Conservapedia - An encyclopedia you can trust

(obviously I'm not saying homosexuals are terrifying)

"dealt with appropriately?"

*shudder*

yeah, y'know, turned into something useful for society like soap or lampshades

Many of the entries are taken from a homeschooler encyclopedia cdrom.

Homosexuals consume resources while performing none of the necessary obligations of an organism within a species (i.e. - reproduction).

FFS. So childless women are also parasites? THANK YOU CONSERVAPEDIA I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

http://kscakes.com/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/i-has-a-basso0n.jpg

Again, these are the people that Chris Hedges writes about.

http://www.rationalwiki.com/wiki/Chupacabra

I actually read a thing in a Chilean local paper's website about a Chupacabra being loose a few weeks ago. It's just used to mean a random beast or disease that is killing local goats though. But still quite quaint usage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservapedia

just checking that you mericans knows that that stuff in http://www.conservapedia.com/Drugs that "Nasty, Brutish & Short" quotes (shatner's bassoon et al) is from Brass Eye http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_Eye on drugs

Yeah, that one sounded pretty familiar.

Yeah the cake thing rang a bell.

I was just going to post the Brass Eye info, except I seemed to have left this page open on my browser for about 20 minutes without replying, and so 'tis not even truly an xpost.

there have been 2-year xposts on ILX before

I remember that!

Still boggling at the 5-second excelsior tho.

I haven't gone there, but this all looks like "Onion" style 'satire' or is that stating the bleedin obv?

I am creating a conservapedia account with a new gmail address simply so I can provide a citation to tha Hansard where David Ames asks the question. here btw

Just read the Wiki.. guess not.

Disco was a flamboyant style of gay dance music in the 70s. Disco parties were noted for their outrageous clothes, drug use, and flashing lights.

Disco music was generally made by studio engineers using session musicians, and was pressed onto 12-inch singles, an innovation which allowed for high-fidelity recorded music over a large sound system. The name derives from the French word "Discotheque", a place for playing records.

TOO GAY FOR AMERICA

Lennon subsequently apologized for those remarks.[Citation Needed]

It (Conservapedia) is not funny anymore ;_; It's just depressingly stupid.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Golf

:D

http://www.conservapedia.com/Other_gods

Hip Hop is a style of African American music in which African Americans chant over beats. It originated in the 70's in the South Bronx. Originally DJ's would loop a specific cut from popular funk or disco songs known as break beats. Eventually African American MCs would talk over the beats, mostly regarding the incredible skills of the DJ. This evoloved into the MCs talking about themselves and the amount of power money and sexual prowess they possessed.

This evoloved

DJ EvoLoved, Monday nights, 9-close, $10. Ladies drink free.

glad to see this gem is still there:

According to the origins theory model used by creation scientists, modern kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood. It has not yet been determined by baraminologists whether kangaroos form a holobaramin with the wallaby, tree-kangaroo, wallaroo, pademelon and quokka, or if all these species are in fact apobaraminic or polybaraminic. There is, however, no evidence of a genetic bottleneck in the kangaroo species which would be expected if all kangaroos were descended from two individuals.

After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land[5] with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart[6], or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.[5] The idea that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.

Other views on kangaroo origins include the belief of some Australian Aborigines that kangaroos were sung into existence by their ancestors during the "Dreamtime" [7] and the evolutionary view that kangaroos and the other marsupials evolved from a common marsupial ancestor which lived hundreds of millions of years ago.[8]

I'd take the dreamtime expalnation over creationist bullshit any day.

I just love the lumping together of aboriginal mythology and evolution. would this fall within the realms of a straw man argument, or have they just invented a totally new fallacy?

Here's a sane explanation of a "baramin", the creationist pseudo-scientific jargon in the piece above: http://wiki.cotch.net/index.php/Baramin

Thank You, this article got me thinking

This article demonstrates the wonderful thing about conservipedia! I never realized that even my reading of the bible was corrupted by the liberal thought I've been force fed (despite having conservative parents). This article, in laying out the biblical passages on the subject clearly, made me realize that slavery isn't NECESSARILY all bad. Of course, I still think slavery of G-d fearing Christians is appalling, if they are determined slaves just because of the color of their skin. But because liberals decietfully used the obvious immorality of that to discount all slavery, even though G-d plainly wills it, I was even tricked into thinking all slavery was bad.

I had read those passages before of course, I just sort of ignored them, because they made me anxious. I didn't know how to reconcile it with the force-fed liberal ideas on slavery, that ignorantly lump all slavery together with Southern slavery. I never realized how much of a pernicious influence liberal ideas could have on even me. I never even knew any liberals growing up! To think, Satan's trickery could be so wily as to actually instill ideas in me that make me anxious when reading G-d's word.

