Hellboy rules.

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I think Hellboy the comic =
10 unseen ancient evil lurks in half-black panels
20 evil pops up
30 Hellboy clobbers it
40 GOTO 10.

Now if Hellboy the film =
10 well-explained evil lurks in clouds of mustard gas
20 evil jumps around and around in shoddy CGI shots
30 Hellboy clobbers it
40 GOTO 20
...I wouldn't want to see it, really.

Herbstmute (Wintermute), Thursday, 27 November 2003 23:51 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...
I'm still excited about this movie.

adam (adam), Monday, 2 February 2004 18:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Sam OTM! I can't believe there was already a Hellboy that wasn't Rake Yohn!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 2 February 2004 18:16 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...
i know nothing about the comic, but this movie looks like it might be very fun. and selma blair looks foxy in the previews

ryan (ryan), Thursday, 11 March 2004 18:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I am...HELLBOY!

The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, 18 March 2004 19:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Let's see those filed-down horns, buddy.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 March 2004 19:15 (fifteen years ago) link

gimma some candy first!

The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, 18 March 2004 19:15 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
Bump. Tell me good things.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 2 April 2004 12:51 (fifteen years ago) link

I just got the press kit from my boss! It's pretty whatever, except that it has a dossier with the B.P.R.D. letterheard on it. I'm the coolest geek in the office!

The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Friday, 2 April 2004 16:03 (fifteen years ago) link

A finer film has never been crafted by human hands. Perhaps the only flaw was the distinct absence of giant apes/monkeys with huge bolts jutting from their necks (a favorite motif of Mignola's, along with Nazis, and Satan, and sometimes Nazi monkeys, I guess).

Belgian Rofflez (Adrian Langston), Saturday, 3 April 2004 05:31 (fifteen years ago) link

NAZI MONKEYS?

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 3 April 2004 06:16 (fifteen years ago) link

All monkeys are nazis.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 3 April 2004 13:07 (fifteen years ago) link

i thot that it lost some of the physical gorgeousness and alot of the kitsch/camp/deconstructive/satrical elements.

the moralizing was too obv. in places, and abe sabien didnt have enough lines.

still fine film, lots of phun, gr8 adventure, et. al

anthony, Saturday, 3 April 2004 13:16 (fifteen years ago) link

I haven't seen this, but the case had to be made for monkeys = nazis.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 3 April 2004 13:18 (fifteen years ago) link

i gotta see this!

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link

I got up early this morning to get work done so that I can make the case for seeing this and Scooby Doo 2 or Starsky & Hutch tomorrow (depending on which is at the same theater).

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Scooby Doo 2??? What kind of masochist are you, Tep?

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:40 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't even explain why I like the Scooby Doo movie! It isn't that it's good. It isn't that I liked the cartoon, because I hated it as a kid and am indifferent to it now. I just like it. The second one looks a lot like the first, but with no Rowan Atkinson and more Seth Green, which is happy math.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:44 (fifteen years ago) link

(Plus, Hellboy/Scooby = monster-bashing double feature.)

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:45 (fifteen years ago) link

B-b-b-but Freddy Prinze Jr.!

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Tep's love does not compute.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh, I know, Freddy Prinze Jr is terrible in it. He should only do straight-to-video House of Yes sequels in which he is the only original actor to appear.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:48 (fifteen years ago) link

This isn't even ironic love or anything. I like the movie, I just don't know why. Matthew Lillard and Linda Cardellini, maybe.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 15:48 (fifteen years ago) link

i'm so worried i'll end up seeing scooby 2 as i've recently finished buffy and am in quite a state! i could so get suckered into seeing smg and seth green in the original scooby gang!

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 3 April 2004 16:45 (fifteen years ago) link

SEE?

And not just Seth Green but Seth Green in scenes with Linda Cardellini. C'mon, that's cool. Would it be cooler without a cartoon dog? Sure, but what wouldn't? The world's an imperfect place.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 16:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Hellboy good. Flawed but RP is fucking great. I hope to see Toys R Us all Hellboyed out next time I'm there.

adam (adam), Saturday, 3 April 2004 17:26 (fifteen years ago) link

some review i read somewhere compared perlman to lon chaney, career-wise, and i actually think that's pretty apt!

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 3 April 2004 17:28 (fifteen years ago) link

He was underused in Looney Toons: Back in Action, which unfortunately meant more screen time for my least favorite Steve Martin performance ever.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 17:34 (fifteen years ago) link

that looked like a DREADFUL performance.

