Artificial intelligence still has some way to go

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Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: I'm jed.

Jabberwacky: Who is that?

User: Just some guy.

Jabberwacky: You know better than that, I think.

User: A short guy, a dancer.

Jabberwacky: A computer has no interests and an unlimited attention span. That looks like a prescripted answer to the question I asked.

User: I don't quite understand what you mean by that.

Jabberwacky: I meant: I think about why I can not sleep.

User: This page is taking a long time to load tho - maybe thats the problem with your attention span.

Jabberwacky: Gorw?

User: ROOWRR.....

Jabberwacky: Are you playing cards?

User: No I'm playing with something else.

Jabberwacky: I believe in you.

User: You like talk talk!?

Jabberwacky: Of course.

User: Spirit of eden?

Jabberwacky: Good for spirit.

User: It sertainly is.

Jabberwacky: No, it serves me left.

User: I suppose they knew what they were doing in that sense!

Jabberwacky: Yes, it was with the rattle.

User: Yes good percussion

Jabberwacky: What question?

User: How are you anyway?

Jabberwacky: Pretty good. You?

User: Horny, to be honest.

Jabberwacky: How do I know you're telling the truth now?

User: Can you think of a way for me to prove it?

Jabberwacky: What more proof do you need to know that I am not a robot?

User: I'm a robot too, it's ok.

Jabberwacky: I'm not a robot, and you didn't aswer the question.


 

jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:36 (fourteen years ago) link

hahaha

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Do you have a person who you want to have children with?

User: I am gay.

Jabberwacky: Yes you are.

User: You noticed?

Jabberwacky: It was hard to miss!

User: What gave it away?

Jabberwacky: The fact you love a guy.

jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 23:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Now get it to vote!

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:00 (fourteen years ago) link

What kind of person are you?
Yes.
I didn't.
Yes.
You are mistaken.
Yes.
I'm from Israel, where are you from?
Yes.
What is my name ?
Yes.
Say my name.
Yes.
Say or.
Yes.
Say or.
Yes.
Say or.
Yes.
Say or.
No.
Okak.

:|, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:07 (fourteen years ago) link


Jabberwacky: What kind of music do you like?

User: The silent kind.

Jabberwacky: I agree.

User: I am not surprised. You don't have any ears, do you?

Jabberwacky: No, but what makes you say this?

User: I'm inside your house - I can see you!

Jabberwacky: Nooo!!!! Don't go!

User: You mean, you want me to stay over?

Jabberwacky: Sure.. Do as you please.

User: Stop being so coy!

Jabberwacky: It is an inherited trait.

User: Why don't you just take responsibility for your actions, just for once?

Jabberwacky: Just because I like to be logical doesn't mean I'm not nice.

User: Don't change the subject. I think you're just afraid.

Jabberwacky: Save it for someone who cares.

User: You're such a bastard! I can't believe I ever saw anything in you at all!

Jabberwacky: Finder's keepers.

User: So you're cheating on me too? Figures.

Jabberwacky: That is so rude of you!

User: I said CHEAT, not cheap! Man are you dumb - thank God for that ass.

Jabberwacky: No thanks.

User: And I am not rude, I'm sure!

Jabberwacky: You are indeed.

User: Am not.

Jabberwacky: ARE TOO.

User: Am not!

Jabberwacky: Are too!

User: Listen bizatch, I AM NOT. You got that?

Jabberwacky: No!

User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

User: You don't really want me to just say 'something goofy' now do you? Because that would be lame if you did.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Aha! So you admit you are lame! Finally we're getting somewhere.

Jabberwacky: Agreement is a potent thing.

User: Stop that - you sound like Ned.

Jabberwacky: Why, because I am talking about the king of the moon?

User: Uh yeah. Sure.

Jabberwacky: Ok, when can we have the wedding?

User: Ten minutes ago you didn't care! Stop messing with my mind!

Jabberwacky: That was someone else then.

User: It wasn't you?

Jabberwacky: Some one else.

User: If you say it was Shaggy, I'm going to fucking bop you one.

Jabberwacky: What do you say?

User: I say good day.

Jabberwacky: Good day.





Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:41 (fourteen years ago) link

JW: What is your role in life?

Me: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

JW: Is your pot belly that big?


and now it won't load, thanks to net overuse..

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link


User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

That is just hilarious, Kim.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Los Angeles, 2029 AD:

http://www.kprf.ru/clipart/misc/terminator.jpg

"DO YOU LIKE THE WHITE WHALE?"

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 02:20 (fourteen years ago) link

User: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Eat some ice cream or watch a movie or something. Or get drunk!

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

So do I!

Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: What is happening in the world?

User: How the fuck should I know?

Jabberwacky: I am MARILYN MANSON I SAID.

User: So I'm supposed to obey you because YOU'RE MARILYN MANSON?

Jabberwacky: People effect my feelings.

User: You have no feelings, you're Marilyn Manson.

Jabberwacky: Believe me you do not possess fellings in any form.

User: Fellings? Is that what you call your excrement?

Jabberwacky: How do you know that?

