Battleship...the movie

Saw this trailer yesterday. had no idea when the big tittied girl was straddling the jock on the beach, that this would be a Milton Bradley production.

I want to commission a Twister movie

"Right foot blue...left hand red...but at the end of the night...someone will be DEAD!!???"

looks like a transformers movie, meh

but hang on, you're posts suggest this is actually linked to the board game? But I know that can't be correct as that would be RIDICULOUS

your

don't hate me

SYMBOLISM or something

http://www-deadline-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/battleship-movie-poster-2__120207064922.jpg

Related idiocy:

Ever since Universal announced its $200M budget buster Battleship, this sci-fi action adaptation of the Hasbro naval strategy board game has been a big question mark around Hollywood. Now, with just two months before the movie opens overseas in April and then a month later in the U.S./Canada, I’ve learned that Universal has hedged its bet. The studio has secured promotional partnerships amounting to $50 million for TV, print, and online advertising as well as the value of in-store packaging. And that doesn’t even count the cross-company synergy effort within Comcast whose home-owned inventory won’t be charged against actual cost. What’s even more important is that these promotional partnerships have come in response to the studio’s pitch to Madison Avenue for Battleship, with director Peter Berg screening 20 to 30 minutes of footage for partners and exhibitors across the globe. And the feeling is that, if the ad people like it and the theatre owners like it, then the moviegoers may not be too far behind. That’s certainly what Universal Studios COO Ron Meyer, Universal Pictures Chairman Adam Fogelson, and Universal Pictures Co-Chair Donna Langley are holding their breath for. One moment of relief: I’ve confirmed that Comcast chief Brian Roberts recently saw a rough-cut of the film and emerged “all smiles”. (NBCUniversal bigwig Steve Burke hasn’t screened it in its entirety yet.) Of course this is the fickle movie biz and the film could still flop.

the phrase "extinction level event" in the Battleship trailer makes me think Busta Rhymes albums, not board games, should be adapted as action movies

would play Buster Rhymes boardgame

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJwNmghVYv4

Just another movie that shows up Hollywood's reluctance to make anything unless it's based on an already existing IP. Probably not the bottom of the barrel though.

Studio exec 1: "OK, so we've got this idea for a hot summer blockbuster. Noughts & Crosses!"
Studio exec 2: "It should be Noughts versus Crosses to play up the conflict angle. Do you have a rough draft of the script?"
Studio exec 1: "Sure, right here..."

A street in the nightclub/bar area of the city. It is night time. Police sirens wail in the distance.
The leaders of two rival gangs (the NAUGHTS and the CROSSES) face off against each other, surrounded by their respective gang members.
LEADER OF THE CROSSES: "You're nothing but a zero!"
LEADER OF THE NAUGHTS: "Yeah? Well you're gonna be all crossed out!"

There's some green in that teal and orange film.

awful just awful

This is the second dumbest thing Rihanna has ever done.

what was the first one again ?
this looks so awful I'm intrigued !
I had forgotten I'd seen the trailer at the movies, previously. My memory must have blocked it !

tragedy this is coming out too late for the action movie poll

THE OCEAN

VAST

is anybody remotely prepared for the possibility that this movie could be ... entertaining?

not that i'm volunteering, mind

i'm always hopeful when it comes to giant spaceship movies.

the battle for earth begins at sea

o yea I saw this trailer before 'The Grey' the other day—just ridiculous. loved the "FROM THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU TRANSFORMERS"... did the entire art design process proceed via a series of plastic action-figures?

I'm trying to think of what the most ludicrous game movie would be

it's a toss-up between "Ants in the Pants: THE MOVIE" and "Pass the Pigs: THE MOVIE"

Need a dark, gritty version of

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xfxmmOzXySs/SiBkijy32bI/AAAAAAAAAs4/T-4WBvZM-XE/s400/cootie.jpg

they did that already, it was called "Cabin Fever"

It's every other summer movie ever smooshed together!

Coming This Summer to a Theater Near You: Hi-Ho! Cherry-O: The Movie!

would watch Operation: The Movie

also Hungry Hungry Hippos

Hungry Hungry Hippos as a scary when animals attack movie would be RAD

Mousetrap The Movie: Missing scenes 2, 12, and 19.

