Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

maybe she is poor and can only afford popcorn.

Definitely not the case. Not only does she get several boxes from Endless and Zappos delivered to the office each week, but she is often talking about all the lavish things she buys and vacations she takes. She's also hinted about her parents paying her rent for her, so she's not poor. I'm leaning more towards the eating disorder than anything else.

she spends all her money on shoes and popcorn. maybe she is the heiress to Orville Redenbacher

today around 4:00 my coworker said, "LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT!!!" and pulled out two bags of microwave popcorn. i've been working at this company for 4 years, and no one has ever microwaved popcorn in the office. the timing (after reading this thread yesterday) was so perfect i started cracking up to the point that she was confused, and i had one of those "how do you explain [long ilx thread] in a quick sentence to people who don't do 'message boards?'" moments.

lol

Hahaha awesome

She wasn't a coworker in the same sense that most of the people mentioned on this thread have been, but the wife of one of my clients ate nothing but cauliflower during every day I was there.

guy just started flossing his teeth while I was talking to him o_O

haha that is super ballsy

it's like the kind of thing designed to make you feel like larry david

I didn't know what to say tbh

(other than "You're British WTF are you doing with that piece of string?!" obv)

That's just rude. What a cock.

ffs, apples should be outlawed in offices. I enjoy nature's tasty treats as much as the next guy but there is not reason I should have to put up with mouthbreathing CHOMP-CRUNCH-SLURP-SLOP-CHEWCHEW-SLURP-CHOMPCRUNCHSLOPSLOPSLURP while I'm on a conference call!

http://nozama.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54ed05fc288330120a646385a970b-250wi

Uuughh a guy I used to work with ate nectarines (I think it was) and he'd really shlllurrrrpp at them and that sound squicks me out WAY more than crunching does. There's somehting about that quiet, persistent shlup shluurrp smak dribble chew sound that makes me want to gouge out my own eyeballs. Dunno why.

This same man also farted all day long without apology or acknowledgement which was gross.

We have this employee in another dept who is a manager that completely shirks her duties.

A few months ago, she bailed on and refused to lead a training last minute, claiming she wasn't knowledgable enough, even though she was supposed to be an expert on the material per her job description. This screwed a friend of mine into having to do it.

Later, she rejected meeting invites (future-dated ones) because they were on Thurs/Fri and she claimed she "usually gets migraines lately" on thursdays and fridays and would be out sick.

So today, I see this jackass parking in Visitor Parking. The main allure of visitor parking is that it is closest to the building.

It is however reserved for ...visitors, and some days we have a lot, including clients, who need this parking. The one time I parked there years ago, I got an email asking me to move.

She's not pregnant or disabled (there's parking for both)...she is just skirting the rules, again.

Have reported it, but she'll probably get away with it as usual...

Guess I'm just gonna have to eat more quiet-assed foods like yogurt.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/ChrisGainsAlbum.PNG

ugh this coworker of mine eats yogurt all the time, and the spoon hits his teeth every once in a while and it's like CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACKITY CLACK CLACK.

you guys all seem to want to work in an office of people starving to death (except Neanderthal who has a legit beef).

you're at a place where you spend at least 1/3 of your day there - people are going to eat. sometimes at their desk. get an ipod of ear plugs or something!

(except the popcorn 18 times a day, that would drive me crazy too)

Uh, actually most offices have, or should have, a completely dedicated room for eating! My point is that I shouldn't have to listen to your disgusting eating noises when I'm in the middle of a conference call that may already be hard to hear! If your office provides you with a breakroom or place to eat, use it! I never eat at my desk, ever.

i usually do. but i'm usually super busy. and don't you have boardrooms for things like conference calls? (tho i can see that being annoying if you're forced to do a call from yr desk).

We have two conference rooms, but they are nearly constantly booked (the partners like to use them as default offices, which is fair enough as we've got an open office plan with all half-height cubicles for everyone). But that's also the problem, since we don't even have half-height cubicles (pretty standard practice for architects), noise carries very easily.

