the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

Meantime, io9 has things to say about this TV series story.

Those are Jar Jar Binks lollipops, aka the worst marketing idea ever conceived. It's a plastic Jar Jar head with a CANDY TONGUE.

I am not mad at the person who suggested making a candy that would have kids making out with an alien to eat it; that person is hilarious and deserves a medal. I am mad at the person who greenlighted this as a good licensing idea and even went so far as to get engineers to build an assembly line machine that could create candy Jar Jar tongues.

50 hours mapped out = 4 characters designed, pilot and second episode written in his head, happy ending planned

please do not ever use the phrase "happy ending" in conjunction with George Lucas

for all we know that's jar jars genital genital

jar jars genital genital whut whut

jar jar genital genital whut whut cheese cheese

http://www.filmdailies.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/01/jarhead.jpg

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I wish the part of jar jar had been played by Grover

I can't even imagine

Lucas claimed that while TV budgets are one-tenth of those in cinema, the ability to make a credible TV show at such lower costs does not yet exist.

george lucas knows credibility

as long as youcan make light sabers and blaster blasts, if you can write a good story and dialog, its a go. of course I like the terrible BBC doctor who effects too

if you can write a good story and dialog

ahhhh

there's the rub i guess

the dialog in the second prequel made me want to bash anakin with a jar jar pop

lucas should be tonguing one of those jar jar pops at every press conference and just wipe his hands and face off with hundred dollar bills when he's done

the fact that he doesn't dress like Mr. Monopoly is offensive to me

http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s255/gallery1988sf/Olly/IMG_1338.jpg

my 5 year old was finally exposted to the Phantom Menace this week, he did not appear to enjoy any of it

we started watching attack of the clones and he was grossed out by the kissing. However, I thought it was pretty good, having skipped it in the theaters at the time. The scenes with the clones in little bottles was neat, anyway.

the prequels improve in quality as they go along IMO

"he killed younglings"

Maybe it was due to my radically decreasing enthusiasm as the series went on, but I thought phantom menace was the best (though still terrible). The "action" and "romance" in the other two was terrifyingly inept.

Oh, and Yoda leaping around and kicking ass is 1000000x more of a problem than greedo shooting first.

Yoda leaping around and kicking ass was great in exactly the same way that the dancing zombies in the "Thriller" video were great

Thriller was meant to be funny, Attack of the Clones wasn't

the po-faced seriousness of a Yoda/Dooku lightsaber battle

he looked like a frog on cocaine

the po-faced seriousness of a Yoda/Dooku lightsaber battle

Well, yeah

I mean there's nothing in any of the prequels to suggest Lucas had any sense of humour about what he was doing. I refer you to the Darth Vader "NOOOOOOO" scene in the third film (which is definitely the worst, although it's a fairly pointless distinction when they're all so terrible.)

"DO NOT WANT!!"

"NOOOOO" was one of the best moments in the trilogy. At least it produces a reaction other than boredom (laughter).

"I've become more powerful that any Jedi!"
Yeah sure Dooku, that's why you threw a bunch of shit around and then jumped in a spaceship and RAN AWAY.

I love Phantom Menace, Lucas's cheery ode to Song of the South.

I mean there's nothing in any of the prequels to suggest Lucas had any sense of humour about what he was doing.

You think Yoda hobbling up with a crutch, slowly laying it down, brandishing a lightsaber, and then flipping around all over the place like a pachinko ball during the fight, after which he slowly bent over to retrieve his crutch and hobbled away WASN'T intentional humor????

I can't believe I'm still chuckling at "DO NOT WANT!!" after all these years

or Anakin and Obi-Wan having a mini bitch fit at each other while tied to pillars in the gladiator arena while Padme climbed on top of hers and throttled a monster with her chain was unintentionally funny?

I really don't think you understand George Lucas DJP

I don't think you understand Star Wars movies!

like, all six of them are packed with stuff like this, aside maybe from "Revenge of the Sith"

I don't think I understand CGI

I don't consider the prequels to have anything to do with the original trilogy to be honest. They're entirely different in tone and execution.

execution, yes; tone, not so much

finally watched the yoda fight on youtube (saw I & III but somehow I only caught two minutes at a friends house of a movie named "Attack Of The Clones"). Somehow forgot he'd be an animation now rather than a puppet.

tbh these days I enjoy the Family Guy/Robot Chicken Star Wars parodies way more than I enjoy any of the Star Wars films

The shots of him twirling around mid-air are nice but the dialogue and footage of animated characters grimacing at floating animated objects didn't really do it for me

actually twirling emperor might even be funnier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRd9PGmAQUE

tbh these days I enjoy the Family Guy/Robot Chicken Star Wars parodies way more than I enjoy any of the Star Wars films

This is where i give up

it's just that there is no reason for anyone operating from anything like a position of fairness to give the original trilogy a pass; those movies are very enjoyable, but they are also very, very stupid, in all of the same ways that the prequel trilogy is stupid

i don't think george lucas has been fair to us, why should we be fair to george lucas