Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

Also home to Gu, Pieminister (or it will be shortly) and the Royal Mint - the place is a fucking goldmine.

― Ned Trifle (Notinmyname), Wednesday, 11 May 2011 08:19 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thinking about if the aesthetic of those other thrre starts to rub off on the Royal Mint

50p coins with the queen's picture replced by an owl drawn in MS Paint

something Jonty's mate said at Bestival translated into Latin and inscribed round the edge of a quid

"CARUS FRUCTUS ET AQUA"

http://www.innocentdrinks.co.uk/AGM/qa-2010/transcripts/

I don’t know if you guys have seen sometimes but not always we put jokes actually in the ingredients panel, which is really a bit naughty. You’re not supposed to do that, but we thought it was quite funny. And we once wrote a strawberry and banana smoothie label that said on the ingredients panel “Six strawberries, two bananas, half an orange and two plump nuns.”

Quite funny.

What were you guys doing before you started the business? What did you resign from?
I used to work in an advertising agency.
I used to work for a management consultancy.
I was at Virgin, a Virgin company.

"I was a railway man, betweeen thuhuh warrrz"

"i was a violent drug abuser, one morning after killing a man i thought his blood ressembled a thickened strawberry mush and knew i had to start innocent smoothies"

When will you pay me? Say the bells of Old Bailey.

The Guardian article at http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/may/26/innocent-smoothies-charity-cash stated that the Charity passed charitable funds into the bank accounts of the Company and that the Trustees of the Charity are also the Directors of the Company. This is no different from the kind of "money laundering" that Robert Maxwell did and even he didn't use charities.

I can't believe that your response made no mention of this extremely serious governance failure and possible breach of charity financial regulations.

The money was just resting in my account!
was what was running my head reading that article

Sounds like all the Jemimas and Conrads in London's trendy west London are getting less wuicy juicy for their penny whennies:

Thanks for your comments guys.

We’re always trying to work out the best carton size for our drinkers, and over the years we’ve had quite a few requests to make smaller or larger cartons.

In terms of pricing for our new cartons, we want to be absolutely transparent.

Ultimately, it’s up to individual stores what they choose to charge for our drinks, but the RRP* for our new 750ml carton is £2.79, and for our 1.25L carton it is £3.69. This means our 750ml cartons are cheaper per pack, but cost a bit more per ml than our old 1L cartons. Our 1.25L cartons are a higher price per pack, but are the same price per ml as our 1L cartons.

Since we launched our 1L carton in 2004 we have not increased our prices. In that time lots of things have happened** which mean it now costs more to make our drinks than it used to (namely, fruit prices have gone up, and we use quite a bit of fruit).

We know that some people will be disappointed by this change, but we felt that introducing two new carton sizes at two different prices was the best way to react to the fact that, put simply, fruit is more expensive these days.

* recommended retail price
** some of us have grown a beard

http://www.sabotagetimes.com/life/f-you-talking-smoothies/

Glacéau vitaminwater is also announcing that British pop sensation and style icon Jessie J, has been brought onboard as a brand ambassador. Glacéau vitaminwater will be inviting and inspiring people to get involved in a series of exciting projects and events, in which Jessie J will be bringing to life the colour, personality and fun of Glacéau vitaminwater.

The first of these projects will be Flavour Creator, an exciting and inspiring competiton that will be inviting the public to co-create, with Glacéau vitaminwater, the flavour of the Olympic Games. Jessie J will be encouraging Britain to co-create this new limited edition flavour of the Olympic Games via a unique Facebook application [SNIP]

saw a new Innocent advert on TV the other day, could be wrong but i thought i detected a slight move away from twee-ism towards a more Graunianista wholefood seriousness in the language. maybe they've been reading their critics.

still horrible, obv.

