i mean it's a difficult balance to pull off - for every chuck klosterman there's a peak-era bill simmons, or a gabe from videogum (i don't check this site anymore unless my little brother makes me read something but even he grates on me now a little too)
― jag goo (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:36 (twelve years ago) link
this is such a shit idea for an article & he's not even remotely close to being an interesting enough writer for it not to be one of the most boring things i've tried to read in a long ass time
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:39 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6625899/three-man-weave
this was cool tho. maybe he should stick to reporting because the one thing he is not is witty, tho he really thinks he is.
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:41 (twelve years ago) link
well he can certainly tell a story better than he can just be a dude writing a funny piece
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:45 (twelve years ago) link
yeah the name is v familiar (i dont read much non-nerdy sports stuff lol) and i'm sure he's a decent writer when he just like, tries to write instead of being all cute or whatever, sorry that style i was referring to just in all seriousness infuriates me, like it might as well be in the fucking style manual that all under-30s refer to for their informal writings
― jag goo (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:47 (twelve years ago) link
I didn't read the piece but I feel like I've heard that story before in other klosterman books
anyway it's pretty funny that b simmons invites the one writer in america who's capable of making more ham-fisted analogies with pop culture than himself
― dayo, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:47 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6648606/absurdity-nba-half-court-rule
this was the other one i liked--argues that the rule where u can advance the ball to the frontcourt after a timeout in the last two minutes is unique in shortcutting the rules for the sole purpose of creating more excitement.
it's deliberately slight but idk it was something i had never thought about.
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:48 (twelve years ago) link
― dayo, Tuesday, June 21, 2011 10:47 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark
well why do you think simmons reveres him so much!
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:50 (twelve years ago) link
lol i didn't read that piece but he is otm & it's something i've thought about before
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:51 (twelve years ago) link
yeah that's a solid piece - nba has a bunch of rules like that one that are meant to facilitate scoring/offense - defensive 3 seconds, no hand checks, no turnover if guarded for 5 seconds like in college, etc
― jag goo (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 02:53 (twelve years ago) link
one of the better things simmons has dug up is that this is basically the (awesome) story of the invention of the shot clock! i like that the nba is basically ok changing rules and explaining "this will make it more fun to watch"
― a slight case of joe johnsonitis (agent hibachi), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 18:04 (twelve years ago) link
yeah soccer could take a note eliminate offsides hint hint
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 18:05 (twelve years ago) link
baseball too give every player a gun hint hint
― ☂ (max), Wednesday, 22 June 2011 18:23 (twelve years ago) link
hint hint
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 22 June 2011 18:48 (twelve years ago) link
wow what is this column http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6693430/painting-nba-trade-picture
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:53 (twelve years ago) link
i scanned through that, noted that it was certainly written under the influence of cocaine, and moved on with my life.
― Clay, Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:55 (twelve years ago) link
i think fake trade talk is frivolous fun most of the time, but this is one of the most strained & absurd columns i've ever read
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:56 (twelve years ago) link
So the Nets turned $1.50 of coins into a $1 bill; they felt like they had to overpay because it was their one chance to acquire paper.
...
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:57 (twelve years ago) link
exactly.
― Clay, Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:57 (twelve years ago) link
like i'm sure this all seemed like a good idea in the process of writing it or whatever but don't you step back and look at your insanity now and then and just hit delete
― Clay, Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:58 (twelve years ago) link
So the Nets turned a roast beef sandwich into a tuna sandwich; they felt like they had to overpay because they were tired of eating roast beef for lunch.
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 June 2011 01:58 (twelve years ago) link
You also have to feel for the Trade Machine, which will spend the summer hanging out on ESPN.com like a bored housewife who never gets hit on, looking sad, wearing tight clothes, and flirting with the pool boy in a desperate attempt to get noticed.
wait is this the O_o 2 thread?
― dayo, Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:02 (twelve years ago) link
yeah, there's not much to say about that kinda stuff at this point
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:03 (twelve years ago) link
I'm not sure how having Wes Johnson, Derrick Williams, Lamar Odom, andRon Artest helps them unless they flipped the no. 2 and Odom to Cleveland for the no. 1 and Anderson Varejao (then took Kyrie Irving)
what is this even
― frogbracist (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:06 (twelve years ago) link
an intervention needs to be staged
― dayo, Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:07 (twelve years ago) link
this coins | money thing is so weird. why do I want to change coins into bills? I can use both at the taco bell?
― dayo, Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:15 (twelve years ago) link
Without further ado, let's make up 20 fake deals separated into various categories, and let's make sure none of them include the bogus "Monta Ellis for Andre Iguodala" swap, which makes no sense for the simple reason that Monta Ellis is better at basketball than Andre Iguodala. Anyway …
fuck u simmons everyone on ilh signed off on this trade!
