Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

enjoy this golden era before the first feelings of cabin fever and stir-craziness

i have been to the eden corn festival!

^consider your microwave targeted for destruction

um, i don't microwave popcorn!
my grandfather's house is just near there.

maybe i will spare your microwave under the grandfather clause

enjoy this golden era before the first feelings of cabin fever and stir-craziness

i should note that part of my work involves getting teamed with a small group of folks (6-14) anywhere from 3-5 times a year. these gigs are petty much 7 days/ week, 15+ hours/ day, and will usually for about 3 weeks straight. so i get more than my fill of other people and their stinky food and annoying tics before I retreat back home.

in fact, i've not had popcorn in at least 6 months. but the last time was popped in a kettle on the stove by an expert popcorn maker who manages to use 99% of kernels without burning. :)

i really enjoy working for a company with 10 employees, more than half of which are not in the office on most days.

Perhaps, as a sign of solidarity we should all disable our microwaves at the same time? Annoyed co-workers unite!

But then I can't use it to heat up my mackerel curry!

Now my rage is directed on the coworker that just accidentally moved an entire project folder into another location. I 100% believe that it was an accident, but I know have to spend all afternoon crawling through and making sure all of the xrefs in our drawings are still attached and properly referenced

In an old job I was moving files around one Friday afternoon to clean things up--had moved them all but not relinked anything yet, and then was told over the weekend that my casual position was ended as of right away. It was pleasing to know that i"d had my revenge without meaning to, since my boss, who eliminated my position, was going to have to spend ages tracking everything down without access to my memories of where I'd moved it all

looolll
xp

the thought of someone eating that much popcorn in a day makes me feel sick. I usually feel queasy if I eat just one by myself.

like she must be crapping pellets by now

yeah i am now more struck by this woman's eating disorder than the awful smell. obv she needs serious help.

but god i can't imagine how awful it must be to have to smell that every single day.

at my place, we have signs DIRECTLY ABOVE THE MICROWAVE warning people that making popcorn anywhere besides the first floor is disallowed.

So when I walk by someone carrying a freshly popped bag out of the break room, I want to do terrible things to them, especially cuz they burn it half the time!

Fucking burnt popcorn is so freaking carcinogenic. I've said it before, but that woman is on the A train to serious-illness town.

Also, couldnt you show yr boss/HR some of those articles on "popcorn lung" and say "hey isnt this a risk for the rest of us?" and see if they freak out? Make "we could sue" noises. Most companies hate that shit.

i vape my popcorn

yeah breaking the microwave is a really good idea

they most definitely will not just buy another microwave

just ask your superior to talk to her about it that way she won't know who its coming from & so you don't have to deal with it

you could just unplug it and see if anyone notices that's what's wrong with it
might buy you like, an hour

am i ruining the fun? idk

at my old job there used to be this woman who would glumly eat lunch in the kitchen from time to time w/ the door closed and it would always make me feel really guilty when i had to go in there for some reason

cuz she was eating your lunch?

guilty would not have been the emotion, so no

also i would never keep my lunch in a rancid communal refrigerator

This popcorn girl has exploited the single biggest weakness of democracy in the 20th and 21st centuries: If popcorn stinks, well then people whose cultures require them to microwave food which stinks such as chana masala or eat food for religious reasons could not eat their stinky, religious food without you getting upset, therefore i will continue to eat popcorn whenever i want.

Pretty much every boring, lard-ass honky I know who can't even eat onions because they're too "ethnic" realizes deep down that they themselves are the fucking problem and that smells can be tolerated in various degrees. not everyone likes every smell, fine, we'll figure something out.

Eating microwave popcorn, though, is really, really fucking selfish. Nobody likes the smell of microwaved popcorn. That's fucking selfish.

I still think a nebulous "actually, some clients complained..." is the way to put the brakes on this woman's disgusting habit. It's kind of taken as read that it's a lie, but it's one of those corporate lies that the woman will have to abide by and there's really no comeback to such a statement by your boss.

Nobody in a place of business should be eating at their desk five times a day whatever the food. It's just gross, apart from any notions of what's acceptable professional behaviour.

