ILX quoted out of context

"little attorney's room" is hilarious.

― estaria tan orgullosa si fuera homosexual (Jesse), Wednesday, July 20, 2011 3:46 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

euphamism for balls iirc

― apichathong song (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, July 20, 2011 3:46 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ball and ball, esq.

This is way off topic. Sorry A. I will back away from your flaps!

― ilx poster and keen dairy observer (Jenny), Thursday, August 11, 2011 2:05 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wowww that sexual campfire is hot as fuck

― *steens furiHOOSly* (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, August 26, 2011 6:31 PM Bookmark

[...] it was also a dude who always brought me a daily goldfish for my room in miami.

― that's my hair no horses up there (lex pretend), Wednesday, May 18, 2011 10:42 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark

You haven't lived til you've had Bolt Thrower sex.

― Nate Carson, Saturday, September 27, 2008 6:21 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark

It's called a speculum. I threw away the one I got in my women's health class, otherwise I'd FedEx it to you.

― it was as good of a time as any to show a lighter side of 9/11 research (Je55e), Tuesday, September 6, 2011

OK, I wasn't sure if I felt like putting this here, but I will take my being quoted as a sign that I should.

DAN, ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOUT YOUR PARENTS SHIT

― max, Tuesday, September 6, 2011 2:18 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark

that is hard-hitting journalism

hard-shitting journalism

Slight bit of judiucious editing on this one admittedly...

Man, I feel like balls getting laid into like that represents some kind of grand paradigm shift

― *ter jacket (jaymc), Thursday, September 8, 2011 4:08 A

i deliver hm a hand printed card that says 'very notably discharged'

― talking heads, quiet smith (darraghmac), Friday, 16 September 2011 12:28 (1 minute ago) Bookmark

goddam iphones

I work for a company that's almost all men. There's one woman. It's a construction company. Sometimes when something like building a house comes up, all the guys end up doing it.

― Kerm, Tuesday, September 20, 2011 9:04 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

mediocre? that's stanford!

― funk master friendly (moonship journey to baja), Thursday, 6 October 2011 01:18 (2 minutes ago)

i like the titchy dick vein theory personally

― some dude, Sunday, October 23, 2011 7:18 PM Bookmark

I played an unbelievable amount of asshole in high school

― max, Thursday, November 10, 2011 7:50 AM (Yesterday)

oh i missed the period :/

― try again, fascist (Matt P), Thursday, January 26, 2012 7:16 PM (1 hour ago)

ha

seriously picturing a scowling penis in a cowboy hat
― pfunkbo bryson (some dude)

Please stare at my ass, lady. I insist.

― pplains, Wednesday, February 8, 2012 6:58 PM (1 hour ago)

Not only have I withstood two hours of dick-slapping to the face. Not only that I've paid him $22 to do it. But I'm on my THIRD go round with this one.

[...]

― The Austerity of PONIES (beachville), Monday, February 13, 2012 11:26 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

really struggling with the idea of that one fitting into any context tbh

I recently learned that in order to sex chicks you have to squeeze the chick until it poops and then examine the chute.

― flagp∞st (dayo), Sunday, February 26, 2012 11:49 AM (Yesterday)

ah, the mythical art of chick sexing.

i've heard they have chick sexing contests in japan

Dying slowly is funny.

― jed_, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 6:15 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not a quote, but I love the fact that this appears at the top of my ILX screen: "gender has new answers"

fuck this, I take my epic fantasy wide.

― Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Thursday, March 1, 2012 6:12 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

doing drugs as a teenager was just about the only thing that ever spoke to me. that and kenan's posts on iltmi

― dude (del), Monday, September 20, 2010 2:08 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha i'm hearing "oh sexy garfield" in a long duk dong voice in my head now
― some dude, Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Instinctively, I'm like "OTM" but weirdo-anal-me says "NONNONONO THAT'S NOT WHERE IT GOES"

― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, April 13, 2012 1:11 PM

i hate you

:D

I MEAN IT

hysterical

forks one of me is like...i don't think he really gets the thread though?

actually both of forks's recent ones of my posts, they don't really take on any new meaning out of context

is it from a thread abt mental illness

depends on whether you believe can personally kill 77 ppl for your wider political beliefs while being sane, i suppose

― diafiyhm (darraghmac), Tuesday, April 17, 2012 7:36 PM (Yesterday)

77 greater consciousness etc

fuck braid

― goole, Wednesday, April 18, 2012 10:27 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cursed the dyslexic blind man

[...] it was packed for space so the tall fellas would just stand akimbo over the short fellas and have at, i was, thankfully, a taller fella.

― diafiyhm (darraghmac), Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:10 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I love a fat cat, but there are some diminishing returns w/r/t the amount of butthole maintenance a very fat cat requires.
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Monday, April 23, 2012

If it is tight, sometimes you can kind of gradually work your fingers in underneath from both sides until it releases. You don't want to bend it too much, and make sure your hands are clean.

― warren harding (Zachary Taylor), Sunday, May 6, 2012 8:48 AM

i'm with the shavers. just a little bit at a time until it's perfect, you don't want to make make it too loose.

― one dis leads to another (ian), Sunday, May 6, 2012 4:30 PM

because yeah, the other option is kind of jiggling it out and there is too much that can go wrong that way.

― one dis leads to another (ian), Sunday, May 6, 2012 4:31 PM

I've been lucky enough to do it twice

― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, May 22, 2012 11:20 AM

Hey Mandee - wanna do me? I'm a Capricorn but am nothing like I am supposed to be and don't really believe any of this stuff but maybe you'll surprise me! December 28th, New York City, 9:45 pm.

― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Sunday, July 8, 2012

(✿o_O)

haha