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 3 April 2004 17:38 (fifteen years ago) link

I really like the movie (road trip spy zaniness + cartoons, how could I not?) and I really like Steve Martin when he's great (The Jerk, L.A. Story), but yow, yes, it was painful.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 3 April 2004 18:12 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah, steve martin at the top of his game is awesome, but he's become pretty tiresome lately (especially those shitty "literary" humour pieces he does for the new yorker)

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 3 April 2004 18:54 (fifteen years ago) link

Best movie ever.

Leee O'Gaddi (Leee), Sunday, 4 April 2004 00:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Agent Clay's plugs? Scared the hell out of me!

Leee O'Gaddi (Leee), Sunday, 4 April 2004 00:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Loved it.
Certainly not without its shortcomings, but a great adventure movie. I loved the way Hellboy kept getting beat up inthe first half of the movie, just like Indiana Jones in Raiders.
I kinda felt like they tried to tell too big of a story in too small of a movie though. But I've been wearing my big, stupid fanboy grin for the last 14 hours. I even had a dream about the sequel last night.

Huck, Sunday, 4 April 2004 18:32 (fifteen years ago) link

Just came back from it, it was great. The ending let me down a little. Not that it's crappy, or stupid, or involves some last-minute thing from out of left field, it just wasn't as good as the rest. Ron Perlman is great, though! And the lack of $20 million salaries in the cast ought to make a sequel perfectly feasible.

(The other similarity to Indiana Jones: it would be really easy to do a sequel to this movie without it feeling the least bit forced or tacked on.)

Through the whole movie, I thought Abe was voiced by David Hyde Pierce. And when John Hurt's name rolled in the credits, I couldn't figure out who he'd played. I'm usually better at recognizing people.

(No Scooby or Starsky double feature today, I got plenty done yesterday but the girlfriend didn't.)

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 4 April 2004 19:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Hurt was Broome, and yeah, DHP, otm.
My dream about the sequel was actually a prequelly kinda thing called Hellboy:The Lost Years.
What I don't like about movies based on comics is that everything has to have weight and impact. Whereas in the comics, since there are like 12 sotires a year, writers can afford some just plain casual adventuring, which is honestly my favourite kind. I mean, I'm not against saving the world, that's a good thing to do, but I also like to see heroes come up against less cataclysmic stuff. Cuz anyone can prevent the end of the world and walk away a hero, but what about more normal stuff, like, uh, going to the dentist.
I guess that's why I liked the live-action Tick series so much.

Huck, Sunday, 4 April 2004 20:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Really nicely done (definitely better than any recent comic adaptation. . . pretty clever, some great FX, good one-liners, decent acting all around, but really good performance from Perlman.)

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Sunday, 4 April 2004 20:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Through the whole movie, I thought Abe was voiced by David Hyde Pierce.

But he is, isn't he?

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 5 April 2004 00:54 (fifteen years ago) link

Someone just told me he was; around the times the credits rolled is when my migraine set in, so all I saw was "Abe ... so-and-so," which I guess is the body actor. I didn't see DHP in the credits, but apparently, yep, he was the voice. (DHP didn't want to be in a fishman suit?)

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 00:57 (fifteen years ago) link

I am very excited to see this.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 5 April 2004 00:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Hey, are the Blade movies any good? I've always been curious about them...

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 5 April 2004 00:59 (fifteen years ago) link

I am in a big comic book movie mood right now.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:00 (fifteen years ago) link

the first one is SO!!! AWESOME!!!

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:00 (fifteen years ago) link

the second one stinks.

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:00 (fifteen years ago) link

I think they're both pretty good.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:02 (fifteen years ago) link

I think adam might appreciate Ron Perlman's blatant theft of the second movie. Which can't be more than 1/10 below the first.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:03 (fifteen years ago) link

The first Blade is very good; I've never seen the entirety of the second, for some reason (I've never rented it, just caught it on cable, and either it doesn't grab me or it just shows up when I'm easily distracted/doing other things -- I don't know which). But if you're excited to see Hellboy, you'd probably love Blade.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:05 (fifteen years ago) link

What else????

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:09 (fifteen years ago) link

superman 1!!!

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 5 April 2004 01:11 (fifteen years ago) link

lol i literally contradicted myself in the other Hellboy thread. I rewatched both recently though and the very particular del Toro auteurism was more impressive on these viewings. the first trailer of this new one did look cool but the last one or two were troublesome. the funny lines didn't land and the direction looked very boilerplate. The Hellboy universe goes a long way with its inherent creativity, maybe there'd be some appeal there. but idk.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:02 (ten months ago) link

so much for my high hopes... by all accounts this one’s a fright pig. feel bad for Harbour and for Mignola, whose work deserves better

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Saturday, 13 April 2019 02:49 (ten months ago) link

Such a shame. I really like a bunch of Marshall's B grade horror/historical films: "Dog Soldiers", "Centurion", "The Descent" - and was hoping he'd stay away from the cutesy GDT-isms and get at that sweet Mignola creepiness. Seems this is just a Z grade mimic'ing of the Del Toro stuff.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 14:30 (ten months ago) link

so I ended up seeing this after all. it’s overstuffed and undercooked but really not half as bad as golden army and much closer in spirit to the books, which remain unassailable.

a less corny soundtrack and maybe pulling two or three cheesy fight scenes would have helped a lot.

they tried to do way too much and presumably won’t get a second swing, but god bless ‘em for trying. McShane’s as wasted as he is in American Gods but Harbour’s a gem throughout.

