Kids say the darndest things

"what's happening, Pancho Villa?"

tbf I WAS wearing an oversized novelty sombrero

LOL

Ben just said to Owen "I'm not mean, I'm just naughty."

honestly I think kids saying funny stuff is like the number three reason I would like to have kids

Lulu is wearing her Powerpuff Girls T-shirt to bed.
L: I am the one with blonde hair, Ava is the one with a red bow, Mummy is the one with black hair.
Me: Who am I?
A: Maybe you're the writing underneath.
L: NO, NO, Daddy's the stars on my knickers!

HAHAHAHAAHA

IRL LOL.

mike = professor utonium, obviously

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2b/Professor_Utonium_PPG.jpg/160px-Professor_Utonium_PPG.jpg

A & L playing with Lego and figures on the landing upstairs...

L: "Who are they? Are they OK?"
A: "That's Ramshacklee, Ramshackala and Ramshackle. But their names don't matter - they've fallen off a 100-foot cliff."
L: "Are you going to bury them?"
A: "No, I'll wait for them to come alive again."
L: "Ok. I'm going SWIMMING! To feed the sharks with LOVELY GRASS!"

And so on. FOR HOURS.

http://www.cocaineblunts.com/blunts/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rammellzee.jpg

That's exactly who I thought of.

Ramshacklee, Ramshackala and Ramshackle. But their names don't matter - they've fallen off a 100-foot cliff.

Sounds like the premise for an awesome television serial.

Exchange between my friend and his daughter:

Him: "I may never understand your need to make everything more difficult for everyone."
Her: "Everyone has needs, Dad."

Sunny trying to coax some problem-solving…

MOM: Well, Beeps, ask yourself where you last saw him.
BEEPS: BUT, I can't ask myself a question!

Us taking off on a flight to Missouri last week:

Me: Sweetie, take your pacifier. It will help your ears.
Chloe: *sticks pacifier in ear*

screaming at the top of his lungs last night while my wife was at paul simon..."I WANT YODA, I WANT SAUSAGES". Daddy wants a vacation.

"I WANT YODA, I WANT SAUSAGES" - new board description plz

Exchange between my friend and his daughter:

Him: "I may never understand your need to make everything more difficult for everyone."
Her: "Everyone has needs, Dad."
--Darin

Lol. This sounds like Kirby and his daughter, Darin.

You are correct, sir!

Ben, the other day to my stepmom:

"When you're mean to your friends, that's when you know you're alive."

Uh oh.

lol, that is disgraceful.

oh my god. something tells me ben is going to excel in high school.

If only he was a girl...

My daughter has very clearly been enunciating "daddy" all week and I've been stoked because she's sorta been doing mama and dada and baba (for bottle), but it hasn't been very distinct. I felt very proud for a couple of days until, after careful observation, I realized that she thinks "daddy" means "cat".

ahahahaha

awww :D

There was some story on ILX a long time ago about someone's kid thinking toast meant frog and I wish I could remember the deetz because it was pretty funny iirc.

Stories from the past:

In Supermarket, Alice aged 2.

Alice: "MARK!!!"
Me: "Alice, I'm your dad! I'm not your mother's boyfriend!"
Alice: "a Ha hahaha ha!"

toast:
Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

:)

TOAST!

baby has learned to "meow" (more like a high-pitched howl) when she sees our cats or pictures of cats.
the other day we were at the pool, and there were a bunch of kids from the boys & girls club swimming around. i said "hey look at all the kiddies!" she started meowing. she thought i said kitties.

that's so cute

"daddy?"

"yes?"

"i don't like your shirt"

lol

We were all playing with their nanny Allison the other day.

Ben: "I love you, Allison."

Allison: "Awwww. Thanks Ben!"

Ben: "If you leave, I make you die."

Walking past a schoolyard being mowed by a big green tractor.
"I love tractors! Tractors are my favourite colour!"
"Really? Your favourite colour is green?"
"No, my favourite colour is tractors!"

E (4 year old boy) runs into the room...

-- "Papa, it was gone and now it's back!"
-- "Mm. What was?"
-- "The moon. Yes!! [pumps fist] The moon likes me!"

This after the moon "followed" him on the drive home from the peace festival.

:D what a bunch of darlings.

Earlier this summer:

--"Papa, I found a dead ladybug. It was outside on the ground."
--"Oh, that's too bad..."
--"I put him in this [hollow plastic] egg."
--"What for?"
--"He's gonna stay there for a lo-o-o-o-ong time".

Riding home from daycare, staying in the flow of traffic, etc.

BEEPS: You know, none of us are talking to each other right now. It's been very quiet.
ME: … …. … Well. Yeah. How about you tell me about something you learned today during –
BEEPS: SSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!

last weekend

two year old nephew: tio, here, come here.
me (crossing room): okay, what is it?
two year old nephew: this is my butt

* moons me *

me: uhh ...

new year old nephew: (running out of the room to my sister) hahaha i show tio my butt!

LOL

Nephew is awesome.

lol @ beeps too

My neph: Auntie Lolo, pull me (across the pool) to the ladder!
Halfway there: I'm being a TRAILER!

---

5 mins later:

Neph: Now make me go like a boat!
Me: How do boats go??
Neph: FORWARD. (Duh.)

Two-and-a-half y.o. daughter at a controlled crosswalk: Now it says "WALK!" Now it says "HIGH FIVE!"

Ava is making a post-bedtime habit recently of calling down to me because she's "scared". Sometimes it's ghosts, sometimes it's faces she can see in the cardboard castle at the end of her bed...the other night it was because she was worrying about "pneumonia" and "Venus fly-traps"...

Then she had a rant the other day about needles (it must be three years since she had a jab)... "I HATE needles and I think all dentists should be DRAGGED OFF TO JAIL and all hospitals BURNED TO THE GROUND." "What about all the sick people, Ava?" "Well, I would make myself the health inspector and... (thinks) Oh no, that's hygiene in cafes..."

Showed the girls Star Wars for the first time yesterday.

Ava, sometime later: "I don't think Obi-Wan sacrificed himself, Daddy. I think he just wasn't paying attention."

Later, waiting for a bus:
"Maybe all the buses have been disqualified from running, like Bolt."
That's practically Radio 4 material!

ahahaha

Older daughter in the middle of the night when my wife was out of town: "Daddy, I can't sleep and I ... WHO IS THAT BEHIND YOU!!!"

Jesus. What was the darnedest thing that your wife said in response?

She was ... out of town. My daughter pulled that one on me! It was the middle of the night, though, so I just said "no one's there, go back to sleep."

And then I looked behind me.