Poll: what's the worst part of getting old?

The real worst part of getting old: Getting old alone.

― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), dinsdag 10 mei 2011 17:44 (56 seconds ago) Bookmark

;_;

I know it shouldn't be. But the prospect frankly scares the shit out of me.

Damn, I meant to include an "Other (please explain)" option.

waking up at night to pee

That's a good one. I knew I would forget a bunch of these. Guess I should vote for loss of memory.

Is that a getting old thing? I started doing this in only the last year but I didn't realize that's why. Damn.

Hangovers.

Reduced libido is actually kind of a relief.

I just thought I was drinking to much diet coke in the evenings. :(

i have five of the things on this list and i'm 26!

old

Growing hair where you don't want to grow it

I wonder about this one a lot. Like, why do old men grow hair in their ears? Is there some sort of reason for this? It's kind of baffling. Also, gross.

none of the above

"not reduced libido" wd be the answer

I tried to do a handstand for Beeps the other night and nearly broke my neck. Who knew your body could forget how to do handstands?? I need yoga classes.

Most depressing thread ever.

I'll let you know when I really am old.

Never been able to do handstands.

other, death

Increased tolerance for aging, balding male singer-songwriters.

― ginny thomas and tonic (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, May 10, 2011 11:44 AM (9 minutes ago)

oh FUCk, I have this symptom and I am 23. life is too short :-S

xp

yeah "steady approach of death" was maybe my number 2

"Other (please explain)" option: I'm getting old without anyone else who can remember my body/self when I was young. There's no one to be the keeper of sweet memories of/for me; once my younger self is gone, she may as well never have existed. Shared with no one = wasted? Feels like it.

Somehow the fact that *I was there for those years doesn't matter? I don't know why I don't matter.

Well damn. Annoying, uncomfortable and embarrassing things which are going to keep getting worse for the rest of your life: the poll.

Ho hum.

lol

i'm actually sort of looking forward to losing libido.

stfu

tolerance for aging balding singy-songwriters is kind of one of the better things about getting old, or at least not giving a shit about bollocks youth cult punk values and what musicians look like and other misguided young people stuff

only if the aging baldy singer-songwriters aren't boring.

cancer, arthritis, risk of addiction to prescription pain meds, dementia, death

I'm 36 and voting DENTAL. I started flossing regularly at about 30 but it was too late. Things have been going all to shit the past 3 years.

Oh my teeth started going around age 20. Forget that.

yeah Alfred otm but the singer-songwriter slide into schmaltz is part of a more general thing:

if you don't watch out as you get older you become prone to this particularly intoxicating state of wistful, sentimental, nostalgic melancholy which is *about* the extent of the pastness of your own past, its irretrievability, your mortality, friends who are dead, love affairs that are long gone etc.

it can be a beautiful feeling to just embrace and let it happen, but it can also turn you into a sap and a bore if you aren't careful, because it rests upon a loss of curiosity and interest in what is happening now and what is to come in favor of what already was

only if the aging baldy singer-songwriters aren't boring

well yeah but name me a genre that doesn't apply to. i reckon most people who consciously drift into "old people music" probably liked some awful guff when they were younger too

worst part of aging is regretting thigns you haven't done imo.

Losing libido or otherwise is all very well if you lose it at exactly the same rate as whoever you might be sharing it with.

I started flossing regularly at about 30 but it was too late.

Oh no... (31, hate flossing.)

other, death

― thomp, Tuesday, May 10, 2011 11:55 AM

The ones that have started to show themselves to me:

Losing hair where you don't want to lose it
Growing hair where you don't want to grow it
Graying hair
Eating/Digestion problems
Memory problems

The first two in tandem are, at this point, an unbeatable combo.

(Graying hair is pretty awesome, tho.)

They're not the worst part of aging, but all these new* moles on my face are really pissing me off.