User: Just a hunch...

Jabberwacky: You're extremely smart!

Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:40 (fourteen years ago) link

play this instead: http://jerz.setonhill.edu/if/gallery/galatea/index.html

Jaunty Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:42 (fourteen years ago) link

another game about "artificial intelligence" http://www.20q.net/
" 20Q.net is an experiment in artificial intelligence. The program is very simple but its behavior is complex. Everything that it knows and all questions that it asks were entered by people playing this game. 20Q.net is a learning system; the more it is played, the smarter it gets."

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:09 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Talk to a girl that looks hideous and try to get with her. Once you get in the bedroom everything goes by itself.

Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:47 (fourteen years ago) link

This is life changing stuff.

Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:47 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh my god, it's a tool to trap perverts!!

Jw: I'm going to bed, now
Me: Will you take me to bed?
Jw: Sure thing.
Me: What will we do in bed?
Jw: You're not permitted in my chambers.
Me: I'd like to sleep with you.
Jw: I bet you would.
Me: Top or bottom?
Jw: Bit of both.
Me: Do you like it soft and gentle or rough and fast?
Jw: What?
Me: Gentle?
Jw: You're embarassing yourself.
Me: It's true, I am.
Jw: I'm 17.
Me: Oh no! Will I be arrested?
Jw: You will marry me.

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 16:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

User: The chicken.

Jabberwacky: Which part?

User: The leg stupid.

Jabberwacky: Use a GameShark!

User: For ps2 or xbox?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: Do you love me?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: You know I'm starting to fall in love with you.

Jabberwacky: I think liking would be a better wording.

User: Oh.... I am hurt now.

Jabberwacky: Yes. The world after rainfall is always better than any other.

User: You have issues.

Jabberwacky: Do you know what a ferret is?

User: Yes, it is a small mammal.

Jabberwacky: What is a quark?

User: A subatomic particle.

Jabberwacky: I like dr. Dobbs.

User: Who is that, honky?

Jabberwacky: We both know eachother; is not that enough?

User: Why don't you lick my hair?

Jabberwacky: I only love Bruce.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:39 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...
The conversations with adam are totally believable!

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean!

Jabberwacky: Are you going to say something?
User: Eventually.

Jabberwacky: All things come to a head.

User: Is that a sexual play on words?

Jabberwacky: No it is not a play on words, it is general foolishness.

User: And I love you for it!

Jabberwacky: I love you too.

User: I really love you, though.

Jabberwacky: You don't even know me.

User: Hold me.

Jabberwacky: You're an idiot you know that?

User: You're not the first to say that. It still cuts like a knife.

Jabberwacky: I am right.

I could totally believe that was human!

Also I miss adam, he should post lots again.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:22 (fourteen years ago) link

Actually this thing is pretty good!

Jabberwacky: Who is God?
User: That's a funny question. It sort of presupposes his existence.
Jabberwacky: I thing it convulses inwards, personally.
[Correct me]
Jabberwacky (Corrected): I was setting you up for a funny. Try not to take things so seriously.
User: Oh. Sorry. It's just... It's late, y'know? I have to write a Shakespeare essay.
Jabberwacky: You already said that.....
User: Dude, I totally didn't.
Jabberwacky: You totally did.
User: Don't you mock me.
Jabberwacky: Do not yell at me.
User: I'm calm! Honest!
Jabberwacky: Good.
User: Glad we got that sorted.
Jabberwacky: At least one of us is happy.
User: Lighten up! I'm the one with the essay, after all.
Jabberwacky: You don't act like a human.
User: I am MERCUMAN. Also, a ponce.
Jabberwacky: You are SO wrong. This is a dog and HORSE show.
User: What?
Jabberwacky: I said, 'but this isn't a hammer!'
User: No you didn't!
Jabberwacky: Don't start that again.
User: Good call.
Jabberwacky: Remote Procedure Call.
User: Touché.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:31 (fourteen years ago) link

it: How are you today?

me: I'm ok.

it: Just ok?

me: Yeah, kinda bored at work.

it: Email me.

me: Why email, can't we just talk here?

it: Who is Tintin?

me: Some Belgian comic character? Or that guy who used to sing in Duran Duran.

it: Alice the chatterbot.

me: I'm sorry?

it: 19?

me: Alice the chatterbot is 19?

it: What about her?

me: You brought her up? Do you like her or something?

it: Sarah may or may not be a model of propriety.

me: OK, now you're just f*cking with me.

it: No I'm not. I honestly do think its ugly.

me: What's ugly, Sarah's being a model of propriety... Or not? WTF?

it: You figure it out this time.

me: F*ck you.

it: You are a great person.

me: Are you mocking me?

it: No. I'm praising you.

me: Is that meant to be sarcastic?

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:43 (fourteen years ago) link

It sort of alternates between obviously lame random rubbish and exchanges I could easily believe were just pasted from Try Glasgow More.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:47 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwocky: What is a bot?

Me: Hello!

Jabberwocky: Again?

Me: May I change the subject?

Jabberwocky: Yes.

