washing your junk after sex

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sure, if I'm sleeping at my own place

mh, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:25 (twelve years ago) link

so do all you people voting "no" only have sex before sleep?

sarahel, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:34 (twelve years ago) link

Well, there's no shower in my car

mh, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:36 (twelve years ago) link

Heh.

Rameses Street (Trayce), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:36 (twelve years ago) link

Actully in my case I'd say "about 70% of the time yeah".

Rameses Street (Trayce), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:37 (twelve years ago) link

But hang on we're not talking about "eventual showering" here, right?

We're talking about "finish the deed and immediately go rinse yer things off". Which is ... nuts.

Rameses Street (Trayce), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:38 (twelve years ago) link

Oh man one time when I was drunk and had been out at a bbq place I thought it'd be hilarious to put a bunch of those little hand wipes from the bbq place in my nightstand next to condoms. Of course, I only remembered when I went to grab a condom and pulled out ye olde moistened hand towel and just about cracked up

mh, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:38 (twelve years ago) link

Which only brings the question: does wiping your junk off with a bbq wipe count as "washing"

mh, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:39 (twelve years ago) link

It's fucking great to be locked together and eventually fall asleep after, with the atmosphere, bodily fluids, heat, love, all still there in between youse. Screw thinking it is "wrong" or "dirty".

right on the money(shot)

time to put it in hi geir (WmC), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:41 (twelve years ago) link

xpost this is basically how i break it down to an extent.

one of the best things about sex is curling up/cuddling with the other person afterwards, which you can't do if you immediately get up to wash yer crotch. likewise if you get up to use the shower, they may follow you in, and then it might lead to more sexual activity which ISN'T necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes when it's 4 a.m. you just wanna go to fuckin' sleep and your loins are worn out!

like i don't think anybody here is growing mushrooms on their sack, I usually shower the next morning and give a lil scrubdown and all is well in Whoville.

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 02:43 (twelve years ago) link

I think the proper analogy is, after eating a 9 course meal with lobster, steak, a vanilla sundae topped off with apple pie, do you brush your teeth before you go to bed wipe your mouth with a napkin or just take care of it whenever you eventually shower?

Kerm, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 03:05 (twelve years ago) link

I pretty much go straight to the cunnilingus after that, no napkin in between

我爱你 G. Weingarten (dayo), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 03:08 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/21/health/21hiv.html

buzza, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 03:09 (twelve years ago) link

Watching the clock for the right time to wash the HIV off my dick is the least romantic part of post-coital cuddling, imo

Kerm, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 03:13 (twelve years ago) link

Lol Kerm

I just.... you must hate having sex...

that's a ridiculous assertion! That's like saying, "You must take no joy in eating, since you don't like food that is moldy."

― sarahel, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 03:53 (5 hours ago) Bookmark

Ehm, what? No. Trayce sums it up nicely:

Yeah feeling "ew must clean up" the moment yr done seems a bit dispiriting to me (going to toilet aside).

To me the notion of wanting to disinfect yourself of bodily fluids straight after, says you want sex but - "ewewewww i feel icky, must clean up" - do not see 'junk' as even being remotely part of it. Righting your wrong analogy it would read:

"OMG that was the best piece of pie I ever had.. whoa, orgasmic, soooo delicious... Ok eww now where's my toothbrush, mouthwater, floss GET THIS TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH."

I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 07:57 (twelve years ago) link

Zactly, which is what I guess dyao was gettin at with his lobster dinner post too.

I mean I'm not averse to the idea tht if you are then off to work/school you'd want to clean up!

Rameses Street (Trayce), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 08:13 (twelve years ago) link

OK . . .

PENGUINS!!!

ladies love draculas like children love stray dogs (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 10:10 (twelve years ago) link

They're kinda hard to spoon with

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 12:45 (twelve years ago) link

too short for 69

CH3C(O)N(CH3)2 (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:08 (twelve years ago) link

STOP IT RIGHT NOW

ladies love draculas like children love stray dogs (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

too short for 69

this made me cry for penguins

pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

http://breakingbelgium.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/penguin.jpg

"Don't cry for me, Steven Tyler"

CLUB PISCOPO (DJP), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:34 (twelve years ago) link

feeling woozy

kkvgz, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:35 (twelve years ago) link

Time to wash your junk

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:42 (twelve years ago) link

what is in the bottle

(oboe interlude) (schlump), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:57 (twelve years ago) link

Gwyneth Paltrow's head

CLUB PISCOPO (DJP), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 13:59 (twelve years ago) link

Omfg, dying

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:05 (twelve years ago) link

the whole 'wallowing in fluids and squelchiness is fun and if you don't like it you're missing the point because it is natural and intimate' thing is kind of a canard, b/c no matter how much i love somebody i am not really aroused by bodily fluids of any stripe i.e. i don't find armpit stank or sweaty backs on myself or others erotic or awesome just ... pleh. the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

also yeah, sometimes the whole smell is greater than the individual contributions i.e. PENGUINS or THE POLAR BEAR ENCLOSURE

remy bean, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:09 (twelve years ago) link

DJP, I'm calling it: you are history's greatest human

pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:10 (twelve years ago) link

getting up, splashing some water from the dipping pool on your junk, tipping the zookeeper and leaving the enclosure after penguin sex, y/n

(oboe interlude) (schlump), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:11 (twelve years ago) link

I use a chamois and turtle wax on my Brazole when I'm done.