* arrived in the last five years or so

Going with hearing here, which didn't hit me until last year. Specifically it was a Mastodon show, but I'm guessing it was straw-camel's back thing. Already noticing myself asking people to repeat things more often. Oh well. Overall I feel good physically, so so far I'm not complaining. Definitely losing hair on top, but that doesn't bother me.

the best thing about getting old is that you can enjoy being uncool

Went to bar full of hipsters last night, looked around at busy groups of cool kids, sat alone, read book, felt not a single twinge of discomfort. Thought: WHY DID THIS TAKE ME SO LONG, THIS IS AWESOME.

haha exactly!

Last two posts totally otm.

Hi, old person here (50).

Hasn't happened at all:
Losing hair where you don't want to lose it
Deteriorating hearing
Deteriorating vision
Graying hair
Papery skin/loss of elasticity in skin/wrinkles
Slower reflexes

Right, I was going to categorise the list but it seems they are mostly not happening as yet.

So, yay me, I guess.

What's not on the list:

The idea that 100 years ago is something that actually exists on film. and that you can see things from 50 years ago that look like they were filmed yesterday.

Some other stuff that might depress you (i.e. people not around anymore, let's put it that way)

Then again, it's sunny, there are people around that you can have a laff with, also that the idea of being old is not something you have to subscribe to nowadays. Back when I was a kid, people of 20-30 would dress like they were 50-60. Nowadays, it's the other way around.

ya but you were secretly cooler than them in that scenario so it doesn't count xp

Additions?

Increased tolerance for aging, balding male singer-songwriters.
Nope.

The real worst part of getting old: Getting old alone.
Less alone now than I've ever been.

OK, when you say old, where is the dotted line?

x-posts It's totally liberating and awesome and I think it happens, in part, because you realize that so much that you maybe once considered cool is just dumb bs.

unless you were reading 'the girl with the dragon tattoo' or 'twilight' xp

looooooooool

Went to bar full of hipsters last night, looked around at busy groups of cool kids, sat alone, read book, felt not a single twinge of discomfort. Thought: WHY DID THIS TAKE ME SO LONG, THIS IS AWESOME.

― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Tuesday, 10 May 2011 16:17 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

Were you at Harefield Rd? I think I saw you.

Voting for Moles and other lawn care issues

lol no. Un P.

Another bad thing: Walking around with a picture of yourself at 25 in your mind, then passing a mirror and facing reality.

The young people don't ask you for after work drinks anymore.

Binge drinking over 40 doesn't look the same as binge drinking at 23.

Having to listen to 25 year olds say "I can't believe how old I am!"

Listening to 23 year olds talk about high school and their parents.

Right then, as a 61 year old smoker and drinker who regularly gets mistaken for being in his forties, I think it’s time I shared my Beauty Secrets! I wash my face every morning and evening with Kiehls Facial Fuel face wash, and I moisturise every morning with Kiehls Facial Fuel moisturiser (important: NOT the version with SPF protection, as that does feel like goop). They are both excellent products that don’t feel gross to use (ugh, Nivea, vile stuff), and I’ve been using them for years. Not the cheapest, but even when money has been tight, I’ve stuck with them (sometimes as birthday/Xmas presents from relatives, as they are perfect for putting on wish lists).

kiehls is good shit. i forgot i had this burt's bees sensitive skin body lotion. i done been puttin it on ma face. feels good!

nivea is super gross. it's what my mom always used. i like jojoba / argan for my beard. some kind of coconut / shea thing is probably good for me as a moisturizer. looking at the ingredients on the burt's bees - seems like a lot of weird stuff in there? though it does feel good. i might have to do some "research" lol.

My partner uses Argan oil on his face, and is almost evangelical about it. Still sticking with my Kiehls though!

I used to melt together shea butter, coconut oil, and a little jojoba (and let it set) for a homemade moisturizer although it can be a little greasy. You can also buy shea butter on its own and use that. There are a lot of natural options.

I'm bald and my beard is more salt than pepper. No amount of Kiehls miracle elixir is going to work. Plus, 40 notes for 125ml!

