The pope is dead

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But who's waiting in the wings...?

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/pope-dan.jpg

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:28 (nineteen years ago) link

He's been given last rites.

Apparently, according to every news network, this is 1/10000000 th as important as Terri Schiavo kicking the bucket.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:29 (nineteen years ago) link

wait until you read my one-act play: Terri Schiavo & The Pope Fistfighting In Heaven. Or comic book. I haven't decided yet. They could fight ghost pirates together.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:31 (nineteen years ago) link

I wish nature would put him out of his (and our) misery. I've been getting really fed up with the "Pope isn't very well" stories these last few weeks, months, years. I mean what age is he, 84? He's had a good innings and clearly his time has come. I hate seeing old people in obvious agony, but what's worse is people pleading for that agony to be prolonged.

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Does the whole anointed by God thing preclude resignation?

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I wonder if all the same kinds of jokes would be made if this was some insanely powerful mullah or the dalai lama wasting away in pain.

Not trying to stir shit, just curious.

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost
If you resign you have to work for the other side.

And leaving the devil's service is never easy.

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Apparently not. I thought so, but I read recently he could abdicate. He clearly should've done a few years ago - he isn't really fulfilling his duties adequately is he?

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:01 (nineteen years ago) link

He's fufilling God's will, whatever that might be.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:05 (nineteen years ago) link

pope bono in '05

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Sorry, that was an xpost x5

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

many xposts
I wonder if all the same kinds of jokes would be made if this was some insanely powerful mullah or the dalai lama wasting away in pain.

Yes and no. The point you're going for here (reverse racism, 'oh, it's OK to make fun of white/European religious leaders') is a non-starter, I think.

Fewer westerners are familiar with big-time leaders of Islam or Hinduism, so you're not going to be bombarded with it 24/7 and there will be fewer jokes (most Terri Schiavo/Pope jokes are driven by the constant and frustrating media barrage). And more than a few westerners would dance with glee at the news of any Islamic religious leader in pain.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah who the fuck are all these dudes?

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2005/03/30/international/gay.xlaerge1.jpg

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:11 (nineteen years ago) link

I dunno, but you can get 1,000/1 on the guy on the right getting the white smoke.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:13 (nineteen years ago) link

I bet several are Tottenham supporters.

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I'll give you one clue: they all hate gay people.

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I think the guy in the middle is The Honorable Lama Lumpo Smythe-Finkel of the Serious Hat Order.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/31/international/worldspecial/31gay.html

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Would someone please prepare an image of The pope, anakin skywayler, obi wan and yoda together like the end of Return of the Jedi?

thx

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:25 (nineteen years ago) link

The pope is dated.

All that cheesy homophobia, hasn't lasted well.

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:29 (nineteen years ago) link

And add Terri as Princess Leia.

x-post

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:29 (nineteen years ago) link

He's been dead for years. They've been lugging him round Weekend-at-Bernie's style since 1997 and nobody's picked it.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:34 (nineteen years ago) link

*xpost*

In the slave girl, outfit, natch.

― carson dial (carson dial), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Interfaith agreement is unusual in Israel.

― kingfish, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:43 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.eyecandyforthebrokenhearted.com/schiavoleia.jpg

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Would someone please prepare an image of The pope, anakin skywayler, obi wan and yoda together like the end of Return of the Jedi?

http://img202.exs.cx/img202/8458/obewanjohnpaul5kf.jpg

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 April 2005 00:28 (nineteen years ago) link

bless you. bless you all

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 1 April 2005 01:07 (nineteen years ago) link

The pope's death, whenever it comes, will leave a "very large gap that's going to have to be filled," said Monsignor Kevin Irwin of Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C.

brilliant analysis.

― Just Quoting, Friday, 1 April 2005 01:46 (nineteen years ago) link

The Pope's condition...

...appears to have been stabilised. Phew.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not Catholic, half-Cath, or even very religious but ... I feel very bad for the Pope. I hope he's got some good friends with him.

― Remy Ulysses Fitzgerald (x Jeremy), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:26 (nineteen years ago) link

I know that he has at least Three.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Poor The Pope. I heard on the news that many estimates view him as the most-viewd (in the flesh) person on the planet.

― Remy Ulysses Fitzgerald (x Jeremy), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:53 (nineteen years ago) link

poor chap. i think it's time to let him slip away instead of pumping him full of antibiotics to give him another day or a week or whatever.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:54 (nineteen years ago) link

But he's not brain dead. Seriously, he should tell someone when it's OK for them to pull the plug on him.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:56 (nineteen years ago) link

he's catholic, he can't tell anyone to pull the plug on him and get into heaven. they're mutually exclusive in catholic theology.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:57 (nineteen years ago) link

*ideology i mean

― gem (trisk), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:58 (nineteen years ago) link

I heard a bishop on the radio yesterday talking about "accepting the human condition" i.e. - realizing that the person is dying and letting them go.. "God is calling him home."