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:29 (twelve years ago) link
ilh has the best posting style, i'll admit
― rebel yelp (gbx), Thursday, 23 June 2011 02:31 (twelve years ago) link
simmons has written as much in the last week as he has in the previous tow years two years, its clearly taking a toll
― ice cr?m, Thursday, 23 June 2011 03:37 (twelve years ago) link
eh hem, me too
the k-lost piece on the epic junior ND basketball game is good!
― goole, Thursday, 23 June 2011 03:49 (twelve years ago) link
The plug for this column on his Twitter was "I can't believe how much time I spent on today's column. It's a staggering opus of inanity. "
Also you all should read the thing where Mike Schur and another dude watch Pakistan and India play Cricket and write a 12,000 word liveblog on it. http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6657523/so-cricket-maybe
― C-L, Thursday, 23 June 2011 03:52 (twelve years ago) link
With labor trouble threatening the seasons of two of our four major sports, a pair of red-blooded Americans look overseas to fill the potential gap.
― rebel yelp (gbx), Thursday, 23 June 2011 03:54 (twelve years ago) link
i watched some cricket when i was in india, its p fn tedious imho, theyre nuts abt it tho, like there are no other popular sports there as far as i could tell, children walking around w/cricket bats everywhere etc
― ice cr?m, Thursday, 23 June 2011 03:59 (twelve years ago) link
a programmer i work with was basically useless during that shit!! it was really endearing tbh
― goole, Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:02 (twelve years ago) link
oh he's from india, is the point.
apparently there were some crazy upsets but i forget who over whom. the dutch over the jamaicans? or something
When I was in college, I made a friend from Kenya who had never seen a baseball game, and when I asked him what he knew about baseball, he said that there was something called a catcher, and that there was "a man named Griffith Junior" who was supposed to be quite good. I found it endearing.
― rebel yelp (gbx), Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:04 (twelve years ago) link
he tried to explain what was going on and what the drama was -- apparently it's a beat-your-own averages kind of game. the batting order is stacked from best to worst, and uhh you keep hitting for some set amount of balls (6?). so basically you expect your best dudes to knock out all 6... i forget what this means for the running back and forth bit. so it's all about expected pace as the hours go by. i guess.
in the final match india had some top guys really blow it early (i think), so the middle-tier dudes had to step up and play much better. like, we have x balls left and need x(y) runs which isn't usually possible, but they did it.
anyway what i just wrote there is probably about as good as the grantland bit
― goole, Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:09 (twelve years ago) link
yeah india made an improbable comeback
― ice cr?m, Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:11 (twelve years ago) link
foreign stuff, man, what a trip
― ☂ (max), Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:13 (twelve years ago) link
I imagine how cricket comes across to us is how baseball comes across to foreigners xp
― dayo, Thursday, 23 June 2011 11:23 (twelve years ago) link
i'll admit that that piece made me read a bunch about cricket on wikipedia
― rebel yelp (gbx), Thursday, 23 June 2011 13:30 (twelve years ago) link
The big upset was Ireland over England iirc - I enjoyed that cricket piece but I suppose I would. Is there anything else worth reading on Grantland? I imagine it as a terrible wasteland.
― Gravel Puzzleworth, Thursday, 23 June 2011 14:42 (twelve years ago) link
wait wtf is this trade value in silver dollars piece really
it's just the trade value column (usually good, and a comprehensible gimmick) rewritten four months later with an incomprehensible gimmick
also, almost every "dime" player he calls "fundamentally untradeable" has been traded in the past 0-24 months
― a slight case of joe johnsonitis (agent hibachi), Thursday, 23 June 2011 18:29 (twelve years ago) link
uhhhhh David Kahn on the podcast? uhhhhh
2 minutes in and it is already AWKWARD.
― polyphonic, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 02:22 (twelve years ago) link
*tunes in*
― Clay, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 02:24 (twelve years ago) link
saw that but i'm too scared to listen.
― circles, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 03:02 (twelve years ago) link
The piece about the writer who used his garage hoop to help get over his dad's suicide felt like it should have been so much better, but that's about par for Grantland - okay writing, but without anything interesting to say.
(also, Skip Bayless is a cunt)
― bill magill (milo z), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 03:53 (twelve years ago) link
They prove to all middle-American sports fans that "Soccer really IS the beautiful game, a-holes!" (This belief is actually 70 percent of the spirit that has driven the great Northwest Soccer Explosion in MLS.)
i have had this thought, tbh
― rebel yelp (gbx), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 04:02 (twelve years ago) link
could someone do a clusterfuck summary of the simmons-kahn podcast? i'm not good with high levels of awkwardness
― get at me frog (symsymsym), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 09:00 (twelve years ago) link