third most points in my league this season and i'm missing the playoffs bc of my matchup record. so lame.

― Mordy, Tuesday, 8 December 2015 13:27 (eight years ago) link

yeah that is miserable

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 8 December 2015 13:40 (eight years ago) link

Seems to be how it goes

― the grimes of claire boucher ('90s on) (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 8 December 2015 14:57 (eight years ago) link

eight months pass...

drafted tnite. thoughts? i feel pretty good tho yahoo algorithmic analysis weren't huge fans.

QB Matt Stafford
WR Antonio Brown
WR Keenan Allen
RB Lesean McCoy
RB Frank Gore
TE Gary Barnidge
WR/TE Flex Jeremy Maclin
K Hauschka
D Cincinnati

Bench
Larry Fitzgerald
DeSean Jackson
Tyler Lockett
Ameer Abdullah
Charles Sims
Zach Miller

― Mordy, Wednesday, 31 August 2016 02:20 (seven years ago) link

the first time in over a decade i'm not fielding a team

― thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Wednesday, 7 September 2016 06:30 (seven years ago) link

No I Love NFL Fantasy League this year makes me sad. :(

― Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 7 September 2016 16:18 (seven years ago) link

i follow the TV writer shawn ryan (the shield, terriers etc.) who made an open pick 'em for a script-winning contest so i joined that, but yeah would be nice to being going up against ilxors

iirc DJP won the pick 'em last year (which was just me, him and johnny fever i think lol)

― if young slothrop don't trust ya i'm gon' rhyme ya (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 7 September 2016 17:19 (seven years ago) link

i never had enough focus to play two leagues (my rl league of record + ilx league) which wasn't really fair to ilx bc i inevitably dropped out of updating roster midway thru season :(

― Mordy, Wednesday, 7 September 2016 17:47 (seven years ago) link

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