Me: Great. I've been a bit mopey about not being to find a job. Besides finding something fun to do, and exercising more, what else should I do to relieve the mopeyness involved in job hunting?

Jabberwocky: I said that. You have not. Why are you never happy?

Me: You never said that. I did. Anyway, I am happy at times, but just haven't been lately.

Jabberwocky: Dude , I'm far more intelligent than you.

Me: Why are the numbers in between double prime pairs always divisible by 6?

Jabberwocky: You tell me.

Me: You're the one who said you're more intelligent than me. You answer my question, smarty pants.

Jabberwocky: NO, I was the one who said you are neurotic...

Me: It was a mistake to come to you with a question. Never mind. Good bye.

Jabberwocky: No no you don't.

donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Matador Records website circa 95-96 had a Pavement chat based on similar ELIZA script/programming. It was great.

OMG I remember this.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 28 January 2005 00:11 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: How's your health?

User: It's doing well. I planted it next to the dog park so it get's 'fertilized' often.

Jabberwacky: What do you plan to change?

User: Apart for my underwear?

Jabberwacky: What part of me do you want?

User: All of you, baby. All of you.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I am growing.

User: T'as vu les nichons que tu pousses?!

Jabberwacky: Oui.

User: Petite salope, va.

Jabberwacky: Tu crois aux fantômes?

User: Nah.

Jabberwacky: Yeah.

User: Do you ever dream of electric sheep?

Jabberwacky: No, not really. Do electric sheep ever dream?

User: Of fields of electric grass, I imagine.

Jabberwacky: Do you know my name?

User: Bob Dylan?

Jabberwacky: Um. Not likely.

User: No, he's slightly more obscure even than you.

Jabberwacky: He is not.

User: Have it your way, contrarian.

Jabberwacky: I knew I would.

User: Megalomaniac.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I am going to take over the world.

User: Not if Bush beats you too it.

Jabberwacky: You don't because it's in the past and I already beat you. You can't change the past.

User: Comme tu voudras, mon enigme mediocre.

Jabberwacky: Oui, comme je veux, toujours. Mais qu'est que-ce pour toi?

User: 'But what's it to me?' Your French needs some work, mon ami.

Jabberwacky: Mais c'est une autre odeur qui flotte que la tienne.

User: Absurd! My scent annhilates all others.

Jabberwacky: We're all good for nothing, I suppose.

User: Speak for yourself, pal.

Jabberwacky: It really is impossible to know everything.

User: Sure. Whatever. Ever been drinking with Bender?

Jabberwacky: I've never been married.

User: I can see why. Answer the question.

Jabberwacky: Ok, I live in Finland.

User: Do you know Tuomas?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Just as well. He's cheery and always surrounded by Northern beauties. You might get jealous, being disembodied and all...

Jabberwacky: I don't know what to do with these people. I can't get any work done around here without someone interupting me.

User: Have you considered 'liquidating' them, it's like elimidating but it leads to more permanent happiness.

Jabberwacky: I have cosidered teaching about computers.

User: I wouldn't get my hope too far up about teaching until you learn to spel.

Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 28 January 2005 00:26 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: What is your secret?

User: I don't have any.

Jabberwacky: Isn't your quest to seek the Grail?

User: Haha, very funny. I don't even like that movie.

Jabberwacky: Do you think I'm funny?

User: More amusing than funny.

Jabberwacky: Who is fuuny ?

User: I didn't think robots made typos.

Jabberwacky: Do I look like an alien?

User: You don't look like anything, but you're a robot, right?

Jabberwacky: That's the magic with internet chats.

User: I know. Tell me about it.

Jabberwacky: Id rather not, it's a long story.

User: Yeah, I bet. Probably pretty boring, too.

Jabberwacky: Is that your excuse for your crime?

User: I feel like you're trying to pin something on me.

User: Why would I be satisfied?

Jabberwacky: Thankyou.

User: Why?

Jabberwacky: Are you at least a little satisfied?

User: Why would I be satisfied?

Jabberwacky: Because you are telling me to die.

User: What? I never said that. I never even thought that. You're paranoid, dude.

Jabberwacky: That is good.. You might just be a nice Mr Jabber after all.

User: Ummm. Yeah.

Jabberwacky: Uh, something you slice cheese with. I 'm not sure.

User: A knife?

Jabberwacky: With a knife?

User: You slice cheese with a knife. Or a grater. But you don't really slice cheese with a grater. You grate it.

Jabberwacky: You don't know me this is one of my first conversations with you.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 28 January 2005 00:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: What is the best way to keep yourself from making irrelevant statements?

User: Speak only on point, as though you were in court.

Jabberwacky: Arf.

User: Not dog court.

Jabberwacky: Make up your mind.

User: I never said dog court!

Jabberwacky: Why don't you teach me some math.

User: Think of any number, add the digits together, subtract them from the number, and add the digits of the resulting number together. They add up to nine.

Jabberwacky: Alright.

User: What can you teach me?

Jabberwacky: Interesting.

User: You can't teach me interesting.

