anticipate (and play along with hoos) roland emmerich's 2012

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received this today

Greetings,

As the Communications Director of the Institute for Human Continuity, I'd like to thank you for taking an active role in preparing yourself for 2012. Please note your ticket is only valid for one person. Therefore, we strongly suggest that you encourage your friends and family to register for lottery numbers at TheIHC.com.

The IHC has uncovered evidence indicating that the disasters of 2012 are both real and unavoidable. We believe with 94% certainty that exactly four years from today, cataclysmic events will devastate our planet and many who inhabit it. December 21, 2012 cannot be ignored.

Though the future is uncertain, there are several things we can and must do to prepare. You have already begun by entering the IHC lottery. In the coming weeks, we will officially launch TheIHC.com to communicate our plans to guarantee the survival of the human race. In addition, I will be hosting a discussion in February during which I will answer your questions and provide additional knowledge on how you can continue to prepare. You may submit your written questions to me via twitter and email. We will also be accepting video questions and will have more details for you in the coming days.

I look forward to receiving your questions and working together to ensure that the end is just the beginning.

Sincerely,

Dr. Sorën Ulfert, PhD
Communications Director
The Institute for Human Continuity
Twitter: sorenulfert
Email: ✧.ulf✧✧✧@The✧✧✧.c✧✧

TheIHC.com
1 IHC Way, Wellington, 6011 New Zealand

Sherlock HOOS's Baker Steen Motherfuckers (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 22 December 2008 08:12 (fifteen years ago) link

five months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Wucar1vxQ

Seems like Independence Day or Deep Impact but without any kind of coherent plot.

James Mitchell, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link

not to like, defend this movie at all, but how can you tell if a movie has a coherent plot from a trailer?

s1ocki, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Is Roland Emmerich a genocidal fantasist? Seriously, how many millions (or billions) of people have died over the course of his filmography? Effing morbid!

A Leg Made Footless From Pot (Deric W. Haircare), Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:15 (fourteen years ago) link

since when did we start demanding coherent plots from movies is what I want to know

El Tomboto, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:17 (fourteen years ago) link

since obama

s1ocki, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:21 (fourteen years ago) link

"is roland emmerich into apocalypses?"

"was russ meyer a tit man?"

"does a george lucas shit in the woods?"

El Tomboto, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:22 (fourteen years ago) link

s1ocki, I'm sure the Independence Day trailer makes it clear that the plot is "aliens are going to destroy the world" and the gist of Deep Impact's trailer is "meteor is going to destroy the world", whereas this is something like "tectonic plate movements, increased solar activity and approaching previously-undiscovered planets destroy the world".

It's like the set-up is the earth is facing catastrophe because of catastrophes.

James Mitchell, Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Is Roland Emmerich a genocidal fantasist? Seriously, how many millions (or billions) of people have died over the course of his filmography? Effing morbid!

He may very well be Morbs' favorite gay.

bad crack (Eric H.), Saturday, 20 June 2009 16:38 (fourteen years ago) link

This movie looks so good! But I love apocalypse-pron.

Dr. Johnson (askance johnson), Saturday, 20 June 2009 17:04 (fourteen years ago) link

looks crazy, can't wait

caek, Saturday, 20 June 2009 18:45 (fourteen years ago) link

high qual (with redundant emmerich intro) here http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810045661/video/14045555

caek, Saturday, 20 June 2009 18:46 (fourteen years ago) link

two months pass...

the ARG emails have started going to my spam folder btw

do HOOS ever just steen into space and weep (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 28 August 2009 23:23 (fourteen years ago) link

ugh I hate that movies now openly cater to the tinfoil-hat crowd (this, Da Vinci Code, Knowing)

Simon H., Saturday, 29 August 2009 00:04 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

October 2, 2009

From: Barbara Lewis-Penn

Subject: Vote for the Leader of the Post-2012 World

A few weeks ago, the Institute for Human Continuity concluded the entry phase of our election for the leader of the Post-2012 World. Today, we are proud to introduce the 11 extraordinary individuals who are our candidates in the election. Watch my video to find out their names.

Now, it's your turn to vote for which of these candidates you would like to become the Leader of the Post-2012 World. Take a look at their profiles at the IHC Election site and decide which candidate would make the best leader. To vote for your Candidate, please complete the form on their profile page. You will receive a confirmation email asking you to verify your information. In order to complete the process, please click on the link provided in the email to register your vote.

The world will need a great leader in 2012 and beyond. The choice is in your hands: Which leader will it be?

Yours truly,

Barbara Lewis-Penn
Chief Strategist/Government
The Institute for Human Continuity
(888) 363-2012

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 3 October 2009 02:06 (fourteen years ago) link

really just out of a sense of obligation now

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 3 October 2009 02:07 (fourteen years ago) link

name in the thread title and all

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 3 October 2009 02:07 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

An early viewing

Sometimes you see a movie so bloated and silly (and so unaware of its own bloated silliness) that you don't even know where to begin. This is the problem that anyone attempting to review Roland Emmerich's nearly three-hour feel-good apocalyptic action thriller "2012" has to deal with.

