Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Like, fine, but your "dietary concerns" don't mean you have to burn it every time.

haha.

charcoal diet?

tell her to eat shit and see if she is a literalist

I'm six weeks into a new job and i haven't anyone to complain about yet. Maybe they're all being polite because i'm new.
One of the partners PA's asked me if i'd like a liquorice allsort, she talks like the Queen, it was bizarre.

That just makes me picture the Queen bowing over you, proferring a bag of sweets and saying "wood yew like an allsort, young man?" and maybe I've had too much coffee because that gives me insane giggles.

As much as I think a "no microwaving popcorn rule" makes terrific sense from a public health standpoint, one place I worked forbade us from eating "ethnic" foods in the office as, it was reasoned, it might put off prospective clients.

OK yeah thats just...

I have never understood people's violent reactions to the smells of foods. How sheltered are some people? "oh that curry SMELLS". Yes. It does. It smells like CURRY you mentalists.

in our office it's the Great Fish Casserole of 2010 that someone brought in for a potluck...it simmered aaaaaallll day in a crockpot (fish chunks, scallops, mussells, the works) and by 3pm the whole floor smelled like a laundrybasket

Though v tasty at first, the smell soon overtook anyone's desire to eat :(

Today my cube neighbor clipped he nails, hacked up a lung all morning, played muzak out of her desktop's speaker and talked to herself for ~20% of the day (which doesn't include the "I'm just talking to myself" response to people in her department).

I talk to myself at work all the time :/

xxxp In my experience curry and garlic are delicious smells when you walk past a restaurant or are eating/cooking your own but a bit tiresome to sit in a cloud of in an unventilated office all afternoon, especially when it is some white guy's reheated ass-smelling jar curry that he eats twice a day every day, and leaves sitting open on the desk for ages while he's not even in the office, and then I guess it is pretty spicy as he sniffs and clears his throat every 10 seconds for an hour afterwards and gaahh I would tear my ears off</rant>

(and we do have a common room here for people to eat in instead of at their desks, btw)

i mainly like food smells in work...mainly. when i was leaving my last job i was at that awkward "just been there long enough" stage where they had to get me a card, and i only knew some people in the office. one guy wrote "best of luck, your lunch always looks extremely good," i was pleased.

That just makes me picture the Queen bowing over you, proferring a bag of sweets and saying "wood yew like an allsort, young man?" and maybe I've had too much coffee because that gives me insane giggles.

― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Wednesday, 25 May 2011 01:22 (8 hours ago) Bookmark

Exactly like that.

I find I'm using my interview/phone voice all day long here, and it's tiring.

sure just complain all day rather than trying to fix problems

i mainly like food smells in work...mainly. when i was leaving my last job i was at that awkward "just been there long enough" stage where they had to get me a card, and i only knew some people in the office. one guy wrote "best of luck, your lunch always looks extremely good," i was pleased.

Wow. That is perfect! On the basis of that sentiment, he sounds like a swell guy.

I don't mind food smells at all. Usually take-out has a stronger smell than microwaved food. But I like to see what take-out is available near my workplace.

I guess food smells are distracting and can make you feel like you are working in a restaurant not an office. Then again, an office memo telling everyone to limit their dining to the cafeteria or kitchen might have a toxic effect.

If it's bothering some people that much, the most diplomatic way of handling it is to cheerily point out at the next office meeting that "someone complained" (client, customer etc.) about food smells.

"can't see lincoln park in concert, Bummin' man." SHUT UP

Actually, 'someone complained' is a pretty wussy way to get out of a conflict, because everyone instinctively knows the someone is not a real person.

^^^

I usually don't have a problem with food smells but, c'mon, burnt popcorn is not a "good" food smell in any way, its foul and lasts forever.

I can't think of any dietary issues that can be resolved on a daily diet of nothing but microwaved popcorn. Women who use our disinclination to challenge a 'sick person' as a shield for their bad manners drive me nuts, too, but if I were truly wanting the problem gone, I'd complain that it was both smelly and unprofessional to be sat there nibbling all day like some orally-fixated simpleton. Besides which, I'm sure the butter juice on that shit is full of carcinogens.

"Besides which, I'm sure the butter juice on that shit is full of carcinogens."
I think you're right - I don't trust it except to lubricate my Navy Ship!

I eat gluten-free but my coworkers are always giving me donuts and things - no one seems to get it

there was a guy on the trading floor a few years back who used to clip his TOENAILS at his desk.

Anyways, there is an idiot here today in shorts and flip flops...hey fuck wad this isn't the beach.

Wow, clipping toenails at work is horrifying. I thought it was bad that my boss at my old job constantly clipped his fingernails during conference calls.

hah - I have seen nurses in flip flops - imagine someone crapping on your naked foot?

yeah he would be like mid-trade and have his fuckin barefoot up on his desk clipping away. he never cleaned it up either. probably rotten toenail pieces in peoples rice crispies and shit. he was also one of the most disgusting members of the animal species i've ever seen, eczema, dandruff, smelled of BO.

OH BOY POPCORN TIME

Clip your toenails into it!

Popcorn doesn't really make you feel full, though. It satisfies the taste buds, not the stomach. It's easy to develop an oral fixation at work, a way for non-smokers to cope with stress.

I like to hit up import candy shops when I get a chance and keep bags of those in my drawer. A trip to the candy store is a must on return from any vacation. I don't think I've put on weight from sucking on flavorful imported candies all day.

we have a "fly situation" at work

there are a few flies in our office

we are having a meeting about the fly situation on friday

it's been the main topic of conversation for about a week now

meanwhile, our cost of living increase, didn't increase and nobody gives a shit about that.

just these damn flies.

Find out popcorn lady's direct line. It is now to the point where random anonymous callers need to intervene by calling and saying 'enough with the popcorn, we can smell you in London.'

Yeah, that might work if we weren't an open office plan and her desk wasn't ~7 feet away from me.

have you considered crop dusting her in retaliation

We will soon be abandoning our dismal and decrepit old office for new office space in a LEED Gold-certified building; beautiful, airy, floor-to ceiling windows all the way around, view for miles. Plentiful covering, both covered and open, public transport accessible, walkable to lunch spots, grocery, etc. The gym and locker rooms are free and fantastic, up there with uber-high end hotel gyms. Towel service, even!

I have a staff person complaining that the new space has too much natural light.

FFS, some people just work at being unhappy with everything.

like dan said, except dont crop dust. When she gets up and leaves the popcorn bag out, go over and fart into it.

seal it.

I have a staff person complaining that the new space has too much natural light.

FFS, some people just work at being unhappy with everything.

Are you in a position to just flat out fire this person? I only half kid.

I can't fire her, but she will not go further up the mgmt ladder on my watch, that's for sure!

I mean, thats like three steps beyond those people that bitch about the selection when reps bring us free lunch.

I bet popcorn girl is one of the bitchers

I'm gonna buy a pair of hideous drug store sunglasses for too much natural light lady and leave them on her desk anonymously.

I bet popcorn girl is one of the bitchers

Haha, no, because she always "opts out" of the fee lunches. Probably because they never bring popcorn.

Does she like it burned? If not, maybe you could gently suggest she shorten the cooking time in the future.

I keep expecting to read a description of me on this thread.

It would be funny if there were two ILXors who worked together and didn't realize they internet-knew each other.

its my worst fear when I read this thread

i can't help it. i just love burnt popcorn!! :(

just heard outside my window "lets get crunk sometime."