Lets Talk About King Missile and the Dead Milkmen

Or "Take Stuff from Work":
"I took a whole desk from the last place I worked. They never noticed, and it looks great in my apartment."

Or "Dick," where the protagonist gets a job offer while masturbating to Wheel of Fortune, and he tells them he'll call them back, because "...he needed to c*m more than he needed a job." (EJACULAAAATION!)

Other releases are patchy, but really, people: Fluting on the Hump.

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

and heavy on the Milkmen,

HS

Dead Milkmen in the end, though. Big Lizard in My Backyard is and remains a perfect album.

socks
the dishwasher
love is...
the commercial
tongue
(somebody should shut me up!
somebody better shut me up that's for sure
somebody should shut my white ass up
sure a chicken fried steak)

the Dead Milkmen's riffs are totally underrated. Some of their licks are totally unlike anything recorded by anyone else, and Joe Jack Talcum is one of the most underrecognized guitarists of his generation. listen to "Blood Orgy of the Atomic Fern", "Ringo Buys a Rifle", "Stuart," "I Against Osbourne," "Smoking Banana Peels," or "City of Mud." They sound nothing like the work of any other guitarist I can think of. Easy to overlook because of their funny lyrics, but this was an innovative band in many ways. Dave Blood was a damn good bassist too.

I love how he sneeringly says "dey-peshy MODE" as well.

He says Depeche Comode, actually.

Results 1 - 10 of about 6,470 for depeche commode. (0.07 seconds)

Alex in NYC otm re: Metaphysical Graffitti

Gary and Melissa also got to me. That one is also killer.

I will say those bands from the late 80s into the 90s had a particular kind of comedic flare when you also include They Might Be Giants, Mojo Nixon, and The Butthole Surfers (who were not always funny, but god some of their music and lyrics are pretty funny).

I was at Sophie's Bar on Fifth Street
This woman was trying to impress me or something
She told me she had done it all sexually
She had heard it all
She had seen it all
And she had done it all sexually
She said she was jaded
So I asked her if she had
ever been double fucked by
two black studs
And she didn't tell me
She just got up and left
So I figured she probably hadn't

Your father fucked your mother.

At least once, your father and your mother were in bed, and your father got a hard-on, and he stuck it inside your mother and they fucked. Sometimes maybe your father fucked your mother in the ass, and maybe on the night that you were conceived maybe they did that, before or after, or maybe they didn't, maybe your father never fucked your mother's ass, but on the night that you were conceived, one thing is certain: your father fucked your mother in her cunt.

Maybe your mother sucked your father's dick first, and maybe your father ate your mother's pussy. Maybe your father sucked your mother's clit while sticking a finger or two up your mother's slit until she got really wet. Maybe he got his whole hand up there. If you have older brothers or sisters, then your father probably could have gotten his whole hand up there. If not, then maybe not. But at some point, your mother was wet and loose enough to accommodate your father, and they fucked.

Maybe they did it doggy-style. Maybe your mother got on top of your father. Maybe your parents liked to talk dirty to each other when they were fucking.

Maybe your mother screamed, "Oh daddy. Oh daddy. Fuck me, daddy, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," and then maybe your daddy shouted, "Here it comes! Here it comes! Get ready, bitch, here I come," and then maybe your mother said, "Come in me, come in me, come in me! Oh yeah, baby, fuck your mommy, fuck your momma's sweet pussy, oh yeah, daddy, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah."

Or maybe they were very quiet.

But at any rate, eventually your father came and his sperm shot out of his dick and it went up your mother's cunt and it fertilized her egg and that was you. That was you in your mother's womb, growing like a virus for nine months, making your mother fatter and fatter, making her sick, making her vomit, making her hate your father for doing this to her, making her hate you, this thing inside of her, like a virus, growing and sucking, like a leech attached to her, sucking her blood, drinking her like a vampire fetus, growing and sucking and growing and sucking until one day you want out, and you burst through the snotty membrane and you pop out of your mother's cunt all covered with blood, and a bloody umbilical cord still attaches you to the inside of your mother somewhere 'til someone snips it off and you are severed. You are a separate being.

This is the miracle of childbirth. To some, it is proof that there is a God.

Now after you were born, maybe you sucked milk out of your mother's tit. Maybe your father wiped the shit off your shitty ass. I don't know. You'll have to ask them. But that is basically the way people are born. In a nutshell, that is it. Unless you were a test tube baby, which you weren't, so just face it: your father fucked your mother, and the next time you're fucking somebody, just try to keep that in mind.

I never did have that Nelson Reilly orgy I planned lo those many years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7ufmuvVtHc

John S. Hall was the first famous person I ever encountered on the internet, as he was very active on the King Missile forum on AOL back in the day. I really like their Dog Fly Religion years.

Cherry on the top like a nuclear warhead
Nuclear bomb gonna lick the trigger
I had a dog fly religion
Neutron on a chocolate sundae

Look mom, fallout is stuck between my teeth
Atomic toothpick picks the tartar
Clean it out like a yum yum yum
Then blow out my brains with a shotgun gun
I had a smile like old Jim Dandy
Radio, radioactive candy

Yum yum yum cherry on the top
Bob and beep and boop and bop
Gonna eat tons of snot
Then blow out my brains with a shotgun gun
Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun

Potato dog, dogs and flies
Real dull spoon will

PLUCK OUT MY EYES!

Pluck out my eyes on Sunday
Blow out my brains on Tuesday!

This is amazing

http://deadspin.com/5913186/a-dead-milkman-breaks-down-the-citizen-kane-of-white-trash-punch+out-videos-for-us

Bumping this because trust me on that link.

Can't watch this yet because I'm at work, but Rodney Anonymous is one of the most hilarious people in music. The guy should have had another platform for his comedy after the Dead Milkmen.

Here's an unexpected cover: an NPR-friendly version of King Missile's "Hemophiliac of Love" (written by Dogbowl a.k.a Stephen Tunney) by Adrien Reju with guest artist Carl Newman (of the New Pornographers, AC Newman, etc.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3V3JjvjejQ

I was curious about this, so a little Googling revealed this article: https://glidemagazine.com/145570/album-premiereinterview-adrien-reju-strange-love-secret-language/

"When I began searching for cover songs for the album (I was looking in particular for songs under the theme of unconventional love) I immediately thought to ask Carl for a recommendation. He has such an immense library of obscure music that I thought he would be able to pull some gem out of it for me. That’s how 'Hemophiliac of Love' by King Missile ended up on the album. I thought it only appropriate to ask him to sing it with me as a duet and he reluctantly obliged (kidding)."

All this beauty/and all those wolves...