Footballers who really don't need to be on Twitter

he has a new head

http://yfrog.com/gznpmbtj

@Nanas08
Samir Nasri Official

@immildlyracist listen come in front of me tell me what u tweet i will show who is th c***

lol at Twitter handle "immildlyracist"

Find it hard to believe the big girl Sami Nasri could ever beat someone up.

WayneRooney Wayne Rooney
Me and Jay z chilling in Barbados yfrog.com/kjqeouj
16 Jun

http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg739/scaled.php?tn=0&server=739&filename=qeou.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640

WayneRooney Wayne Rooney
Haha it's a lookalike people @jiggawhat
16 Jun

i can see one similarity yes wayne

Ugh, son

If you were going to punt £12k on fake hair would you get a fake receding hairline? For that money I'd want a full head of hair.

not sure i'd go for 2 all over either

http://l.yimg.com/a/p/sp/editorial_image/f5/f5d7e0d3cc20713549dc49944112e62b/this_is_how_a_footballer_introduces_himself_to_twitter.jpg

And then:

https://twitter.com/#!/HayleyGa11agher/status/95611671795609600

Hahaha

LOL

Thanks Paul.

sandroraniere Sandro Raniere
I had my check up today with the doctor, and he said my knee getting better.

What a shit cunt: https://twitter.com/#!/Georgeporter15/status/154992549965213696

The USA international was left stunned as Wigan's then second-string keeper Floyd Croll had Howard scrambling into the back of his net with an incredible Pat Jennings-esque kick at Moss Lane in November 2005.

Croll, now plying his trade lower down the football pyramid with Isthmian League outfit AFC Sudbury, immediately took to Twitter to remind the 32-year-old of his freakish feat.

'I have scored to haven't I Mr Howard #iownyoustill'

https://twitter.com/cesc4official/statuses/156436128906477568

Georgeporter15 George Porter
Pizza express is so underated.
27 Dec

footballers who need to be on ILX

oh Szczesnypaws

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/16498907.stm

jeez louise

It has a different meaning in Poland.

Rapists obviously dress badly in Poland

Not sure a guy in an Arsenal keeper's jersey can call other people out for dressing like a rapist.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-16511735

This joker apparently said he'd have to padlock his arse if he had the bed next to Gareth Thomas in Celeb Big Brother. Stay classy, footballers on Twitter.

if nothing else this is hopefully going to contribute to a widespread understanding that ppl on Twitter who do that 'hashtag followed by several words run together' thing after every single thing they tweet are horrible thickos

twitter hashtags are the most banal thing ever and possibly the most pass/agg thing ever when they consist of #compoundphraseshighlightingenemiesnotionalfaults

― jhøshea nrq (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 5, 2012 2:37 PM (6 days ago)

RT RT RT RT

can't believe footballers aren't experts in diplomatic language

Can't believe clubs let them near public fora uncontrolled

don't they get media coaching these days

yeah

I wonder, were media coaching graded, how many of them would pass it?

if you see what i mean, like

http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/9464684.Lee_Steele_sacked_by_Oxford_City_after_Twitter_remark_about_Gareth_Thomas/?ref=mr

wow. kudos to Oxford tbh

Wish the mighty O's would sack George Porter.

That Lee Steele was the thing I failed to link to just upthread because I am not good with mobile phone cutting and pasting. Some of the reaction to it on the (usually a cut above the rest) football forum I frequent has just added to my general misanthropy.

it's the usual really simple point - if i tweeted that with my name and professional status attached to it i would almost certainly be fired, DUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH

Yeah, I would have thought so too. Though it's giving the "OMG, PC gone mad, are they banning joeks bruv lol" etc etc twunts a nice platform to air their general idiocy.

Talking of idiocy, Jeff Winter is a tool.

If you get rid of the 'who' in the thread title, you have my answer.

Rugby players who really don't need to be on Twitter

Wrong thread!!!!!!

Right thread!!!!!

this thread is going to be useful for me in my new endeavour. going to have a twitter called something like "footballers doing things" dedicated to RTing footballers who are going to nando's or the cinema, etc.

Basically all footballers do is talk about going to Nandos unless they are Joey Barton or Jos Hooiveld or Cillian Sheridan.

Or Dominic Cervi, he goes to Tropeiro instead, and quotes the bible a lot.

i live really near tropeiro and have never been. because i suspect it will be shite. celtic players liking it isn't really swinging me.

but im semi intrigued. i should go just to satisfy my curiosity.

steven caulker @stevencaulker91
it was all a dream i used to watch Swansea City in division 3 now they in the premier league playing top 4 teams

@ftbllrsdoinstff

ok ive started on this. just on a following spree at the moment, then ill let the sweet sweet tweets come to me. yes i understand there is no reason why anyone would want to follow an account that aggregates boring tweets by footballers.

ha, i was gonna direct you towards phil neville

he's going to be mvp i think.

Aww, the chat between Phil and Gary is quite endearing.

I would recommend the entire fucking Brentford squad ("training done...time to hit westfield") and Boro lad @joebennett27 (who has protected his endless Nandos and FIFA updates)