girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

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(oh, you all care)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:23 (twenty years ago) link

Was Poirot any good? Was it old-skool or a new one? Any tips on how I could grow a moustache like that?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:25 (twenty years ago) link

OKAY, FINE:

so, i went in there, and, as soon as i saw her big ol' ass, i started mentally backing out of it. in fact i DID back out of it, but it maybe turned out better than if i hadn't. so like i got my coffee and chickened out and was standing there putting my cream and shit in at the end of the counter and she was talking to her co-worker about how "ugly" she felt that day (i think by the subtext of that conversation it was that time of the month, so maybe it's better that i chickened out since i'm not dealin with the cotton ball mouse up there) and, as i was about finished and their conversation lulled and they looked in my direction i said "oh, that's all a load of crap you know...you're probably the best looking woman in this town." and she just kinda stood there blushing and i walked out and she managed a "have a nice day"...and two blocks away i bust out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

tomorrow should be interesting.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago) link

(also she called me "darlin[g]" when she gave me my coffee - before my lothario impression - which i would normally find annoying but today took as a sign of good fortune. also i was horny.)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:32 (twenty years ago) link

rico sauvington

― Nik (Nik), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty years ago) link

*applause*

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty years ago) link

If you'd had an impeccably waxed moustache none of this would have happened.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:34 (twenty years ago) link

goddamn that's fucking smooth, dude. No sarcasm whatsoever.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:35 (twenty years ago) link

you are so in, my friend

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:36 (twenty years ago) link

THAT IS FUCKING HEAVY. NICE WORK NICE WORK.

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:37 (twenty years ago) link

haha xposts out the wazoo

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:37 (twenty years ago) link

Next step - order a mocha with extra whipped cream. Works every time.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:38 (twenty years ago) link

Oh man

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:38 (twenty years ago) link

I can't wait for tommorrow's episode!

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

How do you follow up on your memorable and flattering line next time you see her?

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

The next episode is where Jess finds the co-worker all tarted up and fluttering eyelashes...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

Oh, man, that is fantastic.

― cis (cis), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

if it were me, i'd just keep on conversing with her more and more each day until by the end of the week it'd be awkward if i DIDN'T ask her out.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

Why'd you settle for the record store when you could hipster Cyrano De Bergerac

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:47 (twenty years ago) link

hooray jess! here's a yuengling porter in yr honor:

http://www.yuengling.com/images/fine_beers/m_porter.jpg

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:51 (twenty years ago) link

Seriously, jess, you are suave as a motherfucker. Well done!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 12 April 2004 21:57 (twenty years ago) link

This has been magnificent stuff, and I am pleased for and impressed with you, Jess! Good luck!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago) link

I can't believe no one has touched this:

as soon as i saw her big ol' ass, i started mentally backing out of it

But well done, Jess!

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:06 (twenty years ago) link

thee next step is to do it in the butt.

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:16 (twenty years ago) link

your knowledge of the female gender is truly astounding

― oops (Oops), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:17 (twenty years ago) link

"you're probably the best looking woman in this town."

!!! Wow. Yes, obviously talk to her again, mr suavington.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 12 April 2004 22:20 (twenty years ago) link

:-) Most grand. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 April 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago) link

the next step into my obvious transformation is to start beating all the editors that owe me money with the butt of my pistol.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:12 (twenty years ago) link

MATOS IS JUST LUCKY HE'S SO GODDAMN PROMPT.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:12 (twenty years ago) link

you must have made her day. seriously. people were so horrible as a rule when i worked "service industry" jobs that i would practically burst into grateful tears if somebody replied "you, too!" to my "have a nice day."

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:15 (twenty years ago) link

that's a wicked line dude, congratulations!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:16 (twenty years ago) link

tomorrow you have to go in wearing shades! and then you have to tip them down so you're sorta peering over them at her! and call her "babe" and stuff

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:19 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.wallsoffame.com/assets/images/1099goodfellas2.jpg
l-r: tommy, strongo

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:20 (twenty years ago) link

the "in this town" bit is quite charming. it has a nice black and white movie feel to it.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:20 (twenty years ago) link

also you should say "gimme two sugars, sugar!"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:21 (twenty years ago) link

thank you slocki, you just gave me an even BETTER idea than that one

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:21 (twenty years ago) link

(throw "sugar in the raw" packet in front of her)

"hey, you dropped your nametag."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:22 (twenty years ago) link

aw yeah!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:23 (twenty years ago) link

"i'm your number one non-dairy creamer!"

(so so sorry)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:23 (twenty years ago) link

haha

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty years ago) link

why does something tell me i will never top today in my life

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty years ago) link

Nonsense. It will improve.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty years ago) link

i think the fact that i had to walk home for 40 minutes in the freezing cold rain with no umbrella was god evening things out

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:24 (twenty years ago) link

Mind you, she may eventually discover this thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:25 (twenty years ago) link

WHEN WILL MY SECRET IDENTITY STOP GETTING ME INTO TROUBLE?!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:25 (twenty years ago) link

hahaha she won't even know its a secret!! She's just reading this thinking "his name is STRONGO?!?!?!!"

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:28 (twenty years ago) link

haha she's gonna have to do a lot of ilx detective work to put all this together

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:28 (twenty years ago) link

well, if she says "hi, Strongo" to you when you next see her...

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:30 (twenty years ago) link

flex.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:30 (twenty years ago) link

Silkscreen a Ma$e sweatshirt

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 00:30 (twenty years ago) link

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