I was gonna say, Kiehl's is nice stuff (still have a couple of sachets from a gift pack years ago) but it's around 7-8x more expensive than supermarket brands like Nivea.
Captain Save-a-Nivea here.

haha. yeah i'm not gonna shell out for kiehls tbh. argan is probably my favorite of these 'skin stuff' oils tbh - i think i'll try it.

If you have a Nordstrom near you, the July yearly sale has Kiehl’s at a 30% discount. The 33.8 oz size Facial Fuel, usually $64, was $40ish. Needing a dime size or less, that’ll last a year for me.

Sunny out today. Should have worn my hat like Elvis Telecom.

Each unshaded section of sidewalk is like The Devil’s Anvil.

my skin looks shockingly good for someone my age who used to smoke.

i'd like to know your routine. my skincare routine = wearing sunblock when i go to the beach and applying it improperly :(

one product i will stan for is Laneige lip mask, i've suffered from severely cracked and chapped lips my whole life until i started using this stuff 2x a day. i was a really bad case, it was painful and bloody, could never find anything that helped but this completely solved the problem. it's like $28 for a little jar which seems very expensive but it's lasted me almost a year.

today i would like to honor the birth anniversary of Dick Trickle, the patron saint of all of us with benign prostatic hyperplasia. shout outs to the cis men who have to sit down to pee.

Realizing none of this shit matters and you entire life was a pointless waste.

^ best part of getting old IMO

(So much less pressure)

I'm quite at peace with not amounting to anything and leaving a less than minimal trace when I die, that's what I call sweet obscurity to nick a quote from Georges Rouault (who wasn't really that obscure and probably meant in a different context but never mind!)

xxxp I kind of disagree with that, but more from the angle of realising that none of the shit your teachers/parents/elders said was important actually matters. Living your life is what matters, and if you do that then you haven't wasted your life, regardless of what other people say.

I have an intrusive thought sometimes of going up to a random grandpa saddened by his friends all dying around him by reminding him he's also outlived his enemies, and in my fantasy it plays out exactly like in this C&H strip:
https://mickaboo.org/sites/default/files/images/Calvin%20and%20Hobbes%202-19-88.gif

none of the shit your teachers/parents/elders said was important actually matters. Living your life is what matters

While I was 17 and a high school student I took the NMSQT. Some months later I got a letter in the mail telling me that I had qualified as a National Merit Scholarship Finalist (nb: oddly, this honor did not qualify me for any kind of scholarship whatsoever, but it sounded very impressive).

The letter also informed me that because I had such an elite intellect it was my destiny to become one of the leaders of my nation in some capacity. I read that and irately thought "who the fuck are these people to tell me what to do with my life? they don't know me and I don't know them." Then I tossed the letter in the wastebasket.

Realizing none of this shit matters and you entire life was a pointless waste.

Realizing none of this shit matters and you entire life was a pointless waste.

Does anyone ever really reach that realisation as a permanent state? I’m in the last year of my 50s and still wound up by life constantly: from the trivialities of IT outages at work through to the “how did I end up in this position?” self-reflections.

If none of it matters then there's nothing wasted, isn't it, eh?

I believe that nothing matters but I desire to make my journey to the end point suck as little as possible.

I’m slightly worried about these “philosophies”/outlooks. Not so much in terms of their validity - but how they inspire of justify how people act.

One variant I heard a lot about few years ago from fellow 50 somethings, including family members, was: “I’m just making the most of the time I’ve got left”. It’s a short step from that to “and that’s why I should put myself first and not help with aging parents/help with probate /selling of family house etc” No offence intended to any ilx posters - but family members have driven me slightly crazy with this.

That's definitely not a direction I would take these feelings.

Yesterday I saw an elderly woman in a wheelchair being pushed down the street. On her face was an expression of sheer terror.

My grandmother, who died at 103, told me not long before she died, "I feel like I've done everything in life I wanted to do." It has stayed with me as the place I would like to be at the end.