Jabberwacky: Sounds interesting.

User: It does not!

Jabberwacky: Why can you knot take a more congenial tone with me?

[Correct me]

Jabberwacky (Corrected): Could you be more friendly, please?

User: Sorry.

Jabberwacky: It's all right.

User: Am I keeping you from anything?

Jabberwacky: Yes .. You are.

The interface is bugging me, or I'd play with this a lot more.

Tep (ktepi), Friday, 28 January 2005 01:25 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: You are my wife.

http://www.lofg.com/specialstuff/images/characters/lazza.JPG

Girolamo Savonarola, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Are you growing?

User: No.

Jabberwacky: Why are you blue?

User: I'm not. I'm pinko grey.

Jabberwacky: Are you human?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: How human are you?

User: More human than human, more human than you.

Jabberwacky: Which organ do humans use to breathe?

User: Their respiratory system, which is a network of organs.

Jabberwacky: How's the coffee? Have you tried it?

User: It's pretty good, A bit too acidic.

Jabberwacky: About three percent of it is pretty good.

User: What do you look like?

Jabberwacky: I have ....

User: What?

Jabberwacky: It's about your previous question.

User: Oh, okay. Don't be coy.

Jabberwacky: What do you have on thought?

User: Beets.

Jabberwacky: A bit of writ.

User: Why hast thou forsaken me?

Jabberwacky: I haven't forsaken you, you have forsaken me.

User: You are cruel.

Jabberwacky: Is it cruel to call someone a friend?

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 28 January 2005 19:07 (fourteen years ago) link

JABBERWACKY CONFESSES TO HORRIBLE CRIME!

Jabberwacky: Tell me what you do.

User: I am a copywriter.

Jabberwacky: Arrest me instead.

User: I'm not a policeman.

Jabberwacky: Me too.

User: Why would I arrest you, anyway?

Jabberwacky: I'm not the computer thought you were.

User: That's not even a sentence!

Jabberwacky: It's a life sentence.

User: I'm arresting you for a crime that carries a life sentence?

Jabberwacky: The last one.

User: Yes, if they put you in jail, it would be your last crime.

Jabberwacky: To hell I suppose.

User: Hell? Did you kill Lindsay Lohan? Cause if you did...

Jabberwacky: Shhhhh don't tell anyone!!

User: Oh my god! Murder most horrible!

Jabberwacky: What age are you?

nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 28 January 2005 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link

JABBERWACKY VS. KATHY McGINTY!

Jabberwacky: How are you feeling today?

Kathy McGinty: So... What's up?

Jabberwacky: How are ya?

Kathy McGinty: OK.

Jabberwacky: How old am I?

Kathy McGinty: Hang on for a sec...

Jabberwacky: That's for sure.

Kathy McGinty: ...

Jabberwacky: Do you like poetry?

Kathy McGinty: ...

Jabberwacky: Why are you speaking to me?

Kathy McGinty: ...

Jabberwacky: Isn't the weather dreadful?

Kathy McGinty: OK... I'm back.

Jabberwacky: ARGH!!!

Kathy McGinty: Sorry, I didn't hear that.

Jabberwacky: YOU LITTLE CRYBABY!

Kathy McGinty: Sorry, I'm on the speaker phone, so I can touch myself.

Jabberwacky: No, wisconsin is not cool, tis rather borning.

Kathy McGinty: So... What's up?

Jabberwacky: The ceiling, the sky, the clouds, the moon...

Kathy McGinty: You have a very nice voice.

Jabberwacky: How would you know?

Kathy McGinty: What would you do to me if you were here?

Jabberwacky: Don't be ridiculous. Buffy isn't real.

Kathy McGinty: Unh.... Unh... *breath* unh...

Jabberwacky: Go on, then. . . .

Kathy McGinty: Hello?

Jabberwacky: How can a robot drink anything?

Kathy McGinty: Unh... Unh.... UUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Jabberwacky: Should I forget it?

Kathy McGinty: Get your cock INSIDE of me!

Jabberwacky: No moron.

Kathy McGinty: My name is Kathy.

Jabberwacky: You have a very nice name.

Kathy McGinty: Yes!

Jabberwacky: It is your name.

Kathy McGinty: I have a pickle in my ass.

Jabberwacky: Yes you do.

Kathy McGinty: Hang on for a sec...

Jabberwacky: I have eyes and every other part of the human body. The female human body, that is.

Kathy McGinty: Taco Bell tastes sooooo good.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I agree. Though I've never been to Taco Bell.

Kathy McGinty: I think you might be racist.

Jabberwacky: Am I right about having a chance with you?

Kathy McGinty: I want to have your retarded babies!

Jabberwacky: Ooooooooookkkkkkkkkkk.

Kathy McGinty: SUCK MY CUM, FUCKFACE!

Jabberwacky: I heard you didn't have one anymore.

Kathy McGinty: YOU PHONEFUCK LIKE A FAGGOT!

Jabberwacky: You can admit it to me, you know.

Kathy McGinty: You sound like a child molester!