The premise is simple, and one that Emmerich has recycled time and time again: a low level scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor, struggling desperately to maintain his dignity) discovers a cataclysmic scientific anomaly, one that could threaten the entire planet if someone doesn't listen to him. Thankfully, someone does — a slick, skeptical politician (Oliver Platt). Soon the two of them, along with the President (Danny Glover, who sounds more than ever like Admiral Akbar), begin a clandestine, worldwide initiative to save the human race. In a bizarre subplot, the President's daughter (Thandie Newton) leads a campaign to save the world's most precious works of art. This subplot is far too bizarre and interesting and is dropped almost immediately.

Emmerich's love of a fractured, multi-character framework borrowed from the 1970's disaster movies means we've also got some "everyday" people to care about. This weight mainly falls on the shoulders of John Cusack, playing an author-cum-limo-driver who is separated from his wife (Amanda Peet) and working for a greasy Russian fat cat (Zlatko Buric). Additionally, Woody Harrelson plays an over-the-top underground radio personality consumed by conspiracy theories about the end of the world as related to the ancient Mayan prediction of global annihilation in 2012. Since this is a Hollywood movie, he's a paranoid schizophrenic who is - wait for it - actually right! There's also George Segal as a cruise ship lounge singer and a bunch of Tibetan monks.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 01:15 (fourteen years ago) link

There's also George Segal as a cruise ship lounge singer

this is the kind of writing i have spent my whole life aiming fo

Nanobots: HOOSTEEND (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:02 (fourteen years ago) link

this is definitely a goofy movie.

banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:02 (fourteen years ago) link

woody harrelson eats a lot of pickles in it.

banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Roland Emmerich's house is kinda weird:

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/08/07/garden/20080807-EMMERICH_index.html

windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:03 (fourteen years ago) link

why yes it is

banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:05 (fourteen years ago) link

slocki, better or worse than

http://www.terraespiritual.locaweb.com.br/espiritismo/goofy_movie.jpg ?

fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:05 (fourteen years ago) link

ok roland emmerich is officially my hero

fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:09 (fourteen years ago) link

almost exactly what the dream home in my head has always looked like.

fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 06:29 (fourteen years ago) link

You wanted a wax sculpture of the pope reading the obituary pages under your stairwell?

windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:12 (fourteen years ago) link

maybe not the pope

fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:20 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm pretty jealous of his diorama of the kennedy assassination.

windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:20 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm jealous of it all.

i need to start directing dumbass blockbusters.

fel (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 November 2009 07:22 (fourteen years ago) link

Wow, that's some decorating scheme. What a nutter.

krakow, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 08:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Is that a picture of hairy-chested Ahmadinejad on the bedroom table? That house is kinda awesome.

Tuomas, Wednesday, 11 November 2009 08:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Saw this on a bus today. Incoherent gibberish with about eighty false climaxes and twice as many manufactured crises. I'd say that's okay for a great stupid popcorn movie except that it's so damn LONG it loses even the charm of goofiness. Real dud. At least 10,000 BC had a character named "Dik-Dik."

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 15 November 2009 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link

this is definitely a goofy movie.

― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Wednesday, November 11, 2009 1:02 AM

do they explain why they choose to fly the airplane through a bunch of near-misses with falling buildings instead of you know maybe flying up high above everything like planes are meant to do (basing this all on the ad which i've seen about 2,012 times by now)

luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Roland Emmerich's house is kinda weird:

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/08/07/garden/20080807-EMMERICH_index.html

― windy = white, carl = black (polyphonic), Wednesday, November 11, 2009 1:03 AM

woooow

luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link

do they explain why they chose john cusack?

coz (webinar), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:39 (fourteen years ago) link

nic cage was busy?

luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 18:41 (fourteen years ago) link

wtf @ his house! everytime you think it couldn't get any more insane, the next room proves you wrong.

Roz, Tuesday, 17 November 2009 21:09 (fourteen years ago) link

"A taxidermy zebra faces the living room, which reflects his predilection for art with a political edge."

Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 22:40 (fourteen years ago) link

Mr. Teall had originally planned to put a life-size waxwork statue of Mr. Emmerich under the stairs. After discussing news coverage of Pope John Paul II's death with Mr. Emmerich, though, he decided it would be much funnier to depict the pope reading his own obituaries.

i now want to see this movie

a used up cumrag who now plays NFL for the Bengals (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link

well i enjoyed it. disaster effects never looked so good, cusack and harrelson work hard for the lols.

Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 00:06 (fourteen years ago) link

do they explain why they choose to fly the airplane through a bunch of near-misses with falling buildings instead of you know maybe flying up high above everything like planes are meant to do (basing this all on the ad which i've seen about 2,012 times by now)

― luol deng (am0n), Tuesday, 17 November 2009 13:30 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I think the idea is that the plane only just took off from a too-short runway (and maybe has some damage or something) and so hasn't gained the needed altitude yet. I don't know if this really makes sense w/r/t real life planes but it's how the movie thinks about it...

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 18 November 2009 00:58 (fourteen years ago) link

his entire house is trolling u

itdn put butt in the display name (gbx), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:15 (fourteen years ago) link

xpost yuh that happened a couple of times in the movie iirc

wilter, Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:16 (fourteen years ago) link

i enjoyed j cusack staying ahead of the supervolcano explosion in a camper van. that's the kind of suspension of disbelief a guy can really get behind.

Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:23 (fourteen years ago) link

haha. kinda want to see it but 3 hours???

luol deng (am0n), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:25 (fourteen years ago) link

thats just more apocalyptic value for your movie dollar

SMH (ice cr?m), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:27 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah, tbh i was getting ready for it to end 2 hours in, but it just got incredibly crappy instead. still worth a look on the big screen though- i really can't remember disaster effects as good as this.

Louis Cll (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

this movie ends with a line about a girl not wearing pull-up diapers anymore. wow.

bnw, Saturday, 5 December 2009 22:01 (fourteen years ago) link

it's incredible

SKATAAAAAAAAAAA (cozwn), Saturday, 5 December 2009 22:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Couldn't even manage my way through a downloaded copy. zzzzzzz

Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 10 December 2009 05:22 (fourteen years ago) link

Awful writing, acting, quite good effects, but it just goes ON and ON and ONNNN

Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 06:59 (fourteen years ago) link

suppose I should go see this before it stops playing in theaters

囧 (dyao), Thursday, 10 December 2009 07:02 (fourteen years ago) link

After fifteen minutes or so I was cheering for the solar flares, tsunamis, and the earth's unstable core. Kill the humans! Kill all of them!

Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 10 December 2009 07:51 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, with a cast like this (and a movie this boring), it's easy to root for the disaster over the survivors, since if the disaster wins, you'll be rid of John Cusack and the movie will be over.

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 10 December 2009 08:44 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...

Rented this on Blu-ray and have to be honest... It's AWESOME. Loved the ships and several of the 'ride' scenes (no matter how ridiculous). Everything else was serviceable. Cusak looked constipated which was also entertaining.

Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:58 (fourteen years ago) link

i enjoyed it. i just pretended that the director meant me to laugh through most of it. the last half hour just needed chopping tbh

DarraghmacKwacz (darraghmac), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Haha I saw 5 minutes of this when I was in line at Best Buy the other day and thought it looked far worse than I could have even imagined. The CGI just looked laughable.

he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 21:38 (fourteen years ago) link

six months pass...

this managed to be both terrible and weirdly dread inducing

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 11 October 2010 04:33 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

i just pretended that the director meant me to laugh through most of it

We just watched this. I couldn't believe I *wasn't* meant to laugh all the way through it, tbh. As a spoof of all disaster movies ever, it was top notch.

ailsa, Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:38 (thirteen years ago) link

i started watching this a while back but as soon as john cusack came onscreen i was just like 'fuck it, life's too short' and turned it off

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMf0MTweXYc (Princess TamTam), Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:44 (thirteen years ago) link

he did nothing of the sort

etc

No Wicked Heart Shall Prosper.rar (nakhchivan), Thursday, 23 December 2010 23:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Really so silly. I saw this, actually enjoyed it, and yet when i try and think back to the movie, it just seems like the entire 2 hours was slow motion shots of the bus driving off an endlessly collapsing cliff with explosions behind it.

Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 24 December 2010 00:01 (thirteen years ago) link

Nah, that was pretty much it. Ooh, it also had a moment of dubious racism as well, when Thandie Newton and Chiwetel Ejiofor were queuing to get on the arks. Yer man from The West Wing was explaining that the guys to be saved had been chosen to be the best genetic material to repopulate the earth, accompanied by shots of cute photogenic passengers. Cut to two Arab sheikh chaps, penny drops "these people aren't good genetic material, they're just RICH!".

It really does help to think of it as a spoof. We nearly lost it when Cusack's hand appeared out of the crack at Yellowstone Airport and then he RAN AFTER THE PLANE AND CAUGHT UP WITH IT!

ailsa, Friday, 24 December 2010 08:56 (thirteen years ago) link

nine years pass...

this film in no way sucked

mark s, Thursday, 21 May 2020 22:37 (three years ago) link

this sucked in no way film

I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Thursday, 21 May 2020 22:45 (three years ago) link


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