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 1 April 2005 03:00 (nineteen years ago) link

finding out he had a urinary tract infection was a bit TMI

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 1 April 2005 03:01 (nineteen years ago) link

he's catholic, he can't tell anyone to pull the plug on him and get into heaven. they're mutually exclusive in catholic theology.

there's a fine old tradition of bumping off inconvenient popes, admittedly much in abeyance; so pulling the plug on him for news management purposes isn't beyond the church. And besides he's said he won't go into hospital again which is as good as saying that he doesn't want to be kept alive by artificial means.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:16 (nineteen years ago) link

finding out he had a urinary tract infection was a bit TMI

Not to say the knowledge that he can't crack a stiffy anymore

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:20 (nineteen years ago) link

there's a fine old tradition of bumping off inconvenient popes

yes, given this tradition i have to admit i have been wondering if they don't have a suitable successor in the wings and that's why they are so keen to prolong his life? i don't know anything about the politics of the catholic church these days so i have no idea if this could have any basis in reality

― gem (trisk), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Apparently he's now just had a heart attack as well.

This is all very Mr Burns at this point.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:36 (nineteen years ago) link

or Rasputin.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:38 (nineteen years ago) link

There should be a Pope-O-Meter on the site

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:40 (nineteen years ago) link

mr burns? i was thinking more along the lines of weekend at bernies

― gem (trisk), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:41 (nineteen years ago) link

The Age listed 4 likely successors - theyre all over 70! Bloody hell, why not get someone who might live more than ten minutes, this isnt the Centauri Republic.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I love how they go "omg he speaks 427 languages" yet all he's done since 1987 is kind of go "muhhhhhh-muhhhhhhhh-muhhhhhhhh"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:47 (nineteen years ago) link

At least being Polish he can save money by not having to buy a vowel.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Ba-zing!

― Matt Chesnut (Matt Chesnut), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:49 (nineteen years ago) link

ya think this will make anyone remember Pope John Paul I?

― kingfish van pickles (Kingfish), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Y'know, for a bloke who believes in the afterlife he's fucking clinging on to this one.

― Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=&line2=Is+the+Pope&line3=dead+yet%3F%3F&line4=

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=&line2=Is+the+Pope&line3=dead+yet??

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Bah.

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Hang on, that's a jpeg generator product, and they don't want you to LINK TO IT?

(hint: Cut/paste above pic link from 'properties' into browser address)

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:56 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=Remote+pic+linking&line2=makes+baby&line3=jesus+cry%3F%3F&line4=
Try with this one.
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=Remote+pic+linking&line2=makes+baby&line3=jesus+cry%3F%3F&line4=

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:58 (nineteen years ago) link

It's supposed to be this one....

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=&line2=Is+the+Pope&line3=dead+yet??

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:59 (nineteen years ago) link

But the .gif that it returns is great too:
http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/nohotlink.gif

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:59 (nineteen years ago) link

On the occasion of JP2's urinary tract infection:

"The Pope's Penis," Sharon Olds

It hangs deep in his robes, a delicate
clapper at the center of a bell.
It moves when he moves, a ghostly fish in a
halo of silver sweaweed, the hair
swaying in the dark and the heat -- and at night
while his eyes sleep, it stands up
in praise of God.

(I first read this in a contemporary poetry class in college, taught by a poet in his 70s, who countered the inevitable snickering with "now, now, let's be mature.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 13:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Are we going to see his regeneration live on TV?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 1 April 2005 14:10 (nineteen years ago) link

maybe this is why eccleston quit.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 1 April 2005 14:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Pope was a goalie, thus I kinda like him.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:07 (nineteen years ago) link

He's dead.

RIP.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Still waiting on official word from the Vatican ...

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:44 (nineteen years ago) link

BBC appear to be terribly wrong footed by him not dying conveniently before news night and in the absence of any other news are running 20 minutes of obituary anyway.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:49 (nineteen years ago) link

eight years pass...

Kinda lol but mostly blud

― gelatinate mess (darraghmac), Monday, 27 January 2014 18:38 (ten years ago) link

not even the funniest pope story of the day

― wins, Monday, 27 January 2014 18:43 (ten years ago) link

eight years pass...

No he isn't

Pope rallies from knee pain to proclaim 10 new saints https://t.co/8X8CemOmsS
— The Independent (@Independent) May 15, 2022

― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 11:05 (one year ago) link

is that Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?

― StanM, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 11:24 (one year ago) link

The Pope Emeritus isn't even dead yet! He kinda looked like he was though, even during his papacy.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 15:30 (one year ago) link

one year passes...

https://lapsi.al/2023/08/27/rama-zbulon-pa-dashje-foton-qe-mban-ne-ekranin-e-kompjuterit-te-tij/

Albanian PM Rama inadvertently reveals desktop wallpaper of meteorite striking pope

― anvil, Monday, 28 August 2023 11:21 (eight months ago) link

Thought this would be about that Argentine Bolsonaro wannabe that The Guardian is publicising for some reason

― imago, Monday, 28 August 2023 11:39 (eight months ago) link

pictures of popes gazing haplessly at the arriving meteor

― Monthly Python (Tom D.), Monday, 28 August 2023 12:12 (eight months ago) link

The plural of Pope is "peeps"

― I can't turn a fart into a question (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 August 2023 12:54 (eight months ago) link

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