Manchester council's 'corporate voice guide' uses innocent as a positive case study. Obv all v reassuring when they're writing to evict ppl, etc.

jesus

The more campaigns they punt, the bigger they're cunts

"too hungry to tweet"

wish this had comments so i could say i was living in darfur.

bu-bu-but where would you plug your computer in?

really dont get the fascination with this nonsense

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15014748

don't ask me, had a big fight with somebody v. close to me when i gently pointed out to them that the BNP were rocking that shit

i just ate one of those veg pots. it wasn't very nice.

on the other hand, the prospect of a possible four free lunches is appealing

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hm.

history mayne's in on this? shit, it goes all the way up to the top

i just ate one of those veg pots. it wasn't very nice.

― thomp, Thursday, 22 September 2011 14:20 (29 minutes ago) Bookmark

Me too. They're half price in Tesco and still waaaay over priced for what is essentially a couple of vegetables in curry sauce and a handful of rice.

but they're in a big heavy disposable plastic container

big fat bollocks more like.

The single-issue Tumblr we've all been waiting for

http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/10724607622/1/tumblr_ls6jcnawrm1qfbr3h

OMG @ this one.

Excellent.

is that a joke/parody or what the actual fuck?

$10 says that's a kombucha bottle

it's shampoo.

i've got a contribution for that site. i'll keep you updated whether it gets posted up or not as i know you'll all be waiting with baited breath for the big reveal.

i bought some sausage and bean pasties from the Coop on saturday. not very glam or young and funky you'd think, but the packaging was still covered with shite like "savoury deliciousness" and god knows what else.

unless we take steps to deal with these people now, it's only a question of time before the BBC starts to read the news like this. apart from on BBC3 i mean.

Kinda disturbed at the use of 'ickle wickle' in the Mirror's 3am column.

I think I blame Russell Brand for that.

thank god for lidls and builders merchants so ppl can live on a nutritious tweefree diet of german biscuits and sand

http://tweetandeat.innocentdrinks.co.uk/

destroy

http://www.abccopywriting.com/blog/2011/10/10/wackywriting-cult-of-innocent/

I detect the unmistakable whiff of the advertising professional. "As a middle-aged straight guy buying specialist kit, I want to feel that my chosen product is technically robust, professionally made and packed with practical features." I mean, who says this? Also, tl;dr

Some good links, though

If you want a vision of the future, imagine our silly old wellies squishing and squashing the face of a tiny lickle baby for quite a long time. Yummy!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yeah that chimes w/this, which is OTM:

I guess we all have days when we’d like to return to our childhoods, which accounts for the disarming appeal of wackywriting. But growing up isn’t all sunnyshine and wowwipops. It’s also a time of total dependence, fear and confusion – and, overridingly, a time of being told what to do. One way or another, a child spends most of their time being controlled.

As Nick points out, copywriting is not a one-on-one conversation between equals. A brand – a business – is ‘speaking’ to a mass audience of actual and potential customers. Rather than a conversation, copywriting is more like ‘a monologue conducted above a million solitudes’, as Albert Camus defined dictatorship. That’s why we can’t really ‘talk’ to a brand, any more than we can talk to a film or a book.

A brand speaks unilaterally, and it does so to achieve a clearly defined outcome. The tone of voice or the visual style may do a very good job of obscuring it, but that’s the underlying mechanic. Like the parent, the brand speaks in order to control.

...

Wackywriting embodies the dilemma of the liberal middle classes: material privilege, and unease over that privilege, glossed over with affected bohemianism and faux-naïveté. Hopelessly compromised by power and possessions, we long to return to the garden, but can’t pass through the eye of the needle. We’re guilty, but we wish we were, yes, innocent.

Remember Smartfood? I loved that shit but I think they have a lot to answer for.

innocentdrinks

Whether you believe in Blue Monday or not, here's a raccoon holding a kitten to start your week on a positive pic.twitter.com/Fn0KKOff

Fn0KKOff

it's like the url shortener was deeply fucking irritated

http://innocentdrinks.typepad.com/innocent_drinks/2012/01/your-words-on-our-bottoms.html#comments

posted

How does it feel / to tweet me like you do?