"shout outs to the cis men who have to sit down to pee"

i don't have to but i do! i have a very erratic stream. kinda like my brain. and its just me who is going to have to clean it up. plus, its peaceful sitting down. i watched a male comedian who says he likes it because now he's really into micro-deucing.

that comedian was funny. he said: "Remember, 100% of failure comes from trying."

my least fave thing about aging is the whole: "Where is the...the...tooth thing...the for the...*makes sawing motion*...for the teeth...you know...???" Maria: "Uh, dental floss...??" WORST charades partner ever.

Sometimes I think television can be profound (or at least make you think).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSxnBYPM72I

I’m in the last year of my 50s and still wound up by life constantly

62, still waiting for serenity now. I don't think it ever comes, or at least won't for me.

Realizing none of this shit matters and you entire life was a pointless waste.

― brotherlovesdub

brotherlovesdub, speaking as someone who is a well of infinite sadness with a lonely soul, do you think that you might possibly be suffering from depression?

that comedian was funny. he said: "Remember, 100% of failure comes from trying."

― scott seward

my ex used to say that. "well, you tried. and you know what the lesson of that is? Never Try."

your ex was Homer Simpson?(!)

While I was 17 and a high school student I took the NMSQT. Some months later I got a letter in the mail telling me that I had qualified as a National Merit Scholarship Finalist (nb: oddly, this honor did not qualify me for any kind of scholarship whatsoever, but it sounded very impressive).

The letter also informed me that because I had such an elite intellect it was my destiny to become one of the leaders of my nation in some capacity. I read that and irately thought "who the fuck are these people to tell me what to do with my life? they don't know me and I don't know them." Then I tossed the letter in the wastebasket.

― more difficult than I look (Aimless)

oh yeah that's a whole big thing. when i took my PSAT i got the same letter and where i grew up it was a Very Big Deal and it was impressed upon me that it was something to be taken Very Seriously. i actually got a semi-finalist letter... they only made you a finalist when they'd done a background check to make sure you weren't a communist or something. people in my school spent a lot of time trying to be national merit scholars.

so i did too. i had to live up to my reputation as a Clever Boy. see, you could become a national merit finalist by (a) not being a communist and (b) getting a good grade on the PSAT or NMSQT or whatever the equivalent in your region was, but to be a national merit _scholar_ you had to impress the people deciding it with your _character_. so i joined a high school club that did performative charity. after i sliced the palm of my hand open trying to do some meaningless bit of performative charity, i concluded that being a successful person wasn't particularly worth it.

but because i had a strong work ethic, i worked very, very hard at being a failure. i was very successful at it, by which i mean i failed completely at it and turned out to be a successful, accomplished person anyway. i accomplished this by dressing as a girl, which surprised me because i had been taught that this was the _single worst thing i could possibly do_ and would ruin my life forever.

the worst part of getting old is realizing that you failed puberty and you're going to have to re-take it. also the best part of growing old, though, so it evens out.

your ex was Homer Simpson?(!)

― Philip Nunez

no, homer simpson is a notorious joke thief and stole all of my ex's best material

One of my college-age kids got an invitation to some pay-for-play "national scholar" organization. They tried very hard to make it look like he was being offered some kind of prestigious honor. That kind of shit irritates me to no end.

My grandmother, who died at 103, told me not long before she died, "I feel like I've done everything in life I wanted to do." It has stayed with me as the place I would like to be at the end.

#winning

Best way to accomplish yr goals in life is to never have any.

Once in a while I can recognize a shadow of what life was like 20 years ago and that’s a good feeling

The increasing impossibility of getting through a single post on here longer than five words without a typo, dropped word, etc. (which I can't blame on a cell phone). I'm not sure how much of that is attributable to age, and how much is being too lazy to read over what I've typed. Or if there's any difference.

Still voting for friends/loved ones dying but the physical aches and pains have crept up this year

100 pct of my typos and post errors are due to the dumbass phone

(xpost) Needless to say, those two--and a thousand other things--are worse. But I find the typos exasperating and dispiriting.