SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A FACK FULL OF EMINEM

also this:

i also remember chris h3rman (of the clan h3rman) saying no, thanks, to the police officer that offered him a sledgehammer when it came time to bust the window of a car at a cop fundraiser in the parking lot and just punching it out with his fist. i remember thinking "i'm glad he's ok with me," because i was a nerd that had an hour and a half bus ride with bunch of fucking nutcases and he was my neighbor

platonic ideal of HSTNGS

oh man, lolol

UPDATES

have you been murdered yet etc

have u gotten a milk shake at the dairy store

where, I was dismayed to discover, the price has risen to $1.25!!!!

see how obamacare is crippling american industry

dairy store = the creamery on 61?

But yes, is arby's still alive or has our well-meaning advice not helped a poor soul in peril?

;_; did someone whip shitties on arby's face and that's why he hasn't responded

Going to HSTNGS tonight (well, at least outside of it, to my sister's house). Do I need to keep my eyes open for dead ILXors in the road?

well it is HSTNGS, there will be a dead SOMETHING in the road

Don't worry, I will take the usual precautions.

sorry guys i was wayyy busy preparing for the move all weekend--we move on sunday! we lined up an apartment downtown by the river, real high ceilings, big kitchen, cleanest one we looked at. really afraid our bed won't fit up the stairs of that old building tho. what else. found out my work has a hstngs location and transferred so my worrying of unemployment perils were satisfyingly short lived. i'm getting really pumped about all this tbh.

i met a guy who had a really gorgeous mandolin built by one of my future instructors. i have all my tools. it's weird, this stuff feels real now. like a tangible ~thing~

Yay, glad you are still alive and found an apartment! Now, have you set in a supply of damn fine hot coffee, doughnuts, cherry pie, and an assortment of weapons?

I made it back, obv, had fun at my sister's. Kids are very entertained by her swimming pool, that is for sure. I was entertained by the pumpkin pie martini my cousin made for me.

awesome, a singing, dancing martini

YES

On my way to HSTNGS, meeting my Evil Twin for dinner and hangout time. Man, if there's one thing I loved about HSTNGS, it was that I had an Evil Twin...

Survived, walked through cemetery and sat down by the river and it was actually really nice. Came home UNHARMED

Infected imo, not to be trusted

As infected as the rest of us natives are, with a deep distrust of HOME

Don't ask me why, but we ate dinner at Pizza Hut. The bathroom walls still make everyone in the bathroom appear jaundiced. It's nice that they keep that old school Hastings touch...

20 year reunion is this saturday

;_;

my TOP SECRET plans fell through, so now I am not only missing the reunion, I'm missing the thing I was originally missing the reunion for

;_;

also I thought my car would be here this weekend but it's going to be at least another two weeks

it is entirely possible i may not go - FB is out of town so it would just be me and mook against the world which isnt so bad but - ick. other people dominating my fun.

Ry4n R is gonna be there, if that matters.

You should go and report back bc otherwise I won't get to hear about it. *sob*

deX - I'm sorry you're missing so many things, that must be a sign that you should move home immediately...

I go there.

Please send me your prayers and bail money

If my $50 doesn't get me an open bar I will end up in jail fyi

godspeed

God has nothing to do with this

PRAYING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW

no bail money forthcoming, sorry, dude

I am getting the most hilarious texts from our man

Scurvy is "our man" now?

Okay, nevermind that, I want to hear about the texts!

ditto!

good lord, I SO want to text Dan right now to see if he's still up and will report back, but of course I'm not sure the cell phone # I have for him is still current.

HOW did I not anticipate this?!

one charming lady from our class was having an earnest conversation about how sometimes you just need to "punch a fucker in the eye"

one dude spent 20 minutes talking to our boy about selling shoes

another dude has gained 400 lbs and won't stop talking about his Branch Dividian church

the DJ played "P Control" by Prince and ppl got UNCOMFORTABLE

one of our classes premier athletes has not retained her grace; she attempted to jump jump as Kris Kross instructed and ended up faceplanting

OMG LOLLLLLLL

also the only person who has said hi to me via John is one of my exes ;_; UNLOVED

belay that, my 7th - 8th grade crush just said hi ^_^

I'm just flashing back somehow to a story that FB told once on a HSTNGS thread about going to St4cy M4tul4's church and her Dad making them push shopping carts around to the song "Push It"

Whew, Dan, come on you know we all love you!

hahaha yes I remember that story

So who was this crush anyway - I promise we won't tell anyone! ;)

R0b1n C4n3ff (I keep forgetting that all happened before we started hanging out)

Oh! Well that makes sense. She was cute (and still is)!

hmm

There’s a fire sale at the Trump shop in Hastings, Minnesota. pic.twitter.com/JxznIuOmY8

— bengarvin (@bengarvin) November 14, 2020

https://www.minnpost.com/mnopedia/2021/04/hastings-1907-the-burning-of-browns-chapel-ame/?fbclid=IwAR3fiKN4sk94274XL9MErbhG-cb1c-0QWq0VgBa19lzoyDssXP58HNWhHus