Jake Gyllenhaal

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I saw him walking his dog in soho last year. We smiled at him before realizing who he was, just thinking he was some hot guy walking his dog.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link

those calvin klein undies are obviously straining to hold back the untamed 70s style kudzu of Jake's pubic bush.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:45 (eighteen years ago) link

best thread ever.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:46 (eighteen years ago) link

TOO EARLY for getting me this riled up...

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:52 (eighteen years ago) link

haha finally we have achieved parity with the gross perving threads on ile

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link

That last picture was taken....when?

Anthony, you might have to fight me for'em.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Alfred

There are always threesomes, triads, circle jerks, orgies, and any number of other higher mathametics

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link

wait a second, jess, this is really not even close to "parity," you understand.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

I'll beat you all. And then drag Jake by the forelock, caveman style, back to my lakeside cavern for an extended stay.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:03 (eighteen years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

this makes up for all the mimsy indie-boy threads about his sister in the world, ally.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:04 (eighteen years ago) link

you said what you said before anthony said what he said, also anthony would need to start 17 other threads about anonymous kind of ok looking indie stars and say the same thing for parity to truly be achieved. we can do this, and I have no objections to it, but it hasn't been done. YET.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:05 (eighteen years ago) link

fine, the next time someone starts a thread about star jones, i'll be sure to talk about the soft, billowy folds of my ass.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link

listen, I'm not defending that post. I mean it's a little TMI for my tastes. Also, Star Jones?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:07 (eighteen years ago) link

i like a woman who takes charge.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:08 (eighteen years ago) link

intriguing.
http://www.jakegyllenhaal.com/images/JakeGyllenhaal_speech.jpg

xpost ...

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:09 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/star-jones-beach.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Only 17?

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I think I should start working on this parity goal!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago) link

But where to start? And where are the female equivalents of oops and kingfish?

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:14 (eighteen years ago) link

We're almost there.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link

"Gun's going OFF!"

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link

He looks like Stallone or Travolta in that shirtless photo.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:18 (eighteen years ago) link

I bet he has a hairy asscrack.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Did anyone see him on Conan recently, talking about his lifeguard duty where he pissed on a jellyfish-bite victim's leg as therapy? He mimed it, firehose-style, and O'Brien nearly flew out of his chair. "There are old people watching!"

He'd still have to explain the "These characters are not, like, gay" interview, and I might hafta slap him. Repeatedly.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

hahahahahahahahahahahaha Nicole.

where to start...we've already got this thread, and Heath Ledger (yuck btw...just...yuck), and I guess my Jimmy Fallon thread should count too. Maybe Adrian Brody?? James Spader?

xpost he pissed on someone's leg? What is that supposed to do?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:24 (eighteen years ago) link

AND HE MIGHT LIKE IT.

(xpost)

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:24 (eighteen years ago) link

I think it's the pH of the pee that counteracts the jelly's poison.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Pee supposedly takes the sting out of a jellyfish sting. I don't have first-hand experience of this. I bet you're just so stunned that someone is heroically peeing on you, you forget that you got stung.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

That's just...freaky. I don't know how I'd react to being rescued from jellyfish attack only to be pissed on by Jake Gyllenhaal. I think I'd probably want an adult beverage, and I'd be highly confused.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

it might make me into watersports.
i bet his pee tastes like candy

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:36 (eighteen years ago) link

lik'em aid

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:37 (eighteen years ago) link

ok now you won, jess.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:37 (eighteen years ago) link

that shirtless pic is actually from about 3 years ago.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

You lie.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:37 (eighteen years ago) link

ally quit reviving this thread.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:39 (eighteen years ago) link

why don't you go post on a Mandy Moore thread.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:42 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread needs more gyllenhaal beefcake, but I cannot search for it while at work. :(

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:44 (eighteen years ago) link

it's probably wrong i want to see american dreamz, isn't it?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:46 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.artistsnetwork.org/artists/maggiegyllenhaal/maggie.jpg http://www.schoolhousecenter.com/images/ware.gif