I do not have a "place to eat". Most people in my office have doors though, which probably work well for privacy and soundproofing, should they feel compelled by the crunching of my capsicum.

you guys all seem to want to work in an office of people starving to death (except Neanderthal who has a legit beef).
plenty of people in my office manage to snack or eat meals in the office without making noises like a starved spaniel.

jon, whenever we have conference calls the host is always really strict about everyone who's not currently speaking muting their line - it's a pretty bad line.

corn nuts help with crunching yrou coworkers to death

i have not worked in an office with a dedicated place to eat since 2006.
i currently work in an open office where people eat lunch and there's never a problem. which is to say, it's not types of food that are the issue, it's the people eating them and your reaction/relationship to their idiosyncrasies. a different office won't solve that. if they eat their apples in another room, something else they do will probably end up making you irate at some point.

except for the popcorn.

truth bomb

xp truth bomb 2

someone I work with totally ripped a fart near the fridge and left me to stew in it today....will not let this go unpunished

One of the partners shits all over. one of the other partners cleans it up. Cycle of life.

He shits all. Over.

And you can see that he has swiped at it halfheartedly, but there it still is. All over.

Eh I dont begrudge anyone eatin' at their desk, I just know certain sounds annoy me. Not going to make a big deal out of it though. I'm sure I am equally annoying the way I mutter to myself all the live-long day.

Later, she rejected meeting invites (future-dated ones) because they were on Thurs/Fri and she claimed she "usually gets migraines lately" on thursdays and fridays and would be out sick.

This woman is completely taking the piss, right? "I will be sick on thursdays"??? WTF?!

i was kidding about the yogurt

Trayce, yea, seriously. she got one of my co-workers so angry that she basically crusaded to go to her manager multiple times to try to get her disciplined...

Yeah I'm sorry but baldly saying "I get sick on thursdays and fridays" is just ... I dont know.

a lie!

I think the supervisor that lets her get away with that horrible lie is ever worse than she is, tbf. I have really low tolerance for managers that let people get away with that shit because it only reinforces unprofessional behavior.

my old mgr used to refuse to schedule mtgs on certain days because she knew she was going to be 'sick'

xpost well, while I love my company, one thing it struggles with is accountability. people absolutely have to shit the bed to get either disciplined or terminated.

fortunately, my department doesn't have this problem, as our leader is tough as nails (but also fair), but this lady is in a department notorious for being wishy-washy when it comes to discipline.

it's like people forgot the art of faking illness and now are pre-planning them

several ppl would, in fact, call in sick with headaches, and no one ever said a thing about it. made me so angry bc I am too good a person to do that.

There is a guy I work with that calls off of work a LOT, as in like four or five times a month, but the funny thing is its because there is always some sort of "emergency" at his apartment. I didn't really think too much of it until I started talking to some coworkers that have worked with him for a long time and they told me that he always has "emergencies" and they actually started keeping a tally of them. I kid you not, in the past three years his apartment has flooded four times, lost power eleven times, been without heat seventeen times, or had some sort of unspecified emergency about twelve times. Time for him to get a new apartment, imho.

I eat crunchy apples, just finished one. Sorry world.

I do sometimes acknowledge that an apple is particularly crunchy and apologise for the noise - no-one seems to mind too much but for all I know they're on their wee piece of Internet right now complaining about me.

I think of the apple crunching as reward for putting up with 10-20 hours of golf chat every week. Dudes play a round for four hours on a Sunday and are still talking about it on Wednesday.

I just ate a handful of sugarsnap peas.

I kid you not, in the past three years his apartment has flooded four times, lost power eleven times, been without heat seventeen times, or had some sort of unspecified emergency about twelve times

Sometimes when I've been running really late for work I start mentally inventing some home emergency to lie about. Luckily every time this has happened I have been the first person in the office anyway and so not embarrassed myself.

My new officemate has an unspecified autism spectrum disorder so I've been trying very hard not to complain about him on this thread - poor form given the title - but he talks to himself all day and slurps constantly on drinks or pen lids and I find it really quite hard to work with him a metre behind me. Think I am just unusually unable to filter out unwanted noises though - which, ironically enough, is a symptom of ASDs.

(He also inhibits my ILXing as he likes to stare at my screen and read words off it out loud, and once as I frantically alt-tabbed away from my text-mode browser he asked what the black window with coloured text was, and I lied that it was a work-related script, and then he listed every work script he'd ever seen and what colours it used and seemed concerned that he must be missing one. Damn my stupid neurotypical dependence on little white lies.)

Sometimes when I've been running really late for work I start mentally inventing some home emergency to lie about. Luckily every time this has happened I have been the first person in the office anyway and so not embarrassed myself.

Difference is, you were actually planning to come to work and needed an excuse as to why you were running behind. This guy just doesn't come in at all that day.