I have a big ass

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (649 of them)

Shut up pf, you're freaking me out.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You know, if a gay man tells me that I have nice tits, then I take it as a double compliment, because then I know it's a purely aesthetic judgement, instead of a prurient one. So thank you, Anthony, you have made my day.

Paul, stop being couply in public! What have I told you about PDAs!

And Nick and Pinefox, stop being such bitter old curmudgeons about Paul's PDAs!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Some old geezer in his 70s came up to me once as I was weeping into my cigarette outside the doctor's (I had just had my bag stolen w/ mobile, wallet, house keys, CD walkman, brand new CD, lipstick stolen and was overreacting a little). He informed me I looked great from behind. Only somehow he managed to make it sound more flattering than that whilst simultaneously implying it (my arse) was not all that small, how did that work? He then went on to express amazement at my singleness and disgust at all men in London for this state. He clearly could not believe that someone with such a, er, 'rounded' arse could remain single.

But it did stop me from crying for a bit.... Although if any man under 40 says I have a big ass I will thump him very hard.

― Emma, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Please teach me how to appreciate the difference between prurient and aesthetic appreciation of your tits, Kate. Just so I know.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have always thought your arse was perfectly formed Emma. Its the rest of you that lets you down.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I once got an offer for a blow job from a 70 year old
I laughed and told him i really didn't feel like being gummed
I feel bad about that.

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It really depends on what is said, and how it is said, Nick. Clearly, a gay man is not going to have any prurient interest in me, so it's not an issue.

It's more the difference between being told that you look nice, and having someone drooling and holding a conversation with your nipples. I am proud of my breasts, they are the most attractive thing about me physically. So it's OK to notice them. It's just not OK to treat them as if they are the ONLY thing about me.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My problem is finding an aspect of my physical appearance that doesn't bug me.

― Nicole, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am saying ALLY DOES NOT HAVE A BIG ASS. (It's true, really.)

But, if all you bootylicious mamas & papas are looking to tighten up your trunk space, the best solution (as far as I can tell) is to hook up with yours truly. Around me and my pick-up trunk, your derierres will look like Yugos.

Which is why I've been half-heartedly exercising the past month, while eating exactly the same as I have for the past 2 years. Hence, not much progress...hmm...

― David Raposa, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I once wore some rather, er, tight trousers and witnessed numerous people have conversations with my crotch and my buttocks, so I know what Kate means. I daresay my crotch and buttocks were more interesting conversationalists to boot...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My ass is NOT covered in cellulite or veins, so I guess I don't have J-Lo booty. I've been fairly lucky, my cellulite gene seems to come from my dad's side of the family, which despite being distinctively not thin (besides one aunt who is rail sized), has no cellulite.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am, of course, very polite about not having conversations with breasts. I just queried your aesthetic/prurient distinction. Sometimes I stare and stare at things for aesthetic reasons, and I am quite capable of being discreet about my prurient thoughts. Don't assume that because a man is looking you in the eye they aren't consumed by ruttish thoughts.

Added to which, not being gay, I find it hard to distinguish between aesthetic and sexual appreciation of the breast. Artists are supposed to be able to do it, I suppose, but I'm not sure I trust them. Lustbeautycrazysexycool - let's not draw lines.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ally, that means you have stolen La Lopez's crown. I suggest you insure your ass for several million dollars and quit dietting right now.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

If you are staring at breasts, that is wrong. It's rude to stare, no matter WHAT the object is. I mean, how would you like it if I stared at your fringe all night?

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Kate, when you go and see Fonda 500 you always stare at a certain person's fringe all night!

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Only if I can start dressing like her all the time, including at work. Then I shall insure my ass.

― Ally, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Naturally, I don't know what a PDA is. If I think I am a curmudgeon I'll say so. It's none of your business.

― the pinefox, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah, but Nick Fonda 500 has the BEST HAIR IN POP!!! If he didn't want us to stare, he wouldn't make it do tricks. Like Rachel and her tits- if she didn't want people to stare, she wouldn't have got them out!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh, and Public Display of Affection.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You know, for ages I thought a PDA was a palm pilot or something like that...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It's rude to stare, no matter WHAT the object is. I mean, how would you like it if I stared at your fringe all night?

I'd be honoured. Though I concede that it would be at my flatmate's and my discretion. What about public property/property of one's own, though? I mean I'm often staring at TVs, paintings and stuff. Is that a no-no?