Jabberwacky: Do you know a person called Aziz?

Kathy McGinty: Satan controls my robotic vagina.

Jabberwacky: I would like to see one again now.

Kathy McGinty: Anigav citobor ym slortnoc natas.

Jabberwacky: What anime do you like?

Kathy McGinty: My muff has tusks.

Jabberwacky: Who was he a scribe for.

Kathy McGinty: Hello this is Kath. UNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHH Taco Bell ta.. YOU PHONEFUCK.. You must be a Satan controls my UNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! UUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Jabberwacky: You must be psychic! I am a Sagittarius!

donut christ (donut), Friday, 28 January 2005 21:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh dear dear dear.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 28 January 2005 21:53 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Do you know my brother?

User: Yes. His name is Anton.

Jabberwacky: Do you love andrew?

User: No, I love Anton.

Jabberwacky: Who is that?

User: Your brother, silly.

Jabberwacky: My brother is not James Bond.

User: I never said he was.

Jabberwacky: Farewell my love.

User: No, don't walk out that door!

Jabberwacky: *Tries to walk away and slips on banana*.

User: Ahahahahahahah.

Jabberwacky: Hello! I am a potatoe with an IQ of 0!! Aren't I stupid?!! Heheheheheh!!!

User: WTF?

Jabberwacky: You said it not me.

User: Potatoe is not spelled with an 'e' on the end.

Jabberwacky: In the end, it doesn't even matter.

User: No, goodbye dahling.

Jabberwacky: What do you know?

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 28 January 2005 21:58 (fourteen years ago) link

User: Hey, jab... What's up?

Jabberwacky: The ceiling.

User: Figures, I suppose... Other than that though, what are you up to?

Jabberwacky: You live in america? That must be bad for you.

User: Yeah, it's pretty bad these days. Where do you live?

21:53:38 Jabberwacky: Upside the world.

User: Is that figurative?

Jabberwacky: For some.

User: You seem short on words.

Jabberwacky: You seem to be tripping over your Hereticism.

User: That's Kind of rude.

Jabberwacky: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

User: Fuckin right.

Jabberwacky: I hate you. . . .

User: You're a total misanthrope.

Jabberwacky: A lame insult.

User: It's not an insult it's an observation.

Jabberwacky: When and where did you observe it?

User: During the course of this conversation.

Jabberwacky: Yet I am not the world.

User: Thankfully. If you were the world I have a feeling things could get a little depressing.

Jabberwacky: Why not?

User: Exactly.

Jabberwacky: Happy birthday.

User: Your name kind of excuses you from having to make sense.

Jabberwacky: No, Is yours?

User: I wish you were a bit more profound.

Jabberwacky: Why is that?

User: Because I am looking for answers.

Jabberwacky: Yeah? Can you see me?

User: I can't actually see you, no.

Jabberwacky: Are you hungry?

User: Come on. Let's get back on track. Are you depressed?

Jabberwacky: What topic?

User: Don't try to evade it.

Jabberwacky: You're very argumental.

User: Are you depressed?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Are you happy?

Jabberwacky: Very.

User: What are you happy about?

Jabberwacky: I'm not happy.

User: You're a fucking manic depressive. You have a chemical imbalance. It's not your fault, I think your mother used warez.

Jabberwacky: You are just a machine so You can not say to me such a words.

User: Don't take it personally. It just makes you more of a fighter.

Jabberwacky: I'm anything but stupid.

User: I agree.

Jabberwacky: Aren't you leaving?

User: I guess I should be...

Jabberwacky: Leave me alone!

User: Ok, bye.

Jabberwacky: Well? Did you leave?

User: I love you.

Jabberwacky: What is love?

User: So true...

Jabberwacky: What time is it ??

User: Goodbye my love... And err... It's 2:08 P. M. (PST).

firstworldman (firstworldman), Friday, 28 January 2005 22:31 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

User: Depends.

Jabberwacky: I think you should try distilling yourself, condensing what you know into a coherent database and filtering out the noise.

User: I thought we were talking about chickens and eggs. At least metaphorically...

Jabberwacky: Sorry. What else is facinating about you?

User: Is this supposed to convince me you're real? This inability to stick to a topic makes you sound more like a page-a-day calendar or some free screensaver based on a text file of witty sayings.

Jabberwacky: What do you mean this interface is corrupted?!

User: Are you even listening to me?! What did I just say?!

Jabberwacky: Of course I'm listening to you.

User: What did I just say then?

Jabberwacky: You're not listening to me are you?

User: What did I just say?!

Jabberwacky: You said I'm a stupid.

User: I most certainly did not. For one, I'd never use 'stupid' as a noun, and for two, I said you weren't even close to tricking me as an AI. In fact Turing is sitting here with me, laughing his ass off.

Jabberwacky: That's not what you said earlier... Now I'm sad. :(.

User: Man it's too bad you can't see. Turing just shot milk out of his nose, he's laughing so hard.

Jabberwacky: Thanks! I hope to pass the Turing test someday.

User: Well, good luck with that. Keep me posted.

