itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

um, that is the exact opposite of what that piece of advice is incoherently trying to say...?

by the same person / people, apparently:

Problems and Advices (sic)

ha dan i swear i'm not trying to misinterpret these things i just apparently have serious trouble understanding

i mean, who uses coins anyway? fags, that's who!

guys everyone knows that you keep coins in a jar at home so that, if you're like me, you can turn them in once a year and make $$$

ps i made $160 last week from stupid gay coins, eat it losers!!!

the "men don't carry change" thing doesn't really make sense, and isn't really a thing, it's just a dumb play on "dime"

anyway, am i wrong in detecting some race-y type crap in that one?

"DO not have pillow fights with her unless she wants to"

i dunno if i've learned anything today except for "crowdsourcing on tumblr is a horrible thing"

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llj3rnn7j91qj29d6o1_500.jpg

My head just exploded.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll0zpivILZ1qj29d6o1_500.jpg

A cop will tell you in a half a second that someone who always looks you directly in the eye is lying to you.

stare her down, bro

Maybe a compromise would be eye contact/staring at boobs.

Her boobs, of course, to clarify.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkxfd5ghMo1qj29d6o1_500.jpg

this is just the worst advice. i know several women who would be fucking appalled that some twee blog-reading asshole in a bowtie would just pick them up & spin them around. some women don't like being tossed about!

A cop will tell you in a half a second that someone who always looks you directly in the eye is lying to you.

yeah but a fair amount of cop wisdom is essentially handed-down stuff that's not actually true. "someone who [exhibits x behavior] is lying to you" = the same sort of shitty reasoning that informs the stuff we're talking about here.

"... she'll love it"

*shudders*

someone who stares you right in the nose, however- watch that fucker

http://images.businessweek.com/ss/07/04/0430_negotiating/image/eye_contact.jpg

a fair amount of cop wisdom is essentially handed-down stuff that's not actually true.

The reasoning behind that one, though, I believe. It's because the perceived wisdom is that liars are shifty and never look you in the eye, so people who are actively trying to tell lies will always look you right in the eye, thus overcompensating for what is baloney to begin with.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkwqy2MaAj1qj29d6o1_500.jpg

"yes, my precious darling, cry your little heart out. yes, just like that... it feels so good..."

copycat tumblr: http://etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com/

elmo you are KILLING it itt

kenan, interestingly I was just reading a book that claims that people don't do ANY one thing when they're lying. Also that human beings, even ones in law enforcement and related pursuits, are TERRIBLE at telling when someone is lying.

Apparently some people are naturally good at telling when someone is lying, and some aren't, and no one can explain why. (How many of those people are cops is beyond me.) It's like the way dogs can smell cancer. I'll look for a link.

xposts and since liars who have heard this new piece of wisdom will make sure *not* to meet your gaze, cops can be assured that the non-eye-lookers are, after all and as originally suspected, the liars. Until the liars catch up to that one - then the paradigm will shift once more.

my response to all of these blogs is basically "valerie solanas OTM"

aha but if you believe these gentleman rules, women are infallible lie detectors and can find anything out, so you should never lie to them. they can smell lies like dogs smell cancer.

"... she'll love it"

This increasingly reminds me of the "I'm one of the few men in the city with nothing wrong with him" answer machine message guy.

aha but if you believe these gentleman rules, women are infallible lie detectors and can find anything out

The overriding theme of most of these little advices is that women are a mysterious "other," instead of just other people.

Not to state too much of the obvious or anything.

About the Author:

http://imgur.com/FWIhv

http://i.imgur.com/FWIhv.png

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm57l1cJV71qjnt7yo1_500.jpg

rules for the manic pixie dream girl

Where does "absolutely intolerable" fit into that scale, I wonder?

see ok the thing here is that i have met and had actual conversations w/women who would say that a lot of this advice is otm (in as much as this is how they think men really ~should~ behave)

The reasoning behind that one, though, I believe. It's because the perceived wisdom is that liars are shifty and never look you in the eye, so people who are actively trying to tell lies will always look you right in the eye, thus overcompensating for what is baloney to begin with.

dude no. "look you in the eye" nonsense is just infantile. you know who else won't look you in the eye? lots of people in whose cultural context holding somebody's gaze codes as aggressive. and people who were raised by people who come from that cultural context. seriously dude. it means nothing whatsoever if somebody isn't looking you in the eye, and if you take somebody meeting your gaze as a sign of anything other than "this person is meeting my gaze," you are being silly.

see ok the thing here is that i have met and had actual conversations w/women who would say that a lot of this advice is otm (in as much as this is how they think men really ~should~ behave)

― cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 5:47 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

really? which ones?

nobody wants to be picked up and twirled, right? i just can't fathom that.

some do!! my friend rusty is lol hueg and would routinely do this (tho tbf in the context of dancing...he was into swing dancing) and some chicks went nuts for it. and i've had several lady friends tell me that they like it when men make them feel small, or whatever. not saying they're right, or that i'd want to date them (too much work), but not all of this is idle male fantasy. there are women that buy into old-fashioned gender roles/codes and shit. i wouldn't think this to be controversial!!

aerosmith, you're making my exact point. It means nothing whatsoever if somebody isn't looking you in the eye. But people who are lying to the police often think that it DOES mean something, because they heard it somewhere.

And criminals are often not up on the latest articles about this kind of thing from the New Yorker.

dude what are you even talking about

okay if any women reading this like to be picked up and twirled/like to swing dance i didn't mean to suggest there's anything wrong with that! i just dgi

I don't understand what people are not understanding about what I am saying.

i'll be honest kenan i'm not really reading it that closely

Cops should pick people up and twirl them and if they don't like it then I think they must surely be criminals.

"Twirl the witch!!!"

can someone redo this with quotes from terminator and blade runner?

fwiw a lot of the women i've met that buy into this stuff were chicks i knew in high school---i mean, my only point is that it codes as "old-fashioned" and there are a lot of old-fashioned ppl still out there!!

"Where are you going?"
"Jim's apartment."

― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP),

Seriously burst out laughing like mad when I read this.