fuck the assholes who write copy for Groupon

Yeah, theater kids is probably closer. I just like the idea that the whole Groupon creative campaign is the brainchild of a lone man in a padded cell drooling all over himself. Or really any campaign for that matter. "Make this ad about baloney!!" "But we're selling photo albums." "Trust me!"

huh, thought i posted something on this thread. it probably ended up in the Blink 182 thread or something.

i just think it's insane that there's no limit to the coupons. like, how are businesses supposed to plan for that?

haha i JUST NOW got the pun in this stupid company's name...!? wtf @ me.

Lol grady they employ and the style was created by chicago improv kids

― Gatsby was a success, in the end, wasn't he? (D-40), Friday, August 5, 2011 10:24 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

haha knew it.

I basically just think the meme about them fucking over businesses is basically untrue. Its like an ebay store w a 98% positive rating and a really large number of sales. They are impish for having a v v responsive customer service dept; the one time I thought I got fucked over by a coupon they did a full refund immediately

Lol they are impish!! They are KNOWN

lol i was going to spend at least 5 minutes trying to figure out what you meant there

autocorrect the news

do we have a thread dedicated to deej's phone fucking up his posts yet

i was about to go on a rant about groupon/social buying with lots of fun supporting articles but then i remembered this thread is about copy.

their copy is lame.

i give you permission to turn this into the all-purpose groupon thread

in the fine tradition of people that yelp are scumbags

I have such guilt using groupons. I end up overtipping anyway.

Someone in the restaurant industry in Chicago compared Groupon to a cash advance on a credit card, and that analogy makes some sense. If your business runs a Groupon, you get a big payout all at once. It just means that for the next six months, you may be giving out completely complimentary services daily.

http://i.imgur.com/4Re3j.png

I like to torment myself by reading the groupon posts for services like laser hair removal and colonics.

"Can I use this groupon (laser hair removal) to remove a tattoo?"

mmmm AMOEBA groupon

Ooh

"Groupon halves revenue forecast, COO hastily exits."

citation needed

Groupon Operating Chief Leaves as Company Restates Revenue
September 23, 2011, 7:54 PM EDT
By Douglas MacMillan

Sept. 23 (Bloomberg) -- Groupon Inc., the largest daily- deal site, announced the departure of its second chief operating officer in six months and restated revenue figures, cutting sales to a fraction of their previous levels.

Margo Georgiadis, head of operations, is leaving to rejoin her former employer, Google Inc., the Chicago-based company said today in a filing. In restating sales, Groupon cited “an error in its presentation of revenue.”

Groupon has lost executives and had to delay its initial public offering amid a volatile stock market. Brad Williams, the former head of communications, and Rob Solomon, Georgiadis’s predecessor as operating chief, left the company earlier this year. It’s also drawn flak for the way it accounted for income, which critics said was masking its true costs.

The company restated 2010 sales to $312.9 million, down from a previous level of $713.4 million. In its earlier accounting, Groupon counted the total amount of its daily-deal sales as revenue, including fees paid to merchants. The company makes money by selling discounts -- known as Groupons -- from businesses such as restaurants and nail salons. It then splits the revenue with the businesses.

“The company restated its reporting of revenues from Groupons to be net of the amounts related to merchant fees,” Groupon said in the filing. “Historically, the company has reported the gross amounts billed to its subscribers as revenue.”

First Half

Revenue in the first half of 2011 is now $688.1 million, compared with an earlier figure of $1.52 billion.

The company also said JPMorgan Chase & Co. is no longer a lead underwriter on its planned $750 million IPO. Groupon made the change after people with knowledge of the matter said online-coupon competitor LivingSocial hired the bank to raise more than $200 million in a round of private funding.

Wells Fargo & Co. joined the list of underwriters on Groupon’s offering, the filing showed.

Georgiadis will become Google’s president for the Americas region. Before going to Groupon in April, she was Google’s vice president of global sales. Her Groupon contract gave her a $500,000 salary and 300,000 fully vested stock options. Based on the $25 billion valuation Groupon was said to have been contemplating in March, those options would be worth $25.2 million dollars in an IPO.

‘Hard Decision’

“Groupon is a great company and I feel privileged to have worked there even for a short time,” she said today in a statement published by Groupon. “It was a hard decision to leave as the company is on a terrific path. I have complete confidence in the team’s ability to realize its mission.”

The executive will have an expanded role in her new position at Google, said Nikesh Arora, senior vice president and chief business officer of Mountain View, California-based Google.

“I called a great colleague from the past and asked her if she’d like to come back,” Arora said. “I could not ask for a better person to come back and work with us.”

Her earlier experience included a stint as chief marketing officer at Discover Financial Services.

steve shasta said it

xp dammit steve

Groupon is the Ponzi scheme that Perry should be bitching about.

Sure Drudge will connect it to other dubious Chicago finances soon enough.

I still have my TWO amoeba groupons

srsly, fuck these assholes who write copy for groupon

lol @ theater nerds not getting basic math

Groupon Shares Spike 40% at Open 3 minutes ago

smh

tbf there was a groupon coupon for groupon shares

The supply of dumb money and money that thinks it can find dumber money never abates.

lol iatee

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/11/fashion/many-consumers-find-it-hard-to-step-away-from-daily-deal-sites.html

has there ever been another billion dollar business that was 100% dependent on millions of people setting themselves up to be mad or disappointed?

facebook, zynga, (is fender a $1bn company?), sony lately.

has there ever been another billion dollar business that was 100% dependent on millions of people setting themselves up to be mad or disappointed?

― iatee, Saturday, March 10, 2012 3:13 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how do you mean? i've used them before & been happy w/ it ...

or do you mean the restaurants?

both sides seem to get burned pretty regularly

most of the examples in that article are idiots buying shit they didn't actually want. like buying ... anything, its buyer beware.

I had an interview with groupon last week to write this sort of stuff. I would hate them too but need the work, which it looks like I haven't got. So, yeah, fuck them.

the companies often get fucked w/ Groupon.

Groupon usually tries to keep 100% of the revenues from the groupon, but will occasionally be so kind as to split it 50/50. Their logic is "the customer almost always spends a larger amount than the value of the Groupon". which isn't always true.

Groupon copywriter loathes his job:

"Features
7"x11" softcover photobook
20 pages hold up to 150 failed self-taken profile pictures
Photos uploaded directly from Facebook albums
Arranged in a theme of your choosing
Crop and move photos within online photobook template"

http://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-ca-rexall-custom-photobook

Also contains sentence "photos you upload directly from Facebook albums or surveillance drones."

hah, once you notice that stuff like "Each album boasts a customer-chosen theme and holds photos that can be cropped and moved around in the most eye-pleasing arrangement" really starts to sound just as harsh

Celebrate the Man Who Gave Birth to You

He felt you grow and kick inside of him for nine months—
thank him with deals on Father's Day gifts.

does Groupon know something about my father that I don't

Yes.

h8 when Groupon writers try to be "funny"

I always think of this guy when I read the "funny" groupon copy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0qLxIzEndA

hahahaha

https://livingsocial.com/events/cities/1171-georgetown-foggy-bottom/683996-djing-with-biz-markie-presented-by-stanton

I was waiting for it, and it delivered in the last sentence

u_u