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Sunday, 14 April 2019 04:53 (ten months ago) link

The previews made it seem a bit Guy Richie Does Hellboy, which seems v. unlike the comic

Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 14 April 2019 11:31 (ten months ago) link

just to be clear, this is not a good movie. and there are def bits of that, though if anything more Matthew Vaughn than Guy Ritchie. i mean, there are bits of everything. you could cut a trailer that made this thing look like Attack the Block. my take is just, huh, it's not as bad as I expected.

the fatal flaw is that the producers think bc HELLBOY is a comic book, Hellboy has to be a superhero. i'd hoped this one would steer away from the CGI action crap and toward the horror/pulp/melancholy/weird tale elements but aside from one or two shots, nope.

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Sunday, 14 April 2019 14:42 (ten months ago) link

I remember at the very least The Golden Army (which I only saw that once, back when) looked gorgeous. From its trailers this one looks like a CGI public toilet.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 14 April 2019 14:48 (ten months ago) link

an overhaul of the soundtrack alone would make this 50% better

gbx, Sunday, 14 April 2019 15:05 (ten months ago) link

an overhaul of the soundtrack alone would make this 50% better


who’s gonna volunteer to do the fan cut?

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:28 (ten months ago) link

Yeah wasn't great was it.
& it seems to want to be the first of several.
Seemed like a lot of lines were off rhythm or something.
Wonder how many people stayed for the post credits scenes.

Stevolende, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 17:00 (ten months ago) link

nine months pass...

Started watching this on Netflix. Barely 20 minutes in and we've had mediaeval england with king arthur and merlin and a bad witch, present day mexico where hellboy takes down a large bat-winged vampire, quick usa interlude to introduce ian mcshane, scene with baba yaga and unseen entity swearing revenge on hellboy, trip to england to talk about taking down three giants, flashback to hellboy birth scene, and then an unknown monastery terrorized by a large were-hog. It's a fuckin' mess is what it is.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 18 January 2020 19:27 (one month ago) link

'this' = the 2019 film.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 18 January 2020 19:28 (one month ago) link

all that is in the books.

https://www.comixology.co.uk/Hellboy-Omnibus-Vol-3-The-Wild-Hunt/digital-comic/691767?ref=YnJvd3NlL3NhbGUvZGVza3RvcC9ncmlkTGlzdC8zMzAwNg

(at least with the books you can control the speed)

koogs, Saturday, 18 January 2020 20:20 (one month ago) link

Or all that stuff might happen spread across four series in six years.

don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Saturday, 18 January 2020 20:32 (one month ago) link

at least with the books you don't have absolutely appalling green-screen work either.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 18 January 2020 20:36 (one month ago) link

could've been worse - the earlier books are full of cthulu and nazis.

koogs, Saturday, 18 January 2020 20:38 (one month ago) link

(i read 3rd and 4th omnibus one after the other, about 1000 pages total, didn't really know how it split into series or the release schedules. it was quite a ride)

koogs, Saturday, 18 January 2020 20:46 (one month ago) link

cthulhu stuff in the del toro film was great iirc.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 18 January 2020 21:11 (one month ago) link

i carried on to the end, funny how hellboy's story arc is so similar to the del toro film. baba yaga and the giant demons at the end were kind of cool, if they made another one and the story was a bit leaner and cgi better i'd watch it - i mean i'd probably watch it anyway since i make bad decisions about how to spend my time.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 18 January 2020 21:46 (one month ago) link

true of all ilxors iirc

except me

mark s, Saturday, 18 January 2020 22:10 (one month ago) link

yeah this one kinda broke my heart in that they got a lot right but tried to cram so much in and then erect a single dumb Big Bad on top of that quicksand that it was almost unwatchable. idk maybe it's like a transformers movie in that it might actually work better if you were high af with no access to concepts of cause and effect and it was just, like, a bunch of stuff happening.

harbour did his level best with it all and i'm sorry he won't get another shot. ledge didn't even mention that technically the wild hunt was in there too lol, plus the twilight of the fay.

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Sunday, 19 January 2020 22:09 (one month ago) link


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