trolls we should introduce in 2009

gorham =

http://i.min.us/ibZSAg.gif

Mitchell Party: guy who finds a way to mention either beanbags or jellybeans at some point in every single thread he posts in. eventually loses it and creates three very ANGRY threads in the space of one afternoon devoted to beanbag toss games

lol

login: bollardguy1986
backstory:amateur photographer who seeks to document every bollard within a 50-mile radius of his home. he photographs the bollards from multiple angles and dedicates an I Love Photography thread to each one, quickly flooding the board with thousands of topics. annoyed by his behavior but hesitant to interfere with such a monumental project, the mods hastily rename I Love Cars "I Love Bollards" and advise bollardguy1986 to post there instead. he objects to their attempts to "ghettoize" his work, insisting that his photos exist for the enjoyment of all human beings from all walks of life, not just bollard enthusiasts. the mods admit defeat. several subreddits catch wind of his activities and celebrate him as an ironic folk hero. in response, he storms off the internet complaining about the memefication of fine art, but not before he approves a coffee table book and a MoMA exhibition of his work. ilx collapses under the weight of the increased traffic and the sudden influx of boorish redditors

David Brooks
Fiftysomething syndicated columnist for a major American newspaper. "Leans right" politically but is more comfortable around liberals and centrists than other conservatives. Approaches ILX as a kind of cheerful anthropologist. Constantly writes these posts where he "steps back" from the conversation and writes about the "clash of fundamental values" he feels is on display.

2HYPE
four paragraph discussions about contemporary rap (like released in the past month only) with lengthy lyric quotes, continually suggests that everyone should check out Genius, calls tupac "2pak" without irony

I actually spent several days when I was on vacation a couple years ago very intrigued by the different types of bollards (and the word "bollard") and took several pictures

hello i'm bollardguy