I think the way to put the brakes on her disgusting habit is to require everyone in the office to get a colonoscopy. When she sees what eating irradiated buckshot is doing to hear fucking insides she'll wise up.

Plus there's the side benefit of a free colonoscopy for you! Think!

Really feeling for you, it's the little things that can really become stressful. I would still recommend some direct action, you could start gagging and act like your going to be sick next time she has some?

Breaking the microwave is what I'd like to see Jon do, even though it's not really a solution. At the very least, unplug it.

I'm more emotionally invested in this matter than I probably should be.

This chick is gonna shit out an ear of corn one day. Then eat it the long way.

Man you guys really hate popcorn. Sure burnt popcorn is pretty gross but reg popcorn smells awesome. I had no idea people felt so strongly about this.

Ahh, I'm enjoying being able to actually smell my tea this morning, first day of her being out of the office.

Even cooked properly, cheap "diet" popcorn smells completely awful. Also, I think pretty much any "good" smell can become annoying when you have to smell it all day long.

Yeah I guess if it was something you smelled constantly it would get sort of annoying after a while.

Well, it's specifically microwave popcorn in an open-plan office. I love popcorn too, but there is nothing - not even mackerel nuked to cinders - that smells more repulsive than cumulative microwaved popcorn odor. Except the lingering smell of cigarette smoking in offices back when it was allowed, which smelled exactly like someone dumped Coffee Mate into the ventilation shafts.

If you want to diminish the smell in the meantime, suggest that the microwave interior is cleaned properly once a week. This will involve bleach.

I don't mind the smell of popcorn at all, but if someone is scarfing down four or five bags a day, they are bringing their eating disorder into the workplace. So the smell of popcorn might become repellant because it is associated with a person who has self-control issues.

Chana masala smells incredible as does most Indian food...however I am often self-conscious about eating hot take-out at work unless it is in the break room.

cornists

i would like to know who in this office is the culprit of little rolled up toilet paper balls that are shit encrusted and left on the back of the toilet. SERIOUSLY are you jamming your finger up your ass when you are wiping?

Guys I'd just like to say that you could all have it worse I have written about it before but I'm not sure if it was on this thread and I'm not loading 10000s of msgs to find out. When I worked as a civil servant in London, I counted the following two individuals among my co-workers

a) man who masturbated every day in the mens' room after he finished his lunch which was packed daily by his mother with whom he still shared a bed
b) someone who literally just took a shit in the middle of the mens' room floor one day

I can't say there isn't a part of me that thinks that a) and b) might have been the same guy but I'm not certain.

Yikes. How do you know about a)?

Nobody in a place of business should be eating at their desk five times a day whatever the food. It's just gross, apart from any notions of what's acceptable professional behaviour.

THANK YOU. I feel like a fucking killjoy as I seem to be the only one on my team who thinks someone bringing in a large container of homemade snacks (extra-crunchy of course!) that they munch from constantly throughout a day is just bad manners. Like, I can get a couple of pieces of fruit or whatever, but this is on top of lunch too.

Fuck that. You're supposed to eat 7 small meals a day.

Or something...I read that somewhere.

I'm extra not-give-a-fuck about my office manners lately though after they moved me from a shared office into a receptionists desk in the hallway (and apparently gave the shared office to a group of people who are in Africa half the time).

"Oh, you didn't want to see me with plum juice dribbling down my face? If I had an office again this little problem would just go away."

Fuck that. You're supposed to eat 7 small meals a day.

Pretty sure that might be popcorn girl's excuse too. I just think it's massively lacking in self-awareness, and it's also very annoying.

Yikes. How do you know about a)?

We had an overnight work thing once where we all went to dinner and then hung out in the hotel bar. People got pretty drunk and somehow this person's name came up and one of the guys mentioned that he always seemed to be doing some strange stuff around lunchtime. One by one the other guys were all like OMG you've heard him too? Every single one of them had had the misfortune of hearing this. I guess he really didn't care or try to cover up what he was doing. Oh man. That guy.

How is it lacking in self-awareness to eat food?