Cindy Mancini can ride my lawnmower anytime (thebingo), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:15 (twelve years ago) link

If someones junk smells like a polar bear enclosure you shouldn't be fucking in the first olace

Cindy Mancini can ride my lawnmower anytime (thebingo), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:18 (twelve years ago) link

Place

Cindy Mancini can ride my lawnmower anytime (thebingo), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:18 (twelve years ago) link

plaice

(oboe interlude) (schlump), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:18 (twelve years ago) link

omg

ladies love draculas like children love stray dogs (ENBB), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:19 (twelve years ago) link

Febreeze is really missing an opportunity.

Kerm, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:19 (twelve years ago) link

wait a minute schlump, HOW MUCH are you tipping the zookeeper

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:19 (twelve years ago) link

gonna agitate hard for "tipping the zookeeper" as official ilx euphemism for beastiality

(oboe interlude) (schlump), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:20 (twelve years ago) link

tippin' the zook ;)

(oboe interlude) (schlump), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:21 (twelve years ago) link

dud or extra dud: people who spray perfume/cologne on their junk

mh, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:22 (twelve years ago) link

Xxpost Someone pls submit that to urbandictionary

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:23 (twelve years ago) link

the whole 'wallowing in fluids and squelchiness is fun and if you don't like it you're missing the point because it is natural and intimate' thing is kind of a canard, b/c no matter how much i love somebody i am not really aroused by bodily fluids of any stripe i.e. i don't find armpit stank or sweaty backs on myself or others erotic or awesome just ... pleh. the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

It's not a "canard", you just have a different opinion about it.

I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:23 (twelve years ago) link

No one wants a vag to smell like Debbie gibsons electric youth

Cindy Mancini can ride my lawnmower anytime (thebingo), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:25 (twelve years ago) link

washing your trunk after sex

CH3C(O)N(CH3)2 (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:25 (twelve years ago) link

dud or extra dud: people who spray perfume/cologne on their junk

i had a woman who didn't want to take a shower once and just sprayed herself with perfume, thinking it would be sexy or whatever. it nearly ruined everything - have you ever eaten perfume?

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:25 (twelve years ago) link

to be actual-tmi abt it remy the deal is this

the human body is capable of a lot of nasty excretions, and while they might be fun in the mood and the afterglow, at some point you have to realize there are some foul substances lurking

for some people "foul" is a fairly fluid term (lol sorry but it really is what I mean). Like, if I'm not having sex with you, and you're at the grocery store pushing your cart up and down the aisles and I push my cart past yours, then I'm going to say "remy smells funky" if you smell like you had sex & didn't shower before you left the house. But if I did rock the sheets* with you last night and the next morning we go out to breakfast and I notice while we're sitting there in public that we kind of stink, the reflective sort of feeling of being in on a shared secret (not that the scent is a secret because lol it stinks but it sort of stands for secret things) is deeper than afterglow stuff, it's intimate. Not actually my thing but not not-my-thing; but I've known people for who it was really true - people whose hygiene was otherwise just fine, but who liked to stay dirty awhile after sex because that felt awesome to them

*this term courtesy joey kramer, gets funnier w/recurring use, trust me

pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:26 (twelve years ago) link

chris's post reminds me of a partic vile punchline tbph

CH3C(O)N(CH3)2 (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:26 (twelve years ago) link

lol darragh

(oboe interlude) (schlump), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:26 (twelve years ago) link

Steven Tyler otm

I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 2 August 2011 14:27 (twelve years ago) link

can't, too busy lolling at "nutcheese"

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Tuesday, 25 February 2020 22:39 (four years ago) link

i apologize to any and all vegans on ilx reading this thread

sarahell, Tuesday, 25 February 2020 22:41 (four years ago) link

any fellow uncircumcised kings who do not wash after sex are asking for a visit from the yeaster bunny

frederik b. godt (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 25 February 2020 23:25 (four years ago) link

is that what this is

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 25 February 2020 23:31 (four years ago) link

put it that way: would you go to sleep wearing a pair of damp socks?

frederik b. godt (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 25 February 2020 23:41 (four years ago) link

that way? this way

frederik b. godt (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 25 February 2020 23:41 (four years ago) link

circumcised kings go to sleep wearing damp socks like this, cueball princes go to sleep wearing damp socks like this

Fantastic. Great move. Well done (sic), Wednesday, 26 February 2020 00:11 (four years ago) link

Well i no longer want my hummus

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 26 February 2020 00:19 (four years ago) link

Donate it

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 26 February 2020 00:20 (four years ago) link

I keep a clean house, me; visitors need not wipe their feet upon leaving

flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 26 February 2020 00:49 (four years ago) link


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