― Dan (You're Welcome) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:47 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.stars2go.com/g/jake-gyllenhaal/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no idea who this "Val" is

http://www.lipglaws.com/jakeG.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:49 (eighteen years ago) link

http://film.widarsson.se/images/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no idea who this "Val" is

http://www.planetkilmer.com/pk_home_val.jpg

― Dan (Mystery Solved) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan, dude, that was totally uncalled for.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.npr.org/programs/fa/features/2005/11/jar_200.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:04 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.togawp.com/main/images/jake-gyllenhaal4.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I think I found the winner. NSFW & No fainting please.

http://socialitelife.com/images/santa.gif

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:16 (eighteen years ago) link

mpeg clip here:

http://www.socialitelife.com/video/Jarhead.mpg

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Girl, I posted that Jarhead pic weeks ago! (along with a clip of the Santa dance)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 808 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Having trouble getting my head around the fact Morbs both saw and enjoyed Bubble Boy.

― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 26 September 2021 21:29 (two years ago) link

I liked the Danish Guilty but the concept definitely wears thin by the end. And the remake is 5 minutes longer, apparently

― Vinnie, Monday, 27 September 2021 02:27 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

I can't

https://i.imgur.com/c5SY51q.jpg

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 January 2023 17:52 (one year ago) link

seven months pass...

https://i.imgur.com/hlMQbZt.jpg

― the dreaded dependent claus (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 28 August 2023 23:51 (seven months ago) link

Agreed

― H.P, Tuesday, 29 August 2023 10:50 (seven months ago) link

two months pass...

I can't

https://i.imgur.com/5mRz3jQ.png

― stuffing your suit pockets with cold, stale chicken tende (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:14 (four months ago) link

Nice mug

― omar little, Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:43 (four months ago) link

when will he give us a live action guy smiley

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 01:02 (four months ago) link

Jake, I can take or leave.

Maggie, on the other hand . . . I can't.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:10 (four months ago) link

I remembered Jakey is younger than me, but I didn't remember it's only by a year and a half. Life is not fair

― active spectator of ecocide and dispossession (Eric H.), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:32 (four months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Happy birthday!

https://www.instagram.com/p/C1FmKfTOvwI/

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 December 2023 22:03 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

https://i.ibb.co/S3mthSy/IMG-2540.jpg

― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:26 (three months ago) link

Papi.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:35 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

So.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:01 (one month ago) link

Watched Road House last night. JG is very good in it, but calling the movie tonally inconsistent would be very generous. And Conor McGregor looks like a CGI/motion capture gimmick.

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:39 (one month ago) link

how does it compare to the original?

― the absence of bikes (f. hazel), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:47 (one month ago) link

you could never replicate the brilliance of that part were Dalton jumps over the front porch of his house with that amazing ballet move. that whole original movie is just gold every minute until the credits roll.

― scott seward, Friday, 22 March 2024 14:53 (one month ago) link

how does it compare to the original?

I have a lot of thoughts, but basically this is an attempt to make a PG-13 Road House that the whole family can enjoy. The first one was about people who liked fucking, and punching each other. This one is about people who have never fucked, and only punch each other because they're forced into it. But hey, there's a precocious teen girl who says vaguely joke-like things to the protagonist.

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:56 (one month ago) link

That sounds absolutely fucking awful

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:08 (one month ago) link

The trouble is, there's already a good variant on Roadhouse in theaters called Love Lies Bleeding.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 15:12 (one month ago) link

Rather!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:13 (one month ago) link

i think one key problem i have w/the idea of this film is Patrick Swayze was such an absolutely likable screen presence and JG is increasingly less so, and i feel like Roadhouse requires some kind of likable toughness, a kind of noble tough humility that PS was so good at.

― omar little, Friday, 22 March 2024 16:20 (one month ago) link

speak for yourself!

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:24 (one month ago) link

Yeah, Swayze was likable; Gyllenhaal is amiable. Two very different things.

Here's the difference between the two movies in a nutshell: in the original, Swayze wakes up and is doing naked tai chi and the female bartender from the roadhouse brings him breakfast and we see her blatantly ogling his naked ass. In this version, Gyllenhaal is awakened on the boat where he's living by the female bartender from the roadhouse; he's wearing boxer briefs and says, embarrassed, that he'll get dressed; she says, "Don't worry; I have brothers."

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:27 (one month ago) link

I envy those boxer briefs.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:37 (one month ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?