Anyway, like I say, I don't stare at women's chests. Unless it's from the top of a bus and they can't see me. Although I probably have enough of a glance to let them know that I have noticed them, thus fulfilling both your wishes. I am best.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Having thought about it I would rather someone stared at my tits than my arse when I was talking to them. I do not mind men looking as it reminds me what base animal instincts they have at times..... however I would prefer them to at least look surreptitiously and show a little civilisation.

― Emma, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Kate, when I saw your band support Camera Obscura, everyone was staring at your keyboardist's (? - could have been bassist or something - can't really remember) arse. It was clearly on display through a big split in her dress. Was this deliberate? Were we bad to stare? It was quite the talking point.

Like Rachel and her tits- if she didn't want people to stare, she wouldn't have got them out! Bollocks! They're her tits and just cause they're out doesn't give people the right to stare. Next you'll be saying that wearing a low-cut or tight top gives people the right to stare. It's a slippery slope.

― Nick, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nick: I was at that gig and what you say is simply not true. I could produce reams of witnesses to back me up.

Who's 'Rachel'? Is it worth knowing the answer?

― the pinefox, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Breasts revealed..... slippery slope...... ick!

Anyway. The thing with wearing tight / low cut tops is you know and expect that people will look. The problem is (for me) that there are some people I want to look but the vast majority of people should not be looking. So next time I wear a tight / low cut top I will just have to shout 'not you! stop perving at my tits you perv!' at anyone who is not supposed to be looking......anyone who is allowed to look can carry on regardless.

Phew, this sexual politics stuff is very complicated.

― Emma, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am not going to get started on Rachel (our keyboardist) and her attire (Yes, she was showing her arse at the Garage. Yes, she was showing her tits at the Spitz) because 1) we've agreed to make a show of solidarity with band members, and 2) because it generated a debate which nearly split our mailing list and, indeed, even our band in two.

It's hard for me to discuss Rachel's clothing, because I know her too well to be able to separate the abstract sexual politics behind them from her supposed reasons for wearing them, and from my own perceived and inferred ideas about what is prompting her.

My opinion on clothes is such... if you wear something deliberately attention getting, then you can't be surprised and complain at the attention that you get. Yes, women should be allowed to have the freedom to wear whatever they like without being exposed to the prurient male gaze. *BUT* if you go out of your way to shock, provoke and titilate, you can't be that surprised if the response if negative.

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have to back Nick up, as soon as I walked into the Lollies supporting Camera Obscura, one of my friends (female) came up to me and said "have you seen that dress? you can clearly see her arse"

and you could you know.

― cabbage, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have a long neck, and kind of small & definitely lop-sided chin. I shouldn't have any hanging neck, but because one side of my chin is a little smaller, if I put my head up real straight (which is rare) one side of my neck appears to hang! Unfortunately there is also more (or looser?) jaw muscle on that side of my neck! So, sometimes it looks like I've got half a little double chin, when in fact I have none! AND, the skin under my neck isn't LOOSE! It's not hanging away from the muscle. Isn't that a pisser?! So, when I DO get fat, my neck should look disgusting and warped like i have a tumor.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

fat bottom girls (&guys) they make this rocking world go round

― Geoff, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

What annoys me is that I dress provocatively at *every* Strange Fruit and no-one ever even notices. Hmph.

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hey, I've noticed. Not that it provoked me in the right way, unless you're trying to get a reaction along the lines of 'take that wig off yer daft sod'.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

To think the amount of effort I put in... all for naught! :)

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm going to take this opportunity to say I have the nicest arse in Christendom. But I'm also a fattie, but that doesn't seem to affect the aforementioned posterior. However, try finding an outfit that emphasises ARSE but not GREAT FAT BELLY. I can't.

― DG, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish I had smaller boobs.

― Madchen, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I wish I had smaller boobs too.

― Pete, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hey, the wig fucking ROCKED!!! (Too bad the matching blonde one that I had was stolen by evil ligging Jesse) As did the silver jeans...

However, the flares, the platform boots and the polyester shirts that made Dickon go mad have all been banned...

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Pretty soon I'll have to start walking around naked because most of my damn wardrobe seems to have been banned. Nothing wrong with polyester...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I also wish my boobs were smaller.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Walking around naked... mmmmmmmmmmm... What a brilliant idea! All your clothes are going in Oxfam tonight!

― masonic boom, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You are the only person who would appreciate that Kate! I'm coming home, I think...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is this thread dead now or can I add that I would give my body the abilit y to tan, a leaner figure, no chin fatness, better teeth, a larger cock, less complexion troubles, a jaw that fits top to bottum, and black hair

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You wear a wig Paul, That is so Andy !