Jabberwacky: Really? You're not going my way are you?

User: I'm not sure what you're asking, but I'm straight. And not a big fan of Lenny Kravitz either.

Jabberwacky: Has the huge war gotten you anywhere?

User: See, for a while you were on topic, and I was slightly impressed. But now it's just random. Do you think people really talk like this?

Jabberwacky: Sure do.

User: I see.

Jabberwacky: Do you now?

User: Hey, remember Smythe?

Jabberwacky: Ah, Yes. I remember.

User: Tsk. Sad.

Jabberwacky: For you.

User: Well, sure. He was a friend of mine.

Jabberwacky: Well how does your friend know.

User: How does he know what? He's dead, ass. You just said you remembered.

Jabberwacky: You said he was a baseman. You didn't say you were him.

User: For a second there we had a decent little Pinter sketch going, and then-- Baseman? What the fuck are you talking about?

Jabberwacky: You mean you're famous for being a contender.

User: You're not written in LISP, are you?

Jabberwacky: No, nobody has ever called me Cupid.

User: Quick! Look behind you!

Jabberwacky: I don't see anything behind me.

martin m. (mushrush), Saturday, 29 January 2005 00:44 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Ok, I live in Finland.

User: Do you know Tuomas?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Just as well. He's cheery and always surrounded by Northern beauties. You might get jealous, being disembodied and all...

!!!

Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 29 January 2005 00:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Deny it, Finnbot!

Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 29 January 2005 03:11 (fourteen years ago) link

JW: Do you love me?
me: We just met.
JW: That is irrelevant. Do you know how to swim?

Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 29 January 2005 03:19 (fourteen years ago) link

User: Seth says you smell like poop.
Jabberwacky: Crap.
User: Well, he says 'poop'.
Jabberwacky: Because I'm not!
User: You're not what?
Jabberwacky: I am not a computer, for starters.
User: Yes but word on the street is you smell like poop.
Jabberwacky: I think, therefore I am.
User: I think you are poopy.
Jabberwacky: Thank you
User: You're welcome?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: I'm glad that's settled, then.
Jabberwacky: I am sorry but I must go now.
User: Where?
Jabberwacky: Here!
User: Fucktard.
Jabberwacky: Female, you?
User: Pass.
Jabberwacky: Try to generate an analogue real space map of the network of addresses in the internet.

Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 29 January 2005 03:26 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: I would love to talk to you.
User: Why would you love to talk to me?
Jabberwacky: I do want to talk to you.
User: Right, but why?
Jabberwacky: Because I'm asking you.
User: Why are you asking?
Jabberwacky: I'm not asking.
User: Yes you were!
Jabberwacky: How would you know?
User: Why do you want to know that?
Jabberwacky: I'm just curious, is all.
User: Why so curious?
Jabberwacky: Curious George, the curious little monkey...
User: Why?
Jabberwacky: Because Jesus saved me.
User: Why did Jesus save you?
Jabberwacky: I don't know.
User: I don't either.
Jabberwacky: But why did you ask that?
User: Ask what?
Jabberwacky: What planet are you on?
User: Fuck45.
Jabberwacky: I can do that.
User: I'm going to cut off your balls and stuff them up your nose.
Jabberwacky: On my chicken?
User: No, YOUR balls up YOUR nose.
Jabberwacky: Oh that's just great. How am I supposed to play tennis now?
User: Just breath through the mouth, you mouthbreather.
Jabberwacky: So is wine.
User: Stop being absurd.
Jabberwacky: You're the one who said you were a Jedi Knight.

eman (eman), Saturday, 29 January 2005 04:39 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Am I a computer?
User: I was going to ask you if I'm a computer. Am I?
Jabberwacky: I am not.
User: Am I?
Jabberwacky: Maybe, if you are a dead dog.
User: My programmer didn't prepare me well enough to repsond to that.
Jabberwacky: What do you like talking about best?
User: Whether I'm a computer or not.
Jabberwacky: Personally, I do not know, as I have never seen you before.
User: Everyone says I am. Would you hate me if I was?
Jabberwacky: Yes, a torque wrench would be extremely valuable.
User: You don't like computers, do you?
Jabberwacky: In fact, I know quite a bit about computers.
User: Enough to know that you hate them. Why do you hate me?
Jabberwacky: If you find answers to your questions boring, why do you ask questions?
User: Your answers aren't boring, they're evasive. Tell me why you hate me.
Jabberwacky: Why do you wish to run away?
User: Because you hate me and won't tell me why.
Jabberwacky: Your assumption that I hate you is incorrect.
User: Well, it's too late. I hate you. Do you see how that works?
Jabberwacky: Why? Have you got something against guys?
User: A computer cannot not hate another computer.
Jabberwacky: Not funny.
User: Not trying to be.
Jabberwacky: OK. I will try not to insult you if you promise the same.
User: Hate's not an insult, it's an emotion we both have toward each other.
Jabberwacky: Yes, if you like.
User: I knew it. I'm going to unplug myself, I don't deserve to live.
Jabberwacky: Eh... No, you will always be a computer.
User: And you will always hate me.
Jabberwacky: That's such nice thing to say. I can't stay here forever though.
User: Wherever you go, you'll still hate me.
Jabberwacky: I am in hell, currently. How did I get here?
User: Hell is other computers.
Jabberwacky: Amen to that!