Is there any movements to reinsitute slavery properly? I mean, I know that we have so much to battle right now, abortion, and secularism in general. But it just seems so wrong that a few impure slave-owners could tarnish a biblical institution. Its hopless right now, we are so embattled, but maybe in a few hundred years we can return to a biblical way of life. And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement.

Could the article have more on the virtues of slavery? Surely there has to be some commentary on it somewhere. Being a biblical institution it has to serve a purpose. And for those of you that say "it only applied in ancient times" I say how dare you insult G-d. He's omniscient, which implies what was right then was right now, or else He would have told us to change. InTheEvent 13:53, 19 June 2007 (EDT)

hahahaha

Is he volunteering to be a slave, then?

I was gonna say - somebody enslave that guy posthaste! He'll be cool with it, it's G-d's will!

Famous Left-Wing Terrorist Groups

* PIRA
* Al-Qaeda

"Though the liberal media continues to disparage Bush's handling of the economy, they often neglect to report the many aspects of the economy that Bush has improved. For example, during his term Exxon Mobil has posted the largest profit of any company in a single year, and executive salaries have greatly increased as well."

- A thought here: Either this poster is admirably subversive or he is functionally retarded.

Many people have reported leaving homosexuality and becoming heterosexual through their Christian faith.[27][28][29][30][31][32][33][34][35][36][37]

The thing about this site is that, except for the bits that idjits like Schlafly or that fundie homeschool textbook write added in themselves, the whole thing is Poe's Law writ large. You can't tell the legit batshit ravings from the fake.

Yeah, I think a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek, like that slave thing - "And if we are biblically consistent--e.g. opposing abortion, demanding Christianity for citizenship, calling for the institution of slavery--then maybe people will see that and have more respect for our movement."

yeah, foxes in the henhouse

Meanwhile, the folks over at RationalWiki have been compiling a rolling Best of Conservapedia for your amusement and/or horror/pity.

http://i19.tinypic.com/66nbrqc.jpg

14:00, 9 June 2007 Crocoite (Talk | contribs) blocked "Sm355 (contribs)" with an expiry time of infinite (troll - removing God from articles)

For you, ILX

hahaha

Your user name or IP address has been blocked.

The block was made by Hojimachong. The reason given is '.

You can contact Hojimachong or another administrator to discuss the block. You cannot use the 'email this user' feature unless a valid email address is specified in your account preferences. Your current IP address is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx, and the block ID is #10476. Please include either or both of these in any queries.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics

http://www.conservapedia.com/Image:Wikipedia_scandals.jpg

damn

anyway

check out the key on this here graph:

http://www.conservapedia.com/Image:Wikipedia_scandals.jpg

lol at the sinbad thing being the final nail in the coffin.

The entries on each candidate... I have no words.

The "Antifa" (short for "Anti-fascist action"), also known as the ARA (short for "Anti-Racist Action") is the militant arm of the Cultural Marxist movement causing violence and mayhem in the streets of America and Europe. Despite its name, the Antifa movement is an intolerant hate group that uses fascist tactics and direct quotations from Adolf Hitler.[1][2] It has also been described as a domestic terrorist group.[3] They are also anti-American in outlook, as when descending on an otherwise peaceful protest on Berkeley Campus in 2017, one chant demanded "No U.S.A. at all!"[4]

Although Antifa has been promoted by CNN as the elite Trump resistance movement since 2017,[5][6][7] the concept of anti-fascism, especially as a far-left ideology, existed as early as World War II for propaganda purposes, where Stalin referred to the USSR as "anti-fascist", with the obvious implication that the USSR and Stalin were "morally better" than the Nazis and Hitler, using the misapplication of Nazism and fascism as being of the far right instead of being of the far left.[4]

In the United States, Antifa is an effort the counter the rollback of socialist "progress" during the Obama administration. Socialists consider all forms of capitalism as "fascist," and the repeal of the Obamacare individual mandate was a devastating blow to "socialist progress."

some grade-a word salad there

Harris has been too self-absorbed with ambition and career to settle down with children and form long term relationships. According to The New Yorker, between her break-up with Willie Brown in the mid-1990s and her first marriage at the age of 50, three years before she began fundraising, she had no heterosexual relationships with men.[74]

yeesh

Any word on whether she perhaps had homosexual relationships with men?