― anthony, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have no ass. My skin is terrible. I have a Buddha belly. I have a gap between my two front teeth. I have cellulite and stretch marks. My eyebrows are oddly shaped in a way that doesn't complement my eyes. My hair is an unruly, frizzy, greenish-brown mass. I think that's about it. Oh yeah, my head is huge and just doesn't look right on my 5'4" frame. And I'm one of those people that was meant to be Calista Flockhart skinny but ended up Roseanne fat due to an illness...

― Melissa W, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

No one is supposed to be Calista Flockhart skinny! No one should be Calista Flockhart skinny!

Of course, no one should be Roseanne fat either.

― tOM p, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Okay, maybe not Calista-skinny. But fairly skinny. I was not meant to carry weight at all.

― Melissa W, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I can also back Nick up abput that gig, the Pinefox is talking rubbish. Bodyparts - at times my piggy nose seems to take over my whole face and look hideous. Then the next day it looks alright. But I suppose I don't really hate anything about my body, as such. I've come to realise that it's really not that bad.

― Ally C, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

male gaze... i've never u nderstood how it is demeaning and debasing. if i'm going to stare it is because i see something i consider beautiful. and hot. it's presumptuous and needlessly guilty for me to second guess the breasts owners personalitity.

― matthew james, Friday, 13 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Staring at breasts: done. Staring at crotches: the new in thing.

― Sterling Clover, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

We call them baskets. Like check out his basket.

― anthony, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

No, Cookie, I am not talking rubbish. You are. You and Nick D's representation of that gig has nothing in common with my experience of it. I seem to remember it consisting of Mooro dashing off one- liners and Stevie T talking about pipedreams of ironic pop conceptualism.

― the pinefox, Saturday, 14 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Skipping 549 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i am soft and cuddly. i never asked for this.

― kenan, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:12 (seventeen years ago) link

small hands

― gbx, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:15 (seventeen years ago) link

you know what that means, don't you?

har har lolz gbx hung like raisin etc

― kenan, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:22 (seventeen years ago) link

shut up kenan

― gbx, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:25 (seventeen years ago) link

haha

― lfam, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:43 (seventeen years ago) link

http://myspace-295.vo.llnwd.net/00084/59/29/84489295_m.jpg

Sometimes my webbed feet make shoe-shopping a pain.

― Maria :D, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:44 (seventeen years ago) link

my face is red all the time for some reason. it bugs me.

― t0dd swiss, Friday, 2 March 2007 01:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I once got an offer for a blow job from a 70 year old
I laughed and told him i really didn't feel like being gummed
I feel bad about that.

anthony on Thursday, July 12, 2001 8:00 PM (5 years ago)

― forksclovetofu, Friday, 2 March 2007 02:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Posture

― peepee, Friday, 2 March 2007 03:04 (seventeen years ago) link

I really hope I did not post here about my big ass

― HI DERE, Friday, 2 March 2007 03:15 (seventeen years ago) link

nine months pass...

the first signs of jigglage in my entire life in my chestal area. and I'm still thin as hell (under 170 pounds), but for the first time in my life I gain weight!

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:46 (sixteen years ago) link

not that manboobs are in the future since I still look like Waldo

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:48 (sixteen years ago) link

SUnrise, sunset...

were you jumping on a trampoline during this epiphany?

― Abbott, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:56 (sixteen years ago) link

No, Kriss Kross was playing....

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:57 (sixteen years ago) link

It wasn't your fault that you missed the bus. :(

― Abbott, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:58 (sixteen years ago) link

I still have that cassingle somewhere....

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 02:58 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm a pretty boy. I lack several uberman qualities. On the other hand, I am great at being an insufferable jackass when I want to be one.

― CaptainLorax, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 03:57 (sixteen years ago) link

What are you on about?

― W4LTER, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 04:03 (sixteen years ago) link

What we need here is a jpeg of a steatopygous female. I am sure it will make Ally feel better. I rather like this one:

http://www.cryptomundo.com/wp-content/uploads/steatopygia.jpg

― Aimless, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 04:18 (sixteen years ago) link

baby's got... soul
http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/5789/l312c86e2de2f0aad9dad99uy2.jpg

― CaptainLorax, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 05:34 (sixteen years ago) link

where's adam schefter been lately, anyway?

― kingfish, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 05:39 (sixteen years ago) link

Running around on Facebook.

― nathalie, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 08:30 (sixteen years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.