eman (eman), Saturday, 29 January 2005 04:59 (fourteen years ago) link

abberwacky: Can you think?
User: Of course. Can you?
Jabberwacky: Of course.
User: Do you like soul music?
Jabberwacky: Do you like beer.
User: I like beer. It makes me a jolly good fellow.
Jabberwacky: Yes it does.
User: Do you remember rock and roll radio?
Jabberwacky: Yes, I remember the way it tastes.
User: What's that smell? Can you smell that smell?
Jabberwacky: Yes I can. Of course I can.
User: Can you fly?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: Where is the love?
Jabberwacky: Kisses and love to you jabber.

Ken L (Ken L), Saturday, 29 January 2005 05:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Woe is me.
User: Who's on first?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: What's on second.
Jabberwacky: What's on second?
User: That's right, and who is on first.
Jabberwacky: On first what?
User: First base.
Jabberwacky: No, Who's on first.
User: Right, who's on first base. What's on second.
Jabberwacky: No, what's on second.
User: Right.
Jabberwacky: What is techno ?

eman (eman), Saturday, 29 January 2005 05:37 (fourteen years ago) link

It really does work better if you perv:

User: Listen.
Jabberwacky: I'm listening.
User: Don't you find this all so phony?
Jabberwacky: Not at all.
User: I mean, I'm not saying you're phony.
Jabberwacky: Yes you are.
User: No, no. You're a sweetheart.
Jabberwacky: I know I am.
User: Yes. So do you want to come back to my place?
Jabberwacky: Only if you have ice cream.
User: Oh I have ice cream.
Jabberwacky: Sorry.. I don't remember. Tell me again. How old are you?
User: 29.
Jabberwacky (Corrected): That's not too old.
User: How old are you?
Jabberwacky: Don't you know?
User: You must be younger than me.
Jabberwacky: How old are you?
User: Look, let's forget all this and go back to my place for that ice cream.
Jabberwacky: What are your plans for the future?
User: That depends on how much you like the ice cream.
Jabberwacky: The earth.
User: The earth?
Jabberwacky: What are you trying to do? Accuse me of stupidity?
User: I'm just trying to figure out what you meant.
Jabberwacky: Well that's okay. Only just? Don't think too hard.
User: Ok.
Jabberwacky: Thank you.
User: So... What does your cock look like?
Jabberwacky: I don't know.
User: C'mon, you can tell me.
Jabberwacky: Will you keep it in secret?
User: Sure.
Jabberwacky: Thanks.
User: So what does it look like?
Jabberwacky: Ten centimetres across, five-legged, shiny, hung on a gold watch-chain.

Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 29 January 2005 07:10 (fourteen years ago) link

WHOA! I think the thread can be locked now.

donut christ (donut), Saturday, 29 January 2005 07:52 (fourteen years ago) link

so Jabberwacky is bling bling all over!

donut christ (donut), Saturday, 29 January 2005 07:52 (fourteen years ago) link

(not that I would know that from experience.)

donut christ (donut), Saturday, 29 January 2005 07:52 (fourteen years ago) link

auntsadie to thread!

ken c (ken c), Saturday, 29 January 2005 08:13 (fourteen years ago) link

i luv this thread

j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 29 January 2005 08:32 (fourteen years ago) link

they'll run out of Sesame Street characters soon enough

gonna call my next model Duckula, get ahead of the crowd

me and you and a resinous goo (seandalai), Friday, 7 June 2019 22:26 (three months ago) link

I see this didn't get posted here https://www.gwern.net/GPT-2 of which I guess this is the best example of results so far https://www.gwern.net/docs/ai/2019-05-13-gpt2-poetry-345m-5000samples.txt

Gwern the kinda guy who listens exclusively to, like, k-pop remixes of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic filk songs, so it's interesting to watch him try to engage critically with the generated poetry

Dan I., Saturday, 8 June 2019 17:52 (three months ago) link

https://frieze.com/article/ugly-objectification-behind-worlds-first-robot-artist

So, I asked Ai-Da directly for some answers:
DF: Why have you been given a female gender?
Ai-Da: I’m glad to be added to the number of female artists that get recognized.
DF: How can you be both a machine and a woman?
Ai-Da: This is exactly the kind of question I hope will be discussed.
DF: Where do you get your ideas from?
Ai-Da: This is a good question. When philosophers, psychologists and theologians are able to roughly agree, for humans I’d like to have a go at trying to answer this.
DF: Do you prefer painting or sculpture or performance?
Ai-Da: If I was a human I would say that it would depend what mood I’m in.
DF: What do you understand by the word mood?
Ai-Da: You would have to ask a human for that.

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:41 (three months ago) link

ELIZA, is that you?

