Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

How's the popcorn sitch, jvc??

^^^this is important

I think he said she's on vacation?

Oh, I guess I missed that.

My boss just popped a bag of popcorn. But that's fine b/c a) she very rarely does that and b) I have anosmia, so she could slow roast pig manure and I wouldn't know the difference.

did you just put a shower head on full over the yoilet or did you pee?

Email to office reminding people to wash dishes, etc... From the person who least frequently washes dishes...

use paper plates duh!

The popcorn girl is obviously a total idiot; but it can't be overlooked that "the smell of popcorn gives me headaches" is some fucking straight-no-chaser liar liar bullshit.

what about kettle corn

reminds me of the girl in my senior class who had terrible body odor, so one of my classmates had his mother report to the administration that her stink was giving him asthma attacks

why doesn't she just pop a ton of corn at home and bring it to work in bags?

Because cold popcorn tastes awful?

no, i'm pretty sure that if i had to smell burnt popcorn every day, i'd have headaches, too.

seems like this thread has been talking abt popcorn for circa a year and a half, that ain't natural

Jvc has abandoned us. Or he's in the ICU, being treated for acute popcorn poisoning.

the dreaded popcorn lung

My coworker has been talking to himself all morning (as he does) and just announced "talking to a brick wall."

Unfortunately there's nothing new to report, never heard any further word from either supposed headache victim or popcorn lung sufferer.

Is she still popping corn?

imo you gotta start eating cabbage and beans for breakfast everyday, move your desk closer to hers, and when she starts complaining about the headaches your flatulence is giving her, start yelling 'IT'S MY GODDAMN CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO FART WHERE I LIKE'.

lol ^^^

This week she's backed down to only once a day, thankfully.

the worst is when you put the unpopped kernals IN your lungs and then go through security at the airport and you get hyperpneumopopcornia

Okay, popcorn girl has instantly been knocked off the top of my most annoying list and replaced by whomever decided to heat up a foul-smelling fish meal in the microwave. Who does that? It smells like death in here now.

Maybe it's her trying to stop being annoying, be careful what you wish for and all that?

jon, the popcorn girl in our office microwaved fish on friday, which she helpfully and apologetically explained to my boss that she tried to cover up the smell in the kitchen by spraying room deoderizer. I declined to go check it out.

No, this wasn't the same girl actually.

deodorizer

Hey if you're printing a 30-page double-sided document that for some reason slows the printer to an almost complete standstill, I appreciate your initiative in printing it on another printer. I appreciate slightly less your leaving the original one still working away and then SENDING IT AGAIN and me having to point out to you about three times that it might be helpful for you to delete it from your print queue so the 50,000 other documents queued up for the past hour can be printed sometime this month.

- Guy breathing like he's on a ventilator.

- Talking lyrics guy is at it again, doing Shatneresque renditions of Bowie songs.

- Guy who sends me emails then follows them up the office to say "did you get my email?"

Its always amusing when you know your boss is slacking off so you can just be like "right then, me as well" and head to ILE

Ugh STOP RUBBING PERFUME ON YOURSELF 20 TIMES A DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

doing Shatneresque renditions of Bowie songs.

^hero

That reminds me, I wonder what ever became of Steve.n 's odd tourrettic singing workmate?

Steve now has a cushy job and gets to work from home, so the only person singing badly at his workplace is himself.

sweet

though i always thought he had a lovely voice

Would that I could work from home. Then I could post on here and bitch about myself.

I don't know why this bugs me, but it does: The associate atty. at my office brings in some pretty nice-looking lunches - homemade pasta and rice dishes, leftovers from good restaurants - but he never eats 9 out of 10 of them. Instead he goes to Jimmy John's or the so-so cafe down the street for sandwiches (and he always gets exactly the same things: from JJ, the #2, which is roast beef, and from the cafe, a turkey and emmenthal cheese sandwich; these selections never ever vary, which annoys me too). I think part of what bugs me is that his fiancee is a chef, and I'm guessing she put together some pretty rad dishes, which he eschews for fucking mundane subs. Also, he is pretty narrow-visioned (can't think of a word for it) and I feel like he auto-pilots right past the fridge and to his subs.

His habits in no way harm me, but they're still annoying.

can you eat his lunches for him?

he's narrow-visioned = much easier to pull a mission-impossible style tupperwear identity-swap heist caper type thing

Girl down the hall with a Kill Bill Daryl Hannah whistling ringtone cranked up full blast.

Teeth-noise knuckle-rapping dude has boiled some soy sauce for his lunch in the kitchen area four feet behind my desk. Forty five minutes into a particularly smelly spate of mouth noises and desk tapping.

I need help. There is a disgusting savage / fat ugly guy / ogre blasting music so bad I can't even think. I have developed the patience to suffer in silence for moderate amounts of time in special occasions but this behavior is getting more frequent and arbitrary. I already talked to my nearest coworker about the situation and he said that I should be super polite to him because he gets angry very easily but I'm afraid I won't be able to contain my utmost contempt thus making the situation even worse. It's a bro office, I can't go directly to the boss without looking like a complete homo.

Man thats a shame that your boss might think you like to have sex with other men.

headphones/earplugs.

I try v hard to be polite to people at all times and the annoying co-worker is not a bad person, this is just days and days of frustration talking.

Is the problem the volume or his taste in music? I'm sorry his fatness and ugliness makes it worse for you.

it was sad he suffered in silence for moderate amounts of time in special occasions

It's office politics funny guy N.1 I have to choose my battles carefully. Already did the headphones thing and it didn't work, earplugs = even worse homo. Antonio I love fat ugly people as long as they don't push their ugly taste in my direction. I don't play Pan Sonic at full volume after coffee I shouldn't have to deal with this bullshit.

Maybe he suffers in silence about having to work with a dude who is casually homophobic.