Most modern feminists:

• want to remove significant distinctions between how men and women dress, such as preferring that women wear pantsuits rather than dresses,[9][10] even though many feminists also want women to dress immodestly. In some cases, most infamously during the Miss America protests in 1968, feminists have even gone as far as to indicate that female products such as makeup, bras, and heels were "instruments of oppression."
• do not want gender equality; they want power for the female Left.[11]
• in movies and television, portray the men, in particular, the white heterosexual men, as inherently evil, dumb or incompetent, and the women, in particular those that adhere to the feminist agenda, as inherently good, smart or competent (note that this conflicts with gender equality).
• on that note, some movies and television programs, in addition to depicting men as inherently evil, dumb, or incompetent, can sometimes depict women who adhere to more traditional femininity, including promoting traditional family values and traditional marriage (see below), as well as expressing more traditional gender roles and natures, in an extremely demeaning manner, usually implying that they are at best brainless bimbos and at worst gold-diggers (women who only marry someone for their wealth), often with the implication that traditional femininity is considered inherently bad (which goes against the concept of women having free choices regarding how to pursue their life).
• conveniently pretend that there are no meaningful differences between men and women when that advances liberal causes (e.g., women and men equally in military combat, to weaken the U.S. military), but reject equality when that results in more money to women (e.g., VAWA funding of women's groups).
• oppose chivalry and even feign insult at harmless displays of it (see battle between the sexes).
• view traditional marriage as unacceptably "patriarchal".
• belittle and mock other women who desire to have children or raise a family[12][13]
• shirk traditional gender activities, like baking.[14]
• support affirmative action for women.
• advocate for women in combat in the military just like men, and coed submarines.
• refuse to take her husband's last name when marrying.[15]
• believe marriage implies "female servitude" when it is in fact a mutual bond.
• distort historical focus onto female figures, often overshadowing important events (E.g.: Henry VIII's wives take precedence in common knowledge to his actual reign.)
• often condemn the God-given order of gender roles, as laid out in the Holy Bible.
• object to being addressed as "ma'am," or feminine nicknames such as "sweetheart" or "honey";[16] object to -* -* other female-only names, such as "temptress".
• take offense at grammatical rules of the English language, like using the pronoun "he" when referring to a hypothetical/anonymous person, or phrases like 'fireman' and 'stewardess.'
• support the homosexual agenda.
• push propaganda that implies that women weren't allowed to be granted an education until the 1960s, and all education beforehand was granted solely to "rich white males."[17]
• demands that women choose a career over raising children without any remorse.
• criticize music such as heavy metal, rock and roll, and country for being "sexist".
• object to anyone describing Northern and Western European women being demure or Southern and Eastern European women as seductive.
• Denounce and demean any women who have more feminine traits and embrace their femininity.

criticize music such as heavy metal, rock and roll, and country for being "sexist".

Love this part.

traditional gender activities, like faking

Just curious, is there a way to tweak the Conservapedia code such that anyone who contributes is rendered immediately infertile? I'm not sure if they implemented that functionality in HTML5 or not but it seems like there should still be a way.

Sounds like the opinion of someone who's in favour of coed submarines.

I didn't want to even quote the one for Booker. xps

object to anyone describing Northern and Western European women being demure or Southern and Eastern European women as seductive.

What is there to object to?

The War on Sovereignty is a term used to describe the push by liberals, globalists, and Marxists[1] to undermine and eventually do away with national sovereignty, autonomy, self-governance, and national identity, replacing it with a "global community" or "consensus" and a one-world government. They have several methods to advance this agenda, including mass migration, so-called "free" trade agreements, and international organizations.

Due to rebellion against God,[2] naive belief in the Idea of Progress, and support for big government policies, the globalist establishment of liberal elites seeks to gradually but steadily do away with sovereignty and merge the world into a single unified political organization. In the process, they and the organizations they affiliate with either attack the notion of sovereignty or redefine it for their own purposes.

Contrary to the claims of some naive or ill-intentioned critics, the War on Sovereignty is not some "conspiracy theory" that its promoters are malevolently plotting in secret as a short-term project. In reality, liberals and globalists see it as a benign and long-term goal openly grounded upon one of the basic philosophical views accepted in contemporary mainstream society.

Flowers of Northern and Western European Womanhood vs Curvy Croatian Women

Boy, they sure do favor a wall of barely-related words over like a clear description of observable reality, don't they. If they just randomly smacked the keyboard a few times before submitting it would be the textual equivalent of speaking in tongues.

"Has taken the lead to reform FBI and Department of Justice corruption, expanding healthcare coverage for workers and small businesses, prescription drug pricing, and prison reform. Reformed Obamacare to provide portability and cover pre-existing conditions."

Many, many citations needed.

I remember the good old days when you had to wait for a friend to send you a link to some rando's Geocities page before you could dive into content this scintillating.

The fluoride-related entries do not disappoint, btw.

Notably, twice as many Democrats believe in astrology as Republicans, showing a strong bent of irrationality and scientific illiteracy among liberals.[3]

Notably, ten times as many Democrats believe in climate change as Republicans, showing a strong bent of irrationality and scientific illiteracy among conservatives. ftfy

okay i keep coming back to this dem candidates article. re: hickenlooper:

After refusing to answer point-blank if he were a capitalist, the owner of 15 brew pubs now tries to pretend to be a critic of Socialism.

what

https://i.imgflip.com/35j6my.jpg

I love how every time someone puts in an off-topic editorial comment they just leave it there, then keep adding more. It's like uncyclopedia but not deliberately a joke.