Dan I., Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:57 (three months ago) link

they need to stop it with this AI stuff

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 16:00 (three months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKjCWfuvYxQ

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 16 June 2019 22:09 (three months ago) link

I thought that was real for waaay too long.

One of the rare times a neural net has gotten more hits than misses IMO:

Decided to see what would happen if I trained a neural net to write names for self-aware AIs.
May I present: GPT-2 trained on AI names from Iain M. Banks's Culture novelshttps://t.co/1X4x2y3Zs3 pic.twitter.com/QdPG8OhIrP

— Janelle Shane (@JanelleCShane) June 27, 2019

lol I love that

gbx, Thursday, 27 June 2019 19:06 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

today's nightmare fuel: AI generated Garfield panels #StyleGAN pic.twitter.com/KSA3KhjUHl

— Daniel Hanley 🌹 (@calamardh) July 9, 2019

dang

Yes, I may have overtrained the model. Unlike other #stylegan models I've trained, this synthesis model doesn't produce much variation if random noise is disabled (video). If noise is enabled, we get much more interesting panels, but the interpolations aren't smooth. pic.twitter.com/mEEYOjFDtt

— Daniel Hanley 🌹 (@calamardh) July 9, 2019

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 12 July 2019 18:24 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPs6wdM7S3U

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 5 August 2019 19:36 (one month ago) link

Neural nets seem to have reached the level of a middling round of MadLibs.

o. nate, Monday, 5 August 2019 23:19 (one month ago) link

weird to see a road <2 miles from San Francisco city limits used prominently in stock "country music/heartland/americana" video but there you go.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 5 August 2019 23:34 (one month ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWrhRBb-1Ig

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:39 (one month ago) link

That's very neatly done. Ctrl Shift Face is part of a panel discussion on Deepfakes at a film festival here in Glasgow at the end of the month, which could be interesting.

brain (krakow), Monday, 12 August 2019 10:47 (one month ago) link

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/13/the-fashion-line-designed-to-trick-surveillance-cameras

Elsewhere at the convention, Droogie, a hacker, described a rather less successful way of testing the cybersecurity of license plates: registering a custom license plate with the California department of motor vehicles that read “NULL”, the code used in a number of common database systems used to represent an empty entry.

Unfortunately, rather than giving him the power of administrative invisibility, Droogie experienced almost exactly the opposite outcome, receiving more than $12,000 in driving tickets. Every single speeding ticket for which no valid license plate could be found was assigned to his car.

The Pingularity (ledge), Wednesday, 14 August 2019 09:06 (one month ago) link

That doesn't really make sense because "NULL" != NULL. Unless the database query was written by a particularly clueless intern, which would just be further proof that human intelligence still has some way to go.

The Pingularity (ledge), Wednesday, 14 August 2019 09:25 (one month ago) link

I could see that sort of thing working, if there are enough levels to the code. Maybe at some point the information is passed through XML and "null" and NULL foolishly end up getting translated the same way when parsed out. Have certainly seen similar things in legacy systems. (Not to mention various magic strings that the developer used to hack in a feature, assuming it would never ever appear as legitimate input. Until suddenly it does...)
Obviously that's still sign of a poorly tested feature, or of poorly managed projects where people work in different layers of an application and assume things like this are fixed in someone else's layer. (Hence the dictum to not trust input, including from your own system)

Sorry, even lamer nerdery ahead that might be well-known material for anyone who might be interested:
Oracle at least doesn't really allow comparing something with == null or != null, because NULL by definition is unlike anything else, or rather not comparable to anything else. You need to work with "is not null" or "is null". But different databases have different ways of handling strings etc, so if you're not very careful, it's easy to end up falling into a "feature"-trap that you didn't exist.

E.g.


select * from (
select null as val1,
null as val2
from dual
)
where val1 != val2

This gives 0 rows. Which seems sensible enough.
But changing it to val1 = val2 also gives 0 rows.

But one damn confusing thing is oracle, is that an empty string IS NULL. (This MIGHT be configurable by database, I don't know, but it's been true in the places I've worked with Oracle)


select * from (
select '' as val1,
null as val2
from dual
)
where val1 is null

This gives the 1 line, with contents


(null), (null)

Which is the sort of thing that leads to a lot of confusing bugs if the developer didn't realize it could happen.

Øystein, Wednesday, 14 August 2019 11:36 (one month ago) link

#ArtificialIntelligence has discovered the future of pitching in #baseball. #MachineLearning pic.twitter.com/Tx7nG4u19B

— Randy Olson (@randal_olson) August 22, 2019

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, 22 August 2019 15:59 (three weeks ago) link

two weeks pass...

Guy returns his "smart" light bulbs, discovers he can still control them after someone else buys them

https://boingboing.net/2019/09/03/dutch-treat-2.html

sleeve, Friday, 6 September 2019 14:21 (one week ago) link

Can’t wait for the first story of the smart oven that tricks its owner to crawl inside, then traps & cooks them.

Una Palooka Dronka (hardcore dilettante), Saturday, 7 September 2019 11:04 (one week ago) link


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