Trying to imagine SORRY: THE MOVIE

UNO the movie could be fun. You could skip scenes, go backwards, speed scenes up. Think of all the fun. Fun, goddamnit!

Trying to imagine SORRY: THE MOVIE

This summer

You'll be... SORRY

Mastermind: The Movie! Directed by Terence Malick.

After years of languishing in development at Universal, Hasbro announced that Candy Land has moved to Columbia Pictures, with Adam Sandler slated to star and produce via his production company, Happy Madison.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTSpNa06lxs

somebody google cornhole movie and see if that's been done yet

Changing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy to STRATEGO and naming each person after a game piece was a missed chance for synergy.

I'm certain it has, just not the way your local bros play it.

I heard that they were going to try to make Candyland some kind of weird LOTR quest movie? could be apocryphal, but still, lol

omg @ Hungry Hippos trailer. HAHAHAHA that is fucking great.

dudes battleship is ridic enough, none of these jokes are funnier than the fact that they are making a movie about BATTLESHIP

is someone going to say 'you sank my battleship'?

A friend and I like to joke about the gritty reimagining of Connect Four called "The Fourth Connection".

Please let the answer be, "Yes, Liam Neeson is going to angrily, intensely say that."

s1ocki why u not like our joeks?

im just saying

See I think it was already a missed opportunity by NOT having Neeson scream that in the trailer.

I think Wells was just writing a "We Didn't Start the Fire" sequel

Boggle! The Story of Boggle

Dare I make this joke:

Das Boot 2: Eletrik Boot-a-loo

(Elektrik)

http://gawker.com/5910266/battleship-director-peter-berg-to-israeli-interviewer-you-gotta-join-the-army-motherfucker

Words fail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPBIDPIo92Q

Ha, the other day me and my brother were talking about how shit like Battleship makes it feel like we're closer than ever to Coupon: The Movie

I saw the shit out of it!

If they did manage to make a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie, though, I would see it.

Only if the hippos are something more like Brick Top's pigs in Snatch

Just occured to me that what the hell is Liam Neeson doing in the U. S. Navy?

Also occured to me that "TRANSFORMERS + Neeson speechifying" is a really good selling point.

Neeson is more American now than anything. Didn't you see Taken, where he donned the stars and stripes to shoot the shit out of foreigners?

i think the citizenship test is now just doing the "i have a particular set of skills" monologue

lol

lool so apparently I'm seeing this tomorrow for a work outing.

Boy o boy I'm so excited to see Tim Riggins Joins The Navy, Fights Transformers

The only reviewer that matters (aka Rick Juzwiak, the man who helped codify Punisher: War Zone as the slice of genius it is) takes it on:

http://gawker.com/5911532/battleshit

Rich Lawson's opinion carries more weight with me and he liked it.

He would.

Um...so I saw it this afternoon and I actually kinda dug it.

....

I know. I'm still working through the realization, lol.

It kinda felt like, Sunday afternoon tv movie rerun, like watching Independence Day or something and just laughing your ass off at the sheer ridiculousness and fun of it all. It was weird.

No matter how much I eyerolled through the lead up, the stuff with the USS Missouri in the final climax was really fucking cool. I swear. I couldn't help myself. I had to grin like an idiot.
It totally tapped in to the silly war movie thing without being all 'MURICA FUCK YEAH, totally tapped into the Navy thing without being a recruitment movie... they even use a Gulf War vet amputee as a landlubber hero in a sidebar story and it's a little corny but...I dug it.

It was over the top and it knew it, is what I think it was.

I would have hated it if like, Bay had made it. But Berg just seemed to have fun with it. Didn't take it too seriously, didn't make me watch ten thousand hours of indecipherable giant robot battles...and they did some cheesy shit with working the game into the movie that was kinda funny. And I got my wish: Plemmons and Kitsch pretty much acted out "Landry and Tim Riggins Join The Navy" in almost exact versions of their characters in Friday Night Lights.

I give it 3 out of 5 navy jet flyovers :D Good dumb fun.

plz tell us you snuck 40'z into the screening

no alcohol involved

But it would be funny as hell drunk