Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

HAHAHAHA. What are you talking about??

Neanderthal: I know you said you don't care, but I was saying that I thought that the idea of "original sin" meant that every person is born a sinner b/c they were produced by fucking, an activity which the Catholic Church is pretty critical of* in like 99% of all instances. And I guess I thought "original" referred to a baby's origin.

This should probably be submitted to the "misconceptions you had as a kid" or "things you were really old when you learned" thread. (Ha - misconception.)

* My Stupid Church growing up taught that sex was all of the following:
1. disgusting evidence of humankind's depravity;
2. a gift from God, designed to feel amazing as a way to show love between a married Christian man and woman;
3. a sort of divine temptation, meant to lure people into marriage;
4. as Paul taught, Satan's way of distracting Christians from spreading the Word. If you were such a dirty louse that you just couldn't keep it in your pants (robe?), you should get married so that you could fuck, so that the rest of the time you could spread the Word. ("Spread ye the Word, Not yer legs").

the people in my fundie church used to go on about how sex was bad. I'm convinced none of them had their kids via sex.

didn't stop me from imagining some of them naked tho

In junior year of high school I went to a youth group bonfire where I rode a 4-wheeler with a hottie red-headed senior named Ryan. I sat behind him with my arms wrapped around his abdomen. We bounced on the bumpy trail and his ass crushed my crotch the whole way. Church wasn't all bad.

"I wanted my daughter to see the difference between REAL Cheerleaders and what x calls cheerleaders."

She also said she was surprised (black) cheerleaders wear underwear. They wear pants. Let's just say that if I were a cheerleader from back in the day, I wouldn't be calling anyone a ho.

I'm not sure a crotch crushing creates christian cream

People who have no idea what they want to eat but go up to the counter anyway and proceed to hold up the line for ten minutes while they ask 700 questions...

That is angerworthy.

When people get in the elevator and press the floor button that I have already pressed. Do they think the elevator will go faster if more people press the button? Do they think I didn't press it well enough?

like when my coworker once said of an application " you have to click the mouse hard - it likes a good hard click"

^ co-worker thinks sex is the answer to every question

actually she probably does

it isn't?

For the second time in like two weeks, a late meeting which was my sole reason in changing my schedule for today got bumped last minute, this time up.

I'm not fuming angry, but I do wish people in Central or Mountain area codes didn't just assume everybody was in their time zone.

Now I coulda just come in at my normal time...oh well

When people get in the elevator and press the floor button that I have already pressed. Do they think the elevator will go faster if more people press the button? Do they think I didn't press it well enough?

sometimes the elevator doors will respond to the button press as if you had pressed "Door Close"

I discovered you can pee in an elevator if you can just find a good crack

generally speaking, you can pee pretty much anywhere given enough time

and a urethra

true

sometimes the elevator doors will respond to the button press as if you had pressed "Door Close"

of course you could just press the "door close" button, right? idk i think pressing the button is like *declaring your destination* so you don't look like you're following someone into the elevator, onto their floor, etc...

you could theoretically pee on the door close button too

the real problem is that enough elevators have the "Door Close" button turned off that many ppl don't even bother with it

I always press my floor number to get the doors to close and the elevator to carry on with its work. I don't just want the doors to close, I want the box dangling on a wire to go places.

if i'm getting in an elevator, and there are other people already in it, i'm always keen to do everything with maximum efficiency and as little delay as possible. so i'll turn and stick my hand out toward the keypad, but then sometimes my floor as already been pressed. so, press it again.

sometimes the elevator doors will respond to the button press as if you had pressed "Door Close"

Which also does nothing.

you cold also theoretically just drop your pants and announce "anyone is free to inspect my private areas!!" instead of pressing door close

if I get on an elevator and my floor has been pressed, I turn an accusing eye on my fellow passengers and shout "WHO DID IT??? WAS IT YOU????????"

today I walked the stairs becuase I didnt wan to ride an elevator with a chef - was that wrong?

Which also does nothing.

― Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, June 21, 2011 2:35 PM (2 minutes ago)

...except satisfy my primal button-pushing urges. Those are important!

xpost, did you think he wanted to tongue-kiss you?

you cold also theoretically just drop your pants and announce "anyone is free to inspect my private areas!!" instead of pressing door close

I can't stop laughing at this.

I was being serious - its better than getting frenched in every 'vator!

I'm rather unconvinced by the pressing floor button makes door close theory. How do you guys know that the door didn't close as it would have anyway? Do you actually time this stuff to be sure? I think the elevator knows what it's doing.

Trust. It's what friends do.

Who, you and Otis?

It's one of those facts that continually makes the rounds in psych and social-themed articles, with citations, so I'd believe most close buttons do nothing.

I'm rather unconvinced by the pressing floor button makes door close theory. How do you guys know that the door didn't close as it would have anyway? Do you actually time this stuff to be sure? I think the elevator knows what it's doing.

― Kim, Tuesday, June 21, 2011 6:52 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

On some elevators pushing the floor button or the "door close" one makes the doors shut, and on some it doesn't. On the ones I use regularly, it does (work, courthouse (U.S. one, but not the state one, IIRC), and home.

I don't know if this is common, but at my workplace, you can make the doors stay open by pressing the number of the floor at which you are standing. That is until it gets fed up and sounds a terrible alarm then overrides the buttons so that the doors close.

The lift at my workplace most certainly obeys the door close button, cos if you dont press it you stand there like a chmp for a full minute before the doors close.

When you go out of your way to buy delicious fruit that you look forward to eating and it lets you down

- pluot that tasted like detergent
- fucking mealy-ass fuji apple

Boo. Grouchy snacks.

people who stand there pumping pedestrian crossing buttons are the worst.

OK, elevator irritation:

People in lift.

Person outside "No, it's OK, I'll get the next one"

Doors begin to close, person outside pushes lift button. Lift doors stop closing and open.

Person outside "No, it's OK, I'll get the next one"

(After the third time, I had to get out of the lift and chase the person saying "STOP PRESSING THAT BUTTON UNTIL WE'VE GONE!!!)

a coworker's ringtone is blur's "song 2" and now I've had that song stuck in my head for 3 days.

also, I keep expecting him to answer his phone with a loud "WOOHOO!" but instead he answers with a polite "hello".

I keep expecting him to answer his phone with a loud "WOOHOO!"

If only!

VegemiteGrrl, mealy apples are the WORST. Especially when I've been looking forward to an afternoon apple all day and then bleh.

It's the definition of disappointment!

people who stand there pumping pedestrian crossing buttons are the worst.

You wouldn't believe how many clueless tourists and sidewalk badasses don't do this. They cross with the stoplight and not the pedestrian box.

I push it so the box says WALK and if I get hit by a car, I can sue them for a million bucks.

― http://tinyurl.com/whitepony (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, October 20, 2010 9:09 AM Bookmark

http://tinyurl.com/whitepony

OMG

That's cool - does it make you irrationally angry? (I know the horse falls, but they're not made of china.)

That makes me irrationally anxious because 1) will that horse break a leg??? and 2) somebody once said of a horse rolls on the ground its intestines will twist up and it will die. Is that horse going to die, Jesse?

Healthy horses will get down and roll on purpose sometimes (for a dirt bath or back scratching) if they feel safe and unthreatened. Sometimes they'll roll because they're in gastric distresss, and it's important to keep them up then. A fall or roll wouldn't automatically be dangerous to that horse.