I SCORED A GOAL FFS

Edmundo, not Romario

ya well

My celebration, rather pathetically, was me and my strike partner doing the air guitar "excellent!" thing from Bill and Ted

<3, i think? perhaps not

We had 'a talker' in my old work fives team, who horrendously was also one of the best players, had no sensitivity to mood, and had the hugest need to win. Combined that adds up to a guy who will never take his turn in goal. We eventually had to knock it on the head by distributing a mock-up back page condemning the guy, only wires got crossed and two entirely different versions went round, which was massive overkill. He got quite hurt, which I guess is why he didn't change his ways, so then he just got ostracised instead.

we had pretty much that guy, but next-level aggressive. Our nerdy IT guy stuck the head on him and was given a hero's welcome once his six week suspension was served

Scored a tiny one from distance yesterday. Ball came to me on the edge of the box (well, would be if we played with a proper pitch) and I caught it first time with the side of my left to send it zipping along the ground and into the corner.

I am also the mouthy not very good one but I hope everyone realises it is in jest and takes in good humour.

i shout a lot when in goal but you're meant to right??? (or not when it's 5 a side?)

No I do in goal too, just to feel less of a spare prick as much as anything.

nick i played with you and believe me, you had nothing on this guy. i don't even mind a bit of talking, or a lot of talking. but this dude was non-stop talking and shouting every time anyone did anything with the ball, i mean, relentless arrogant shit. way worse than anything anyone is describing here.

way worse than anything anyone is describing here.

i may have gone a bit.... soft ..... on myself here

Argh, desperate for a kick about. All of my mates have either moved away or aren't really into footy.

I'm a shouter :/

Argh, desperate for a kick about

Feeling this. I even took Ismaelito over to the local basketball cage on Sunday morning, but all he wants to do is pick the ball up and toddle into the goal himself. Two yellows in quick succession = not a very satisfying victory.

trying to work out if ismaelito your partner, kid, or dog

the image of you yellow carding your dog is quite funny not gonna lie

ismaelinho imo

also I'm the best at football on ilf

*may be a lie

do we have a 'what level did you play to?/recount your football experience/glories' thread

i was top scorer in my first year (aged 12) league out of iirc 200-odd lads- wunderkind athlete that year tbh
moved to the sticks after that and didn't ever get into organised 'team' football
play five a side now- i'm fat and bad but i have my moments

Aie, that's the sort of stat good enough to make it into Michael Owen's brochure.

the whole thing could go into rooney's

have we got enough interest to restart some kind of ILX FAKA?

ya

you're always welcome at my Monday night football game, ken. same goes for anyone else as well but would def be good to make an allstar ilx fiveaside happen.

I live in glasgow, besides I'm too good

have it in glasgow then?

or liverpool ;)

Sounds like Isle of Man would probably be fairest. Maybe the Azores if Dan or boxall fancy joining in.

hey nick i have a monday night 5 a side but currently it is off as the school sportshall we play at is closed. where is your game?

re: ILX all star FAKA: i'm thinking if we can get a decent number of people up for it then go for a sunday kickabout in a park. maybe the bank holiday weekend?

bump here
london fancy a kick about again FAKA?

our game is in regent's park, near the hub. it's a very casual game but the standard isn't entirely terrible.

ronan played once, never to return. :(

ah that's good. i might come down next monday (weather permitting)

i'm shite though. are donks welcome?

where's the I GOT IN A FIGHT FFS thread

Played footy tonight for the first time in about 5 years. This is gonna sound really fucking stupid, but I'd forgotten how hard it is. Like, having to make split-second decisions, not having much time on the ball. My legs are really aching now.

yeah it takes a while to get back into it

where's the I GOT IN A FIGHT FFS thread

― I diss you (cozen), Friday, 26 August 2011 20:17 (Yesterday) Bookmark

spill

Played footy tonight for the first time in about 5 years. This is gonna sound really fucking stupid, but I'd forgotten how hard it is. Like, having to make split-second decisions, not having much time on the ball. My legs are really aching now.

― Chris, Friday, 26 August 2011 23:43 (Yesterday) Bookmark

never fails to impress me in retrospect how mindless football is when you're playing well, at least for me anyway - so much instinctive reflex action, even (maybe especially) when you do something that seems outside-the-box cerebral

So true. I find in 5 a side on a good day passing is like a reflex, you just know where your players are and do first time passes.

http://www.ianleake.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/herrigelzenarchery.jpg

"Do you now understand", the Master asked me one day after a particularly good shot, "what I mean by: 'It shoots, It hits?'"
"I’m afraid I don’t understand anything any more at all," I answered, "even the simplest things have got in a muddle. Is it ˆ I ˜ who draws the bow, or is it the bow that draws me into the state of highest tension? Do ˆ I ˜ hit the goal, or does the goal hit me? Is ˆ It ˜ spiritual when seen by the eyes of the body, and corporeal when seen by the eyes of the spirit or both or neither? Bow, arrow, goal and and ego, all melt into one another, so that I can no longer separate them. And even the need to separate has gone. For as soon as I take the bow and shoot, everything becomes so clear and straightforward and so ridiculously simple. . . . "
" Now at last ", the Master broke in, "The bowstring has cut right through you."

not really a fight, just squaring up and buck style butting. the game's hard man went in hard on me and I called for a free kick and was told to 'fuck off, don't know what game you're playing.' this despite the fact and I'd got a kick up the arse and he was nowhere near the ball. so I thought 'fine whatever, what goes around comes around'.

next opportunity I went in hard myself, though a yard late. didn't actually hit him (or the ball to be fair) and took a kick right up the arse for my trouble. he turns round immediately 'don't fucking go in like that prick', squaring up. I pushed him away and told him to fuck off, giving it out but unwilling to take it. walked away and merked him five minutes later, had to resist doing the scott brown after scoring

tldr; both being fannies, all good's in the hood

two kicks up the arse and I'm the bad guy

guys like that don't get the text next game with us, thank fuck

Knowing what you're going to do with the ball before you receive it, and executing it to perfection = best feeling ever.

scored about 5 goals but we lost 23-22.

cramp in both legs and some minor vomming early due to terrible fitness levels. also carpet pitches man.

http://i.minus.com/i7OSiGBteA9JO.jpg

Kind of heart-shaped that isn't it, if you ignore the bit on the left. Beautiful.

briefly contemplated googling up a how to shoot tutorial after recent woeful weeks

can't lie though, a good tackle will always mean more to me

i googled up a how to shoot tutorial a couple of days ago! My shooting has improved!!

tonight 5 a side we won by like 17-6

i scored .... zero of the 17

knee looks like a burnt beefburger

yeeowch

Two hour game last night i was basically ronaldo, all feints, sways, dummies and startling power. Beautiful, simply beautiful.